BEHREND BEACON
April 30, 2010
www.thebehrendbeacon.com Opinion
BEHREND BEACON YEAR IN REVIEW
A look back at the stories that define the 2009-2010 academic year at Penn State Behrend
(ALL STORIES PRINTED WITH AUTHOR, THEIR STAFF TITLE AT THE TIME AT WHICH THE ARTICLE WAS PUBLISHED, AND DATE THE ARTICLE ORIGINALLY RAN IN THE BEHREND BEACON.)
MY VOICE
Need money fast?
Follow my guide!
As college students, we need
a way to earn some cash. After
tuition, food, and other ex
penses, we're left to be so poor
that we're begging homeless
people for some spare change.
What if I told you there was
a way to change that?
What if, by sr - -
we could aci
out of Pl
Behrend
than a $100,(
our names?
Barac
Obamt
would say,
"yes we
can!"
Step 1
Play the
lottery.
Every
one knows
that the
odds for
winning
the lot
tery are excel
lent, right?
Okav, not so
much. That being said, some
body has to win the thing. Why
not you? Go to your local store
and invest what you have in lot
tery tickets. That $2OO million
jackpot would look awfully nice
in your bank account, wouldn't
it?
Step 2: Participate in clinical
studies.
Why not become a human
guinea pig? Scientists need a
tester for a new shampoo? Vol
unteer! Someone needs to test
a new vaccine? Volunteer! Psy
chologists want to see the im
pact of a person living with a
tribe of cannibalistic savages?
Volunteer! Sure, you might
miss out on a few limbs, but
you'll have the money, and
Q SETA SAILS
Senseless census
ED MISETA
lei tiro - in economics
So, if you haven't heard, it's
U.S. Census time! That event
that comes along about every
10 years or so and enables the
U.S. government to waste even
more taxpayer dollars than
they normally do.
The total lifecycle cost of the
2010 census is now expected to
top $l5 billion dollars. or ap
proximately $4B for each per
son counted. It cost only $l6
per person in 2000 and a
measly 1 cent for the first cen
sus in 1790 (24 cents today, ad
justing for inflation).
I'm not sure where all of that
money is going, but I know
where some of it went.
I received two letters in the
mail telling me the census was
coming. I then received two
census forms (both to the
EXACT same address). And a
few days later I received two
postcards reminding me to fill
out my two census forms.
Sheesh. And then of course
there's all the money we had to
pay for those stupid Super
Bowl ads and those even stu
pider Franco Harris ads.
Hey - I don't mind a former
Steeler raking in a little extra
cash; I just prefer that it not be
my cash. Couldn't we have got
ten Icky Woods to do it for less?
He wasn't nearly as good as
Franco.
The commercials on TV lead
you to believe that we need an
accurate count of Americans so
that we know how many roads
and schools to build. So it
seems like we could have saved
a lot of money by just sending
everyone a postcard that says
"write down the number of
people in your house with their
ages." Drop it in a mailbox and
the job is done.
But it's not that simple. Ap
parently the government also
that's all that matters!
Step 3: Sell your body parts.
You only need one kidney to
survive, right? Those sell for a
couple thousand dollars on the
black market. And as a plus for
the ladies, you're sure to lose
a few pounds from get
[at kidney!
• sure that
need your
Sure, no
technically
either, but
. ain some
ill shell out
dollars for
:here's a
market for
.hose, too.
BRANDON BOYD Step 4: Al
ways help
senior writer
Princesses
Now this, my friends, is the
holy grail of making money.
This gives you the opportunity
to be like Mario and save the
princess.
It's simple: help a wealthy
foreigner move millions of dol
lars from their homeland, and
you get a cut of it. If they ask
for your credit card number
and Social Security number,
don't hesitate to give them it.
After all, some of them are doc
tors. Who would doubt a doc
tor?
If you don't want to follow
through with these steps,
there's only one option: get a
job. Just kidding. We all know
that isn't an option.
needs to know my race and
whether or not I'm Hispanic.
This left me a little confused.
Is the government planning
to build African-American
roads and Caucasian roads?
Are we going to suddenly have
Hispanic schools and non-His
panic schools?
If not, why do they need this
information? Why does it seem
that we are always trying to
build a color-blind society, ex
cept when it comes to anything
the government does?
Regardless, the government
will be disappointed with my
form. I did not complete the
race section or the Hispanic
section. And I did not provide
my phone number so that they
can call me to verify it. If they
stop me in my driveway, I will
give them my best "No habla
ingles."
In all, the U.S. Census Bu
reau has sent out over 425 mil
lion pieces of mail. They
acknowledge that approxi
mately 7%, or 28 million pieces,
are simply thrown away. Coin
cidentally, that is precisely what
is also happening with our tax
dollars.
But then another thought oc
curred to me.
