c.c. reader
while I'm behind
To some, the phrase “the
second time around” means a
second marriage. To me, it
means a late addition to the
family. When my oldest son
was three, he had two kid
brothers. When he was fifteen,
he was baby-sitting a kid sister.
Coping with three little
people was quite an exercise in
every sense of the word. Every
day brought a new experience.
I made plenty of mistakes,'not
the least of which was in the
area of sex education.
I came by my ignorance
honestly. My mother’s pre-
Spock generation handled the
subject with, “I’ll explain that
to you when you’re a little
older.” Time had a way of
standing still in those days.
There was no such easy cop
out for me for I was a
MODERN mother. I fielded
queries as they came: “Where
do babies come from? What are
those dogs doing? How come
we all have one and you don’t?”
I got the distinct impression
they knew, but were checking
to see if I did. Then came the
inevitable question, “Mommy,
what is f—?”
Informed, intelligent, in
hysterics, I screamed, “Where
did you hear a filthy word like
that?” “Peter says the f—ing
ball, the f—ing teacher, the
f—ing bus,... like that,”said Son
#l. “Well,’’said I, “that just
goes to show you what a dumb
bell Peter is. It’s a verb, not an
adjective.” He looked smug. We
both knew Peter didn’t have a
lick of sense when it came to
grammar.
“But what does it mean,
Mom?” he persisted. The lesson
in grammar had given me suf
ficient time to recover my cool.
I answered and, apparently
satisfied, my eldest left.
I was reprimanding myself
for having overreacted when
Son#2 ran in with, “Mom, what
is f—?" My second explanation
went more smoothly. At least I
didn't scream. I congratulated
myself on my adaptability.
Before I could become too
self-satisfied, Son#3 toddled in
and babbled, “Momma, f—?”
Peter could never be accused of
age discrimination. The door
bell rang and, exhibiting a
marvelously short attention
span, the littlest ran off to play
with his buddy. Gene Tuney is
not the only one to have been
saved by the bell.
As we all grew older, the
questions became more sophis
ticated: “How does the little
egg get fertilized? How come
you and Daddy didn’t wear
your pajamas to bed last night?
What is that box of white
things in your bottom drawer
under all the sweaters?”
The elementary school sys
tem had cut me a break on this
last one asked by the youngest.
His big brother waved his hand
saying, “I know. I know.” And
he did. He gave a stunningly
accurate rundown of my repro
ductive system.
I was pleased and I com
plimented him on his presenta
tion. “01»* tJtat’s; nothing,” he
said. “We jnBt studied that in
school. Next week, we’re going
on to the earthworm." I was
I'd better quit
by joan klem
relieved to have been taken off
the hook so easily, but dis
tressed to discover I was con
sidered somewhat less complex
than the earthworm.
At some point, the ques
tions ebbed. I began to feel the
worst of it was over when I
discovered there was to be a
second time around. After the
usual time lapse, a daughter
was bom. I felt confident, with
all my previous, if rusty, ex
perience, that I would be able
to handle her sex education in a
more enlightened way.
I am brimful of appropriate
answers, but she never asks the
right questions, she never
bothered to ask what f— means,
no doubt she had that squared
away in utero.
This child of the ’7o’s comes
up with new material: “Mom
my, am I a lesbian because I
kissed Susie? Why don’t you
shave there every day like
Daddy shaves his face? What is
the Pill?”
To this last, I responded
glibly, “What Pill?” She an
swered, “I don’t know. This girl
on TV just told her Daddy she
wants to use the Pill and he is
angry about it.” I knew how he
felt. I gave her an explanation
suitable (?) to a seven-year old.
She wanted to know, “Should I
have a baby or should I take the
Pill?”
“Aha,” I thought. Here was
an opportunity to pass along a
value judgment. I told her my
feelings on ingesting chemicals.
She sighed resignedly, “Oh,
okay. I guess I’ll go ahead then
and have a baby.” Good grief!
Happily, no definite time
schedule was set.
