usr WEEK IN THE ffl
Not too much went on in
the FFL last week with rain
cancelling a number of games.
But the big story was Them
beating the Trojans 14-13 in a
toughly fought contest. Chuck
Porter and Joe Hudock had TD’s
for the winners. If Them doesn’t
win it all this year they will
certainly be almost unbeatable
next year with most of their
lettermen returning.
In other games the M&M’s
beat the Gornicks 19-7.
McFadden scored two
touchdowns and Poidence one
for the victors. Lopez had the
only Gornicks tally. The Studs
Blue shut out the Hairy Hogs
28-0, with scores by Rush,
Krumsky, and two by Hall.
The Hairy Hogs then did
the best thing they could do all
year. They forfeited to two of
the top teams in the league, the
XGl’s and A.M.F. The Hairy
INDIVIDUAL OUTSTANDING ATHLETE
Wesley 0
Lopez 1
Hadock 0
Doran 1
Cummings 3
Brown 0
Bomberger 0
Ferranzzo 1
White 2
Mathews 0
Mulfinger 0
(Jshler 1
Kurtz 4
Gold 0
Participations 24
Participants 1 5
Entry Pts. Forfeits Sub Total Place Pts. Total
25 0 25 25 50
25 2 0 225 225
Gorniks
XGI
1 st Kurtz
2nd Cummings
3rd White
4th Ferranzzo
Lopez
Doran
Ushler
Sports
By Steve Rosenzweig
Hogs have thus been thrown out
of the league.
Coming to the end of the
season I see the top five teams
for the playoffs as being XGl’s,
Trojans, A.M.F., Them and the
Green Knights. Fm going all the
way with the Trojans in
predicting them to win the
championship.
If there is a tie for first place
a coin-flip will determine the
bye. A tie for the fifth spot
would cause a playoff. This isn’t
impossible with the Studs Blue
coming on strong and the Green
Knights starting to show their
age.
The first round of the
playoffs will take place on
Monday, November 15. The
second round will be held
Wednesday, November 17 and
the championship game will be
held on Super Sunday,
November 21.
F Bye Part Place Total
0 0 2 0 2
0 0 2 1 3
1 0 0 0 0
0 12 1 3
0 0 2 7 9
0 0 2 0 2
0 0 2 0 2
0 0 2 1 3
0 0 2 4 6
0 0 2 0 2
10 0 0 0
0 0 2 1 3
002 10 12
0 0 2 0 2
HORSESHOES FALL 1971
XGI 100
XGI 75
XGI 50
XGI 25
Gorniks
Gorniks
Gorniks
THE CAPITOLIST
SMILIN' FACES
by Steve Wesley
and Steve Rosenzweig
Dr. Patterson is worried
because his class is beginning to
sit in rows - Let’s not
Americanize everyone, John.
The toilet at 9518 Kirtland
is broken again-stop by and
send your condolences.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And who gives a shit!
A term paper more than 15
pages is inhuman and should be
considered a war crime.
Brain Puzzler: What’s more
difficult? Getting through the
Berlin wall or getting out of the
library?
He is coming!
Teacher Evaluation: 26% of
teachers cancel either Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday or
Thursday classes because a
directive from the
Administration said not to
cancel Friday classes. The
remaining 74% cancel Friday
classes. Three cheers for a strong
Administration.
Who is Sessy Tinglepitz?
Thoreau paid $33.14 for his
lumber.
Dr. Susskind reads “Smilin
Faces”. (This has been a paid
announcement)
Some people eat to live
while others live to eat.
Belated Birthday wishes to
Iris Prager. She is 21, going on?
Joseph Zagurski is no longer
working at a nuclear power
plant. He is getting more on
welfare.
Congrats to Keystone
Society at Main Campus - they
might get a group for next All-U
Day.
The Junior chicks are at it
again - overreacting.
A bottle of wine to our
typist, Sandy Posmoga, for her
efforts.
From our personal Column:
Jane, come home, Tarzan tired
of Cheeta. Father Berrigan -
why?
P.P.VI
Olympic try-outs for the
Cunnilingus team will be held
Friday. Gentlemen, please bring
your own equipment.
Amy, Missy, and Luann were
back. They left again.
