81 Behrend Beacon () Y\
April 9, 2010 V/ VJ
I www.thebehrendbeacon.com
SAYS
Senseless census
So. if you haven't heard, it’s
U.S. Census time! That event
that comes along about every
10 years or so and enables the
U.S. government to waste even
more taxpayer dollars than
they normally do.
The total lifecycle cost of the
2010 census is now expected to
top $l5 billion dollars, or ap
proximately $4B for each per
son counted. It cost only $l6
per person in 2000 and a
measly 1 cent for the first cen
sus in 1790 (24 cents today, ad
justing for inflation).
I’m not sure where all of that
money is going, but 1 know
where some of it went.
I received two letters in the
mail telling me the census was
coming. I then received two
census forms (both to the
EXACT same address). And a
few days later I received two
postcards reminding me to fill
out my two census forms.
Sheesh. And then of course
there's all the money we had to
pay for those stupid Super
Bowl ads and those even stu
pider Franco Harris ads.
Hey - I don’t mind a former
Steeler raking in a little extra
cash: 1 just prefer that it not be
my cash. Couldn’t we have got
ten leky Woods to do it for less?
He wasn't nearly as good as
Franco.
The commercials on TV lead
you to believe that we need an
accurate count of Americans so
that we know how many roads
and schools to build. So it
seems like we could have saved
a lot of money by just sending
everyone a postcard that says
“write down the number of
people in your house with their
ages.” Drop it in a mailbox and
the job is done.
But it’s not that simple. Ap
'jWtferitly the government also
'needs to know mv race and
whether or not I’m Hispanic.
IVIY VOICE
If life was more
like a video game
Life is tough, tedious and
often rather mundane. It's no
wonder that video games have
become so popular is recent
years.
But what if life was more like
a video game? It wouldn't be
nearly as boring, but what
other cool things would hap
pen? Here are a few ideas.
Item I pgrades: Say you
started out as a freshman with
a lame Tl-.tO calculator. How
ever. when you passed your
first math test, it got upgraded
foraTl-81. The next one would
be an 89. then a 9.L Then you
could max out the item with a
laser cannon!
Medkits solve everything:
Regardless or the game or
genre, medkits ar.vays save the
day. h won't rr.a"er if vou need
open heart surgery or just had
NEIL PETERS
This left me a little confused.
Is the government planning
to build African-American
roads and Caucasian roads?
Are we going to suddenly have
Hispanic schools and non-His
panic schools?
If not, why do they need this
information? Why does it seem
that we are always trying to
build a color-blind society, ex
cept when it comes to anything
the government does?
Regardless, the government
will be disappointed with my
form. I did not complete the
race section or the Hispanic
section. And I did not provide
my phone number so that they
can call me to verify it. If they
stop me in my driveway, I will
give them my best “No habla
ingles."
In all, the U.S. Census Bu
reau has sent out over 425 mil
lion pieces of mail. They
acknowledge that approxi
mately 7%, or 28 million pieces,
are simply thrown away. Coin
cidentally, that is precisely what
is also happening with our tax
dollars.
But then another thought oc
curred to me.
Why is it that we need a cen
sus to decide how many
schools to build, but we do not
need one to determine how
many Wal-Marts, FedEx offices
or how many restaurants to
build?
Why is it that almost every
business in this country can an
swer these questions without
the census, but the government
can’t?
It seems to me that by look
ing at the birth rates in any city,
we could determine how many
schools we need. And then we
could use that $l5 million to
buy school supplies, instead of
sending out hundreds of mil
lions of pieces of paper.
a limb crippled, just touch a
first aid kit and you’ll be back
in top shape. Imagine how this
would help our country. We
wouldn’t even need universal
health care. Hospitals could
just install a drive-though “first
aid kit pick up window."
Everyone’s a “chosen one:”
Everybody loves a hero. If life
was more like a video game,
then everyone could be one!
Imagine what an esteem
booster it would be if you be
came the savior of the entire
human race.
Level up to Stat Boost:
Okay, say that you really can’t
wrap you brain around a cer
tain subject. Differential Equa
tions is just too complicated or
that 10 page essay is no coming
along well.
If college were more like a
game, with every problem you
worked or sentence you wrote,
you would gain some experi
ence. Eventually you’d level up
and be able to put a bunch of
points into your intelligence.
Suddenly, you are way smarter
and can have a larger pool of
AP for your other abilities!