FEBRUARY HAPPENINGS
12 faculty recital hacc noon
sga meeting in conference room
men’s basketball sheanandoah home 7:30 pm
13 shanana concert hershy park arena 8 pm
’kiss mekate’ on witf 9pm
flower show live and painted at the art association 9:3C
am. to 1 pm.
keggar student center 9 pm. adm. $2.50
14 film Fellini’s 81 /2 at hershey med. center, 8 pm
gong show student show at york college 8:30 pm
Shakespeare play ‘julius caesar'B pm. witf tv
film ‘moon flights and medicine’ noon william penn
memorial museum
\///////////////y\
15 jazz clinic and concert dave stahl big band Bpm
hacc adm. $2
the budapest symphony orchestra hershey theatre
8:15 pm.
16 Stanley turrentine concert at the forum 8 pm
film ‘the red shoes’ hacc Bpm.
.17 romeo and juliet Susquehanna university Bpm
planetarium show ‘the moon* william penn museum
I’m trying to keep on my
toes, but I feel like an aging
boxer whose legs are giving
out. I would throw in the
sponge, but I’m too curious
about what the future might
bring.
A friend recently talked me
into going to a fortune teller. I
don’t believe in gypsies. She
insisted it was “just for fun.”
The seeress took my hand,
examined my palm and accur
ately told me my age, weight,
marital status, wedding date,
likes, dislikes, friends’ birth
days, and of my involvement in
a community college in Penn
sylvania. “Humph,” thought I,
“Just lucky guesses.” I don’t
believe in gypsies.
She ran her finger over one
of the lines on my palm and
said, “I see you have five
children.” “No, I have four,” I
countered. With a frown, she
glanced up, looked into my
eyes, and a knowing smile
spread slowly over her face. A
third time around? Mercifully, I
fainted. Am I worried? Heck,
no. I don’t believe in gypsies.
February is Heart Month
Do something special for some
one you love.
Learn how to perform C.P.R. It
could save a life.
Class weekly - See Nurse for
details.
Lou’s
In these days of “Studen- Add the sliced and peeled onion
try” one of the most devastat- and cook until the onion is light
ing things is to get home tired brown. Add tomato paste to the
from University, head hanging onion, stir with a wooden spoon
with the weight of intelligence Preferably (does not scratch
and find that you have to the pan). Add the required
prepare a meal. Here is a quick amount of water - 1 can water
and good, nutritious meal tak- to 1 can tomato paste. Add
ing half an hour to cook: sugar, salt, pepper, basil and
oregano and bring sauce to boil,
1 large Spanish or Bermuda cover pan, and simmer for Vz
onion (sweet) hour, stirring occasionally.
72 cup oil, preferably polyun- Prepare spaghetti according to
saturate instructions. Serve piping hot.
3 small (6 oz.) cans tomato paste Pour sauce on the spaghetti.
V 2 cup sugar Sprinkle Parmesan cheese gen
-72 teaspoonful basil (must) erously on top of the tomato
1 teaspoonful oregano, or to sauce, and enjoy! Serves four.
taste (optional) This sauce can be frozen for
Parmesan cheese an unlimited amount of time in
Salt and black pepper to taste the freezer. It is also excellent
Heat oil in a covered pan. with meat balls, with or with
out cheese.
03 MB 9*
chess tournament u. park 9 :30 am. to 7 pm
bowling shippensburg home 1 pm
mass student center 7 om
mutuumu H
18 'fhe puppet .proposition’ children’s theatre,
performed by lovelace theatre company from Pitts
burgh 2 pm. adm. $2
audobon field trip to the frozen waterfalls of richett’s
glen, meet 9am. behind summerdale plaza mcdonald’s
phone 1-486-5031.
running win a cherry pie run with the road runners at
hacc 1:30 pm.
19 demonstration multi-media artist william rohrbeck
at messiah college 7 pm.
recreational vehicle show at farm show arena
sga meeting in conference room
20 square dance western village in Carlisle
musical ‘bye - bye birdie’ fulton opera house
lancasterB:3op thur2/24
planetarium show ‘the easter story’ shippensburg state
colleae7:3oDm.
swampwater party 9 pm. student center
21 clown make up program by norman burkhardt east
shore library 7 pm.
film ‘lesammurai’ hershey med. centerBpm
film ‘smokey and the bandit’ york college 8:30 pm
black culture music and theatre by local black artists
people place 7 pm.
Corqer