Why is it that we need a cen
sus to decide how many
schools to build, but we do not
need one to determine how
many Wal-Marts, FedEx offices
or how many restaurants to
build?
Why is it that almost every
business in this country can an
swer these questions without
the census, but the government
can't?
It seems to me that by look
ing at the birth rates in any city,
we could determine how many
schools we need. And then we
could use that $l5 million to
buy school supplies, instead of
sending out hundreds of mil
lions of pieces of paper.
MY VOICE
Valentine's Day.
Two words that either make
people giddy with excitement
or cringe in disgust. I'm one of
the cringers.
What is it with this so-called
"holiday" anyway? I've never
understood why men feel the
need to buy their special some
one a dozen roses or chocolates
specifically on this day when
they could do it any day of the
year.
It's preposterous that guys
even need a reaon to buy their
girlfriends or wives flowers to
begin with. Why can't they be
spontaneous for once in their
lives and give flowers on a day
that isn't a holiday, birthday or
silly one-month anniversary?
ou're will
o sacrifice
What also bothers me is that
the male population always
seems to go for the stereotypi
cal red roses.
ye, arm, or
for the glo
ms green
[per, have at
Really, guys? You can't be a
tiny bit more creative than that
and go the extra mile? You can't
aim a little higher and at least
make an effort to try and per
sonalize the flowers? Granted,
showing up with red roses is a
grand gesture since they are
rather expensive, but that's an
even better reason for trying
something different.
I really don't hate Valentine's
Day that much, but I hate what
it has become.
I'm sure
MY VOICE
Many students at Behrend
partake in one of the biggest
debates on campus: which is
better, Behrend or University
Park?
I like to think that I have
some authority on the subject,
since I have experienced both.
I transferred to University Park
for my junior year and spent all
of last semester attending State
College. And then I transferred
back to Behrend.
So here is my declarative
statement on the everlasting
question: it depends.
For some people, University
Park really is a good fit. If you
know exactly what you want to
do, University Park has a lot to
offer. The wide range of classes
covers anything you could ever
want to know, and it offers ma
jors that Behrend doesn't. If
you grew up in a family where
everyone went to University
Park, there is a lot of tradition
and a lot of good connections
available to you at the big cam
pus. And there is something to
be said for Beaver Stadium
being a short walk away, as op
posed to a four-hour drive.
MY VOICE
Since 2005, Edward Cullen
has penetrated the dreams of
women across the country.
However, this is actually the
worst thing that ever happened
to the psyche of the teenage
American girl.
Why? Because it takes the
idea of a knight-in-shining
armor (skin in this case) and
takes it to the extreme.
It's natural for people to be
lieve in a "white knight." Man
or woman, everyone wants to
think that someone will come
into their lives and make them
happy.
The catch is that no person
can do that. The only person
who can make you happy is
YOU.
But now, thanks to Twilight, a
whole generation of girls are
being conditioned to believe
that Prince Charming actually
exists.
Now the astute reader may
think, "But people are smart.
Any person of normal mental
health is able to differentiate
between reality and fantasy."
I completely agree. Readers
know very well that vampires
don't exist. However, it's very
easy to believe that a man as
perfect as Edward Cullen does.
This is a completely unrealis
tic expectation to place on men.
No one is going to ride up to
you on a white steed and save
Issues with Valentine's Day
My second time around
Why Edward Cu
What used to be a day for
simply showing affection has
turned into another gimmicky
holiday, another reason to
spend money.
I won't deny that chocolates
and flowers are very nice and I
enjoy them.
I seriously
need to go all
spending moi
ish gifts. E'
though, there
be extra pro
have someone
something foi
spend the
with.
If you doi
have someon
the won
makes you fet
pretty shifty
about yours(
by over-adverts
ing for te(
bears and
mark cards.
There are al
ridiculous je\
elry commer
cials with the
melodramatic actors giving the
actress some type of diamond
heart necklace.
Maybe it's just me, but I can
not stand the silver heart jew
elry that is so popular around
this time of year.
Personally, University Park
just didn't make sense.
First of all, I tried to change
my major from journalism to
public relations over the sum
mer, after the application to
major process had already
wrapped up.
Communicatii
ment at Univei
impressive, 1t.,4
kind to am
changes their
late in the gam
n't figured out
what they want
with their livef
It was also
ficult to gt
used to au
size. The corn•
munication
program there
largest in the
This means
classes for my _
still had upwards
of 300 people in
them.
The first day I walked into
my Public Relations class (pop
ulation 370), the professor said,
"Don't even ask for a letter of
you from your problems. It is
up to you to find the power
within your own heart and
make yourself happy.
Another problem that Twi
light creates is that its protago
nist, Bella Swan, is a terrible
role model for impressionable
teen girls.
Bella professes her undying
love for him after seeing him
for the third time.
This basically teaches girls
that love is some magical force
and True Love actually exists
and that they are "destined" to
be with Mr Perfect.
