Page 6 Slipped By Gregory Hall Well, here you have it, first hand, right from the source's mouth. The Beatles have Teunited Yoko Ono, group spokes person, said the band will go 'into the studio next week. There, they will record an album to be released in "about three weeks—give or take a few days." No choice for a record label has been made at this writing. However, inside sources say the Beatles are favoring John Denver's Windsong Records as their first choice. "Money is no object," said Ono, as she cited Denver's "pleasant persuasion and personality" as the Beatle's I.siite reason for the reunion. Also taken into consideration, reported Ono, was "Ringo's disasterous effect on the music world." ********ssss Mick Jagger said yesterday that the Rolling Stones will stick permanently to club dates. The Stone's lead singer reports that he loves the intimacy of playing small rooms. Due to volume of ticket requests, the Rolling Stones will be booked at downtown Toronto's Catalina Club until October 1997. "This is sure to make Margret love me -- to hell with Pierre," said Jagger. ====l:l The Grateful Dead are not dead at all, said group 4 011* ..*l6 ~ ‘. 'l'l% My DISC spokeperson Elliot Ghoul. However, the situation is grave. C111111=11:13 Bad Company have changed their name to Worse Company. "You have society to thank," said lead singer Paul Rodgers. The band called Split Endz have finally split, due to a protein deficiency. ************ Two men and a ghost, billing themselves as Crosby, Stillman, and Nash, have been playing club dates recently on Hollywood's Sunset Strip. Members are Bing "Bingo" Crosby, a half-dead singer in search of a comeback; Dr, Irwin Stillman, a physician turned singer-songwriter; and the deceased poet Ogden Nash, who writes the group's lyrics and sings harmony. Stillman, citing "water on the brain" as reason for giving up his practice, says Crosby is "fun to york with." :`Nash is hard to get along with, though. Although he sings heavenly, he is rarPly ever seen, doesn't ever say much, and often will not show up for group rehearsals or dates." Despite Nash's unrelia bility Crosby added "B -B-B-B- Be-800 its the spirit that counts." To this Nash replied, " *********.** ~,. ~. .;,; F ~ ';~ * ea • gir 4i 1 Ahlfaii, stsllr. if. At - C.C. Reeder ussions Jimi Hendrix has recorded a new album, and has negotiated a long-term recording contract with Angel records for an undisclosed sum of money and 'Other earthly delights. Previ ously strictly a classical recordings label. Angel was willing to make an exception under "this strange set of circumstances," said Angel president Mary Halo. Reportedly sitting in on the new Hendrix sessions are Brian Jones on bass, J.S. Bach on keyboards and synthesizers, and Gene Krupa on drums. Noteable talents like Claude "Killer" Debussey, and Richard "Dick" Wagner have collabo rated with Hendrix on most of the new material. Hendrix, on behalf of Angel records, is negotiating con-, tracts for some of Heaven's greatest talent -- a previously untapped source that could have revolutionary impact on modern music. Top acts signed by Hendrix include Frankie Vivaldi & the Four Seasons, Orlando Gibbons & Dawn, interracial folk-duo Scott & Janis Joplin, Peter T. & The Tchaikovs-Keys, and the Celestial. Postphilharmonic Or chestra performing Haydn's "Seek" Symphony for the first time. ************ Beach Boy Brian Wilson died today after suffering a surfing accident in 18-inch swells off the coast of Malibu. He was heard screaming "help, help me Rhonda," but she just Carradine, By Bath Washnard A giant sea-gull flew by Capitol Campus today destroy ing property and making a mess in the parking lot, according to police reports. The sea-gull broke windows with its deafening scream that sounded like car-ra-dine-car-ra dine, one eyewitness observer stated. Investigations into the On The Home Front By Baffo Waabard As part of President Jimmy Carter's plan to promote the American philosophy of human rights throughout the nation and the world, White House Press Secretary Jody Powell, has announced the official end of the Upper Darby Police Force. In a statement from the President, read by Powell, the Special For The Media Bored By Ballo Wasbnard Executive members of the Capitol Campus Reader have disclosed plans for an upcoming party to be held in the student center. The actual date for the party has not been set yet, but it plans to be a good one, according to a representative from the Reader. This un named, but evidently sick man, expressed his ideas for chang ing the format of the 'party. "There are not enough people at the kegers, she said, I like to Martin Goes To Court By Julio Alvarez The parents of five young followers of the Rev. Ramondo T. Martin have gone to court in order to reclaim custody of their children. They claim that the five, who have been' travelling with Martin on his 'recent missionary pilgrimages, have been subjected to a brainwashing technique known as "Martinizing". Lawyers for the parents alleged today in court that, since their association with Martin, the children have "changed drastically". They no longer get to bed by 9:00, nor do they wash behind their ears. Lawyers representing the children countered that the Fields Enters Marathon By Baffo Washnard Why would a mid 40 year old, fat, jewish, woman with one leg want to enter the Boston Marathon? It seemed like a good question to ask so we went to the plush Hollywood home of Totie Fields to ask her. Ms. Fields is the owner, among other things, of a three-legged, over-weight poodle. When asked, by this reporter, what happened to her poodle for it only to have three legs, she said, "well, since I lost one of my legs I couldn't let that damn dog walk around with all of its. (Its refers to the neuter gender of the dog, which also is shared by Fields.) So, my husband cut off its" leg one March 32,1977 Carradine possibility that the giant bird could possibly be in search of David Carradine, the television star and almost award winning actor, have proved to have some validity. When contacted Carradine said, `‘ Hey, like, I killed a sea-gull one time, man, I, I really didn't want to do it, man, Like I'm sorry, really, really, sorry man! r' reason behind such an action was stated as plainly evident. "They have no brains," the statement read, "they are just a bunch of assholes running around with badges, busting perfectly innocent street corner dwellers who have nowhere else to go." In response to the presi dential proclamation one Upper Darby Patrolman was reported to have said, "Huh?" touch and grab ass as it goes by and there's just not enough people." Among the proposed changes she included: free entry to anyone who hangs soft measuring nine inches; every one must take their clothes off and do a hit of acid upon entry; women with big breasts (46 or over) must provide additional percussion instrumentation whenever called upon by whomever; people who don't have a good time will be sterilized... parents have no right to "impose their own religious beliefs on their offspring." They also said that, since the youngest of Martin's followers involved in the action is 45, the parents "have no right to tell, them what to do." Should the court declare that the parents do have custody over their children, they will be sent to a "deprogramming mission" out side Juneau, Alaska. The mission, known as the Center for the Rehabilitation of Ardently Zealous Evangelists (CRAZE), is under the direc tion of the Rev. Billy Graham. He said that he plans to "teach these children God's truth - whether they like it or not." day and we threw it into the oven with some mayonaise, and it made a real great meal, but it wasn't enough." As Totie does sometimes stray off the track, the question why would she want to run the Boston Marathon was posed again. Fields said, she had had such a magnificient recovery enabling her to return to the limelight that she saw no bounds to her new potential. Wishing Totie good luck in the upcoming race the inter view ended, but not before she asked this reporter to dinner. "We're having broasted thigh wrapped in vericose vein sauce, it's simply marvelous." We respectfully declined and went home to write this story.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers