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Let’s Talk
Dealing with stress
by Ray Sines
Collegian Staff Writer
STRESS: What is it, what
causes it, and how do you get rid of
it?
Stress is the way your mind and
body react to any situation that's
new, threatening or exciting.
Needless to say college, in general,
can be very stressful. Leaving
home, commuting to school,
managing finances, living with a
roommate, having personal values
tested and handling personal
problems all raise the level of
anxiety Let alone mid-term
exams and having papers due.
Making a choice about a college
major (with a future job in mind) is
probably one of the most stressful
situations that a college student
faces. Students often pick majors
based on what others have said or
not said.
Little to no experience on the
student's part forces the student to
put a lot of trust and faith in a
counselor. This, itself, becomes
extremely stressful. A large
percentage of students change their
majors (some several times) before
their senior year. This is often a
direct result of stress in a particular
subject. Even a single difficult
test often sends a student to the
drop/add line.
Learn how to beat TEST
ANXIETY. First, be prepared.
Then, ten minutes before the test
begins, use relaxation techniques.
Tighten, then relax muscle groups.
Clench your fists and aims tightly;
relax, then follow the same
procedures for muscles in your
shoulders, neck, abdomen, legs, etc.
Read the directions carefully,
budget your time and mark the
difficult items and return to them
A Select Few
"Did you see that guy,” one moron asks the rest of his cohorts, "he
must buy his clothes at a tent shop!" The group laughs together at their
latest victim as they walk towards class.
Everyone knows this group of immature kin. There is at least one in
every school, public or private. They are the same bullying twits that
used to beat up the smart kid in grammar school. The same insensitive
idiots that always made fun of the fat girl, the boy with the club foot and
the person of another race in high school. The same uncouth losers I
thought would never graduate from high school - let alone make it to
college.
Unfortunately, a number of these unsavory elements are right here at
Behrend. These few get thrills out of laughing at another person because
they have a disability, are of a different race or just because they are
different from themselves.
At first I thought that this group were just recently out of high
school and not yet fully matured. This theory was quickly discredited
when I heard the same type of insulting rhetoric emitting from one of
the Behrend apartments, facilities which are supposed to house
upperclassmen. What I heard shouted out of the apartment fell short of
any class.
At first I simply ignored these verbal assaults. I did not want to
acknowledge these attacks with a rebuttal, that would only lower myself
to their level. I thought since the antics of these illiterate baboons (for I
have realized that these vermin are sub-human) did not really bother me,
I would simply forget about them. It was not until I witnessed an
unmitigated attack of laughter on a person with a walking impediment
that I decided to act.
"The pen is mightier than the sword!" I was once told and I figured
that this column would be the best way to get my point across.
The fact is that no matter where you are, the number of overweight,
physically impaired or simply different people, like myself, will always
be greater than the number of "perfect" swine who feel they have to
make cruel jokes about us.
I do not give the names of these pristine defecations of society, for
they know who they are. I give only advice to my fellow misfits. Take
heart, we strongly out number them and will inevitably outlast them.
Writer
by Peter Weichlein
Collegian Staff Writer
Fm not a George Bush fan and
I don't care about Mike Dukakis too
much either (quite a predicament
with November 8 being so
dangerously close), but when I
watched the last debate Mr. Bush
actually said something that made
sense and impressed me enough to
give it another thought. I won't
attempt to quote the Vice-President
and if you ever catch me doing so,
please shoot me. But when asked
by one of the panelists whether he
would be willing to debate again,
since the American public is still in
doubt about, the candidate's stand on
certain issues, innocent little
Geoige became quite hostile.
He, in return, answered with an
accusation, saying not the
candidates but the {Hess was at fault
for America's ignorance towards the
candidate's politics. This statement
later. Be optimistic. Don't allow j
disappointing past performance tc
affect your attitude toward the test
at hand.
