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Letters to the Editor
A Possible Deterioration
Dear Editor,
The definition of the word
“deteriorate” found in the
“College Edition of Webster’s
New World Dictionary” is: “to
make worse; lower in quality or
value; depreciate.” This word
currently applies to myself along
with hundreds of students, both
male and female, who
participated in Varsity and
Intramural sports last year.
With football season upon us
and enthusiasm still high from
last year, combined with many
fine new junior athletes, we are
still faced with a grave problem
concerning recreational athletics
on this campus. We will probably
be forced to play football on
fields that are not properly lined,
two referees instead of three (if
we can afford any at all) and a
chance of not having any trophies
for the league’s top teams at the
seasons end.
The reason for these cutbacks
is a “so called lack of funds”; To
begin with, the recreational
athletic department received only
approximately 10% of the money
it requested from the University.
The result of this ridiculous sum
received (approximately $4,400.)
forced the dropping of golf,
tennis and cross-country from
Varsity status. Not only are we
doing without a decent sum of
money to run our programs but
we aren’t even allowed to spend
the limited funds we have, the
reason being a freeze on
University spending. I myself fail
to believe that the University is in
such grave financial trouble, and
if it is, it is no fault of Capitol
Campus. After all, this is Penn
State University, not Jerkwater
Junior College where such
financial maladies might be
expected.
When it boils down to dollars
and cents, how much resistance
did the University get from us
when our fees were raised for this
year???
Getting back to our immediate
problem, we might not have a
gym to play volleyball or
basketball in every though the
Tothe editors ofthe Capitolist
On “Tricken Sie”
The Capitolist should be
proud of its splendid coverage
of the often over-worked,
under-used, and mis-used word
‘f*ck’. Such a good Middle
English word like ‘Fucken’
(Middle Dutch ‘fokken’) is
often overlooked by moralistic
linguistic prudes!
However, I would not have
such an interesting article
marred by the slight fudging
over of the usage of the part
icle ‘f*ck*ng’ as an adyerb, or
the gerund ‘f*ck*ng’ as an
adjective. In ‘Mary .is f*ck*ng
interested in John’ the word
under consideration is used as
an adverb but is more correctly
said to be a verbal modifier,
modifying the verb. In ‘Mary
is f*ck*ing beautiful’ (since
Staff of the
Capitolist: “sssk,
Gregg Crescenzo
Russ Matthews
Jane McDonald
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M aJa»,TOR: §K3"
"«««*"«* MS* -
Cliff Balson Lae Fjlher
Steve Rosenzweig
gym sits big as life across Route
230. Again, lack of funds might
keep its doors from opening.
I could write a whole article
just on the things we will do
without if funds aren’t gotten
immediately but I would rather
take some time to look back on
last year’s program, and remind
the seniors and inform the juniors
about what we had. I don’t think
it can be denied that there was a
great amount of competition and
spirit on campus as the seasons
past, especially in the major
sports in which these were mens',
womens’, and coed leagues. For
those who didn’t care for
football, basketball, or baseball,
there was volleyball, bowling,
darts, ping-pong, billiards,
wrestling and even pinochle for
those who cared to compete (one
might refer to new handbook for
complete listings of sports). One
thing we still have is a fine
Recreational Athletic
Co-ordinator who is always
willing to take suggestions to help
better out programs so that more
people can participate and enjoy
them, not to mention the task of
scheduling games and just seeing
that everyone is running
smoothly.
Aside from just playing sports,
I have found that you can gain a
lot more from intramurals. You
get to meet a lot of people
(especially as a junior), you learn
how to organize into a group that
is striving for a common
goal-usually to win. You learn
discipline, not to mention
participating and learning new
sports, such as Sumo Wrestling,
Shuffieboard, or Horseshoes, etc.
It is also a nice feeling to win a
trophy or ribbon for your efforts.
If anything, I hope this article
reminded us seniors and
enlightened our junior class of
what I, and many other students,
consider a grave and unjust
problem. I would really like to see
some unity from everyone to help
solve this problem as soon as
possible because “you can only
miss something after it is gone”.
Marc Joseph
it is not .‘Mary is f*ck*ng
beautifuLly’) the gerund
‘f*ck*ng’ iis a verbal form
modifying the noun; possibly
it is also part of the compli
ment of the verb.
With this noted, correctly
I think, I am sure that Mary
and myself will not get gerunds
and particles screwed (up).
