Thuraday, October 21.1971
BESIDE
THE POINT
or-fifty to love
is a very tiring night
by Samantha Bower
I was sitting here in my solitude
and Gregg came in and said
and I said, yeah, people worry
about me catching cold, so I
always get shoes for my
birthday. Take it away, Gregg...
Hey, why do they call them
ashtrays, anyway. They’re really
kinds of dishes and such. I
wonder if they were originally
real trays for ashes.
I was supposed to get a meal
ticket, but I refused it, so I
could eat with my roommates.
But after some of our meals, I’m
thinking of switching.
It would be really neat if they
mixed the sexes in the Heights
houses. Then the girls could
cook and the guys would clean.
It could get very interesting.
A dish for every sink.
A plug for every socket. Sockit!
Whereever.
phone rings I exit and return
Don’t put your feet on my
brand new bedspread that mom
got for me.
It was a present for Christmas
about four years ago. I don’t
think I buy anything. Just wait
for my B-day and Christmas.
Yeah. It was Jerry the Bastard,
Don t let his mother hear you
say that.
Some of the nicest people I
know are phonies.
Sorry about that
Darlene came in.
Speaking of grease, that takes us
back to the dorms.
Can I have an el ropo?
Long enough to provide
satisfaction.
No, you must mean George,
A what?
I didn’t know the styles had
changed. People used to wear
shoes on them.
Back to shoes again
I think you lost me. But then
again you never really had me.
Aw c’mon, it’d be a shoe in.
It would depend on how horny
it would be out that night.
Blowing? Are you getting gross,
Words From
The Other Side
or-Ball For
by Gregg Crescenzo
Man, you gotta whole shitload
of shoes.
I couldn’t even carry all these
shoes in one shitload. I gotta get
another ashtray, cause it’s
ridiculous getting up to use
yours every two seconds.
Why do they call them trays in
the dorms. Are they really for
ashes? Have you eaten in the
dorms lately?
I thought it would be neat eating
with my roommates, but they’re
all guys.
A pail for every mop, I said
emphatically.
A bulb for every fixture.
Where?
(phone rings) Sam exits door
right.
Really, who bought the yellow
one? , v '
That phone call really fucked
things.
Maybe his father was the phone,
Why some of the nicest people I
know are phones.
OOOOOOOooooooo!
Darlene came in. She said—l’ve
been outside breaking in my new
shoes. What do you know about
the Illiad? and I said-It’s the
who’s who of Greece.
Darlene exited stage left.
My, how time flies.
How long a piece:
That’s kind of Hairy, isn’t it?
I know George, and it couldn’t
be George, he’s a transvestite.
Transvestite. I guess it depends
on which hat he had on “it”.
Yeah, and rubbers when it rains.
Whereever it fits.
But my foot wouldn’t fit in your
shoe!
But do you think we need a
shoehorn?
Depends which way the wind’s
Mowin’.
THE CAPITOLIST
SPORT COAT SALE
I Values to $66.00
I All- $29.00
I (selected coats)
I Suits - $49 to $B9
0 Values to $140.00
\De
I tlie Finest In Men’s Wear
SMIUr FHES
by Steve Wesley
and Steve Rosenzweig •
Little Jack Horner sat in a
comer, eating his sister.
Penn State-42, Army-0 Here
Comes de Orange Bowl!
Our unabashed dictionary
defines Mistress as something
that lies between a Mister and a
mattress.
Captain, Captain the men are
revolting. Yeh, and they’re ugly
too.
Congrats to Venderville
Their hotdogs are losing some of
the green coloring.
Ni RG§
Village Dry Cleaning and Laundry |
Olmsted Plaza Rt. 230, Middletown 1
Professional Dry - Cleaning & Pressing f
9 AM to 9 PM
Laundromat Hours
X
I
Sat. 9 AM to 5 PM
Sun.
L
■MTCKX MSWMMCCIMKtteKMSKtKKfIKfKM&MCMJKttCaK!
Jesus Christ walked into a
hotel with a couple of boards
and asked, “Can you put me up
for the night?”
What are the third and fourth
lines of P.S. alma mater?
Congrats to WZAP on their
dance and the XGI on their
Party.
Congrats to Greg Garth for
being awarded the Alcoa
Foundation Scholarship.
ECO Note: Division of
Engineering and Technology at
C.C. have their own
nonpoDuter—an electric car.
Limerick of the Week:
There once was a man
named Glass
Who had balls made out of
brass
When he rubbed them
together he played Stormy
Weather
And lightning shot out of
his ass.
Mon. thru Fri.
Contrary to popular belief,
Mr. Paul is a nice guy.
History’s Scrapbook:
One year ago today, WZAP
was supposed to go on the air.
Unfortunately, they misplaced
their disc jockey and just
recently found him.
Trivia Question of the Week:
What was the name of the
fireman that appeared in Leave
It To Beaver?
Last week’s correct answer
was Mrs. Odetts, who was the
neighbor in My Little Margie.
The correct answer was called in
at 944-9710 by HARVEY
BROWN who wins a free copy
of the CAPITOLIST. You can
pick up your prize in the U.S.
Printing Office.
Remember, anyone wishing to
contribute to this column can
contact Steve Wesley at
944-9751 or Steve Rosenzweig
at 944-9710.
P»ge 3
Returned the same day
if in before noon.
9 AM to 7:30 Pm|
10 AM to 2 PM
SMILE!!!