opinion
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by Lisa Hahn
Collegian Editor
I keep telling myself Ihave
writer's block. HA! Who am I
fooling. If I can't think of
anything to lwrite for this
issue, what makes the next
issue, or the next issue, or the
next issue any different.
Cliches, such as' 'writer's
block' and 'dry spell' are
nothing more than labels for
what in reality is the dread
disease of "EMPTY BRAIN".
I hope there is a cure because
I have a terrible case.
If you haven't figured it out
by now, I'm trying to fake my
way through filling up a space
in The Collegian. I feel a
certain responsibility to at the
Love Rob
by Rob Prindle
Collegian Staff Writer
Spring Break is over. That's the bad news. The good news is that
now you get to hear about what I did. I. bet that a lot or you went to
Florida or to big cities, to do exciting things. Well, bobbing for bikinis
Might have its merits, but.it probably doesn't compare to a nuclear
reactor.
'Yeah, While some, of you were sunning your buns or visiting mama,
the rest of us here in Erie were living, practically, in the shadow of a
nuclear reactor. I'm talking about nuclear energy boys and girls, but
keep reading anyway. •
Perry, Ohio is a cfuaint little hamlet only 60 miles from Pcnn State
Bchrend's front door. It's a small town whose main industries arc
growing shrubs and splitting atoms,„but to_ say that it is : an energetic
little town would be. an understatement: The nightlife...isn't anything .j to
talk Abu( tboligh; just a. few stores 'aridiorie bar called Joe's Nuclear
Lounge.
_
.
';.But let me - start at thQ•be:ginning. One day during break, I decided to
.„
driven) Cleveland to see'if anything was going on. The sky was clear
as fai as I could see except for one strange looking cloud. It was about
300 feet high and 50 feet wide. It didn't move, it. didn't change shape.
It just sort of hovered.
As I drove closer it became hard'tdighbre:'So rdecided ti take the
next exit and get a cldseelcx)k. Eventually I "got close enough to see
"th&s - cidiEd'orthe alc . :4ldF . a:Tfrice Mite ISlan'cl'look : =albc - e cooling
Wow. I had heard 'ationitSe Periirli f eregr PoWer' Plant 'being built,
built I didn't know that it was all ready fired up.
I sensed a photo opportunity. I drove dangerously close, practically
risking my life to fulfill my type A personality's desire for danger. I
parked just outside of the gate and read the sign. It basically said that if
the radiation didn't kill me, a guard Would 'if I tried to sneak in.
Luckily, I had a zdoni lens and I ain't afraid to use it.
• So there I was, busy taking picutreS'whert jasper drove tali. Jasper
wasn't his real nathe'but it should have been. Hc had a red neck, a big
trnek : and a gun, and oh 'yeah, he also had a badge. 'Apparently, Jasper
$/asa guard. He said that I better get moving because I wasn't allowed
to take no pictures. - I would• have corrected him on the double negative
he-used,-butd would have hated to see that neck turn any-redder. -
I'm not happy knowing that a nuclear plant is so close but I do feel
a little safer knowing that Jasper is there to protect it from 35mm
cameras. .1 also have to wonder why there aren'tguardstircling the
Penelec pant terZt i n Erie . gill our : coal - burning plant important
enough to - save froin photography"? Or is it bccause'coal doesn't melt
down and blow a hole in the world if something goes wrong. I bet that
when my friend Jasper,got 'off work 'and headed to Joe's Nuclear Lounge
for a 2 cold one; the regulars'got a good laugh when he told them about
the crazy, College-boY 7 iype:trouble maker that tried to shoot the place
full of pictures. •
_ .
I like Perry.
.It's clean, cozy, yoti can buy a houseTc,al cheap and the
cooling towers provide plenty of shade: ]Maybe rn move io Perry in a
few years...inaybe we'll all even be h&c in a fevi years:
':p
it can be yours as an Air Force
Pilot. It's not easy, but the re
wards are great You'll have all
• the Air Force advantages, such'
- as - 30 days of vacation with
pay each year and complete - - "
:medital care—and much more.
- if you're a college graduate or -,
soon will be, AIM HIGH. Contact
. your Air Force recruiter for .---
; details about Officer 'Fla i nihg
.School and pilot training.. Call
Sgt Greg Agen •
716-633 77094 Collect
very least make an attempt to
something, , and if I'm
lucky something intelligently
spectacular.
Thoughts of past
complaints saying "write
something controversial" and
"it's the editor's duty to start a
topic" echo. through empty
voids in my mind.
Youknow the
. .
commercials "the pressure's
on gettin' higher, the
difference is yoa.stay drier"
and "never let them see you
sweat." 'Funny, such
prophetic words could come
from deodorant.... excuse
me, antiperspirant ads. I don't
know about you, but in my
book they're words to live by.
So what do Behrend
students live by? Bye, bye
Miss American. Pie? By hook
or by , crook . ? By, the
wayside?(possibly). I gueSs
the world will never kno.
For that matter, do we? If
you do, enlighten us.
Did you ever write ,
something with absolutely no
coherence whatsoever? This._
1r.rz.4..1,,
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CollegiAm Spy Photo:
Dhalkea an the. Neighboihood
SPC MOVIE
MARCH 16, 18, ,19, 20
The only
PREGNANCY
'TESTyou can take
with a pencil.