Thank you,
John (as dictated to M.K.)
P.S. A friend of mine has in
formed me of the following
‘coined-cognates’ to.the Old
English “fooka dooka’:
Indo European . .*jhereti bood
Old Icelandic . . . jicaschulba
Koine. phreegendafinga
Latin ipse jucus
Spanish .... (et al) chengase
I felt your readers may ap
preciate . these variants of
‘f*ck y**’. M.K.
THE CAPITOLIST
SMILIN’ HUES
by Steve Wesley and Steve
Rosen^jveig
Hi! We would like to take this
opportunity to introduce Captiol
Campus to the new “Smilin’
Faces” column that we will be
writing every week in The
CAPITOLIST.
The column is so named
because we would like to do our
best to create smilin’ faces
throughout the school. Even if
only one of our little tidbits
makes you laugh, we’ll be quite
happy ourselves.
First of all, we would like to
welcome our new Juniors and
returning Vets. Secondly, much
thanks to everyone connected
with Orinetation Week who did
an extraordinary job and caused
many “smilin’ faces.”
Before we get down to
business, let us say that we will be
happy to use your contributions
in our column. To contact us, just
stop by or call at the following
places:
Steve Wesley
949 A Kirtland
Phone 944-9751 or
Steve Rosenzweig
9518 Kirtland
Phone 944-9710 or
Room W-10S, Student Affairs
Now, let’s get down to some
Happy Faces.
Good luck to all Juniors; good
hunting to all Seniors.
Today’s chuckle: Ha, Ha, Ha!
Condolences to John Sabol
who came back as a MARRIED
Senior.
An urgent plea to Juniors:
Please bear with the Venderville
food - it’ll get worse.
Bring back the pinball
machines from last year.
Dave Baker says, “Free the
Indianapolis 500!”
Congrats to the Pirates’ fans
on Campus from an ex-Phillies’
fan.
Cutting out the 12-o’clock
lunch break could be the
salvation cf our stomachs.
A tip when living with new
roommates:
It’s better to fart and bear
the shame
Than not to fart and bear
the pain
God Bless Sam.
Jimmy Olsen was Lois Lane’s
pimp.
Wanted: Juniors with no
writing ability for the
CAPITOLIST staff. P.S., Seniors
accepted.
Limmerick of the Week:
There once was a young lad
named Herkin,
Who was always jerkin’ her
gherkin;
His mother said, “Herkin,”
Quit jerkin’ your gherkin.
Yours gherkin’s for ferkin,
Herkin.”
(ed. note: GROAN!)
Save your old CAPITOLISTS.
If the heat goes out, you can bum
them.
History’s scrapbook: Two
years ago today, Clyde Heartburn
started his consecutive string of
eating 117 straight meals in the
dorm mess hall. His string ended
with a case of food poisoning
which, unfortunately, tilled him.
The first Capitol Campus Wine
Drinking Derby was won by Mike
Ferrazano, who came into the
contest as a HEAVY favorite. He
drank a glass of wine, was cheered
by three spectors, and was
acclaimed the winner by the
judges.
Every week we’ll have a trivia
quiz. The first person to call
944-9710 with the correct answer
will win a free copy of the
CAPITOLIST, and get his name
mentioned in the column. This
week’s question:
The Lone Ranger had a
nephew whose name was Dan
Ranger. What was the name of
Dan’s horse, who was also the son
of Silver?
SMILE!
Words From The Other Side or
What Became Qt
The Leftover Yellow Bricks
un-sacrafice-they stuck around
with a little help from the Wizard.
The Wizard is a person no one
knows, it is rumored he may live
in a place known as Ozz. At least
we know that Ozz exists and what
an Ozz it is, it’s of such size that in
its bowels isthe Village of Vender
where the Munchkins munch
(yeah I know it’s camp but I just
couldn’t resist it) Everyday the
citizens journey to Ozz, here they
work and toil and toil and work
(i’ve got to keep a certain sense of
fiction in this story)
The largest tribe of citizens
which converge on the magical
hills of Cam-pus are the
Com-uters, they come to
Ozz-returning to their villages
when their day is over-returning
to Cam-pus after their alarms ring
the following day. Contrasting
the size of the tribe of Com-uters
is the place it is legal-the
Apart-ments of University, by far
the smallest village.
