C.C. Reader
•
a
Buy One,
McDonald'i
with Cheese
Offer good at ,
McDonakl's
2270 W. Harrisburg Pike
Middletown, Pa.
Offer expires: February 15, 1981.
lin MI
Dear Sirs:
Why is Coke the real thing?
Jack Daniels
Dear Mr. Daniels,
You are undoubtedly an exception to
the rule. The majority of the students on
this campus holds the opinion that Coke
is not the real thing; it has long since
been replaced by an assortment of "real
things."
For someone with a name like yours,
we're surprised that you even had to
ask.
Dear Sirs
Why is engineering such an exclus
ively male field?
Dear Fran,
We weren't sure that your statement
was valid, so we checked the roster of
engineering students.
Unfortunately, we still aren't sure.
You see, too many names on the roster
are ambiguous, such as Pat, Les, Kim,
etc. Fran-kly speaking, it was names
such as yours that confounded us.
Judging from the names on the
engineering roster, it is apparent that
every Tom, Dick, and Harry is enrolled
in other programs.
A Stupid
Question...
By Bill Neil And Dave Caruso
Dear Sirs:
I am a taxpayer who is very upset
with the way that our bard-earned
money is used by the State Roads and
Highway Commission. I would like to
relate an example to you and your
readers.
Why, with all the money pouring into
the commission, can't they come up with
a stop sign that works? I noticed this the
other day when someone ran a stop sign.
Of course, I wanted to test my theory, so
I proceeded to follow, but my theory was
to remain a hypothesis. Just as I went
through the intersection, I was broad
sided by a moped. It completely totalled
my car.
Francis Guidarelli
C OUPON
McDonald's
■ i R
I. 111
Ask
So I ask you, what can be done to
stop those arrogant so and so's from
getting away with the deplorable habit
of running stop signs?
Dear Fed,
We have learned that a foolproof stop
sign is now in the works, figuratively
speaking, at the Playboy Laboratories in
Eyecatching, New York. It will eliminate
once and for all the problem of men
running stop signs, although it may
create a problem of stopping too long.
As for the fairer sex . . . well, all hope
has been given up for women drivers.
Thursday, February 5, 1981
•
to
Quarter Poundei
sandwich.
Dear Sirs:
As I was walking to class last week, I
noticed that several workmen were
repairing the street lights in front of the
Main Building.
What startled me, however, was one
workman in particular who was perched
atop a ladder eating his lunch.
Can you tell me why he was eating
lunch instead of fixing the lights?
Dear Gina,
He was eating lunch because he was
hungry. As to his choice of dining areas,
he is obviously a light eater.
Gentlemen
Several years ago, the federal gov
ernment initiated a nationwide inocula
tion campaign against swine flu.
What a waste of taxpayers' money!
So what if all of our pigs catch the flu?
Who really cares about dumb animals?
Let them catch the flu and die, as far as
I'm concerned.
Dear N.,
You are apparently misinformed
about this matter. To begin with, Uncle
Sam did not pay for the vaccine--McDon
alds did.
Don't you realize that without pigs
they would have no ham to make
hamburgers with?
We disagree with your inhumane
proposition to let "dumb animals" perish.
Where would we be now if Col. Sanders
hadn't supported the fight - - it chit
ken pox?
Fed Up U
Get One Free.
Coupon good only at this McDonakrs.
One coupon per person per visit. Cash
redemption value: 1/20 cent Owner/operator
for reimbursement, write to: 2286
W. Harrisburg Pike, Middletown, Pa. 17057.
Gina McGove.--
Gentlemen:
I have noticed some discrepancy
lately over the word ketchup. I have
always referred to it as catsup.
Which do you prefer?
Ann Ticipation
Dear Miss Ticipation,
We relish your question, but we
prefer mustard.
Gentlemen
Can you please tell me why the
Christmas lights in the Diriing Hall have
not been taken down? Don't they know
that Christmas was nearly two months
ago?
Dear Mr. Anderson,
Don't you have anything better to do
with your time than to worry about such
trivialities? Where is your Christmas
spirit anyway, Ebenezer?
They'll remove the lights when they
are good and ready. So if we were you,
we would be careful not to eat the eggs
we find on this year's Easter egg hunt.
N. Fluenza
I=l
If you have (or think you have) a
question of reasonable stupidity, send it
to us. We welcome any and all requests
for information, and will make every
effort to respond to each one we receive.
Please bring letters to the C.C.
READER Office or give them to one of
the authors. Include your name and
place of residence, although names will
be withheld upon request, and be sure to
mark each one "Questions."
Your cooperation will be appreciated
Ebenezer Anderson
Lt.o Gf)T
aUr2T(M6T
\N Cfsf .
ANSI,NE.RS!
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