Letters
To The Editor
THANK YOU ! !
We would like to thank
everyone for the great success of
OLD TIMES WEEK. We asked
all the members of the Capitol
Campus Community to “get into
it”, and it seems as though
almost everyone did.
But special thanks must be to
certain people who helped us do
the planning and the work, for
without them OLD TIMES
WEEK would have never come
off. First, to Nancy Colnes and
Trish Hollis of the Student
Activities Office and extra
special thanks for everything.
Next to WZAP radio, especially
Chick and Ron, for their help
with the Marathon Dance.
Thanks to the faculty and staff
who helped make Wednesday’s
crazy show a great success, also
to Tom Ogden who did a
dynamite job with his “Old
Time Medicine Show.” Special
thanks must go to Sam
Randazzo and all the others who
helped make Thursday’s “1950
Drugstore Soda Fountain” just
fantastic, and to Mel Haber who
put together the Trivia Contest.
A sincere thank you to
everyone,
Mike and Don
XGf s
Dear Editor,
At the last three keggers that
the XGl’s have sponsored for the
school there have been cases of
theft and vandalism which the
XGFs are being held responsible
for. The cost for repairs and
replacement of damaged
property has cost the fraternity
in excess of $250. If this
continues we will cancel all
future keggars. These events are
for the benefit of all, but there
are a few who would like to
spoil them, so we are asking
forthe support of all who attend
to watch for and report any
incidents of vandalism or theft.
Thank you for your support.
Ralph Bailor
XGI President
POET’S CORNER
Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you hit an elephant
He’d surely sock it to you
There’s a girl named Nancy
Shane
Who’s soft as summer rain
She is sweet as a daisy
And a little bit crazy
It’s for her that I wrote this
refrain.
Staff of the
_ ..... CONTRIBUTORS:
ran 111 Q| a Samantha Bower
UOPIIUIIOI. Gregg Crescenzo
Jane McDonald
Steve Wesley
COPYEDITOR: Cheryl Boyes
Tom Hagan ° on w, ‘
MANAGING EDITOR: !° m “ ack
Lee Nell Steve Rosenzweig
Michael Collins
Associate Editors:
MikeWeMiver PHOTOGRAPHERS:
Cliff Balson
Business Manager; Charlie Zitter
John Wolford
by Joseph R. O’Driscoll
Three weeks ago, a scathing
and brutal attack against the
person of Mr. Paul was delivered
in this paper. This insalubrious
presentation heralded the birth
of yellow journalism and
muckraking here at Capitol
Campus and flagrantly displayed
an audacious and haughty
manifestation of the abuse of
freedom of the press. The author
of that shocking and pernicious
assault is obviously a cad and a
scoundrel. Without question, he
is a recalcitrant knave who has
illustrated through his literary
roguery that he is without
gentlemanly instincts. What type
of man is this that possesses such
cunning and guile that he would
dare defile the character of Mr.
Paul who has solemnly sworn to
withhold the law and see that
justice is done in here on
campus.
I also once questioned Mr.
Paul’s enforcementive,
adjudicative and penological
procedures, but after being
personally involved in a ghastly
crime which Mr. Paul personally
detected and adjudicated, I have
expelled my initial and falacious
perception of this man.
Following is the account of my
transgression of the law.
It was five o’clock in the
afternoon and the gloom of
night had begun to extend its
eerie mantle over the campus. I
was driving from the ftntry
Pride with my roommate, the
notorious Shady Jack, to our
Bandits’ Roost in Meade Heights
when without malice or
derring-do the crime was
committed. As I pulled up in
front of our den of iniquity, I
was struck insensible by a
constellation of flashing lights
which zoomed by us at an
undetermined velocity and came
to rest in front of my car with
unprecedented abruptness.
Several seconds elapsed before I
would regain my cognitive
abilities. I was immediately filled
with unbridled terror and I
feared for my life. Being
ignorant of our disposition and
possessing an inquisitive mind, I
shouted to Shady Jack, in a
voice of such ungoverned
volume that it was a trial to its
auditor, “What treachery lurks
here!” Shady Jack, however, was
unable to provide me with an
intelligible retort because he was
still somewhat insensible.
