The Behrend beacon. (Erie, Pa.) 1998-current, December 07, 2010, Image 7
he Crave - Vulnerable and Distraction Seeking? TORIE CRAVEN sex columnist In a moment's notice, your life can be completely turned upside down by a major event. Whether that event be a death in the family, a failing grade, or a recent break up, everyone deals with pain dif ferently. So, here is where my ques tion arises: when you aren't in a relationship, is it acceptable to participate in sexual activi ties during an emotional time in someone else's life? Some people may think of asking a The CHRISTINA BEONDY copy editor "Absence diminishes me diocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind ex tinguishes candles and fans fires." -Francois de La Rochefou But how does one continue to fuel a fire? How can one keep their passions strong with out constant contact? If sex is the epitome of passion, then why is the advent of sex in a relationship its only downfall? It takes strength to open up ones heart to another and Put thought into gifts ASHLEA INNISS It's almost Christmas and that means a gdod amount of money is going to be thrown away on meaningless gifts. People don't put thoughts into gifts anymore. You buy some body a new iPod because it's the new thing - well, take it a step further, especially if you're already shelling out $2OO or more on a new iPod. A letter from the Editor - last issue's Opinion Page I would like to take just a moment about the sex column, and while the content of this arti cle may not be as entertaining as "The Crave," it is something that needs to be addressed. There has been a mixed reaction from readers concerning the sex column, as while some enjoy it, some people also feel it is too much. The sex column is not meant to get cheap readership by using shocking material sex is a legitimate topic for college students. Executive Board Editor in Chief: Connor Sattely editor@psu.edu Managing Editor: Adam Fracassi alsssB9@psu.edu Web Editor: Stephen Fyfitch stfso264psu.edu person for sex when they are mentally unstable as taking advantage of them, and I'd have to agree in certain situ ations. For example, is it accept able to sexually approach a girl when she has recently broken up with her boy friend? We have all seen the movie scenes when guys de scribe the ultimate time to "pounce" on a girl is when she is weak and vulnerable. How cruel can you be to see another human being in emo tional pain and decide to use the situation to your advan Sexual State of Things: It is not a Game a greater amount of self-con trol to close off the body. So if one opens up their heart and body simultaneously, why do these kinds of relationships seem to fail so readily? My answers to these ques tions only come out of per sonal experience; my own many personal failures to find love in sex and to not lose it. Love at the end of the day is the only great universal com municator, so sex as it applies to love is the only taboo topic. I took a trip out to Cleve land to visit a friend - we will call him Kidrobot - and though finding sex was not a priority, finding love was. If there was anything that I had learned over the years it Buy them a new iPod loaded with a play list. A play list where you took the time to think about the person, who they are, what you want to tell them, or just anything to personalize it and make it a special gift from you. stall writer You shouldn't even have to spend that much money. I don't believe any Christmas gift should cost more than twenty dollars. There are ex ceptions, like buying a gift BRANDON BOYD opinion editor Business Manager Dan Whiteford djws236@ psu.edu Faculty Advisor Inkyu Kang iukl4gt psu.edu Marketing Manager Mike Wehrle maws397(' psu.edu Torie Craven, our sex columnist, plans to dis cuss sex and issues concerning sex and col lege students, in a way that is acceptable for a newspaper and won't go over the line. Her column is developing itself, and as long as all goes as planned, it will continue during the spring semester. Still, even when discussing sex, there is a line, and the last opinion page crossed that line, specifically with the "text from last night." I will not get into how the "text from last night" got into the paper, but I can say that Sports Editors: Elese Merkovsky eams2l7(a psu.edu Alec Italian News Editor: Katie Duffy keds2llta psu.edu aji50370 psu.edu Asst. News Editors: Julie Morrissey jmn161640 psu.edu Opinion Editor: Brandon Boyd bmb52900. psu.edu Toby Keller trk50520/ psu.edu tage in order to get laid? What happens if the tables are turned and the emotional ly wrecked person comes onto you? What now? You can't help that you just happened to be in the right place at the right time, when someone else decided to distract them selves from their heartache with some sex, right? That's where it gets iffy. There's a thin line between going with the flow and intentionally ig noring the right thing to