PAGE TWO Somewhere along the line, someone ordered some snow-a little too much it seems for dear old Capitol Campus. The cold white stuff appeared on January 18th and decided to stick around until the 23rd, on the roads that is. Either the school believes everyone on campus is an expert winter driver or perhaps its just that they're trying to save some money, but the road conditions on campus during the recent snowfall were cloplorable...Minor attempts were made to scrape the snow off the road, with some cinders being thrown down for good measure. Well, it seems that these attempts were just not enough. Several accidents occurred on campus during this latest whitetail, and perhaps they could have been avoided if the roadways on campus were properly tended to in this sort of foul weather. Pedestrians too had a hard time transportation-wise. With many cars succumbing to the frigid weather, many would.be motorists hoofed it to class on the walkways from the dorms and Heights. These strips of macadam were snow covered during the recent storm and as the temperatures dropped, the snow froze into ice, making locomotion treacherous and hazardous to say the least. To compound this danger, on each walkway there is a slight hill which makes walking in icy conditions next to impossible. Also, little consideration is given to those students who have to walk from the University Apts. to class. Walking on the side of the road in snowy or icy conditions is also quite dangerous, and perhaps some sort of walkway might be established for these Campus residents also. What the READER suggests is that the powers at be on campus make an effort the next time snow descends on Capitol Campus to remove it promptly and efficiently for the safety of the entire campus community. WE NEED COVER Each week, the READER _ features a photograph on its cover. As nice as it is seeing one's photos in print each week, it sometimes becomes hard coming up with an image worthy of a cover every week. This term, the READERis lookng for cover material. Do you have a photograph that's special to you which you think others might enjoy seeing? If so, bring the photo, snapshot or negative to the C.C.READERoffice W-110. The only requirement is that it be vertical in format and in black and white... any technical details can be worked out later on. So, submit and you just might get in print. Get in touch with Fred Prouser, Photo editor C.C. READER OFFICE W-110 this space for rent - contact Huck Hession, C. C. Reader Business staff. does the business staff have staff? Th• Capitol Campus Reader The C. C. Reader is published by the students of the Pennsylvania State University at Capitol Campus, Middletown, Pa., and is printed by the Middletown Press & Journal during the Fall, Winter and Spring Terms. Opinions expressed by the editors and staff are not necessarily those of the University Administration, Faculty or Students. Editor-in-Chief Associate Editor Associate 8 Photography Editor Business Manager .... Assistant Business Mgr . Business Deot Photographer Layout SGA Correspondents . Hot Lion Coordinator . Graphics On-Campus Typesetter Advisor Faculty Advisor .. Jim Bollinger Doug Gibboney ..Fred Prouser ...Ken Hession —.Pave Nonn Bob Pobiak, Robert Eroh, John Michalyshin Joe Minnici, Gene T. Eddy Romeo Traianus, Ronnie Wer, Phyllis Schaeffer, P.R.J. Smith, Mark Feldman Doug & Jim & Phyllis Mike McAllister, Russ Hogg Dave Nicholas Diane Cressler Eileen Hogg Jim Ferrier Dr. Betty Thorne C.C.hEAbER Got A Bitch? continued from pg. 1 1. The need for left-hand ed desks, at least four per classroom. The need for left-handed desks were brought up last year. S.G.A. had been under the impression that they had been ordered, but they were held-up due to a delay in ordering. Nonetheless, they have been ordered. Two provisions of vehicle registration form that should be eliminated; (a) The vehicle will be parked on campus at no risk to University. (b) If the vehicle is parked in violation of any regulation it may be removed by the University. These provisions add in sult to injury. It's bad enough we have $7.50 a term parking fee but then the University isn't responsible for security of vehicles-security which is paid for out of the $7.50 fee! What if a car is damaged by a University snowplow or hit by a University vehicle... What if a car is damaged by being towed away? The deck is stacked against the student, They are at the mercy of campus security. Also this whole form is absurd to begin with. Cars are registered with the state why set up a campus bureau of motor vehicles It's okay to put license numbers on a form but this particular form is an insult to academia especially at an upper divi sion school. We are in full agreement with this complaint. But as the provision stands we are not fully aware of the legal aspects of the complaint. We will check into this matter further. Also, would the per son who made this complaint please stop by the S.G.A. office if interested in trying to do something about it. 3. Outlaw cigar and pipe smoking in class. At this point it is up to the discretion of the specific in structor in the classroom. If you have a problem consult your professor about it. 4. Why were grades de layed so long from fall term? According to Mr. Thorne at the Records Office the grades were sent to Univers ity Park, but UP was not able to process them over the Holidays. That is what caused the delay. 