the CAPITOLIST
Vol. 5, No. 4
Needless to say, one battle only gives a slight hint to the extent of
the famous Water War of Capitol Campus. (Photo, courtesy of a
U.N. observer.)
Water War
As has been feared for some
weeks by our Capitol Campus
observers, the border dispute
between Meade Heights and the
Dorms erupted last week into a
fierce battle. At about 5:15
DST, what appeared to be a
friendly meeting between the
leaders of the two antagonists
exploded into a battle the likes
of which, according to some
prominent war correspondents,
has not been seen in the western
hemisphere for many years.
Although the disagreement
between the two warring groups
has taken the form of a border
dispute, veteran observers have
indicated that there have been
deeper issues at stake in this for
some time. It is believed that the
main issue was actually one of
prestige. Although this seems a
trivial matter over which to fight
a war, it is very important to the
residents and citizens of the two
areas. The entire episode has
been likened to a tribal dispute
such as those which were
common in this country before
it was civilized.
The actual battle ensued after
an apparent break-down in
diplomatic relations. Tribal
custom dictates that the
diplomatic duties be carried out
by the tribal chieftains instead
of a second in command.
However, the custom may have
been over-ridden in the height of
emotion. In any case, no one is
sure who fired the first balloon,
but from that moment, the din
of the battle could be heard as
far away as the ad building.
The Meade Heights
Expeditionary Force, under the
command of General Kati
LaMonaca, launched the first
attack with only token
resistance from the Dorm
Defenders. MHEF charged up
the dorm drive slowly but with a
firm resolution to achieve its
objective. Experienced field
tacticians have stated that the
token resistance from the DD
trops may have been a carefully
laid trap. *
At first it looked as if the
MHEF would win an easy
victory. But as they reached the
edge of the parting lot, the
Heights forces were met with a
Juniors - Elect Senators Juniors & Seniors - Vote on Constitution TODAY 8 AM to 4 PM S6A Office
WattaWar!
terrible fusillade from the
rallying Dorm Defenders. In
fact, the easy victory was far
from their grasp at this point. As
the invader, MHEF was
handicapped by limited
ammunition and poorly planned
supply lines, even though a
mobile unit was employed.
DD forces came from
everywhere. Under the direction
of General Caddie Labar (Uncle
Caddie to his Aid-de-Camp) they
surprised the MH forces and
quickly absorbed most of the
attackers’ ammunition. MHEF
then re-grouped to replace the
expended munitions.
At this point in the battle,
Dorm forces missed the
opportunity to effectively wipe
out the attackers with a
counter-attack. All was quiet for
a few minutes, but not so quiet
that UN observer, Nancy Colnes,
could complete a quick
battlefield tour without
sustaining some direct wounds.
With the fierce war markings
dripping obcenely from then
faces and bodies, the Heights
forces attacked again. And again
the Dorm forces rallied to the
cause. Shortly after the first
volley in the new attack, the
high water mark of the battle
was reached. As in the initial
attack, DD forces occupied the
building tops, but this time the
battle reached even the inside of
the dorms. With the battle raging
at fever pitch, it was difficult to
distinguish between die MHEF
and DD. And as usual, the Pinko
Pacifists and their leader, Pat
Murphy, remained . in the
protected neutral territory of
the Cafeteria.
As in all tribal wars of this
magnitude, the female tribe
members were in the heat of the
battle. Very little raping and
pillaging could be seen during
the actual fighting, but it is
expected that even this was not
entirely forgotten as the war
raged on to its close. The women
came in to some of the worst of
the punishment. Several were
seen being carried off to the
mud holes and, no doubt, were
made to suffer ancient
indignities.
(con’t. on p. 3)
“All The News That Fits .... We Print”
CAPITOL CAMPUS - MIDDLETOWN, PA.
INTERVIEWS With The Candidates
Ed. Note: In order to make
room for the short articles on
each Junior senatorial candidate,
some of the regular articles have
been cut from this week’s
Capitalist. We apologize to our
readers and contributors for this
action, but feel that the
importance of the election
warrants it. You can be
important, too. VOTE!
Today, all of the Juniors will
be voting for those who seek
Senatorial positions in the
Student Government
Association. In all, there are 17
candidates. Six Juniors from
Business, three from Humanities,
four from Social Science,
Engineering produced three and
Elementry Education, one.
The CAPITOLIST interviewed
each of the seventeen, asking
them three basic questions: Why
are you running; What are the
main issues; and what are your
previous political experiences.
Marilyn Levin, Social Science
1. I feel that there should be
more representation by female
members of the Student Body.
2. I would like to see S.G.A.
bring about closer
Teacher-Student relations. I am
interested in S.G.A. working out
experimental programs to bring
about a student evaluation by
professors rather than a pass/fail
grade system. Also, I would like
to work to engage more
activities on campus for students
in their leisure time.
Ron Edwards, Ed. Et.:
1. I like being involved in
Student Government affairs and
also, I feel a need to help out as
much as need be.
