Thuraday, October 21.1971 BESIDE THE POINT or-fifty to love is a very tiring night by Samantha Bower I was sitting here in my solitude and Gregg came in and said and I said, yeah, people worry about me catching cold, so I always get shoes for my birthday. Take it away, Gregg... Hey, why do they call them ashtrays, anyway. They’re really kinds of dishes and such. I wonder if they were originally real trays for ashes. I was supposed to get a meal ticket, but I refused it, so I could eat with my roommates. But after some of our meals, I’m thinking of switching. It would be really neat if they mixed the sexes in the Heights houses. Then the girls could cook and the guys would clean. It could get very interesting. A dish for every sink. A plug for every socket. Sockit! Whereever. phone rings I exit and return Don’t put your feet on my brand new bedspread that mom got for me. It was a present for Christmas about four years ago. I don’t think I buy anything. Just wait for my B-day and Christmas. Yeah. It was Jerry the Bastard, Don t let his mother hear you say that. Some of the nicest people I know are phonies. Sorry about that Darlene came in. Speaking of grease, that takes us back to the dorms. Can I have an el ropo? Long enough to provide satisfaction. No, you must mean George, A what? I didn’t know the styles had changed. People used to wear shoes on them. Back to shoes again I think you lost me. But then again you never really had me. Aw c’mon, it’d be a shoe in. It would depend on how horny it would be out that night. Blowing? Are you getting gross, Words From The Other Side or-Ball For by Gregg Crescenzo Man, you gotta whole shitload of shoes. I couldn’t even carry all these shoes in one shitload. I gotta get another ashtray, cause it’s ridiculous getting up to use yours every two seconds. Why do they call them trays in the dorms. Are they really for ashes? Have you eaten in the dorms lately? I thought it would be neat eating with my roommates, but they’re all guys. A pail for every mop, I said emphatically. A bulb for every fixture. Where? (phone rings) Sam exits door right. Really, who bought the yellow one? , v ' That phone call really fucked things. Maybe his father was the phone, Why some of the nicest people I know are phones. OOOOOOOooooooo! Darlene came in. She said—l’ve been outside breaking in my new shoes. What do you know about the Illiad? and I said-It’s the who’s who of Greece. Darlene exited stage left. My, how time flies. How long a piece: That’s kind of Hairy, isn’t it? I know George, and it couldn’t be George, he’s a transvestite. Transvestite. I guess it depends on which hat he had on “it”. Yeah, and rubbers when it rains. Whereever it fits. But my foot wouldn’t fit in your shoe! But do you think we need a shoehorn? Depends which way the wind’s Mowin’. THE CAPITOLIST SPORT COAT SALE I Values to $66.00 I All- $29.00 I (selected coats) I Suits - $49 to $B9 0 Values to $140.00 \De I tlie Finest In Men’s Wear SMIUr FHES by Steve Wesley and Steve Rosenzweig • Little Jack Horner sat in a comer, eating his sister. Penn State-42, Army-0 Here Comes de Orange Bowl! Our unabashed dictionary defines Mistress as something that lies between a Mister and a mattress. Captain, Captain the men are revolting. Yeh, and they’re ugly too. Congrats to Venderville Their hotdogs are losing some of the green coloring. Ni RG§ Village Dry Cleaning and Laundry | Olmsted Plaza Rt. 230, Middletown 1 Professional Dry - Cleaning & Pressing f 9 AM to 9 PM Laundromat Hours X I Sat. 9 AM to 5 PM Sun. L ■MTCKX MSWMMCCIMKtteKMSKtKKfIKfKM&MCMJKttCaK! Jesus Christ walked into a hotel with a couple of boards and asked, “Can you put me up for the night?” What are the third and fourth lines of P.S. alma mater? Congrats to WZAP on their dance and the XGI on their Party. Congrats to Greg Garth for being awarded the Alcoa Foundation Scholarship. ECO Note: Division of Engineering and Technology at C.C. have their own nonpoDuter—an electric car. Limerick of the Week: There once was a man named Glass Who had balls made out of brass When he rubbed them together he played Stormy Weather And lightning shot out of his ass. Mon. thru Fri. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Paul is a nice guy. History’s Scrapbook: One year ago today, WZAP was supposed to go on the air. Unfortunately, they misplaced their disc jockey and just recently found him. Trivia Question of the Week: What was the name of the fireman that appeared in Leave It To Beaver? Last week’s correct answer was Mrs. Odetts, who was the neighbor in My Little Margie. The correct answer was called in at 944-9710 by HARVEY BROWN who wins a free copy of the CAPITOLIST. You can pick up your prize in the U.S. Printing Office. Remember, anyone wishing to contribute to this column can contact Steve Wesley at 944-9751 or Steve Rosenzweig at 944-9710. P»ge 3 Returned the same day if in before noon. 9 AM to 7:30 Pm| 10 AM to 2 PM SMILE!!!
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers