PAGE FIVE
L.ilith Continued from page 4
what was almost pity as I gazed upon her. Was this my Lilith? The
two years that had passed since I'd seen her hardly seemed suf
ficient a duration to have altered her so. Her singular yet peaceful
beauty was enshrouded in a pallor comparable only to the coun
tenance of Cerberic below; the fluid fullness of her body was gone,
giving way to a gaunt elegance made more obvious by her hair
which hung in ebony tangles to the small of her back; her deep,
black eyes, underhung with bluish shadows, gleamed furiously
with some inner fire. Seeing her so changed I was at once confused
and left at a loss for words, but as the desperate horror at seeing
my loved one so ravaged deepened, I found my voice. I told her
how my love for her had kept me searching for two years and bade
her to come away with me from that crumbling antiquary that
night to rebegin our lives.
"I can not go," said she. "I am imprisoned here by phantoms
and forces that are at once invisible to me and eye-filling to the
point I can see nothing else. This place is filled with vast
darknesses that groan and writhe about me, and until I am
assimilated by them or cast them away, I can not go."
I begged her to reconsider, assuring her that this gloom would
leave her as she left the house, but she refused asking me to stay at
the house until she felt that she had defeated the darkness that
tugged at her like death. So it was that I came to living at that
bleak and time sickened manse. Each day from then on I went up
to her room at dusk, which was•the time she awoke, and asked her
to leave with me, and each day said "No - wait another day," and
then I would leave her alone until the next evening. Eventually, I
became acquainted with the twelve other people living in the
house; one of these, who was called Cecil and lived in one of the
attics, was the local underground dealer in illegal and mysterious
drugs; he informed me of the store of marijuana, hashish, and
opium that was kept in the kitchen of the rambling structure, and
told me how to use them, and invited me to do so whenever the
urge struck me.
After a week she was still asking for another day, and that week
divided and reproduced itself, s° after awhile I came to take
Cecil's offer and began to experiment with the drugs to help pass
the time. As the days wore on, the melancholy gloom that per
vaded the house seemed to become less oppressive, or perhaps it is
because I had begun to accept this dreariness as normalcy, or that
the drugs I was using regularly by then, were toning down horror
and desperate revelation that surrounded me; I can't say for
certain. Many of my thoughts and observations from this time are
clouded or have become confused with happenings more recent
and concrete. During the day, I was usually alone because
everyone else living there, except for Cecil, slept during the
daylight hours, confining their waking time to darkness. Cecil was
not often home, so I spent a great deal of time pacing the drab
halls of the manse, staring at the sleeping Lilith, and cultivating
long meditations while under the spell of opium or hashish. After
two weeks of this, however, loneliness drove me to altering my
hours to match those of my associates. Now, more often, I was
aware of the dark furry beings that stayed behind me, sometimes,
while ( in? deep meditation, they would run directly before my field
of vision.
When I went to Lilith's side in the evenings, she was always in a
drugged state and rarely said more than just a few words to me,
there were times when I couldn't find her at all, in times like these
I considered leaving without her, but my love for her remained
strong even though her love for me seemed to have weakened.
Sometimes, after smoking opium, I sank into states similar to
those experienced by catatonics; I was engulfed by a mood of
parapysis and sat without moving, my eyes remaining open, my
mind aware, for several hours. I was taken up thusly one night
when I spied a mouse peek out of a crack in the wall. I was
fascinated; this was the first normal living creature I had seen
since entering the house four weeks before. I marveled at its
dowdy fur, and gloried in its clearly glistening eyes. After a few
moments, the tiny creature ventured out into the open where I
could see it clearly. Pallas had never worn a prettier visage than
that rodent. It was only in the room a moment when I heard a wild
scraping at my shoulder, and immediately a dark Orpheus with
long tangled hair and deep yellow eyes flew through the air at the
mouse. Small, taloned claws gripped and held the rodent. There
was a squeak of dismay ending in a choke as the Thing snatched
the mouse into another room.
Presently, sounds of ripping, tearing, and sucking came to my
ears. I was sickened to the heart with this display, and filled with
terror. Aided by the energy of fear, I arose from my position and
staggered up the stairs to Lilith's room, determined to take her
immediately from that place. Her room was empty; she had once
again gone roaming where I could not find her. I sank down on her
mattress in despair and filled with the terror of what might
happen to Lilith, and indeed, myself, if we should stay in those
quarters where evil, decay, and death dwelt on the air like an
opiate mist.
I wanted to see her -- drag her away if need be -- but my renewed
searching was totally in vain. No one had seen her for days.
It has been rumored that the Great Pumpkin will arrive in this corn
patch outside of Middletown on Halloween night. Only Charlie Brown
knows for sure.
C.C. READER
The next evening, she was again missing, and my worries for
her soared until I thought my desperation would drive me insane. I
paced the entire night away, not speaking to anyone, pausing only
once when there was a scratching at the door.