5. Why can't restricted stickers be used at the Rec reation Building? This problem has been discussed at S.G.A. meet ings. A proposal was written and in fact published in this paper. At this point, we are at a standstill. 6. Better equipment at the student center, especially ping-pong tables. The Rec reation building has brand new ones. The tables at the student center are deplor able. Due to tight funds the decision was made to put them into the Rec/Ath Build ing. The student center will be taken care of next time funds are available. continued on pg. I see 'That's Good!' What Is More Practical - A College Diploma Or A Roll Of Toilet Paper? As I sit upon my behind, I wonder what is more practical - a college diploma, or a roll of toilet paper? You say that the diploma is much more valuable? Well, consider the following for toilet paper's superiority. A roll of toilet paper has a real practical use. It performs a very vital function for society. Without it, where would our nation be? In mighty bad shape, that's where. Diversity of any commodity is important, and toilet paper leads the field. "TP" can be used to blow our nose; wipe our eyes, fold contact lenses into, and even clean our glasses. As you now have noticed, the many everyday, practical uses are far too numerous to mention. Can a college diploma match that? Toilet paper also has much artistic potential. Have you ever noticed the many colors and decors that the stuff comes in now? No matter what color or design a bathroom is, a roll of toilet paper is made to match it. Diplomas come in a variety of colors, as long as they are white and gold. Now really, which is more pleasing to the eye? Certain brands of toilet papers are advertised as being so soft, that they will mesmerise our behinds. A thin, cold sheet of parchment used as a diploma is certainly nothing to rub over my skin. When was the last time you carried your diploma around with you? If you do, you're awfully strange. A few sheets of "TP" torn off the roll and folded up like kleenex, is an excellent item to use for a cold. It may even be softer than facial tissue anyway. When was the last time one of your friends asked to see your high school or colege diploma? No one has ever asked me. But, let someone go into a bathroom that has no readily available toilet paper when they need it, and listen to them devote all of their energy in hollering for its immedate presence. As for popularity, good ole toilet paper has the college diploma all wiped out. Of course, there is at least one pro for the diploma. Did you ever see someone hang toilet paper on their living room wall? I never have as of this day, but who knows? After this message, people may start decorating their interiors with it. Halloweeners decorate houses on Halloween night with toilet paper, so maybe interior decorators will pick-up on the trend. Imagine a doctor displaying toilet paper on the office wall instead of his/her medical school diploma. It may be absurd, but there may be some hope for it. Could you ever in vision throwing college diplomas out onto the football field? Again, "TP"wipes up. "Come into the living room and see my toilet paper. Someday I'll be able to hang up my toilet paper for the entire world to see. Why can't our toilet paper be like the Jones's daddy?" Imagine the possiblities. Jimmy knows what's happening. Most anyone in their right minds will know that nothing can be judged by its outward appearance. A satirical poke at the subject is fine, but a serious look at the matter is also needed. The actual piece of paper, whether it be a diploma or a sheet of toilet paper, means nothing. Its what's behind it that counts. If you wish to disillusion yourself by thinking that you're special because you have a diploma hanging on your wall, then go ahead. Academic mediocrity results when people allow an, insignificant label to carry on their lives for them. A million years of studying at Penn State will be worthless unless you get off your asses and start acting like human beings. Why must we rip-off our technology? Instead of building bombs, let's build worlds--where every creature can live in comfort and happiness. How about using your diploma for a goal like that! Make that piece of paper represent years of productive creativity, whether it be in math or music. Too many of you mediocre, apathetic bastards [students, faculty, and administration] are just getting in the way. Let one wart go unattended, and a million more pop up. Capitol Campus needs more than "Preparation H" to solve its problems. If we all put some genuine concern into what we're doing here, then those diplomas, hanging on countless walls, and bearing endless degrees, will mean just one hell of a lot more. JIMMY OLSON DOESN'T MISS A TRICK Record To Make Love By [Earth News]--Syntonic Re search, maker of environ mental records, is about to release a nevr long-player which the company describes as the "perfect sound for lovemaking." The record is called "The Ultimate Heart beat" and features the sound of a woman's pulsating heart for 20 minutes. The firm says a woman's heart was used becuase it "works best...it's slower than a man's." JANUARY 31, 1975 By Jimmy Olson • SHREWD BUSINESSMEN Advertise in the C.C.READER For information, contact Ken Hession 787-1663 or 944-5814 Jim Bollinger 233-8011