2. I haven’t been affiliated
with Capitol Campus long
enough to note any main issues.
However, I am willing to help
out in whatever situations arise.
3. I was in S.G.A. in my
Freshman year at Fayette
Campus, Uniontown. In my
sophomore year, I was president
of the S.G.A. at Fayette
Campus.
A 1 Jackson, Business:
1.1 feel that I can bring some
valuable previous experience and
success to the S.G.A. of Capitol
Campus. I find that the S.G.A. is
much like that of Allegheny
Community College and I hope I
can import some of its successful
programs.
2.1 feel that one of the main
issues is the number of student
voices on committees set up to
deal with the appropriation of
funds for various Student Affairs
on campus.
3. I was Student Senator at
Allegheny Community College. I
dealt mainly with special
committees concerned with
financial affairs of students and
their activities.
Don Snyder, Business
1. I am interested in helping
out in Student Affairs as much
as possible. I feel that I want to
help improve campus affairs,
particularly curriculum and
social activities.
2. More unification of
committees and better
organization of the S.G.A. in
general is my main concern.
3. I have had previous
experience with steering
committees, for various social
organizations at Lehigh
Community College.
Joseph Kish, Engineering:
1. I hope that by being
elected and participating in
S.G.A., I can improve conditions
at Capitol Campus for all
students.
2. We need more and
improved extra-curricular
activities.
3. My previous experience
consists of participation in high
school Student Government
Organizations.
Ron Deluca, Ed. Et
1. Nothing is all perfect.
There is always room for
improvement and I’d like to help
in improving Capitol Campus
Affairs.
2. I haven’t been here long
enough to note any main issues
which might exist.
3. I was a representative in
S.G.A. for two years at Scranton
Campus.
Harry Franzrer, Social Science:
1. The best way to get
something done is within a
structure rather than outside.
2. Since I’m a Junior, I will
have to take the issues as they
come up.
3. I was a Student
Co-ordinator for Earth Week at
my Community College. I was
also an officer in the ecology
club.
Tom Viehman, Business:
1. I feel that I have the
temperment to bring about
change within this campus, with
the help of an aware Student
Body.
2. I would like to bring about
equal voting representation for
Students, . Faculty, and
Administration at all levels.
3. I am 24 years old, a
veteren. I have worked with
S.G.A. in high school as a
representative. Last year, at the
Community College of
Allegheny County South
Campus, I was Student Body
President, and my Senate
brought about equal
representation for all
committees within the college.
Barry Hollock, Business:
1. I would like to get things
done. I think I would be able to
devote time to the S.G.A.
2.1 would like to bring about
a better relationship between the
Dorms, Meade Heights and the
Commuting Students. I would
also like to see better facilities
for intramural sports.
3. I was Secretary and
Treasurer of the Bowling Club.
Armond Mundy, El. Ed.
1. There is a need for S.G.A.
Senators, so why not me as well
as anyone else?
October I'
2.1 didn’t note any real.
issues, but I am interested
dealing with such affairs as B 1
Student Programs, and finant
aid to all students. I feel
many issues have already i
taken care of, at least in the
Ed. curriculum.
,3. I participated in
organizations at the Commui
College of Philadelphia.
Michael Dini, Social Science:
1. As a new student at Capi
Campus, I would like to of
my personal “Human Relatir
experience to our S.G.A. in
efforts in the governing of
school and in the continuat
of Capitol Campus as a truly
“Student Oriented” institution.
2. I am interested in relations
effecting students, faculty, staff
and the community, (the
Harrisburg area) I also look
forward to working in such areas
as “academic anonomy” for
Capitol Campus, corrective
reform and student activities.
3. I have never held an S.G.A.
position, but have been actively
involved in the Alumni
Association, the Inner Club
Council, Student P.S.E.A.
Aaron Spicher, Humanities:
1.1 am running because of the
apathy I have come across in
other colleges about the S.G.A. I
want to help in the unity of a
Student Body and that way is
Student Government.
2. I promise nothing; that is
my platform. I, myself, cannot
get that which I promise, and if I
promise it and then I do not
come over with it, I then am
getting elected by what I say,
not by what I am doing or going
to do.
3. My only background is that
I am interested in mankind. This
is what a person in the
government is, no matter what
type of government, and this is
what I hope to do; work for the
whole Student Body, not
myself.
Tom Dixon, Business:
1. I want to do something to
make school more aware of what
is going on.
2. I would like to increase the
budget, especially for intramural
sports, the gym and the athletic
building.
3. I was Vice-President in my
home room in high school.
Doug Deleon, Humanities:
1. To find and act on the
needs of the Student Body.
Whether or not I’m elected to
the Senator’s post is immaterial.
I can be effective, either in
S.G.A., or through another
member.
2.1 see a need for a used book
store here. I have various other
ideas concerning the
disassociation of the Student
Body with our Parent
Institution. Students here need a
closer association with that
Grand Institution.
3. I was the S.G.A. President
of Montgomery County
Community College. I am also
(con’t. on p. 2)