Nervously, I went to see what it was, opening the door with
apprehension. Outside, it was raining, and some stray dog had
huddled into our archway for protection; it was he who made the
noise. Not thinking of the dark things with yellow eyes, I let the
mongrel in, and when I did remember them, I could not find the
dog, although I searched everywhere.
I slept fitfully the next day; nightmares full of deathly white
women and dark sucking things that attached themselves to my
body for nourishment filled my sleep. At about noon, I awoke
abruptly and rose to my feet. The drugs that had helped to quaff
my frantic mind the night before had deserted me, leaving only
the somber reality of the decaying house in dead Ankleton to greet
my eyes. There was no one about, and, after deliberating with
myself for a moment, I decided to step outside. It had been weeks
since I last saw the sun, so I opened the door with some an
ticipation. When I looked out, I was struck down by the intense
brightness of the outside world; my body was wracked by a
physical pain wherever the light touched it. I slammed the door
and fell back against the wall, clutching at the wall mirror for
suppoit. When I regained myself, I opened my eyes and looked
into the mirror. The pallor of the face that stared back at me was
comparable only to the ghastly complexion of Cerberic that had
so sickingly impressed me upon my arrival. I was filled with
despair, terror, desperation; I suddenly realised what I had been
doing to myself, and that I had allowed Lilith to stay here.
Thinking of her, I ran up to her room to drag her away, if
necessary. I climbed the stairs, ran to her room, but stopped in the
doorway. There, on her mattress, leaning up into a corner, sat my
beloved Lilith.
Her eyes, once dark - now deep yellow, stared senselessly up to
the ceiling, her transparent flesh displayed a grisly chaos of
seething, throbbing, veins. In her lap lay the dog I had let in the
night before. Lilith's hands gropped inside the animal where she
had ripped open the flesh of its stomach; tiny licking and sucking
sounds came from her fingers as her mouth quivered in insane
delight. Just then, the hound, which was still living, gave a dismal
moan of agony that made Lilith shiver with ecstacy.
Whether or not I screamed at that instant I do not know; all I am
certain of is that I fled that house immediately with my mind
reeling and shredding itself with the memory of what my Lilith
had become. I have never returned to Ankleton or to that house
where Lilith dwelt, and I don't know what has happened to her
since, but I pray with all the fervor I can command that she sleeps,
and that her sleep will be lasting, and be so deep.
Agnes Greer), who left Capitol for a position at University of
Delawars enjoys farewell cake and gift.
VOTE OCTOBER 31,
THURSDAY
For junior members to the
Student Government
Association. If you don't, that's
your problem. So don't holler if
something goes on that you
don't like. VOTE
- ** , ** 4 %
OCTOBER 25, 1974
Women
And
Drugs
by Barbara Shaw
"Women and Prescribed
Drugs" was the topic of
discussion at the Forum
Thursday afternoon, • October
17, 1974 at Penn State's Capitol
Campus. The panel discussion
and question period was
sponsored by the Capitol
Campus Culture Series.
The guest speakers were:
Bob Lockett, Consumer Affairs
Officer with the Food and Drug
Administration at
Philadelphia; Dr. Cheston
Berlin, Director of the
Pediatric in-patient Services
and the Pediatric Intensive
Care Unit at Hershey Medical
Center and also an Associate
Professor of Pediatrics,
College of Medicine, Penn
State University; Dr. Vincent
G. Stenger, Professor with the
Penn State University College
of Medicine and Chairman of
the Department of Obstetrics
and Gynecology at Hershey
Medical Center.
Mr. Lockett began the
discussion by explaining that
the role of the FDA in
prescription drugs was simply
to regulate. All research and
testing, he said, is performed
by independent laboratories.
Under the Federal Drug and
Cosmetic Act of 1938 and its
1962 amendment, any company
wishing to market a
prescription drug must prove
to the FDA that the drug is both
"safe" and "effective,"
reported Lockett. He said that
as few as 40 consumer com
plaints about a single sub
stance has caused the FDA to
study and subsequently
remove it from the market.
Speaking about oral con
traceptives and fertility drugs,
Dr. Stenger noted that there
are risks and side effects for
both. He said however, that the
physician, taking into con
sideration the complete
medical history of a patient
must weigh the risk factors
carefully against other in
dications and decide the best
course of action. Sometimes
the risks taken in using a
medication are heavily out
weighed by the risks of non
treatment.
Dr. Berlin spoke of the
possible effects drugs may
have on offspring, noting
Thalidomide, DES and
radioactivity caused by the
bombings of Hiroshima and
Nagasaki. As in the case of the
radioactivity, he pointed out
that it may take generations to
discover the effects. He listed
three manifestations of
congenital disorder related to
drugs: obvious physical
anomalies, more subtle
physical problems and
behavioral changes.
INTERESTED IN USED
BOOKS NEXT SEMESTER?
There are a lot of students
who feel there is a need for a
used bookstore sale at the
campus. In order for this to
become a reality, we have to
have some students who will
spend some time and effort to
make this happen. If you are
interested in helping yourself
and other students on Campus,
please stop by the S.G.A. of
fices at WllO where other in
formation is available. Ask for
Mike McAllister.