In Cam-pus die citizens taxes
have gone up up up, but the
citizens don’t mind for their love
of Cam-pus is unrequited the
Campus fathers and the Wizard
are glad for this. But who is the
Wizard? rather who will be the
Wizard? One might question
again, “Who is the picker of
for it has been reported
Cam-pus will get a new Wizard. If
as a citizen you would like to
watch some first handed,
unpeerless magic that Ozz is
capable of performing-just ask
this question, “Are the citizens
involved in the picking of the
Wizard??” then watch the Ozz
official tap their magic slippers
and disappear.
The Week That Was
by Gregg Crescenzo
Once upon a time (What’s a
time) in a far away part of the
world, sprawled the fertile
magical hills of Cam-pus. What a
mysterious little place it was, for
in Cam-pus the night of Tues-day
was the time designated for
worship, it was on this day that
the citizens of Cam-pus did
congregate and join in sharing the
sacraments placed upon their
altars by the annointed heads, in
the Church of Stash-whom most
felt, if not saw. (more of the
culture, following a word form
our sponsor) Buy!
The' fertile magical hills of
Cam-pus surround in a motherly
fashion the plan of Highets, it is
here that most altars have grown
in the past four terms (a term is
the time it takes to go from down
to up, depending upon the
citizens tongue weight.).
Also in this motherly
shroud-directly across from the
plain of Highets and through the
enchanted ravine, rise the Land of
the Dorms, here the ghost-like
Echoes live among the citizens.
The Echoes are impish little bums
who scald unknowing citizens as
they shower, distract the readers
of books with gong-like sounds,
and instantly change the golden
spun vitals they are about to
receive to hay, as they enter the
hall known for dining. Foldlore
of this land speaks of the Echoes
orgins, “During an unintentional
hunger strike, the vibration of a
locker door shattered their
weakened bones, which melted
away with the rest of their frail
bodies as a citizen forgot not to
flush,” so in honor of their
by Len Panza
THE WEEK is over. For the
uninitiated,
Orientation/Registration week
represents a combination of
mayhem and pleasure which
seems to many to be much more
mayhem than pleasure. Subjected
to more confusion and problems
than anyone else are the new
students, and despite the efforts
of both faculty and
administrators, many Juniors still
suffer registration anxieties.
This term, a group of students
from Delta Tau Kappa, the
International Social Science
Honor Society, pooled their
efforts in an attempt to alleviate
the frustration and woe usually
suffered during registration
procedures. Our group assumed
the unofficial title as the Social
Science Subversive Counseling
Service and headquartered itself
in the TV lounge. Our goal was
simple: To provide assistance,
answer questions, and offer
personal opinions on anything
and everything.
A service such as ours~by
students, for students-had never
before been offered during
registration at Capitol Campus.
Despite doubts that our
temporary underground location
might not be visited, on Monday
of Orientation/Registration week
more than 100 new Social Science
students took advantage of the
services being provided by the
Senior “counselors.” By the end
of the week, the volunteers from
D.T.K. had aided more than 180
new students; many from
programs other than Social
Science who were perplexed over
choosing a Social Science
elective.
Questions ranged the entire
spectrum of course choices,
professors, term papers, exams,
reading lists, social activities and a
multitude of individual problems.
Thursday,
Most problems were easily
resolved, as they were similar to
difficulties encountered by all
students registering in a new
school. And since Captiol
Campus students encounter
problems somewhat different
from students elsewhere, who
would be better qualified to offer
advise than a “seasoned” Capitol
Campus student? As was
expected, our group was unable
to answer all the questions it
encountered. Those students
requiring special assistance were
directed to an appropriate faculty
advisor or administrator.
THE WEEK was hectic, but
for those of us who manned the
Subversive Counseling Service it
also proved to be very rewarding.
We sincerely hope that we were of
some assistance to those who
sought our help. Spending the
entire week at school also enabled
us to develop a deeper
appreciation of the
administrators, faculty members,
and secretarial staff. You
wouldn’t believe what they go
through.
D.T. K. tentatively plans to
continue its assistance program
for new students during future
registration periods. We think
such a service is needed for all
students, not just Social Science
niajors, and we encourage
responses from the student body
at large concerning such a
proposition.
D.T.K. is currently undergoing
reorganization and has
undertaken several projects for
the coming academic year. A
primary objective of the Society
is to bring Social Science
students and faculty members
closer together in an attempt to
promote better understanding
and to possibly institute future
curricular programs which will
reflect the integrated concern of
both groups. More on this later.
7.1971