There are also certain dos and
don’ts in bringing the stress level
back down. Choose a quiet place of
study, learn to manage your time,
take breaks, eat right, exercise and
recognize your limitations.
Avoid the pitfalls of panic,
alcohol, drugs and overwork. It
doesn't help to skip classes and then
cram later either.
And don’t base YOUR goals
or career on the popularity of a
professor/instructor or another
student. Keep in mind it's easy to
be sold someone else's idea by a
slick sales person, but what do you
have after you have purchased it?
Don't let your college years
distress you. Recognize situations
that may cause stress. Develop
effective ways to manage stress.
And, seek help if you need it.
I (Pastor Sines) offer free
counsel every Wednesday morning
in the Campus Ministry office.
Don't hesitate to come by if you
would like to talk.
Richard G. Cain
Looks at
was welcomed by a supportive
grunt from Dukakis' comer.
And he has a point. The
problem with democracy is that any
idiot can get his thoughts
publicized (no intended correlation
to your’s truly), and one therefore
has to be very much aware of the
fact that the printed word isn't
always as true and informative as
one would want it to be. '
Let’s look at Dan Quayle for
example. And what a great example
he is. Granted, some of his media
problems resulted from his
complete lack of personality and
humor, but the press concentrated
for the most part on his sensational
traits, namely being in the National
Guard during the Vietnam War, and
an alleged sexual encounter with
infamous ex-lobbyist Paula
Parkinson.
Now, while some might
consider this good enough
information to cast a vote on, I find
OPINION
Love Rob
Back from Russia, with Love
by Rob Prindle
I’m back. You probably remember that last issue I decided to go to
?“ s 0 s ' a to avoid the problems of the United States. Well, I gave the
USSR a by, but now I'm back here in Erie.
Let me tell you that it is good to be here. Life in Russia wasn’t all
it was cracked up to be. I had planned to continue writing my Love Rob
coiumn, free from the oppression that I faced here at Behrend. I hoped
ij i Communist w ?y life* with all its open-mindedness would
gladly welcome my highly insightful thoughts. I thought that the
sympathetic Russian government would welcome me as the monheit
that I know I am.
explained that it just would not do to have two columns named Love. I
couldn t argue with that logic, so I called it a day and went home to my
new Russian apartment. Imagine my shock when I got to my new place
and found seventeen Russian Javelin throwers were my new roommates.
They were nice guys, but nice only goes so far, if you know what I
mean.
Things eventually got better, though. I soon found a new name for
my column and after a few days I had established myself as somewhat
of a celebrity.
So my column was a success. I thought that everything was starting
to go my way, and then one day I got a knock on my door. It was an
angry mob of Soviets, led by fat smoking-women and strange liberal
guys. They told me that what I wrote was "trashski." They even went
so far as to claim that they had found backward masking of Satanic
conservative messages in my column.
The screaming mob just wouldn't listen to reason. I told them that I
was in no way, shape or form a conservative. I may not be completely
liberal, but people like George Bush turn my stomach. I told them that
I would rather drink warm milk, laced with cat hair and vassoline than
vote for a candidate that would outlaw abortion and decrease college
funding.
I screamed that I left America because Conservatism and red-necked
Republicans were ruining the country. I told them that all I wanted was
the chance to move to Russia and live in a country where minorities are
not under-represented and lower class people are not the victim of the
wealthyfew.
The crowd grew quiet and looked at me like I was crazy. One of
them approached me and asked me what the heck I was talking about.
He told me that Russia wasn't the paradise that I thought it was. He
reminded me that there was no David Letterman, no Buffalo style hot
wings, no Alf and worst of all no good looking women.
So that's it. now you know why I returned to Erie. The story does
have a happy ending, though.' I made it back in time to see "The Last
Temptation of Christ" at Cinema World before the Bible thumpers
booted it out of town. I wish that the protesters would just go in and
see the movie. It was great. The film was much more powerful then the
wimpy movies like "Jesus of Nazerus" that are shown around Easter. It
was immensely interesting, with just a touch of humor, the movie
portrayed Jesus as someone worthy of worship.
