FACULTY PROFILE Ralph frey
by Michael Collins
& Michael Nonnemacher
The subject of this week’s
Faculty Profile is Mr. Ralph
Frey, an accounting instructor
here.
Ralph was born in
Washington, D.C. in November
of 1942. He moved to a suburb
of Maryland where he grew up
and attended the University of
Maryland. Frey received his
Bachelor Degree in Business in
1964, and then his Master
Degree in Business in 1966, both
from the University of
Maryland. Later he became a
Certified Public Accountant by
the state of Maryland, where he
has a small public accounting
practice.
Frey came to Penn State one
year ago from the University of
Maryland where he taught for
five years. He came here
primarily because it’s a small
school and he felt that he could
contribute more to a student’s
education here. A firm believer
in student participation, Frey
attempts to instigate student
participation, feeling that they
learn more this way than just by
listening.
To illustrate his point, he told
how he was teaching a class of
“253 students” accounting from
the stage of an auditorium with
a loud speaker and anyone who’s
ever had accounting know’s how
tough it would be to participate,
let alone learn anything.
While on the subject of
comparisons, Mr. Frey was asked
to compare the students of Penn
State to those at Maryland. His
reply was that Penn State is a
more "positive experience”; the
students are “better motivated
to get an education and also
more willing to work at it.” He
by Steve Wesley
& Steve Rosenzweig
Bob Stanley says, “Be an
athletic supporter, be a jock
strap.”
Good news for a
change-unpleasant wastes from
people and animals can be
converted into clean, useful
natural gas. So for you seniors
who don’t have a job, save your
shit.
Then there was the chick who
thought she had soul, but it
turned out to be a baby.
I hear we’re going to have a
lion next year. They’re going to
get him from Alcoholics
Anonymous.
Hbg. VD Ginic is located at
2990 Jefferson Street, Hours are
Tues. 3-5, and Friday, 9-11. So
if you are dripping, drop into
the clinic.
Thanks to “Giicaphonic”
Chic, “Old Weird Harold”, ‘T’
Fred, and “Heavi Duti” for some
fine work at the radio station.
It’s better to be pissed off
than pissed on.
“Cruelty is more cruel when
the pain is prolonged.”
-George Herbert
Did you hear about the
prostitute who couldn’t spell?
She ended up working in a
warehouse.
A pimp is a public relations
man for a public relations girl.
An old general never lays
down on the job-but his privates
usually do.
An auditor is a man who takes
down the sheets, looks at the
figure, makes his entry, and
waits for the monthly report.
A woman who will spring on
an innerspring this spring may
felt that the school is a good size
and able to fill a student
education but regrets that they
don’t have a more adequate
student center to fill the
student’s social needs.
Since the recruiters are
presently on campus, we asked if
he had any advice for students
when they go for an interview.
Frey advises that students be
themselves, honest and sincere;
instead of trying to snow an
interview, since they may sense
it quickly anyway.
Outside of teaching, Mr. Frey
is an advisor to the XGFs, a
social fraternity on campus open
to everyone especially
ex-servicemen, and also an
advisor to the business club. He
is also very active in church
affairs, tending their business
and planning activities.
Mr. Frey, presently living in
Hershey and working toward his
Doctorate at the University of
Maryland. His plans for the
future are to continue teaching
at Penn State and perhaps take a
trip to Europe.
Smilin' Faces
get offspring next spring.
Bachelor’s theory: Wine,
Women and S’Long.
There was an 80-year old man
who tried to rape a 16-year old
gril and was charged with assault
with a dead weapon.
What is the bathtub race?
Frank Dulisse is a
humanitarian.
And don’t forget Old Times
Week.
Has anyone at Capitol
Campus ever received a
University scholarship?
What did you think of the
Free Parking Players on WZAP?
Bob Stanley has many roles as
Athletic Director, so if you see
him kissing ass or making like
God, it’s just part of his job.
Congrats to the Social
Committee, Don Lewis, and
Mike Bauer for setting up Old
Times Week.
Sorry I missed the ceremonial
services for Dr. King.
Understand it was great.
Height of conceit is an ant
crawling up an elephant’s leg
with no rape in mind.
Congrats to the basketball
Bomb Threat At Capitol
by Lee Nell
Last week, on Thursday night,
a freak-out bomb threatened to
destroy freak-in Capitol Campus.
Coming all over the air waves of
WZAP, the bomb semi-exploded
with the sound of breaking glass.
After that, the cast of the Free
Parking Players coughed,
wheezed, winged, mis-read and
yukked their way through a half
hour gig which included what
might have been a morality
play--we’re not sure
yet,-commercials, imitations
and help from Aunt Scabby who
gives advice to everyone with sex
organs.