do. I don't think you can truly tell with an emotional person whether their intentions are was this; finding a substan tial physical connection is not one in a million, though find ing a substantial emotional connection is. The qualities and attributes that give way to a feeling of "like" or "want" differ from individual to indi vidual, and yes, physical at traction always plays a role. Kidrobot made me laugh; feel wanted and cared about. He was as upbeat as I am and as spontaneous and quirky. He was a musician, a chef, and an adult. His worries no longer resided in the realm of college drama; he was every thing I looked for. Though, after leaving I found myself forgetting the very reasons that led me to for your significant other or your child, and I'm not say ing substitute quality just to save money. I'm saying spend more time thinking up a gift that isn't purely material and has a deeper meaning. I mean, come on! Wouldn't it be a lot more fun if everybody made their friends gifts for Christmas instead of going out and buying them that oh so-classic lotion set or the su per spectacular gift card that can be spent anywhere? The possibilities are end less! Do you like to paint? Paint your friend a picture! Do you enjoy writing? Buy spe cial stationary and write your friend a letter! Do you like to sew? Make your friend a quilt; it would come in handy on the cold Erie nights. The bottom line is you don't have to go out and spend a ridiculous amount of money on some thing for your friends instead spend a ridiculous amount of time creating something they will cherish and remember for the rest of their lives. THE BEHREND BEACON 4701 College Drive Erie, PA 16563 Reed Building Telephone: (814)-898-6488 Fax:(814)-898-6019 Editorial Board Culture Editor Shannon Ehrin sbesol7<@psu.edu Senior Layout Editor: Evan Koser emkslloo psu.edu Showcase Editor: Nathan Carter nrc50690/ psu.edu purely inspired by attraction or rather by an urge to dis tract themselves from reality with a few moments of sexual pleasure. The best thing to do may be to avoid any sort of sexual situations with some one who may not be in the correct state of mind to make such a decision. Personally, I view emo tional vulnerability parallel to excessive drunkenness. Even if they are the one to suggest the two of you get intimate, be mature enough to recog nize that it is not the correct time to partake in such acts my travel. There was never a moment during my trip that I questioned my motives, till I left. Once I was away, all I found myself doing was ques tioning and feeling insecure about where I stood in his eyes and in my own. I myself am impulsive and spontaneous, caring and frank, though I find myself being none of these things when my heart is on the line. The opportunity for sex is unavoidable at times, but regardless of avoiding or ac tually engaging, the hope for love is also unavoidable. But what I find now is that sex as it applies to ones overall emotional actualizations will always be ambiguous. Sex is Children ruin shopping TALIA FINOTTI As a woman, I enjoy shop ping. I like all types of shop ping: grocery shopping, clothes shopping, Christmas shopping, and it goes on and on, but there is one thing that ruins a shopping excursion - screaming, spoiled children. I don't hate kids - they may weird me out - but that's a dif ferent conversation. It's not hard to notice these children, they are literally heard from a mile away and they get into all sorts of crap at the stores. They are running around and most likely you can hear their mother hollering at them from three aisles away. Are you effing serious!?! Get your kid under control -- perhaps try calf-wrangling. Children who run around the store like they are on speed and screaming how they can't have the newest num num's that are in the candy aisle or at the cash reg ister put your shopping ad- it was a last minute decision. It is something that is regrettable and if I could, I would take it back. As editor-in-chief Connor Sattely put it: "it was the worst thing in the paper this week." I completely agree with Connor - it should not have run, bottom line. When something like this happens, there are three options an editor can take: ignore it, blame it on someone else, or take the blame. The inappropriate content is not something to be ignored, and I'm not going to put the blame on someone else when I'm the one putting the content on to the page. This is a job I take se- Copy Editors: Christian Beondy ernbssoloLpsu.edu Lindsey McCoy Igrnso4ootpsu.edu Videographer: Mike Filitz mjfs2o4@ psu.edu and may be better to offer a nice dinner instead. Offering words of comfort rather than a roll around in the sack may be just what this person may need. And who knows...may be your kindness will eventu ally lead to some sex - when the time is right. PS: I want to hear from you!! Anything specific you as the readers want to see in the