The movie served as a refreshing reminder that freedom of expression
still exists in America.
* «
Election, Media
this background of Mr. Quayle
lacking a bit substance. And I'm
sure he would prefer to see more
attention being paid to his political
side.
PETE'S
PERSPECTIVE
But we should have seen it
coming. The media's repulsive
treatment of our upcoming election
started two years ago when so-called
"journalists" from Miami staked
out Gary Hart's apartment where he
was entertaining Donna Rice. Hart
was the press'first victim. I just
wish Gary Hart would have had
more guts. The day his story
surfaced he should have met the
press. Sure, I slept with her- so
what Does that make him any less
of a president than Dukakis or
October 27,1988
As soon as I stepped off the
plane, I was greeted by three guys
in black polyester suits. They told
me that I was to report to Provda,
the official newspaper of the
communist party. I arrived at the
office and sat down to write my
column. I got no farther than
typing the title "love Rob” when
the editor, who was standing behind
me, yelled "stop." He pulled out a
back issue of Provda, opened to
page #3 and pointed to a column.
There was a picture of the guy who
wrote it, he was wearing dark
sunglasses and a lether jacket, and
the title read; "Love Ivan."
I was shocked. The editor,
whose name was Jim Martinovitch,
Bush, Kennedy or Roosevelt?
Granted, he still wouldn't have
gotten the nomination, but at least
he would have taken a stand,
stopping this whole movement
towards political scandal ism dead in
its tracks. But he didn't make a
stand and we are still being fed
rumors disguised as news.
Granted, the American public
has the right to know everything
concerning the men about to run
the country. And the source of this
information has obviously to be the
mass media system. In recent years
however, this public service has
been taken to the extreme. We are
now at the point where a candidate's
sex-life receives more press then his
voting record. We are now at a
point where politicians spend more
time covering their backs rather
than fulfilling the duties they have
been elected to carry out
Wondering Why
by Kevin Trenney
Collegian Staff Writer
As I sit here at my desk,
realizing that my Collegian article
(this one) is late, serious questions
run through my mind.
Why am I here? What do those
signs which say "slow children"
really mean? What does college
attendance have to do with real life?
Where did Dukakis get those
eyebrows: Were they transplants
taken from the forehead of
Breshnev? Is Dan Quayle really a
senator or is he one of those slow
children who escaped from the
second grade? Why do we allow
New Jersey to dump garbage in our
state? What's wrong with the
Jersey Shore? How about Boston
Harbor? Is George Bush really a
closet "Dead- Head?" Like a
thousand points of light man, oh
wow! My apologies to his speech
writers. What are Twinkies really
made of? Isn't the shelf life of
Twinkies incredible? Who came up
with such a stupid name anyway?
Isn't it funny when Heavy Metal
fans tell you that your favorite
group's music all sounds the same?
Is there a heavy metal band which
hasn't used the word die at least
1000 times on every album? Does
understanding the words really mean
anything? Who coined the term
"Ho-bag." Was he/she one of the
most creative minds of our time or
what? (I love it!)
Do snobs keep their noses so
high in the air because their polo
underwear are too tight thus
creating a ripple effect which
reaches the nasal area? Why don't
their noses bleed (nasal altitude)?
Will they Drown when it rains?
What does Color Weather Radar
have to do with radio? Could any
other town have a radio station
which calls playing more pop trash
"Better Music." Does Erie really
need another "all the pop all the
time" station to steal from someone
else? Why do we drive on
parkways and park in driveways? -
Do men realize that alcohol can
inhibit them, sexually. ( My thanks
to the party animals for the
polyurethane device and the rolled
stuff after which the Doobie
Brothers were named).
If a "Love Roberta" column
would be written by a liberal,
feminist woman, would these same
people be irate? What's wrong with
love Rob?
