C.C. Reader
Wumke's Three Wise
Men
Editor
We would like to thank Leonard
Wumke for choosing our interpretation
of the Teddy Bear and the Ducky
anecdote for first prize in his contest.
The three of us are extremely grateful
for the case of Iron City. Our thanks also
go out to Leonard's messenger, Julio, for
delivering the prize. In all fairness to the
second-place entry, sent in by Chip and
J.R., it had to be a tough choice between
the two. Sorry fellas; we thought your
entry was excellent. Also, thanks again,
Leonard.
We remain
A Basket Case
Editor
There is a problem which should
concern Penn State students involving
the basketball court in the Multi
Purpose Building.
The problem is that the basketball
courts are being monopolized by stu-
c Question...
Gentlemen•
What is Spoony disease?
Dear Mr. K,
In its early days, the spoon was
native to Florida. From there, it was
exported to the rest of the world.
Unfortunately, there was one major
flaw in the manufacturing process: haz
ardous amounts of lead were indiscrim
inately used. Due to the presence of the
lead, people who used the spoons became
gravely ill.
This gave rise to the dreaded Spoony
disease, which was later to be immortal
ized in the ballad "Spoon Over Miami."
Gentlemen:
Who is credited with the saying,
"Never put off untill tomorrow what you
can do today"?
Dear Miss McGovemor,
We'll get around to answering your
question next issue. Maybe.
Letters
dents from Harrisburg Area Community
College (HACC) on weekends; conse
quently, Penn State students are de
prived of the use of the gym. Campus
administration should be made aware of
this dilemna; it reduces students' activi
ties and is a deterrent for students
remaining on campus during weekends.
Don't get us wrong, we don't want to
cause any hard feelings between HAAC
students and Penn State students, but
something should be done so that both
can have access to the basketball court.
We propose the possibility of estab
lishing separate times so that both
educational institutions can mutually
enjoy the use of the facilities. If worse
comes to worse, maybe the racquetball
reservation system can be employed to
reserve a basket.
Joe, Ed, Chris
Any consideration given to this mat
ter would be appreciated.
A Stupid
By Bill Neil And Dave Caruso
Dear Sirs:
Why do professors who teach Math
220 and 221 turn into stand-up comed
ians and why doesn't the Book Store give
a free Mr. BM shirt with each copy of the
course text?
Mike K.
Down through the centuries, math
has always been one of the funniest
subjects around. Consider Euclid and his
famous discoveries, Pythagorus and his
much-respected theorems, or Isosceles
and his three-sided triangles. These
immortal funny men laid the ground
work of modern humor, and it is only
natural that our contemporary math
instructors should follow in their foot
steps. We are surprised you didn't
realize this for yourself; it's as easy as pi.
Concerning the Mr. Bill shirts: they
were ordered but somehow got mis
placed. You see, it's easy to lose a mere
100 shirts among the vast inventory that
is currently on display. When found,
they will retail for the nominal fee of
$12.50 plus tax. Though the manager of
the Book Store is a very generous man,
you can't expect him to give you the
shirt off his rack, can you?
Gina MeGovemor
Ask
Student with no name
Dear student with no name,
Thursday, February 19, 1981
Mike Kashishian
Paul Buber
Dear Sirs:
As a business major here on campus,
I am frequently reminded of the lack or
total absence of a collegiate vocabulary
by a portion of the engineering majors. I
refer to your editorial interview with
one Mark Phillips. What a moron! I
mean, does he really expect to get a job
by using his highly technical Neander
thal jargon? There are others, but I
would like to bring out an example to
which everyone can relate.
So to get to my question, why or
what has caused so much of the student
population to turn "thumbs down" to a
modern pedantic vocabulary which
should be typical of a college atmo
sphere?
Fed Up II
P.S. Keep up the great work gentlemen.
You actually put on the facade of doing
the work of two people. GOD BLESS
LAUREL & HARDY! No offense in
tended Fm sure.
Dear Fed,
The causation of this "Neanderthal
jargon" is twofold: 1) a lackadaisical
approach to grammar and, 2) the reali
zation that good grammar is not neces
sary to operate a locomotive.
If this poor treatment of the King's
English is so irritating to you, why not
do what we do—take to the friendly skies
and refrain from trains.
P.S. Keep up the great work of
submitting such interesting questions;
we wish there were more students like
you. You actually put on the facade of
being an astute observer as well as a
competent writer. GOD BLESS BILLY
SHAKESPEARE! No offense intended
we're sure.
Dear Bill and Dave,
I was recently in Vendorville and I
noticed assorted lights and wires dang
ling from the ceiling.
What is the meaning of this?
W
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2 years of liberal arts at your college plus 2 years of
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concentration in one of our challenging, upper division, = A nk
medically-related programs. It all adds up to a B.S.
degree and a choice of personally satisfying jobs with CI in
good starting salary. Our U.I
graduates are always in demand.
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So consider continuing your J ll6
education at Jefferson's College <
of Allied Health Sciences...
the degree of success! I.L. 111
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For more information contact: LIJI r oe
Office of Admissions and Financial Aid
(D .144
College of Allied Health Sciences
Thomas Jefferson University Lu
Philadelphia, PA 19107 (215) 928-8891
MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY • CYTOTECHNOLOGY • RADIOLOGIC TECHNOLOGY 0
DENTAL HYGIENE • POST•CERTIFICATE DENTAL HYGIENE • NURSING
ADVANCED PLACEMENT PROGRAM FOR REGISTERED NURSES
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N. Quisitive
Dear N. Quisitive,
Here is the definitive answer, ac
cording to Websters:
THIS adj. 1. being the person, thing, or
idea that is present or near in place,
time, or thought or that has just been
mentioned.
What's the matter, didn't you ever
hear of a dictionary?
Dear Sire:
Why do students, particularly engi
neers, insist on talking so much in the
main study room of Heindel Library
when others are striving, nobly, to
concentrate?
Dear Mr. Quiet,
While you may think that these
engineers are socializing in t ►e study
room, in reality it is their group therapy
session. As Fed Up II points out in a
previous letter, engineers' tongues are
about as fluent as those found in a cheap
sneaker. In an effort to rectif:; their
language liabilities, they congregate
daily in the study room to practice their
verbal skills. It is this powwow that
disturbs you.
Due to the excessive talking in the
study room, we recommend that you
study in the only quiet place in the
library--the area containing the volumes
upon volumes commemorating Poland's
greatest military conquests.
U you have (or think you have) a
question of reasonable stupidity, send it
to us. We welcome any and all requests
for information, and will make every
effort to respond to each one we receive.
Please bring letters to the C.C.
READER Office or give them to one of
the authors. Include your name and
place of residence, although names will
be withheld upon request, and be sure to
mark each one "Questions."
Your cooperation will be appreciated.
Page 3
B: Quiet