Within a matter of seconds a
fearsome beast alighted from the
well illuminated craft and began
to approach my car. Shady Jack
and I sat mute and immobile
with dread and apprehension.
Because of the terror that
ravaged our bodies our higher
faculties began to atrophy and
A MIGHTY FORTRESS IS OUR MR. PAUL
our sense of sight failed us
completely. However as the
beast came within striking
distance our perceptive
mechanisms rallied and by our
sense of smell we correctly
identified the alien as Mr. Paul.
At once our entire bodies
were enveloped in relief and
rapture which commenced in
our toe nails and travelled
through our intestinal flora and
right up to our olfactory organ.
Quickly our minds dispersed the
qualities lanquor and torpidity
which had been induced by the
overwhelming terror which had
surrounded Mr. Paul’s grandiose
and cataclysmic arrival. We were
safe in the knowledge that this
unknown predator was not a
godless entity from another
planet who had come to spread
carnage and bloodshed through
the campus. However with the
advent of our relief came a
feeling of wonderment. Why had
Mr. Paul stopped us? What
perfidious performance had we
perpetrated? Had we
unknowingly performed some
act of piracy or pillage? Had we
thoughtlessly committed an
inpropriety against the laws of
God or man. Into what phylum
of crime did our violation fall?
The next thing I knew, I was
standing in the street beholding
Mi;. Ibul’s self-righteous and
somewhat crusty countenance.
Mr. Paul, I might add, sought to
inteiject an extra element of
suspense into the proceedings by
foregoing to officially reveal his
identity. With an air of great
importance and supreme
authority Mr. Paul enjoined me
to strip from myself my shield
of anonymity and reveal my
identity. With clarity and
dispatch I stated that I was
Joseph Richard O’Driscoll,
master criminal, defiler of
goodness and virtue, the
ultimate travesty of absolute
wickedness. Without further ado
I courteously invited Mr. Paul to
examine my red horns and
pointed tail which serves as the
hallmark of my identity in the
occidental world. Mr. Paul
tastefully declined my
invitation.
After dispensing with these
social amenities, Mr. Paul
informed me of my iniquity. I
was traveling at 35 mph in a 20
mph zone. This concise
innuendo, this depreciatory
allusion, this horrid insinuation
struck me insensible for the
second time that day. With this
allegation in mind, I began
to wonder how Mr. Paul was
able to detect my speed and
come up with the alleged speed
of thirty five. I was shocked,
could I have been moving with
such licentious swiftness? Are
Mr. Paul’s eyeballs equipped
with speed calibrators? Cravenly
concealed within the depths of
his navel is there a radar
installation? Is his car
speedometer calibrated without
error and certified, just like on
real police cars. Did he follow
me the appropriate distance?
Who knows? Mr. Paul knows but
he refrained from divulging this
vital secret to me the criminal.
Many things were going
through my head at this time.
The campus was inundated with
rumors that Mr. Paul was a real
policeman. This would mean
that he wore the badge of
authority and that he would be
commissioned to shelter the
innocent and arrest (or ticket)
transgressors. I decided to play it
safe and began and ended my
every response with alternating
titles such as your royal highness
and your majestic
wonderfuiness. I also rendered
my lips to his gluteus maximus.
Mr. Paul then demanded my
license and owner’s card and so
armed with these legal
documents he engaged in an
unrevealing examiniation of the
license plate and registration. At
this point I was going to suggest
that we rip down the engine
with special emphasis on the
valve cover to uncover any
booty or contraband that I may
have been transporting. However
before I could suggest this to
him, he had vanished back into
his car and was busy filling out
countless forms which would
seal my fate. I was so nervous, I
almost swooned right there in
the middle of Kirtland Avenue.
So fearful was I of the bitter
consequences of my dastardly
deed, I was plagued with
fearsome thought. Would they
reopen the Nuerenburg trials and
adjudicate the crime there?
Would they stick bamboo splints
under my fingernails? Would
they cut off my eyelids? Would I
be sentenced to another year
here at Capitol Campus? What
price would justice demand of
me? So tortured of soul was I at
this time, I prayed to my patron
saint for comfort and guidance.
