Page 6
Voices Beyond The Grave
Ixix, a six-year-old girl,
spoke to two amateur
mediums during a recent
session with a Ouija board.
The mediums, Joyce
Cambron and Jay Kirssin,
both live in Harrisburg, Pa.
They consider the Ouija to
be a misused scientific tool.
“Ouija is not a toy,” Miss
Cambron insisted. “It is an
important tool for under
standing the unknown. It is
one of the few successful
means we have to com
municate with the dead.”
Ixix was killed in a car
accident along with three
brothers and one sister in
July of 1967. She had a
message for Jay and Joyce.
She wanted them to visit her
father and tell him she is
happy and not to miss her.
Unfortunately, the child
could not give them an
address.
“Pop-pop lives home,”
Ixix insisted over and over
again. Try to explain the U.S.
Postal System to a dead
six-year-old.
“The Ouija has given us a
lot of information about the
afterlife,” said another me
dium in the group, Art Jaso.
“The spirits we’ve contacted
agree on life after death.”
“There is no such thing
as reincarnation,” Art said.
“You should make the best
of your life on Earth. Nobody
gets a second chance.”
The other enthusiasts
confirm this statement. They
ask about reincarnation with
every rational spirit con-
Dear Professor
Dear Professor are you
busy?
I've a word or two to say
'Bout the feelings I’ve been
feeling
'Bout my graduation day.
Well, I've fought the weary
battle
With the papers and the
books
But the facts are fast
retreating
From the courses that I took.
Oh, the sleepless nights of
study
And the papers that I wrote
And the days spent hearing
lectures
And the hours taking notes;
Are you sure, my dear
professor,
That the time has been
well-spent
And this isn’t just another
For which I’ll soon repent?
Please, professor, reassure
me
This will all pay off in time
And I won’t be sending
thank-yous
From the unemployment
line.
By Gerry Achenbach
tacted. “We’ve yet to get an
affirmative answer on rein
carnation,” Jay said.
According to the spirits,
happiness in the afterlife 1
depends upon your frame of
mind. Wayne Stewarts was a
sargeant in the French
Foriegn Legion. He does not
like being dead and wants
very much to be back on
Earth.
Fiona Ordwai, on the
other hand, was a spinster
fortune teller in
Philadelphia, Pa. She enjoys
being dead. She claims that
there is such a place as
heaven if you want heaven to
be there. Fiona prefers the
freedom of the cosmos. She
visits Earth because she
Martha Thomas’s Professional Writing class : Is there a ‘best seller’ here?
CARF—A Plea For Donations
As this year’s chair
person of the Chess Aid
Research Fund (CARF), I
would like to say a few
words for the wives of men
stricken with Chess Disease.
Commonly called chess
widows, these women are
the true sufferers. Chess
Disease victims do not
realize the extent of their
illness, and indeed, are often
quite comfortable in their
abnormality. Let me share
with you my experience as a
chess widow.
One fateful evening, I
challenged my fiance to a
friendly game of chess.
Little did I know that he had
latent Chess Disease tend
encies, and that for him,
there could be no such thing
as a friendly chess game.
With a crazed look that I
mistook as passion for me,
my beloved agreed.
After two minutes of
play, he grinned. “Check
mate.”
“Ah-ha-ha-ha,” I giggled,
"how clever.” I then
surveyed the board. He was,
of course, right. I had lost.
I did not mind losing,
C.C. Reader
By Karen Pickens
wants to
Fugre lived in what is
now Venezuela before the
Spanish invasion. Even
though her life was one of
hunger and want, she claims
it was better than death. She
died giving birth to her first
child.
Fugre is lonely and loves
to visit with people. If she
could live again, she would
want to live in the United
States.
“Fugre said she could
read our minds,” Joyce said.
“She doesn’t need the Ouija
board to make contact with
our thoughts, but we cannot
communicate without it.”
“Haunted houses and
tormented spirits are a lot of
though I preferred a longer
game. We played again. I
lost.
There we sat, just a pair
of lovebirds wooing over a
simple board game—and
ready to kill. His mustache
twisted tighter, his voice
hinted of Peter Lorre. I was
annoyed with his cool
superiority. This time, I
would win. I would win, I
would!
I didn’t.
I then informed my
darling fiance that if he beat
me again, I would never ever
play chess with him at any
point in the future under any
circumstances. He tri
umphed again.
Still unfamiliar with all
the symptoms of the disease
I had unleashed, I later
married him. But, from the
day he carried me over the
threshold with a portable,
magnetic chess set tucked
under his free arm, I knew
that I was destined to be a
chess widow.
Other recreation widows
can sympathize with a chess
widow, but no other group
bears as heavy a burden.
nonsense,” Jay said. “Our
sources tell us that any
haunting is done in jest or
sometimes in spite.”
All three mediums agree
that fear of the unknown is
based on ignorance. The
dead cannot hurt the living.
“Your own mind has
incredible power,” Art
claimed. “Your own fears are
the only things that can hurt
you.”
The group plans to
continue with their experi
ments. “There is so much
that we don’t know,” Joyce
said. “We learn something
new with every session.”
All three mediums feel
that the Ouija should be
treated with respect. People
By Virginia Sassaman
Football widows can join in
the beers; golf widows can
get becoming suntans. For
chess widows, fate has
decreed a sentence of smoke
filled parlors and the endless
monotony of chess clocks.
No Chinese bamboo
torture can compare with the
pain of clocks ticking
through hours of silence.
There is no conversation;
victims concentrate on win
ning. There is no time to
enjoy the game; in fact,
there is often no time to
finish the game. Dedicated
diseased players can predict
the final outcome many
moves in advance. Games
are quickly halted, as the
warriors prepare for their
next battle.
We at CARF have found
that the chess widow cannot
combat Chess Disease.
Football widows can kick in
the television sets, golf
widows sabotage the carts.
The poor chess widow is
helpless. Carf can offer
these women the following
suggestions: 1) DO NOT
destroy the chess set. Ches
Disease victims have the
April 29, 1976
are not toys, even after
death.
“If you behave yourself
and try to be a good person
in life,” Joyce said, “you
need not fear death.”
“Spirits seem to have a
carefree existence," Jay
said. “They don’t have
EarthJy concerns such as
food or rent to bother
about.”
“Spirits,” Art added, “are
free to learn about the
universe. They are not bound
to one planet or time.”
Despite the optimism,
none of the mediums has
plans for an early suicide.
They all seem quite content
to receive their information
second hand.
Evocation
She is walking down the
street
One step at a time
Her entire body is
In motion
Hands
moniously
With breasts and feet
She is dancing
move har-
Her clothes sway rhyth
mically
With her body’s move
ment,
The air and sunlight
Play in her hair,
She is alive with motion
She is moving:
She is woman being.
By Susan Wohlbruck
peculiar capacity to play
mental chess when equip
ment is lacking. 2) DO NOT
try to join the game yourself.
Chess Disease sufferers
have no patience for any
player who cannot see a
draw at least 30 moves in
advance. 3) DO NOT walk
naked through the room.
Only a temporary diversion,
this will be seen by your
husband as loving support
for his game, as it generally
hastens his victory. 4) DO
NOT pester the patients by
spilling drinks, spraying
with the room deodorizer, or
“accidentally” knocking all
the pieces off the board.
This tactic will clear the
room of smoke, clocks, and
your husband.
In short, a chess widow
can comfort herself only
with the knowledge that
Chess Disease is not fatal,
and we here at CARF are
working day and night to
find a cure. For the sake of
these unfortunate ladies,
won’t you please give
generously to aid us? And
remember, your gift to
CARF is tax-deductible.