C.C. Reader
Engineering-in-training
All classes are scheduled from
6:30 to 8:30 p.m. in the Audi
torium
Day & Date
Thur. November 15
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Thur. January 10
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Thur. January 24
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Tues. February 19
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Tues. April 8
The Dogs
Talk Back
by jeff drinnan
The gang of canines who alleg
edly terrorized Capitol Campus, and
who are now hiding somewhere in
Penn's woods, said they were un
fairly banned from this campus.
As a member of the Fourth
Estate, I was invited to the dogs'
hideout for an interview. The fol
lowing is a summary of what these
canines had to say, translated, of
course:
They objected to the statement,
"Capitol Campus is going to the
dogs," complaining that this was
made synonymous with degrada
tion. While conceding that they
lacked the intellectual sense of
humor which the humanities de
partment expected from everyone,
the dogs explained that the jokes
they played here were mainly slap
stick.
Since dogs haven't mastered
human language, they rely heavily
on visual communication and on
intonations of the voice. A wagging
tail means that a dog is friendly, a
curled lip means he's p.o.'d, and
their humor generally employs
visual comedy. "Artarrmeans "hi.
willyou play with me?" and "grr"
"you better watch your step!" They
have not developed any verbal
comedy routines.
Some people have called these
canines Robin Hood and his Merry
Men, making them a legend in our
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Dynamics
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time. It has been said that during
the early years of Capitol Campus, a
dog failed to bow down to a college
official. The canines say that just
because they are man's best friend
does not mean they have to be
obsequious.
Quite contrary to the pomp and
circumstance of early Capitol, the
dogs were far removed from taking
on the role of the pompous poodle.
During my observations, I didn't
detect a trace of Philistinism among
the dogs.
The canines charged that hu
mans are fickle--that people who
once enjoyed their silly comedy
routines (on non-pompous occasions)
now demand an effluence of intel
lectual, ironical humor.
As sentinels against burglars,
the dogs felt they fulfilled the role of
watchdogs. But now they have been
replaced by machines that engrave
numbers into valuables.
For the aforementioned reasons,
the canines resent the Capitol Cam
pus rule that dogs will not be
allowed. The dogs believe that the
administration will be "people"-
matic about the edict; that they
won't yield, no matter how valid an
argument is presented to rescind it.
Even Rin-Tin-Tin would be kicked
off this campus. Unless, perhaps he
would do an advertisement to pro
mote Capitol Campus.
Instructor
Professor Brey
Professor Brey
Professor Brey
Professor Brey
Professor Brey
Professor Brey
Professor Brey
Dr. Welsh
Dr. Welsh
Professor Bubel
Professor Bubel
Professor Bubel
Professor D
Miller
Professor D
Miller
Sexiest
Shows
on Television
by Stephen Brown
One of the most hotly
contested issues in the world
of modern television viewing
is the use, or abuse, of sex as a
means for higher ratings.
How often have we heard
the debate over TV's jiggle
shows, like Charlie's Angels,
or Three's Company. Some
have suggested that these
shows use the fairer qualities
of their stars, not their acting
ability, to sell the shows.
Some would say the pro
ducers are exploiting the fe
male anatomy. To anyone like
myself, who never missed an
episode of either, these accu
sations are preposterous.
It seems to me, though,
that the crusaders for televi
sion purity have overlooked a
significant portion of Daytime
television that might be offen
sive. In their assault on jiggle
shows, they've missed what I
consider to be the sexiest
shows on the screen, the game
shows.
Yes, that's right, those
"innocent" game shows. Now
before you get the idea what
turns me on is the sight of
people winning gobs of mon
ey, let me elaborate.
The trend of game show
questions has shifted from
things you learn at school to
things you learn in bed. The
more embarrassing and titil
lating the producers feel a
question is, the more interest
ing it will be to the viewers.
Let me cite a perfect example.
On Three's a crowd, a
show pitting the knowledge of
a wife and secretary about the
same man, the question was
asked "How long has it been
since your husband or boss
has made whoopee with an
other woman?"
The interesting part came
as the husbands frantically
tried to remember how long
they've been married, plus a
year, and the secretaries were
trying to remember the last
time their bosses wife was out
of town.
The answers were certain
ly more fun for the audiences
than the red-faced husband.
Honesty is highly stressed,
otherwise the show would be
boring.
of course that is only one of
many such shows on the
screen today. Many are guil
ty. The Newlywed Game is
Air Force Mobile Theatre
The U.S. Air Force Orien
tation Group will present a
multi-image show entitled
"Stretch the Limits of the
Sky" in front of Main Build
ing, Nov. 26, 1979.
The program shows the
evolution of aviation and will
constantly questioning the
couples as to how th4y like it,
where they like it, and when
was the last time they liked it.
Whatever happened to
"What's your husbands favor
ite color?" Now it's Whats the
color of the negligee' your
husband likes best?"
The prizes on the show
aren't even worth the beating
your wife gives you on the
head with those big cards,
because you forgot about this
morning's interlude.
The Match Game, with
Gene Rayburn, is forever
making obvious references to
certain upper frontal aspects
of the female anatomy, which
is always good for a 6 match
sweep.
A typical conversation on
The Dating Game is "Bachelor
#2, when we're alone in the
hotel on our date, what will
we do?" "Hey baby, when we
ditch the chaperone, we'll just
do what comes naturally," say
Bachelor #2. Of course the
audience laughs uproariously,
and "beeps" Bachelor #2's ot
her comments.
The outfits on this show
that are worn by the bachlor
ettes are much more reveal
ing that most any TV show,
almost to the point of being
illegal.
Some shows actually use
the word sex in their ques
tions, but most devlop rather
polite euphemisms. For in
stance, Tattletales, with Bert
Convey, used the word "ro
mantic interlude." Other
greats are "romantic encount
er", "made whoopee", and so
forth. I should have kept a
diary of the many term for
such a simple act. It might
have sold millions.
What it all boils down to,.
when compared with the
saucy inferences of most of
today's game shows, Cheryl
Ladd and Suzanne Sommers
look like celibate, overclad
monks. I have never heard
but a few overt comments
from any of the gorgeous
starlets of television.
So, I suggest that the next
time your Playboy, or Play
girl, gets old in between is
sues, or you just wish to
present a suggestive atmo
sphere to someone special,
turn on to the game shows,
and I mean turn on.
be presented in a mobile the
ater from 9:30 a.m. to 3:00
p.m.
The 15-minute program
highlights the progress of
American aviation from the
early days of flight to today's
space age.