April 25,1974
The Society For The Study Of Streaking
A satirical editorial of American
commissions by Bill Hirschman,
Jr.
The origin of streaking has
been taken by the American
public wih a grain of salt. People
who care for America are joining
S-quad.
S quad is the media’s subtitle
for “The Society for the Study of
Streaking and Streakers.” Or
ganizer’s of S-quad are proud to
note their ingenuity. “One can
readily see the space S-quad
saves over The Society for the
Study of Streaking and Streak
ers,” said one of its proponents.
Quad, as we’ve been taught in
American schools means four.
There are four S’s in the
commission’s formal title, hence,
S-quad. The subtitle is also a
shrewd pun on another American
institution squad-intrinsically
RITE’S OF SPRING
The Second Annual Rites of Spring will
be held Sunday, May 5, in Peoples Park,
Meade Heights.
The purpose of Rites of Spring is to
bring together the campus community:
dorms, heights and commuters. It consists
of a free picnic with box lunches fur
nished by the Meade Heights Board of
Governors and entertainment by interested
students.
Activities planned include various games
such as a three-legged race, sack races
and the like. Prizes will be awarded to
the winners.
A good time
think Spring and
NEEDED
Talented Individuals
Share your talent with others
Your group! Or just you!
At The
RITE’S OF SPRING
May sth
For further information Contact:
Rich 944-0158
948 A Kirtland Avenue
meaning an organization to study
something.
S-quad is organized to attain a
fuller analytic understanding of
why streaking is and why
streakers streak. These are the
two main goals of S-quad. It is
good American to organize a
commission to study where our
society is and why it is going
there.
Of the different types of people
volunteering for S-quad’s call to
duty, psychologists and psychi
atrists appear to be the most
numerous and impressive. They
are most numerous because they
find a large psychological force
behind streaking. They are most
impressive because we all know
these people have paid much
money to attain their positions.
Although S-quad is not long
established, papers have been
filled in order to receive a
Federal Study Grant. But the
members of S-quad are so over
zealous that they have already
come up with a few theories of
why streaking is and why
streakers streak.
The psychologists and psychi
atrists have come up with the
“Mass Depression Theory.” They
feel there is a full blown
depression in this country.
Reasons for this are: Because
people have learned the Vietnam
war is not over, that infantry
men and bomb button pushers
have been retitled advisors.
Things as Watergate and the
Energy-so-called crisis have all
added to thoughtful American
doubts about the people in
control of America.
Hence, if society is psychologi
cally oppressive the analytic
interpretation calls for imme
diate fun and satisfaction rather
than long term means of
business. So people are shedding
their clothing and running. Here
too, is another psychological
attribution. Running. These ed
ucated men see running
is in store for all,
CELEBRATE THYSELF.
WANTED
PEOPLES PARK
C, C. READER
And St l eakers
streakers inadvertently running
from problems surrounding them
an obvious flee from reality.
Watergate and energy is Amer
ican made reality.
Other people who have joined
S-quad are mothers and fathers
who have doubts about their
children and ask themselves
“Where did we go wrong?” They
want to gain a fuller under
standing so they can tell their
children how to properly raise
their children.
Politicians, ministers, priests
and police have also volunteered
their off duty time to help set
guidelines for the people who are
obviously lacking ethics and
morals. Some of these politi
cians, ministers, priests and
police were advisors to the
Senate Watergate Committee to
help set guidelines to people who
were obviously lacing ethics and
morals.
Rumor has it that a certain
Mr. Rebozo is leasing the
building S-quad is operating out
of, but I can’t find the lease.
Sociologists in the committee
are askine other questions. They
ask: Why do more males streak
than females? Why are more
whites streaking than blacks?
Social psychologists are look
ing for a Freudian concept by
wondering if streakers have
inferiority complexes. Are
physical appendages of streak
ers smaller than non streakers?
The concept behind this is if the
analysts find they are, there will
be a direct correlation between
having fun with one’s body and
smaller than par appendages.
The long term plans for S-quad
call for lectures at V.F.W.
Conventions, baseball games,
high school assemblies and so on.
American’s have a way of getting
pertinent news to people inter
ested in pertinent news.
S-quad may eventually replace
sex education in high schools and
public gathering places.
'Some other of the commis
sion’s plans are to run weekend
bus trips to Disney World,
charter flights to Sweden for
world conventions. They will
probably tour the chocolate
factory in Hershey, Pennsylvania*
If S-quad is to remain an
American institution of vast
social movement to understand
another social movement, it is
necessary to concerned Ameri
cans to show their concern.
Regional offices will need to
communicate with other regional
offices. Leaflets and fliers will be
dropped from revised B-52
bombers and helicopters.
There will be public service
announcements on television and
radio so all Americans can learn
of this Commission. Newspaper
ads will have pre-addressed
blanks to send to the main
headquarters so people who are
not all that concerned in the
function of S-quad can show their
concern.
American’s can be proud there
is an organization. As are many
organizations, to tell us where
we are and why we are going
there. This is one of the off
shoots of the scientific method of
inquiry Americans must and
have shown to keep progress
alive, especially concerned A
merica’s progress.
