Thirsty’s Tavern
Wednesday nite
OLDIES
Friday and Saturday
DISCO
mi New Submar
Sandwiches
m Big screen T
Heineken
Budwieser on
20 "Starview" gong show w/ Tucker Young =
The I
SALTY DAWG !
11 Billy Price and the Keystone Rhythm Band j
13 "Starview" album night
15 American Madness
Rt. ,39
Hershey
566-3776
>< >«■►< >•«■»< >•«■»< >^MI
Route 230 Highspire
Nome of
Ybimc
FEBRUARY
14 Susquehanna River Band I
16 Fat Chance
17 Fat Chance
18 Fat Chance
12 Tucker Young j
21 Open |
The other day, sometime in October, I started
working on my resume. Like 93 percent of the seniors
on this campus, I find writing my resume a drudgery
second only to studying for the EIT exam. Somehow,
even when I do make some headway, it just doesn’t
seem to be what I want it to be. For example:
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JOB OBJECTIVE: Desire a meaningful position in an
Engineering capacity with a large, rapidly advancing
company which will utilize as many of my skills as
possible.
This translates to
(I want a token position with any company that is big
enough to allow my slovenly nature to continue
undetected as well as be able to pay me alot of money.)
M
2
SPECIAL SKILLS
1. Prudent manager of funds. Exhibit natural marketing
abilities and have been trusted with numerous ac
counts. (I consider myself in a class with Jackie
Onassis when it comes to shopping. I own every
concievable charge plate and am terrific for getting my
money back on a used item.)
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1-1
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2. As both spectator and participant, I enjoy intense
athletic competition. (I will fight to the death for the
last packet of Herhsey’s hot cocoa mix left in the
house.)
3. Am especially proficient in evaluating and observing
situations and developing action to improve situations
when necessary. (I am really nosey and get great
pleasure out of knowing who is with whom at what
time, etc. If there’s something I don’t like, you are
certain to hear about it because I also happen to be a
top-notch complainer.)
Do you get the picture?
Speaking of jobs, I can think of a number of people
on this campus who must really love theirs. Like that
guy in the book store who makes me feel like it’s
personally my fault (punishable as is any other hideous
crime at Capitol) that he ran out of 3-cycle log paper.
’or how about the maintenance guy who came over
the other day and told us (whilst standing in the 2
inches of water covering our bathroom floor) to call him
back the next time the toilet runs over.
Or the woman who is the head of Admissions who
acted like she was giving me the opportunity of a
lifetime by letting me come to this campus. (Who was
she trying to kid?!)
Or the people at BEOG who have known since the
middle of last year that I was goint to get financial aid
but won’t get my money to me until I owe 85 percent of
the campus a quarter?
>*
Ph
Oh
•43
S 3
Anyway, back to my resume
Resume writing
Yuckilll
by gayle greenwald
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