Newspaper Page Text
by Ray Klein
The voice on the other end of
the telephone pleaded, "We need
you." I responded, "You gotta
be kidding." Not wanting to shy
away from responsibility I said,
"I need more time to think it
over." "There isn't any more
time, we need your answer." I
accepted the challenge.
Realizing that there had been
better than twenty years since I
was last on a court, I sent for
help. Jabbar, said I lost my cool.
Clyde indicated it would be
more profitable to sell cold beer.
Russell invited me to make TV
commercials. Undaunted, I
called the Hershey Medical
Center and asked them to
prepare a suite in the Intensive
Time was growing short, and
essential equipment had to be
gathered; bandages, liniment,
adhesive tape, and a bible. As I
proceeded to the arena thinking
of the glory of the NCAA and
NIT, of Munich and Mexico
City, of the Forum, and the
Garden, my blood gurgled - or
was it an early warning sign.
Entering the arena, I was greeted
with a tumultous roar. I thought
they had recognized talent!
Cheers were for the team on the
floor. With reckless
abandonment, I headed right for
the locker room only to find
that I had walked into the wrong
facility. Retracing my steps and
still undaunted, I waited for the
other gladiators to arrive. We
suited up, it was obvious that
Uncle Sam didn't want us!
We were to play 8 minute
quarters. It takes four minutes
for us to walk from one end of
the court and 4 1 / 2 minutes to
return. We had to make every
play count. Telegrams began to
pour in. A typical message read -
"Do you have congressional
approval?" Attempts were made
to cancel the game. We learned
later this was because the
National Anthem was not to be
played. The time had come for
our initial strategy meeting. One
faculty member said he would
score 8 points. Another
described his desire to succeed in
the center position. Looking
over the opposition - I
announced to my colleagues that
my goal was to survive.
As the game progressed, I hit
the backboard. The referee
refused to allow one point for
this accomplishment. I hit the
rim, and again the request was
not allowed. I took up my
position in the center of the
court. It's a great place to watch
a game. Back and forth and back
and forth - blood, sweat and
17a £ Derick's
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Just Wonderful Hair Spray 13 oz.
ns of a
prayers. A minute 35 seconds to
go. The three fans in the stands
went berserk. The scoreboard
read 34 - all. It was time for
another strategy meeting. "Let's
get the ball, foul the players -
get the ball." The opposition
came forward. I lunged, I
missed, we lost!
They gave me the game ball.
At first I thought it was for
being selected MVP. Later, I
learned it was the only source of
concentrated oxygen available.
When I arrived home, there was
a telegram from the NBA,
"Congratulations! Enclosed is a
bonus check, please maintain
your amateur standing." From
the White House - "TV black-out
ban will continue. Sincerely,"
With my amateur standing
still intact, there would be hope
for Montreal. Tomorrow is
another game. I wonder if the
scorekeeper will trade 10 points
for an A?
Editor's Note: The faculty
team has played constant
ball this year and have yet
to win. Professor Klein's
scoring average is currently
RESULTS TO DATE:
X G.I. "B"
X G.l. "A"
Heads for Hemp
X G.I. "B"
Meeting are scheduled for the above clubs for Monday, March 5,
1973 as follows:
Tennis - 5:30 p.m. - Recreation/Athletics Building
Soccer - 6:00 p.m. - Recreation/Athletics Building
Golf - 6:30 p.m. - Recreation/Athletics Building
All persons who have signed the rosters please plan to attend;
also, anyone interested in any of these sports who has not as yet
signed-up should try to be present.
Anyone interested in baseball, call Barry Deacon or Steve
Konsowitz at 944-0205. Practice is scheduled to start February 27.
The schedule is posted on the bulletin board in the
The First Annual Capitol Campus Invitational Bowling
Tournament will be held at the Middletown Lanes on Saturday,
March 31 from 12:00 noon to 6:00 p.m.
Awards will be given for Ist, 2nd and 3rd Place Team Bowling;
Ist and 2nd Place Team Bowling, Individual Awards; Ist, 2nd, 3rd,
4th sth Place Awards for Singles.
Play-offs begin March 5 at 8:00 p.m. between 2nd and 3rd place
teams in Division "A". At 9:00 p.m. it will be 2nd and 3rd place
teams in Division "B". March 6 at 8:00 p.m. - Ist place team in
Division "A" will play Ist place team in Division "B".
March 7 & 8 at 7:00 p.m. - these 2 teams will play the best of 3
games for the Champion.
Hours for use are Btoo a.m. to 5:00 p.m., Monday thru Friday.
The whirlpool is not only useful for sprain and strain injuries--it is a
very effective method of relaxing from gension during exam periods
or just the regular every day stress and strain.
BOWLING LEAGUE RESULTS - Wednesday, February 21
1. X G.l.s
2. F. 0.8.0.
3. No Names
4. Last Laugh
6. Pin Heads
11. Crazy J's
GOLF - TENNIS - SOCCER
INTRAMURAL BASKETBALL PLAY-OFFS
ROYAL JEWEL Box
All Electronics, Luggage, Cufflinks 1/3 Off thru March 22, 1973
Also - Receive Free Jar of Jewelry Cleaner.
Rich, luxurious walnut wood cabinetry
makes this 8-track stereo tape deck as
distinctive in appearance as it is in
performance. The versatile control
panel allows you to create sound quality
to your individual taste. Come in and
hear it today! (Also see our selection
of 8-track tapes as low as $2.99).
Tom Larkin (Joy) 574
Keith Saylor (F. 0.8.0.) 569
Rick Miller (Them) 559
Larry Lutter (No Names) 540
Dave Pinter (X G.l.s) 523
Stan Escher (Baetzum) 517
Joe Kowal (No Names) 511
Barry Deacon (Them) 510
John Pruzinsky (No Names)sol
Connie Slater (Pin Heads) 433
Tom Larkin (Joy) 220
Keith Saylor (FA.8.0)208-199
Rick Miller (Them) 197-190
Larry Lutter (No Names) 208
Dave Pinter (X G.l.s) 192
Stan Escher (Baetzum) 187
Barry Deacon (Them) 187
John Pruzinsky (No Names)lB7
Lewis Weiss (Spoilers) 186
Connie Slater (Pin Heads) 162
108 Wilson Street
March 1, 1973