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EDITORIAL
A Recurring Theme
After years and years of doing and seeing the
same things you might expect to get tired eventually.
Hassles over money, who gets how much and who
decides, is a perennial issue here. Problems, or
should that be stated "personality conflicts", between
white and black are also occurences that seem to be
repeated year after year. And now a move by the
student government designed to help our resident
students sleep better at nights, via armed security
patrol officers. Once again an effort tried
unsuccessfully in the past, but, who knows how it'll
turn out now. Evaluation procedures for• rating profs
is once again being examined. We could probably go
back into our newspaper files and dig up these same
stories, tailor made for this year, except for name
changes.
We students find all these late breaking news
items news. What about our administration, our
faculty and our staff? It must be old hat to them.
If variety is the spice of life, then everyone around
here, not including students, it seems,could use a
good shot of garlic.
How many times can a prof teach Econ 802? How
many Casino Nights must be held afore we break the
bank? How many bathtub races and spring concerts
will there be before a tired administrator stands up
and says, "I'm bored." Of course there's a premise
here when one asks why aren't they bored, that
assumes administrators or faculty do get bored.
Perhaps they don't.
Yesterday, as was reported by a reliable source,
was Wednesday. That particular Wednesday
happened to be exactly right smack dab in the middle
of the 76-77 school year. We've completed 15 weeks
of study, and we've 15 more to go. It's time to get your
school ring. It's time to order your yearbook. You
don't want to forget all the delightful times you've had
during your stay at the Capitol Campus.
The Capitol Campus was to have a name change.
It didn't go through last year. It didn't go through this
year.
Let's make something really happen. Let's see
what could we do?
Hi-jack a jet from Harrisburg International Airport
and land it in the back parking lot.
Steal the piano from 211? Set off half a case of
explosives in the energy building? Yeah, the energy
building, you know the one. It was re-painted, exactly
as it appeared last year
How 'bout sit-ins? Stand-ins? Or don't people do
those things anymore? Stop the war! What war?
Kidnap Chief Paul?
Shit!
Capitol Campus Reader
of the Pennsylvania State University
The Capitol Campus
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Happiness Is A Warm Gun
By Ed Perrone
It's a rough world outside.
Everybody knows it. People
are mugged, homes are
burglarized, and maybe one of
these days it'll happen to you.
Odds are that it won't. But
maybe it will.
If it does happen to you, will
you feel any better knowing
that, somewhere on campus, a
security officer is walking
around with a loaded gun?
Somewhere. Maybe right
down the street. More likely a
half-mile away. Will that
unseen gun chase away your
burglar, or mugger, a rapist?
I doubt it.
Assuming, of course, that
someone is going to bother to
rob, rape or mug you in the first
place. Which is a damn big
assumption.
With all the talk of a rising
crime rate on campus, there are
still no reports of violent crime.
No one's been shot yet. No
one's been raped. I'm not
saying that it will never
happen; I'm not that naive. But
Shoot Out At The OK Corral Revisited
By Tim Adams
For some time now there has
been a question as to whether
or not the campus security
force is sufficiently prepared to
handle dangerous situations.
Namely, should full time
security officers be armed? I
put this question to my friend,
Wyatt S. Shooter.
"You're damned straight
they should," he answered.
Before I could interrupt he
went on, "Why, Tim, with
what's going on today, crimi
nals and perverts of all
descriptions running loose, no
one should leave his house
without one of these little
babies strapped on."
With that he proceded to
show me his "little baby", a
.357 magnum. "Why with this
thing cuddling my waist I just
pray for some creep to give me
Tomorrow Or Tomorrow Or Tomorrow Or Tomorrow
By Tim Adams
I've been putting this article
off for some time, but one
finally has to do what one has to
do.
There is an art to
procrastination. While its true
that everyone does it, there can
be a difference in the end
product that is as different as a
Van Gogh compared to a Nick
Ruiggeri. There both painters,
but...
One young staller puts it
this way: "I always do the next
day what my mom told me to do
the day before."
Putting something off
requires skillful phraseology
when? And how often? And is
an armed campus the only
protection from something that
might happen once or twice a
year? And that would probably
happen anyway, guns or not.
The level of paranoia is
rising rapidly on this campus -
even faster than the crime rate.
And in a lot of ways, that's
good. Paranoia leads to caution.
It leads to keeping your. doors
locked. It leads to reporting
suspicious cars before the
suspicious people in them can
do anything. It leads to keeping
an eye on your neighbor's house
when he's not home.
But guns? That's overreact
ing in the wrong direction.
The police officers on
campus claim that they need
guns for their own protection.
Bull. In the past five years, how
many well armed policemen
around the country were blown
away by crazies bent on
shooting up anyone in sight?
Guns didn't protect them. A lot
of them didn't even get the
chance to use them.
And what will these
officers be doing with their
an excuse to use it."
"Well, what if you used it on
an innocent bystander?" I
"Shoot first and ask
questions later," Wyatt re
sponded. "Besides," he contin
ued, "you don't have to use it.
Just knowing it's there gives
me security and can be mighty
damn intimidating."
ty?" I said,
"I mean, given the crime
You don't simply tell some one
you'll get around to doing
something, you have to learn to
be definitive.
A scenario might go
something like this: "Sure I'm
going to do that paper tonight. I
know someone who had the
course already. I'll get a list of
books for the project and
sketch an outline."
Your listener will be
impressed with your positive
attitude.
Sometime later that same
listener will ask you how the
paper's coming. You don't
answer, "What paper?" You say
"Are you kidding? I've got a
thesis here that will knock his
February 10, 1977
guns when they're not playing
Starsky and Hutch? Right now,
there's absolutely no chance of
an accidental shooting on
campus, because there's no
thing to shoot with. The odds
against this go down tremen
dously, however, when guns
are being toted 24 hours a day.
Ask Claudine Longet about it.
I'm not saying that the
security officers here aren't
well trained. They are. They
know what they're doing. But
they're still human.
Nobody would like to come
home and find their house
burglarized. But would you
rather come home and find the
Earps and the Clantons
shooting it out in your
backyard? Or your living room?
No r body's saying that the
police here don't have the right
to protect themselves. But guns
are going too far. Try a
blackjack, or a nightstick, or a
can of Mace, or a tear-gas
pistol. At least you can get up
after they knock you down. But
let's drop this insanity about
guns right now. The only
purpose of a gun is to kill.
statistics in this particular
neighborhood, don't you think
you are over-reacting."
"Hell no," Sharpshooter
ricocheted. "Besides, I can't feel
like a real police officer without
one of these things."
"Well," I said, "I sure hope
you don't hurt anyone with that
thing, and for that matter
yourself."
Sharpshooter told me he
calls his weapon "a little piece
of mind." "How come I don't feel
any better knowing you're
carting that thing around?" I
said.
Anyhow if things slow down
and the crime wave stops,
maybe we'd like to get some
guard dogs and throw up a
huge fence and have the place
guarded night and day; a safe
little OrweLlian camp where all
the officers are friendly and full
of "little pieces of mind."
socks off. Right now I have the
problem of trimming it to 12
pages."
Now you have your listener
worried because he's only
written five pages and
stretched it at that by triple
spacing and enlarging margins.
The paper is due the next
day. Your friend says, "How's
the editing job on those 12
pages coming?"
Now your set to lay the
Coup de grace on him, "I
threw them out."
Dumbfounded, he'll grope
for words or give you a
disbelieving smile.
You simply walk away
saying, "I'll do it tomorrow."