V V V
Are you sensitive? Warm and
friendly? Do you have a desire to
help your fellow man?
Then get involved with Bill at
9258 Flickinger before he goes over
the line. Maybe you will be able to
say, “I helped Bill become a warm,
loving man once again.”
The Pursuit of Happiness
Editor’s Note: Last week,
through some unfortunate
mishap, the following article was
printed without its conclusion.
This week, however, it appears
in its entirety.
Ross Dieffenbacher
We Hold these Truths to
be self-evident, that all Men
are created equal, that they
are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalien
able Rights, that among
these are Life, Liberty, and
the Pursuit of Happiness—
That to secure these Rights,
Governments are instituted
among Men, deriving their
just Powers from the Con
sent of the Governed, that
whenever any Form of Gov
ernment becomes destructive
of these Ends, it is the
Right of the People to alter
or to abolish it, and to
institute new Government,
laying its Foundation on such
principles, and organizing its
Powers in such Form, as to
them shall seem most likely
to effect their Safety and
Happiness.
Lebanon Valley College
Spring Arts Festival
A Spring Arts
and 28 on the campus of Lebanon Valley College.
A variety of activities are scheduled for the weekend.
These include a juried arts and crafts show, artists-in
action program, an outdoor crafts sale, a film festival
and a Black arts festival.
A highlight of the festival will be a Moog synthe
sizer concert on April 26 at 8:00 p.m. Later that
evening Bluegrass music will be featured in concert at
9:00 p.m.
Jazz will be featured on Saturday, April 27 at 5:00
p.m. with the NEW JAZZ QUARTET. Also scheduled
during the festival are the LEBANON VALLEY COLLEGE
JAZZ BAND and THE SUSQUEHANNA JAZZ BAND.
Movie buffs have a variety of films to choose from
the film festivals. Charlie Chaplin films will be shown
Friday, April 26 at 8:00 p.m. POTEMPKIN, a film
classic will be featured at 9:00 p.m. the same evening
with a panel discussion following the film at 10:30.
SHIP OF FOOLS starring the late Michael Dunn will be
shown Saturday, April 27. TITICUT FOLLIES, a graphic
documentary chronicling the conditions of mental insti
tutions will be shown Sunday, April 28.
Further details will be publicized through The Hot
Lion and programs will be available at the Roundtable
by Thursday, April 25. For any further information,
contact Lebanon Valley College at 717-867-3561.
The Spring Arts Festival is sponsored jointly by
grants from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Council
on the Arts, The National Endowment for the Arts, and
Lebanon Valley College.
The following is a tentative list of times and events scheduled for
the Lebanon Valley College Spring Arts Festival April 26 - 28.
FRIDAY, APRIL 26
Moog Snythesizer Workshop
Folk Singer, Jane Garlock
Moog Synthesizer Concert
Blue Grass Concert
SATURDAY, APRIL 27
Lebanon V.C. Jazz Band
Paul Clemmens-Congo Drums
Lincoln Univ. Dance Troup
New Jazz Quartet
Don Judy, Folk Singer
Paul Isles, Rock Group
S.C.L.C. Freedom Choir
Apple Road, Rock Group
SUNDAY, ARPIL 28
Woodwin Quintet
Susquehanna Jazz Band
JoAnne Pacinelli, Folk Singer
These are but a few of the events scheduled for the Arts Festival.
There will be many workshops that will be going on throughout the
weekend. These include pottery, weaving, painting, woodcarving and
macrame. A juried Arts and Crafts show and a Photography exhibit
will be open throughout the Festival in the College Center.
Page 3
Would people place their
signatures, address and cur
rent date under the above
statements was the object of
a recent survey by Dr.
Susskind’s So. Sc. 401 class.
Members of the class ap
proached 176 individuals ask
ing them to sign the petition
explaining that it was a
class project. The 176 indi
viduals were from Capitol
Campus, H.A.C.C., downtown
Harrisburg, Dickinson Law
School and various other
places.
Of the 176 individuals 115
chose to sign while 61 re
fused. Some to the reasons
for the refusals are as
follows:
“No I can’t sign anything,
what is it?”
“No I don’t believe in it.”
"I won’t sign because of the
alter or abolish statement.”
“I don’t sign anything.”
“I’m afraid I’ll lose my
pension.”
“It must be to impeach Nixon.”
Only 45 of the 176 individuals
knew exactly what they were
signing. For the one or two
readers who may not know
where the statment is from, it’s
from the Declaration of Indepen
dence.
Festival
be held April
1 - 2:30 p.m
5 - 5:30
8 - 10 p.m.
9:30 p.m.
11:30 a.m.
1 - 2:30 p.m.
4 - 5:30 p.m.
5:00 p.m.
6:00 p.m.
8:00 p.m.
8:00 p.m.
9:30 p.m.
1 - 2:00 p.m.
1 - 2:00 p.m.
1 - 2:00 p.m.
LOCATION
Chapel
White Ash Stage
Chapel
White Ash Stage
White Ash Stage
White Ash Stage
Gym
White Ash Stage
College Center
Gym
Chapel
Gym
College Center
Gym
White Ash Stage