Brought to the listener by
Come-a-lot Foods and its
subsidiary, Blood Hound,
Incorporated, the Free Parking
Players play was entitled
adapted
from Marvin Zingblatz’s book of
the same title. The play, which
took about 10 minutes to
produce, concerns life in the
comic books and has about
equal value in real life. Included
in the cast of thousands are
Thug, Trippy the test tube kid,
J.A.D., Polly Plexiglass or
See-through Sally, Smith Klein
‘n’ Spanish, and the perpetually
horny Meth It—all children of
Super Heroes.
The story opens when
someone breaks a window,
andthe entire menangerie get
hauled off to the police station.
Presiding officer, J.A.D., then
takes all the statements. If you
think this sounds bad, you’ve
got the general idea. But the
story finally does reach an
exciting conclusion when . . . ?
In addition to all that
excitement, Aunt Scabby offers
some delicious advice to the
team on their victory over
Northeastern Christian,
limerick of the Week:
There once was a guy named
Art,
who had a rectum so tight
he could not fart,
but Art kept trying
until one day he shit himself.
Answer to Nutbuster No. 1:
They knew they were Adam and
Eve because they did not have
any navals.
Answer to Trivia Question
1/13/72: Ralph and Norton
belonged to the Royal Order of
the Racoon.
Answer to last week’s Trivia
Question: Texas Christian
University and Marquette played
in the 1937 Cotton Bowl. TCU
won 16-6. There were no
winners so you all get shipped to
the Adolphus Hotel in Dallas,
Texas by cattle car.
Trivia Question of the Week:
Who played Melvin Cooley in
the old Dick Van Dyke Show?
If you have the answer or
contribution call Steve Wesley at
944-9751.
artt cPMptet
WjFkauF it?
love-worn. Or take the
impressions. Please. Take them
off the air.
We’ve all heard of books or
movies being banned for
including pornography but
having no redeeming social
value. The Free Parking Players
program is already in trouble but
not for obscenity. It’s just that
they have no social value
whatsoever. As for obscenity, if
you can’t understand what
they’re talking about, then it
can’t be morally objectionable.
On the other hand, if you can
understand what they’re saying
(please tell me) then it is funny.
On still another hand, you may
be a pervert and will be
completely turned off or on by
it depending on your own
particular perversion. And on
the final hand, we have four
fingers, a thumb, six ball park
sausages complete with
antennae, and one--count ’em,
one-race track program from
Sarasota Springs where the
annual blivet race is held: all of
which can be pretty
objectionable depending on your
own particular perversion.
And finally, if you’ve never
had your sense of well-being
assaulted, please practice up
before the next Free Parking
Players program. Start by
reading Hitler’s memoirs, taking
six statistics courses at once,
starting a Spiro Agnew
(remember him?) fan club, and
having your body pelted with
dung from at least six large
animals all in one afternoon. If
you can make it through that,
you’ll be ready for the program.
It comes on at 10:00 Thursday
nights over your favorite station
and mine, good old
whatever-it-is. See you then.
Special Topic: Revolution 101
(not a course title as yet)
A Study of Free Schools
If I wanted to use a saw on
campus. ..
Q 1: Could I?
Q 2: Are tools and such
available for students use?
If not, join: The Science and
Society of Independent Studies.
The tools should be offered for
your course. If you don’t need
tools for your course, how about
film and camera equipment, how
about any fuckin’ resources that
are or can be utilized on this
campus. The only thing that is
not supplied: the imagination,
your imagination; be your own
revolutionary, your own
education. Create your own
courses-get a prof to subsidize
you with his background
knowledge of your subject, your
idea.
Here’s the zappper folks
i Final 9 r.M.
(Flash Gordon
jTrip to Mars,
| student center i
i 1
jSaturday 8 P.M.I
I Patti Wicks j
i
| Auditorium ;
! Tuesday
Rio
| Clemente j
j Trio
I 2 P.M.
! Gallery Lounge i
; e P.M. |
1 Auditorium '<
i i
by Michael Chew
PART I
College is a drag with weird
courses and shit, so why not get
into it and make this bullshit
relevant to you, besides getting
that golden goal parchment.
Now that you’re drooling,
which is cool--You should have
understood my first idea: The
Science of Independent Studies
Q 3: How many kinds of
science are there?
equals ‘x’ many courses
On the west shore of
Harrisburg, no Blacks live there;
there’s an unenforced law that
exists that states: No blacks on
the streets after 6PM; if you lived
in Camp Hill and wanted to
adopt a bi-racial baby--you
couldn’t.
Q 4: What course could this
be?
ROYAL
JEWEL
BOX
IN THE OLMSTED PLAZA
Trio