Page 8
The End Of
Our Man With Vision
by Brett Taylor
Collegian Staff Writer
So this is how the
semester ends...
Not with a bang but
with a whimper.
- T.S. Eliot
When I started here at
Behrend in 1855, things were
a great deal simpler. The
future was something my
fellow students and I
embraced, not feared. And
back in those days, we had no
Man With Vision to guide the
way.
That's why I feel terrible.
I've been neglecting all of my
mail from you poor kids still
in search of vision.
Unfortunately, this is my last
column, so I can't possibly
get to the 3,000 or so letters
piled here on my desk. I'll do
my best, though, to get to as
many as possible today.
I am a sophomore
business major, but I
really want to be a poet
like you. What should I
do?
You came to the' right
person. Let me share with
you something that really
helped me when I was a
struggling young business
major who wanted to be a
poet.
HOW TO BE A POET
1. Wear black clothing. You
will tell people you are
mourning the sad state of
mankind. Actually, you are
just saving yourself the
trouble of sorting lights from
darks in your laundry. You,
being a poet, never learned to
do laundry.
2. Learn to play the guitar.
Become just good enough so
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that you can make an ass of
yourself at parties. Good
practice: Teach yourself the
classic riff of "Day Tripper,"
but only up to the key change.
Claim that you’ve never heard
of "Smoke on the Water.”
3. Misquote famous
people (see example above).
What, in your opinion,
is that magic quality that
separates you from other
writers? I really want to
know.
Every good writer has to
have some governing passion.
My passion is italics. I like
italics. I really, really do.
What does a Man
with Vision do after
he graduates?
Well, I have this latch
hook kit I got for
Christmas seven years
ago that I've been
meaning to work on.
I've had the song
"Surfin' Bird" stuck in
my head for weeks.
Should I see a doctor or
what?
What does a Man with
Vision do after he
graduates?
Well, I have this latch hook
kit I got for Christmas seven
years ago that I've been
meaning to work on.
Are there any Women
with Vision, or are you
just a sexist twerp?
Yes. No.
My life is so dull and
boring and colorless.
What can I do?
Buy a knife sharpener, t
drill and some fingerpaints,
Why do you ask me these
stupid questions?
Sorry.
FREE HELP
Ask Louanne
Dear Louanne,
I am a freshman here at Penn State-Behrend. I have encountered
prejudice dealing with homosexuality. I feel out of place because
homosexuality is looked down upon. I feel 1 should be able to express
my true feelings of sexuality with a consenting significant other as
long as there is no infringement on others rights. Therefore I feel
homosexuality should be discussed openly to alleviate the friction that
exists between homosexuals and heterosexuals. I feel that people
automatically assume that if you are homosexual, you are infested with
AIDS. Most homosexuals use devises to demote the chance of
contracting some disease. Just as heterosexuals use devises to demote
the chance of pregnancy. Back in 1960's with the sexual revolution, our
parents were more aware and more accepting of people with alternative
lifestyles. With the issuance of the 1980's, I feel that sexuality should
not be a factor with one’s life. Considering this is supposed to be the
decade of higher enlightenment.
AIDS scares homosexuals as well as heterosexuals. At this junction,
we should be looking towards a cure rather than condemning the source
of the problem, because not only homosexuals give AIDS, but also
heterosexuals, hemophiliacs, IV drug users and the list goes on. There
is no group to place blame upon.
My suggestion is that we accept people for who and what they are. I
don’t condemn people for being heterosexual so why should anyone
condemn me for what kind of life I choose? We have a host of different
groups, groups including those for non-traditional students, women,
blacks, and even for eating disorders. Why is there no support group for
people who chosen alternative lifestyles?
Signed, Disgusted and Trying to Survive
Dear Survivor,
Thank you for having the courage to share your
feelings. They are certainly valid. It must be very lonely
and difficult being a member of a group so discriminated
against, and the AIDS scare certainly hasn't helped. I
think your idea of a support group is a good one.
I did some investigating and came up with some
resources for you. Here in- Erie there is a gay/lesbian
support group which meets on Wednesday evenings at
8:00 pm at The Episcopal Cathedral of St. Paul across
from the County Court House on West 6th St. (enter on
the east side through the glass doors). I am ..told that
many students attend. There is a group called parents and ~
Friends of Gays. The phone .number is 456-1087. There
is also an Erie minister who -provides counseling free of
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December 8,1988
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charge to people with "private and alternative lifestyles."
I can give you the name and number if you contact me
directly; but, unfortunately, prejudice in our community
prevents me from publishing this information.
I also called the Hotline at University Park and was
given two student resources in the Penn State system:
Gay/Lesbian Switchboard - 814-237-1950 - provides
counselling
Lesbian/Gay Student Association - 814-865-1916 - Bob
Kuzma
I have no first hand experience with any of these
resources, but I hope they will be helpful. I would
appreciate any feedback you can give me.
Good Luck. I hope you find the support you need.
DearLouanne,
As finals approach I get more and more nervous. Do you have any
tips for getting through finals in one piece?
Dear Anxious,
Here are some quick and dirty tips that might help:
-Be prepared - know the material.
-The night before - normal routine, no excesses
(food,drink, romance, T.V., music, exercise,
reading,partying, socializing).
-The morning before - eat lightly, no more than
twocups of coffee.
-Don't over-stimulate or depress senses.
NoDoz,tranquilizers alcohol, and pot cause fatigue,
nervousness, decreases alertness and motivation.
-Get a normal night’s sleep.
-Keep your mind open and clear - no last minute
clutter cramming for details.
-Wear comfortable, removable clothing (the outer
layer, I mean).
-Arrive early enough to find a good seat away from
distractions, but not too early.
-Take life savers to combat drowsiness from low blood
sugar during the exam but avoid sugar before the exam.
Timing:
-Read through the test, calculate time for each
question.
-Pace yourself - use a watch.
-Mark time consuming questions - move on. - go back
-Ignore other test takers,
are probably skipping.
-Guesstimate - eliminate what choices you can.
-Approximating is better than nothing if time is short.
-Learn how to relax your body. Before and during the
exam, take three deep breaths letting go of tense muscles.
-Study with friends.
-Take a walk.
-Identify
positive.
~. -VISUALIZE SUCCESS!!'
and dispute negative
Good luck to you on finals. Have a great holiday.
I'll see you next year!!!
Signed Anxious
If they turn pages faster they
thoughts