C.C. Reader
Letters to
The Editor
Wumke Grieves
Editor:
I'm hurt. I'm shocked. I'm starting to
get angry. Some man-no, some animal
some animal just shot MY president.
Mine and yours. And I'm powerless to do
a damn thing about it! President Ronald
Reagan has just come out of surgery as I
start this letter.
Some will have us believe that strict
handgun control will help to prevent
such shootings in the future. But I don't
think that will work. It hasn't in the past.
Others will say stiffer and mandatory
sentencing for such crimes is in order.
But that hasn't stopped assassins in the
past. I don't know what the answer is.'
Maybe no one does. Maybe we should all
just say a few more prayers than we do
now. Right now, I can only thank God
that it appears the leader of our nation is
going to be alright. I also sincerely hope
the other three men who were wounded
will soon recover.
To write about anything else right
now would be completely inappropriate.
So with our country, all the way, I
remain
LEONARD WUMKE
Speaker at the TMI Rally hi Harrisburg READER Photo by Harry H. Moyer
Bye-Bye HACC
Editor:
We would like to thank Dr. South and
Bud Smitley for giving their undivided
attention to a persisting problem con
cerning the use of the basketball court in
the Multi-Purpose Building on week
ends.
It was previously stated in the C.C.
Reader that HACC students and other
students from the Middletown area were
monopolizing the basketball court on
weekends; consequently, access to the
court for Penn State students was
impeded. '
Hats off to Dr. South and Bud
Smitley for resolving the problem. En
forcing the presentation of identification
cards has assured accessibility to the
facilities for Penn State students. Also, a
security guard has been assigned to the
building on weekends to maintain ade
quate security measures.
Many students have expressed their
appreciation and we would like to ex
press OUTS
Thursday, April 2, 1981
c Question...
- Deer Dave and Bill?
Tanks for da apace in your columm?
It two bad dat your byassed against da
engineers? You Caret be perfect, eh?
Mr. Fed Up H senses like a reel smart
fella? Me just wanted two tell him dat
he"s tops on my list? Oh yeh—Me wanted
too say dat me don't hay a pen name? JR
is me nickname? Ask any intelligible
person in Risberg Hall?
Me would like 2 congradulate the
infamous Mark Phillips, an engineer two
(speld rong) too da end? Good project
(dors job in engineering lingo)? Hay Fed
Up H, U still didn't answer me question
from last edition? But, dors O.K. cause
me tink me no how hard it be two pry dat
diktionary of you face?
Me condolences too ya Fed Up 11, it
tuff havin 8 kredits after droppin Fin
ance (Tanks Mark)? I fink da answer two
me question from last time (How come
business students have so much time to
worry about what engineers do?) is dat
day hay 8 kredits 2 da engineers 12?
Me question dig time, Bill and Dave,
is how much duz a diktionary righter
make (answer you self, if you no)? Da
reazon me want two no is dat me want
too no dat me pal, Fed Up 11, - will
someday get a good project (dat*B job in
engineer lingo, ya no)? Also, I tink me
figured out how to use da question
mark?
Mike Kashishian
Paul Buber
P.S.-Me really learning from you, Fed
Up 11, Dat good acceptible language is all
important? Cause wit out it, you redly
duet B able 2 say what you redly mean?
Tanks again and me hope dat U don"t
tink dat me a zombie cause me really put
you up on de pedistal? Hope too here
from you again (and me tink you mite)
cause you got sum personnelity, guy?
Dear JR,
Congratulations! You have finally
mastered (?) the art of question marking.
Keep adhering to our profound advice,
Mr. Ewing, and we'll make another
Hemingway out of you, yet.
In response to your question, Mr..
Ewing, a dictionary writer can expect to
make about 30 copies per working day.
But not to worry, since it is evident to us
that you will never enter the profession.
Please note that we answered this
letter ourselves, Mr. Ewing, since it is
obvious that you wrote it yourself.
Either that, or you were helped by a few
of your equally talented fellow engin
eers.
Dear Bill and Dave,
Did you two guys found April Fools
Day?
Dear Foolish,
No, we did not found April Fools
Day. Your parents took care of that the
day you were born.
Dear Rob,
In 1937, Mr. Thurston G. Contac
Gentlemen: invented a medicine which the public
I enjoy your column very much,
almost as much as drinking prune juice , thought was a cure for the common cold.
Explain to
me
why
we Humanities Its consumption skyrocketed as people
everywhere bought it; Mr. Contac had
dition discovered a cold mine.
ai____lltudeni..ta_all_nmPired_ of wir-tt-"....5it
laulmeoursesau:7l37.—irin7iirni;
more ' k 7.._ Rather than giving your cold to this
""'"' millionaire, please send it to us; our
we entered with?
Earl J. Humanities refrigerator is on the blink.
A Stupid
By Bill Neil And Dave Caruso
Dear Mr. Humanities,
You asked us to explain why a
student must "sit through ' three terms
of Western Tradition courses. You are
wrong, prune juice breath. Humanities
students are not required to sit-through
anything. They may stand, if they see fit.
However, we advise you against this
inconsiderate practice. You see, when
you inevitably fall asleep, the awful
sound of your thick skull bouncing off the
radiator will rouse everyone else from
their well-deserved slumber.
Thank tou for your letter, we enjoyed
it almost as much as the Poles enjoy
dodging Soviet tanks on their way to the
picket lines.
Gentlemen:
Why do people brush their teeth in
the morning before they eat breakfast?
Student with no name
Dear Student with no name,
Because they eat breakfast after they
brush their teeth.
Dear Sirs,
What effect does eating a lot of
bologna sandwiches and drinking coffee
have on one's health?
Dear C.A.,
The FDA has conducted stringent
tests on laboratory animals concerning
your very question. Their findings: of
3,500 white mice that were kept on a
steady diet of bologna sandwiches and
coffee, over a three-month period, 3,499
perished.
So you can rest assured that one's
health is not affected by this curious
cuisine.
Dear William and David,
Can you explain a high-ranking ad
ministrator sleeping through a cultural
performance on campus, the very same
event that he fervently promoted, en
dorsed, and practically begged students,
as well as faculty and staff members, to
attend?
Theodore P. Rovost
Dear Mr. Rovost,
We are all well aware of the pain
staking tasks C.C. administrators must
carry out and the demanding hours they
must keep to uphold their esteemed
positions.
It is understandable, then, that after
countless nights of sleepless devotion,
these dedicated souls should rest their
weary eyes for a brief spell.
We were surprised to learn that our
administrators could afford the luxury of
taking time from their schedules to
attend an event in a civilian capacity.
SWeet dreams!
Foolish Pleasure
Dear Sirs,
Should I give my cold to Contac?
Rob I. Tessin
Ask
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