[lnsert vomiting sound here.]
In the first novel's climax,
she willingly walks into a death
trap because she wants to sac
rifice herself for a man she's
known for all of six months.
If you were like me, when
you read that passage you
stood up from your chair, threw
the book across the room,
kicked your pet and screamed
"what the [expletive removed]!"
Now, not only do inexperi
enced young girls think that
someday some random jackass
will solve all their problems,
but that said jackass is worth
dying for.
Damn it! Women are already
too trusting of men as it is, and
7Wilight continues to make the
issue worse because Bella and
Edward don't actually have a
This is not what pretty jew
elry looks like to me. This is
what "I was lazy and couldn't
think of what else to buy" jew
elry, looks like. I'd like to see a
guy go out and search for
something original that no one
else owns. This makes a gift
)ecial and impor
me at least.
better, how about
forth some effort
ace a gift? Home
gifts are more
, rable and mean
anyway. This
.n't just apply to
either. Girls can
as easily create
iething nice, but I
ink that most of
time guys do not
Ipreciate it or just
Muse to show any
Treciation, so
sere is no point in
[king the time to
carne with a note
ultim. (Oar),
saying: "I folded a
hundred paper hearts, a heart
for each day my heart has be
longed to yours."
I would love to see a guy
make an origami flower or,
even better, an origami bou
quet.
recommendation at the end of
the semester. 1 don't know you,
and 1 never will."
That is a hard thing to deal
with coming from classes of 30
and close relationships with
professors at Behrend.
'hen there is the
that looks terri-
In paper, but still
Its for something
- eal life: I love
-end.
I'm a member
of the concert com-
HEL RE:
Ntdit fa,/
mittee, I work in the
athletics department
collecting stats, and I just took
a job as an R.A. In a month, I
am traveling to Boston for four
days with the Lion Entertain-
len will kill us all
reason for being in love.
Bella's only characterization
is that she loves Edward; and
Edwards only characterization
is that he's misunderstood and
-guess what- he loves Bella too.
If you read their dialogue,
you'll find that they don't actu
ally talk about anything.
The dialogue consists of:
"I love you," exclaimed Bella.
"I love you more," mumbled
Edward, sculpting his hair.
"OMG, let us frolic!"
Ready to claw your eyes out,
yet? That's the entire saga.
New Moon is even worse.
What does Edward do at the
first sign of trouble? He leaves!
Partners are supposed to
work though problems with
each other, not leave you
stranded in the woods.
New Moon's ending then pro
ceeds to tell the reader that Mr.
Perfect will come back after
leaving them.
Fantastic. I should install a
turnstyle in my doorway so I
can console my female friends
more efficiently.
Thanks to Edward and Twi
light, the Personal Counseling
Office better be expanding
for a massive influx of peo
ple in the next few years, be
cause when these teens get into
college, they'll need all the help
they can get.
A) It is free, and B) It will last
longer than any real flower.
There are maybe a million
and two other things that guys
could do for Valentine's Day,
but it seems that they always
take the .easy way out by con
forming to society's idea of
Valentine's Day.
Maybe another reason that I
dislike Valentine's Day so much
is because I've lost hope that
guys can do something out of
the ordinary or creative for
once. I don't want to general
ize, because there probably are
those guys out there some
where who know what they are
doing, but I've yet to encounter
one of them.
I've come to learn that the
best way to get through this day
is to not have any expectations.
My shell has grown hard from
all of the years that I've been let
down on this day, so no longer
do I hope for anything.
But I still feel like guys don't
know what they are doing, and
most girls expect more than
they will get in the end.
It's kind of absurd thinking
about how much time people
put into this holiday anyway.
Gifts are not the only things
that matter, and sometimes
words can mean more than
anything money can buy. What
a revelation.
e saw a gift of
ded hearts that
ment Board.
Life is not so rich at Univer
sity Park - it doesn't allow you
to get involved in the same way.
In the end, it's a highly per
sonal decision. My biggest
piece of advice is just to say -
don't be afraid to change your
plans. If you're on track to
transfer next fall but are hesi- .
tating, give it some thought-Or,
if you do trans* and it just
never starts to feel right or
make sense, you can always
come back.
I love the stu
it organizations
t all work so
'd, and the men
; I have here. I
how beautiful
.ampus is, how
the housing is,
closeness of the
I wouldn't trade
Iportunities here
thing.
Trust me. I'm a plans person.
Changing course in the middle
of my college career terrified
me, and it's one of the hardest
decisions I made.
But it's also one of the best.
At the end of the day, I knew
that when I looked back on col
lege I would think of Behrend.
Besides, I'm not done yet. I'm
not done finding ways to give
back to Behrend, the school
that gave me my start. I'm not
done learning from it and grow
ing in it. And I'm not done find
ing ways to help Behrend stay
its wonderful self, and maybe
become even better.
NEIL PETERS
opinion editor