What's my major? Should I say
liberal arts? Student activities
would seem accurate. Why am I
one of those S A.M.'s? Because I
like to get memos!
Why do women like groups like
"Poison, Bon Jovi, Stryper?"
«••••••••••••••••••••••
The Collegian
Editor James Martin
Advisor
Copy Editors
Entertainment Editors...
Feature Editor
Layout Editor
News Editor
Sports Editor Rick Cain
Photo Coordinators Beth Bengtson
Marybeth Zawistoski
Stan Lefes
Business Manager
• •••••••••••••••••••••
Editorial Policy
The Behrend Collegian's editorial' opinion is determined by
the Editor, with the Editor holding final responsibility. Opinions
expressed on the editorial pages are not necessarily those of the
Behrend Collegian, The Behrend College, or The
Pennsylvania State University. The Corry Journal, the
publisher of the Behrend Collegian, is a separate corporate
institiution from Penn State.
Letter Policy: The Behrend Collegian encourages .letters oh
news coverage, editorial policy and' University' affairs. Letters
should be typewritten, double-spaced, signed by no more • than
two people, and not longer than 400' words. Letters should
include the semester and major of the' writer. All writers should
provide their address and phone number for verification of the
letter. The Collegian reserves the right to edit letters for length
and to reject letters if they are libelous or do not conform to
standards of good taste. •,
Postal Information: The Behrend Collegian (898-6221) is
published fourteen times annually • (seven times during each
academic semester at The Behrend College) by • the students ‘ of
The Behrend College; the Reed Union Building. Station Road/
Erie, Pa 16563.
Because they have no musical talent
vocally or instrumentally? Because
they look like women who dress in
tacky leather and spandex outfits?
Do they like men who look like
themselves because they never
resolve the narcissistic conflicts of
early childhood? Would "Worse
than the Shore" be a move
appropriate title for Bon Jovi's new
album. How about "Bad Medicine-
Bad Music?"
Why can't we sell Behr-end
Boxer shorts? Couldn't a group
really make money from something
like this? Is that so awful? Why
do I write trash for the Collegian?
Why did all of the "fabulous babes
overlook Behrend?" Why don't
girls shoot guys who call them
"fabulous babes?" Do girls like it
when guys say Yo, Babe? If so, do
they like it because they sound like
Stallone? Can you say Brigitte?
Will Letterman create a "top-ten
list” which gives the reasons why
Robin Givens is divorcing Mike
Tyson? Does anyone really care?
Is Disco on its way back? If it
does make a comeback, where can I
defect to ? Is this a more serious
reason for defecting than the one
given by those other Erie people?
What's the price of tea in China?
What does the price of tea in China
have to do with anything else any
way? Why do roommates munch
on Doritos when you’re trying to
take a nap.
How many lives has the Blue
Bus Ruined? How many people
have been forced to end their college
careers because there were little
accidents which resulted from Blue
Bus Excursions?
Why do I have the pot-belly of a
forty year-old? Are the "flower
children" of Behrend trying to start
a revival? Is this a communistic
plot inspired by the Grateful Dead
or more likely, Billy and The
Boingers? Should I buy some tie
dyes, a stateboard? ( something
new), Janis Joplin's album and join
in the fun.
Did Biff really chuck upwardly!
Would this be. a good opening. line
for my new. Soap opeiaentitled,, : "As.
the Stomach ,Turns?" ;
Is it true that Behrend keeps
Hammermill paper company in
Business? Does P.S. U. truly use
more paper than the Federal
Government?
Will there be a market for my
new book entitled, "Humility and
How I Attained it?”
Where am I going with all this?
What’s the meaning of life? Why
are we here? What’s the meaning of
life? "Does Anybody Really Know
What Time It Is? Does anybody
really care?
Nancy McGartland
Darren Boyce
Cindy Craig
Nan Quatchak
Vail Weller
Rob Prindle
Bill Warner
Maria Plaza