C.C. Reader Penn State Capitol's Varsity Tennis Team recently ended its season by finishing second in its conference. Pictured above is the team with its conference trophies. Bizarre Zodiac The surge of belief in astrology continues unabated as millions of Amer icans study the stars for guidance in leading their daily lives. What follows may look like your typical astrology column, but it offers somewhat atypical analyses of those born under the various monthly signs. Perhaps most mysterious of all is the source of this particular personality prospectus. Widely though anonymously circulated throughout Cal ifornia, it fell into the hands of the San Francisco magazine Mother Jones, whose editors claimed that it had been found by a janitor , at the Suicide Preven tion Center. The original author, how ever, has yet to step forward and accept responsibility, perhaps for fear of retri bution by true believers, if not by the stars themselves. GEMINI (May 21-June 211-You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are a bisexual. How ever, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Geminis are known for incest. CANCER (June 22-July 21)--You are sympathetic and understanding about other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most welfare reci pients are Cancer people. LEO (July 22-August 21)--You con sider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo people are bullies. You are vain, and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is dis gusting. Leo people are thieves. VIRGO (August 22-September 22)-- You are the logical type, and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your. friends. You are cold and unemo tional, and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers. LIBRA (September 23-October 22)-- You are the artistic type, and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely queer. READER photo by Harry R. Moyer Chances tor employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libras die of venereal disease. SCORPIO (October 23-November 21) --You are shrewd in business, and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio people are murdered. SAGITTARIUS (November 22- December 21)--You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless ten dency to rely on luck, since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks or dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal. CAPRICORN (December 22-January 20)--You are a conservative, and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything, and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still for too long, as they take root and become trees. AQUARIUS (January 21-February 19)--You have an inventive mind, and are jealous and possessive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be reckless and impractical; therefore, you make the same mistakes over and over again. People think you are stupid. PISCES (February 20 March 20)-- You have a vivid imagination, and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates, and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence, and are generally a coward. Pisceans do terrible things to small animals. • ARIES (March 21-April 19) You are the pioneer type, and hold most people in contempt. You are quick-tempered, im patient, and scornful of advice. You are not very nice. TAURUS (April 20-May 20)--You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination, and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are a communist. Thursday, May 28, 1981 With this being the next to the last issue of the C.C. Reader for this academic year, we wanted to share with you what information we have regarding the administration of the Graduate Record Examinations, Graduate Management Admissions Test, and the Law School Admissions Test for the 1981-82 academic year. While the information is not entirely complete, hopefully it will help those having to take these examinations to plan appropriately. Since Fall registration deadline for GRE and LSAT occur before school begins, you may want to contact our office in August to obtain the application forms. GRE GRE GRE GRE GRE GMAT GMAT GMAT GMAT LSAT LSAT LSAT LSAT *Registration deadlines have not yet been published. Students wishing registration material can reserve a - copy by stopping by the Counseling Center, or by calling 948-6025. Material will be distributed as soon as it is available, sometime this summer. NTE (National Teachers Examination) Information about test dates and registration deadlines is not available at this time. Students wishing to obtain copies of the registration materials, when they become available, may reserve copies by stopping by the Counseling Center in W-117, or by calling 948-6025. Miller Analogy Tests (M.A.T.'s) are given daily, by appointment, in the Counseling Center. To all of you seniors and graduate students who are graduating in June and August, we wish you the very best of luck and invite you to drop by to see us when you're in the area. For all of you juniors and graduate students who are taking a summer break, we hope you have a pleasant and productive time. We look forward to seeing and serving you again when you return. And, to those of you who will be taking courses this summer, we'll be here every day from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. to assist you with any counseling concerns you may have. So, stop on by or call 948-6025 for an appointment. On Tuesday, June 2, the Public Affairs Association will host David Cortright, the Executive Director of the National Committee for SANE nuclear policy. Mr. Cortright's lecture will focus on the case of the MX missiles. Mr. Cortright has held his current position since 1977. Through SANE, he initiated the national effort to stop the MX missile. Mr. Cortright has researched the strategic, economic, and environmental implications of the MX, and has organized widespread opposition to it. Mr. Cortright's lecture is slated for noon in the Gallery Lounge. Be there! jacket with a zipper, and one V-necked The following items have been found on campus and can be retrieved in the sweater with blue and gray stripes. Business Office in Room 114: five um- Some other items currently in the brellas, ten single gloves, ten pairs of Lost and Found Department include gloves, two light scarfs, two heavy calculators, sunglasses, glasses, keys, a scarfs, two belts, one red/yellow/black radio-cassette player, a man's watch, and child's jacket, one dark blue vinyl jacket extension cord/power unit for a calcula with snaps, one suede leather pile lined tor. There is also assorted jewelry and jacket, one blue hooded sweatsuit-type several containers of Sinex and Anacin Counseling Center News Test Dates to Remember Test Date 10/17/81 12/12/81 (2) 2/6/81 (2) 4/24/82 (2) 6/12/82 (3) 10/24/81 (2) 1/23/82 (2) 3/20/82 (2) 6/23/82 6/20/81 10/3/81 12/5/81 2/20/82 (1) A late fee will be charged. Consult Bulletin of Information (2) Exam will be administered at Capitol Campus. (3) Only the Aptitude Test will be administered. PUBLIC AFFAIRS ASSOCIATION LOST AND FOUND Regular Registration Late Registration Deadline Deadline (1) 9/17/81 11/6/81 12/31/81 3 / 1 9/82 5/7/82 5/21/81 9/3/81 11/5/81 1/6/82 Good LucJL Graduates Summer Hours Page 5 Sept. 18-22, 1981 Nov. 7-17, 1981 Jan. 2-12, 1982 March 20-30, 1982 May 8-18, 1982 5/28/81 9/10/81 11/12/81 1/21/82