next article? Something you're too afraid to let your roommates catch you re searching? Let me know!! Additionally, fellas, I'm cu rious - what do you find most the expression of the inex pressible. One can easily get lost in it and throw caution to the wind because it just feels so damn good. When sex becomes in volved, the lines between the emotional, as it applies to the physical - and vice versa - blur. Contemplating this very phenomenon generates more questions then it actually an swers. I can only take everything in stride. There's no point in trying to steer any relation ship in a certain direction, any attempt to do such will always result in failure. Sex cannot be allowed to dictate emo tions, as much as emotions cannot be allowed to dictate ventures at a screeching halt. They scream, stomp, and hol ler, wanting the newest choc olaty goodness or the new est Barbie or action figure, and what do the parents do? No, they don't wrangle them, that's for damn sure, though that's what they should do! No, they give them the frig gin thing they are going bal listic over! WHY! Tell me WHY?! Why on God's green Earth would you reward your child for such horrible, non rewarding behavior?! They are embarrassing you as you are getting the death glare from many by standers, and you know this look whether you have gotten it or you've given the look. It looks a little something like the stink eye, but we can call it the "shut-your-kid-up-be fore-I-point-my-death-rays- out-of-my-eyes-at-you-and- your-brat!" I don't have kids of my own, but wouldn't it make sense to not give the object to them? I know it's an out there staff writer bmb5290 ,, psu edu, be no more than 33(1 ords, and include the Business Editor: writer's name and phone number. Letters may he edited Mr mn tent or length at the editor in chiefs discretion. Arica Christman The _maim_..oes not publish anom. mous letters to d Beacon d axc9Bl(iipsu.edu the editor. If students want their letters to be published, they must include their name. Photo Editor: Stephen F'yfitch stfso26q/ psu.edu Humanities Editor: The Behrend Beacon is editorially independent from the Penn Alli Heitzenrater State system. The Behrend Beacon Operates partially on Student a1h53690 psu.edu Activity Fee. and partially on advertising revenue. It is published every Tuesday during the school year except for before and during scheduled vacations, with exceptions for special issues. Science Editor: The editor-in-chief has the tinal authority on editorial dee] Ryan Gula slims, including, but not limited to, all columns, editorials. and let - rgg50290 psu.edu ters to the editor. Complaints regarding Beacon coverage of school events should he directed to the editor at editor° psu.edu. Asst. Photo Editor: Amanda Snyder ams6l22@ psu.edu Engineering Editor: Ryan Frankowski rsfsos4@ psu.edu physically attractive about a girl? Face? Body? If the latter, what part? Send me an e-mail at thecravepsbo gmail.com with your preference and maybe a little bit of why you prefer that specific potion of the female body! Please and Thanks!! • '-' ll 4 4 , i ir owe r . • - . • • sexual experiences. By allow ing sex or emotions to dictate anything, is to allow skewed perception to impact your life and psychological stability as it applies to the two. Sex and emotions can stand indepen dently from each other; it is getting the two to live harmo niously that creates confusion and anxiety. The only thing that I have gathered that makes any sense is that love as an emo tion, as a feeling, is devoid of actual logic or rationale. The true beauty of sex as it plays on the emotions is the uncertainty. It teaches us that we have to let go and let it - whatever it may be - steer it self. idea! Wouldn't it be teaching them a lesson? So, learn the methods of calf wrangling, or invest in a lease that in gen eral makes you look like a bigger tool than to begin with, but, hey, people will thank you for having a screaming horrible child. riously, and I have a certain responsibility to provide you, the reader, with what I feel are great opinion articles, while presenting them in a pleasing way. What was put into the paper during the last edition did not accomplish this, and for that, I apologize. I look forward to the spring semester, and providing the Behrend campus with more opinions from Behrend students. I aim to im prove and ensure that inappropriate material like the "text from last night" does not run on my page again. Editorial Policies Additional copies can he purchased with permission el tin editorinThief for $1.50 each. Opinions expressed herein aro not noces,aritythosit ot,ill air dents, faculty or University administration. Opinions itxpro, , ed in columns. cartoons, and letters are nut necessarily thot,t , of TM Behrend Beacon unless otherwise indicated Any letters intended for publication mum In addrt, , ed ti -7 -. ot-le Fhckr Creative Commons Guillermo