Hold your tongue. Now say -
the catsup is on the table.
Phil Wexler never had his
name in the newspaper, now he
does.
Bob Schroth
Hot Line
Even in Disneyland
They have bathrooms.
l//\\!
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||OF ONE PIZZA (small or large) 53
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_P O
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Eat Here or Take Out
mnnnzzi
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23 S. Union St
fcKKWMiinitMMWSW
your head feel? That Southern
Comfort is really wild up here in
the North.
“Try it, you’ll like it” is the
Servomation slogan.
Sam - Where did you get that
car? Or better yet, why?
Flunk now, avoid the rush!
Does anyone really know
what time it is?
Flash!!! First penis
transplant was performed at
Hershey Medical Center. The
patient is excellent and she will
be allowed visitors next week.
Did you hear about the
nymph on campus? Neither did
ECO note: Pittsburg was
seen Sunday for the first time in
over eleven years. The flames
were higher then the smog.
H. Rap Brown is alive and
living in a New York Hospital.
Wanted: F. 8.1. Agents - just
call, J. Edgar already has your
resume.
Be glad when Halloween is
over, so the chicks at C.C. can
take off their costumes.
Rich has a comb fetish.
Congrats to the Junior
Senators on their victory and
best ofluck.
Heard there was a good turn
out for the P. S. football team
when they returned from
Syracuse - people from
Philadelphia came up.
There is an epidemic on
campus that is hitting just the
male population. It’s called
lackanooky. Cheer up fellas. It
only lasts while you’re on
campus.
Is it fair for a Prof to eat
during class time?
Limerick of the Week:
There was a place called
Venderville
Which made many
people very ill,
The hotdogs were green
Good food was not to be
seen
And the next thing you
know it will kill
History’s Scrapbook:
One year ago today,
President Oswald found out
there was a Capitol Campus and
then denied the discovery.
Trivia Question of the Week:
What was the name of
Gillis’ son in the Life of Riley?
Anyone with this week’s
answer, call 944-9710.
Anyone wishing to
contribute to this column
(please) contact Steve at
944-9751 or Steve at 944-9710.
How does
Graffitti
How about Oz?
Yeah, but you’ve got to shit
yellow bricks to make them
work.
When the phone rings
Spell you name,
if you spell it correctly—
answer the phone.
The new
Recreation/Athletics Building
hours have been announced.
They are open from 12:00 Noon
to 9:30 P.M. on Mondays,
Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and
Thursdays, and from 12:00
Noon to 5:00 P.M. on Fridays.
The hours are from 1:00 P.M. to
4:00 P.M. on Saturdays and
Sundays.
The Base Gym is open from
6:00 P.M. to 9:30 P.M. on
Mondays, Tuesdays,
Wednesdays, and Thursdays. It is
closed on Fridays, but open
from 1:00 P.M. to 4:00 P.M.
every Saturday and Sunday.
OFFICIAL
TIMES
Thursday, November 11, 1971
DISCOUNT PIPE SALE
NOW IN PROGRESS
SAVE ON THESE
FAMOUS BRANDS
DR. GRABOW
KAYWOODIE
YELLO-BOLE
MEDICO
Sale ends Nov. 27,1971
We give S & H Green Stamps
REA & DERICK DRUGS
IN THE OLMSTED PLAZA
POETS
CORNER
by Cheryl Boyes
roses are pink
they’ll give you a wink!
if you’ve had as much drink
as fills up the sink
(this poem stinks!)
guess who’s a fink
a rinky dink
and a missing link
wearing a mink
made of zinc
and oil
ah! foiled again!
curse you, pink link!
with your enormous coils
and labrynth ways. ..
a° I
Gladrags!
SHOP SUNDAY
12 to 5
SAVE 10%
On All Purchases
At
12^0
the Finest in Men’s Wear
PANTRY PRIDE
VALUABLE COUPON
NO OTHER
PURCHASE
NECESSARY
PANTRY PRIDE
FACIAL TISSUES
4 BOXOS--591
WITH THIS COUPON
Void after Nov. 17,1971
W liMmM
F ISSEaI 1
I r - I
2 OUAUTY TOO CAN TIM*
| in the Olmsted Plaza