Take dus test and see how much
you know about pregnancy'
and birth control If you score
••:,, high. you're wayabove aver
.„..‹... '
„ age. If you score low. were
all in trouble. It may stein
like some of the questions aren't directly •
related to reproduction. But the facts of Itk :
arctic just physical. • - . .
.. .
I. You cant get pregnant when -
,
•
0 That or 0 False? . s .
2.lbu cant get pregnant the flrsttime.
0 Itue or 0 False? ).
3. Thu wont get pregnant tfyou...
0 a. do it standing up •
0 b. douche with sock
oe. dont have an orgasm 1 ;
0 d. any of the above
10 a none of the above 1
; l
4. Condoms area weak. and risky method ~,,
of bath contra • - -
. 0 Trueur 0 False?
,-
5. The chances of a girt getting pregnant ( I
wuritentionally before shek 20 years old b.l.
4 '
' —-' 0 a. about iln 10 2 i
k ,
frs, but getting gh. :
''',. ob. about I lu
in ser
but getting lower
0 c. about 1 to 3 P
,• . .
6. How many teens with babies graduate : •
from high school? . !
l•
oa. almost all ob. about hall% I
/
.. ~_0 c. about lln 3 ' . . ;, .
. t :
' I The mini:set of American teenaee rs who 1 :,
' get pregnant ensy year b... .I.
oa. 15000 ob. 250300
oc. 1 =Lion s ,
could be one of those times.
In an effort to occupy your
attention for five minutes I've
successfully managed to expel
the notion of organized
writing.
Oh well. You write some
you don't. I suspedt this
article exemplifies the latter.
/// /
Imam
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8. You nevi your parents permission to get
safe. effective both control.
0 'hue or 0 False?
a A teen can get appropriate.
s. low-cost birth control
at any...
&me drugstore
'T. - 1.-"j'al i. ❑ b. Planned Parenthood
c. either one
How do you
SCORE?
7.9 CORRECT: If axxe to=
knew even this much about birth
controL there wouldnt be ao many
unintended pre The rail
question is: why dont they?
♦-6 CORRECT: The facts aide are
no big genet. 11' you haveert been
given the Irdonnatlon you need to
rnakeyour own petatx&4l dementia
ancaotnexie who knows and carew
0-3 CORRECT: If you're tuning ace
without using Wein:Enrol. gin the
answers you need non—before Ws
too late. Re conddennal help and
trdoennolon. ad! Planned Parent
hood allele tot the phone book.
gl Planned Parenthoocr
I, Federation of Amenca
photo by: Rob Prindle
n) Severes Abenue
New Ibek.NYloot9
zleysi wegadeY.
by Steve :Aller
...why you're always one bottle short of a case every
y . 0it . ..50 :Ur return it? .
...why the only time somebody wants to play with
your toys is when you are?
...why the only socket missing from the toolbox is
the one you are looking for?
...how high the average GPA of all college students
would rise if the Prohibition amendment were
reinstated?
...why 7:00 am always seems too early to get up,
regardless of what time you went to bed?
...what you would do if you knew you only had a week
to live? A day? Half an hour?
...just how popular jeans would be today if Levi
Strauss had chosen the color orange instead of blue?
...how many students would never make it out of bed
in the morning if caffeine was found to be a cancer
causing compound and banned from the consumer
market?
...just how much 'free will' God gave to man?
...about the definition of the computer term 'user
friendly'? I haven't figured out yet whether I'm the
user or the usee.
...why the only track on an album that is scratched
is the one you want to listen to?
...why GE hasn't yet manufactured a refrigerator
with a time lock for serious dieters?
...why Lipton calls it's '037) of Soup' what they do...it
only makes a little over six fluid ounces if you
folloW the directions on the packet. A 'cup' is eight
ounces
„just who, came up with the idea of putting ridges on
ffl-s P.t. • hi.
...who was the last person to drink out of the
returnable bottles of sodas that you buy at the
grocery_ store?_ . .
...if mice have any brains? Mier - just hoer long
ago was the basic mousetrap invented?
...why anybody would take even the smallest risk of
having an explosion go off three inches in front of
their face (according to the warning stickers) by
using a Bic lighter?
...why people who claim to have forgotten everything
that happened while drinking the night before never
fail to remember what a great time they had? How
would they know?
Editorial Policy
The Behrend Collegian's editorial opinion is deter
mined by the Editor, with the Editor holding final
responsibility. Opinions expr sced on the editorial
pages are not necessarily those of the Behrend Col
legian,The Behrend College, or The Pennsylvania
State University. The Cony Jounal, the publisher of
the Behrend Collegian, is a separate corporate in
stitution from Penn State.
Letter Policy: The Behrend Collegian encourages
on news coverage, editorial policy and University af
fairs. Letters should be typewritten, double—spaced,
signed by no more than two people, and not longer
than 400 words. Students letters should include the
semester and major of the writer. All writers should
provide their address and phone number for verifica
tion of the letter. The . Collegian reserves the right to
edit letters for legnth and to reject letters if they are
libelous or do not conform to standards of good taste.
Postal Information: The Behrend Collegian
(898-6221) is published fourteen times annually
(seven times during each academic -semester at The
Behrend College) by the students of The Behrend
College; the Reed Union Building, Station Road,
Erie, Pa
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