The guidance and comfort did
not come however at this exact
moment I became painfully
aware of an internal factor that
WHIT’S HAPPENIN' IT CAPITOL
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 17 th
At 6:00 pan., the President’s
Council will meet in the Student
Center. In the past, there has
been a lack of interest on the
part of clubs and organizations
in attending these meetings. If
each group sends at least one
representative to the meeting,
maybe something interesting
and/or helpful will come out of
it.
At 7:30 pan. there will be a
lecture by Dr. Schubel in the
Auditorium on “Man, Pollution
and Estuary.”
SATURDAY, FEB. 19th
Not much happening this
weekend on campus, but keep
an ear towards Harrisburg
Defense Committee activities.
Also, as far as the Night Spots
to go to in the area are
concerned, there’s the
Meadowbrook and Martini’s (If
you’re going to drink, chink
before you go because the prices
are high.)
Then, there’s always your
own thing.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 21st
Joanna Featherstone at 2:00
pjn. in the Gallery Lounge, and
at 8:00 p.m. in the Sudent
Center.
The regular S.G.A. Meeting is
at 6:30 p.m. in Room 216.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22nd
From 11 a.m. ’till 3:30 p.m.,
you can register to vote in the
Spring Primaries. The Dauphin
County Registrar will be in the
Venderville area. USE YOUR
POWER - REGISTER TO
VOTE!!!
At 8:00 p.m., the Cinema
Workshop will present “The
Heart Is A Lonely Hunter.*’
Admission will be $.75, or $.35
with an Activities Card.
was disrupting my homeostatic
tranquility. The contents of my
blatter had reached an
inordinate volume and I was
unable to tear myself away from
the scene of the crime so as to
relieve my discomfort. I
seriously entertained the
thought of relieving myself upon
Mr. Paul’s armored roadster but
since I did not have a current
parking permit pasted on my
appendage I feared that this
action would only net me
another ticket. Without haste I
quickly abandoned the entire
line of thought.
A compact eternity transpired
before Mr. Paul emerged from
his play cop car. When he did
emerge from the car he walked
briskly over to me and handed
me a piece of paper. Alas and
alack, I had been given a
reprieve. I had been handed a
warning. Thus Mr. Paul satisfied
with my squirming sped off to
detect and adjudicate new and
different crimes.
After he had departed, I
carefully examined the citation
and became aware of a most
peculiar fact. I don’t know if it
is a testimony to his eyesight or
to his intelligence but while
sitting in his well lit car and with
my driver’s license in his hand he
had managed to misspell my
name while copying it on the
warning. Well, you can’t win
them all, can you Mr. Paul?
by Don Lewis
WEDNESDAY, FEB. 23rd
At the New Birth Coffee
House (946 A Kirtland Ave.)
there will be a Faculty Rap with
Dr. Jacob Susskind. The time is
8:00 p.m.
Well, there are a few things
happening at Capitol this week.
Now a few words on what
happened at Capitol last week.
On Tuesday, February 2nd,
Rio Clemente came to Capitol.
Most events here may warrant
comments, but I feel that Rio
Clemente and all the people
associated with him deserve all
the praise everyone can give.
First of all, being with Rio’s
party most of the day, I found
that these are really great
people. There was nothing fake,
no conceit or contempt, just
genuine friendliness and warmth.
Rio Clemente was simply
unbelievable at the piano. At
times his hands became only a
blur as he wove sounds,
melodies, tones, harmonies,
emotion, life and love together
into some of the best music I’ve
ever heard.
Jack Six on bass was an extra
attraction for us. He was rated
one of the best bass players in
the world by PLAYBOYS Jazz
Poll. He did things with that bass
that I didn’t know could be
done. Fred Stoll, on the drums,
rounded out the trio with some
very excellent percussion work.
All in all, it was a tremendous
concert. Everyone who heard
the Rio Clemente Trio was well
rewarded. This was proven by
the standing ovation at both the
mini-concert and the evening
concert. Rio Clemente, with a
little luck’, is going all the way to
the top.