Saves/Respawns give us an
opportunity to correct our
mistakes: Say goodbye to
failed exams. From now on,
you just get to “Save” before
each test, and if you fail, you
just get to start over and try
again. Saves have nearly infi-
nite uses. Let’s say that you
are going on a date with that
special person who you’ve
liked for a long time. You’d
never need to worry about say
ing the wrong thing or making
a fool of yourself. If things
went bad, just reload from your
last save and try again.
Breaking random objects to
find items and money: You’re
desperately in need of cash or
food. Don’t worry - all you
need to do is break every vase
or crate you see.
MY VOICE
/A hard decision for the right reasons
With the year quickly wind
ing down, I have begun to think
back on the first two years of
my college education and how
much I have learned here at
Penn State Behrend.
For most of my life, I knew 1
wanted to go to Penn State. My
mom, my dad and a number of
other family members are Penn
State graduates, and I knew it
was where I belonged.
I wanted to go to University
Park right away, but I knew that
going to such a large campus
after graduating from a small
school would make it hard to
adjust to college life.
After taking some time to
think about it, I decided to start
my college education at
Behrend. I knew that the close
Ideation to home and the small
campus would help me better
prepare myself for University
Park.
As I prepare to transfer to
State College to finish my last
two years, I am beginning to re
alize how much I have learned
and how much Behrend has
prepared me to go on to Uni
versity Park.
My most rewarding experi
ence, by far, has been my op-
MY VOICE
Why I hate bandwagon
now s nhlor
Have Your Say:
Kymberly McClellan
freshman
biology
“I’m too busy to pick up news- “I saw it was the ‘Bare End
papers nowadays. I did see Bacon’ and thought it was
the front page and thought it funny. It caught my attention.”
portunity to work as a sports
editor for the Beacon.
As a journalism major, I have
learned an invaluable amount
of skills that will help
me in my career
as a sports
journalist
Bandwagon fans come along
tort. There’s al
that sucked the
tn and everyone
i’he next season,
.m is predicted to
best, and their
rywhere. People
tg all different
tparel and acting
'e been fans for
.ample, the Pen
one cared about
years ago. You
:o get tickets the
or even 10 min
-e the game. Not
but you were
o get tickets for a
leap price. 1 still
imember when I
right behind the
paid $75 for my
ticket. That was until Sidney
Crosby and Evgeni Malkin
jfciM THERE Ng&r
Rebecca Coombs
sophomore
MIS
I have seen my writing im
prove dramatically over the last
two years, and I have learned
how to edit and layout a news
paper. I have started the foun
dation I need to have a
successful career in the journal
ism field.
Although the journalism ex
perience I have gained is irre
placeable, it is the
relationships that 1
have made that I will
truly remember as
ICK BLAKE
sports editor
came around in 2006. No one
watched the games before that
or had to sit outside Mellon
Arena because they couldn’t get
in the Igloo. Now you’re lucky
to get tickets, or you have to
pay an arm or a leg for a ticket.
Even when the Pens have a
game, just look around and you
basically only see two names
on the back of jerseys-Crosby
and Malkin. It’s a rare occasion
to see any other name, except
sometimes you see a Mario
Lemieux jersey.
One way to tell a true fan and
a bandwagon apart: people
who can tell you who the Pens
beat to win the Stanley Cup,
usually they can’t. They don’t
necessarily have to know hard
facts, but at least know when
they play.
What’s most frustrating is
that the loyal fans who went to
every game can barely get a
MINE? GOT WI-FI.
What were your thoughts on the
"Bare End Bacon"?
Jeff Keeler
freshman
undecided
“I loved the article on Eugene “I liked the Eugene Cross
Cross. You downplayed his article. The rest of it sucked.”
beauty, though.”
All profile photos taken by Daniel Smith / Behrend Beacon
For everyone who knows
what it is like to be in the Bea
con newsroom on Thursday
night, it is hard to believe that
it could be missed.
Even though some long,
sleepless nights were spent in
that room, some of my most
memorable experiences at
Behrend happened there as
well.
The small group of people
that I work with on a weekly
basis is easily going to be what
I miss the most from Behrend.
I have learned so much from
the group of editors that I work
with, and that is just as valuable
as anything else that I have
learned.
As I go on to University Park,
1 will be diving into the broad
cast side of journalism, and
there will be a number of new
experiences that come with
that.
I will not forget all the things
that I have learned here at
Behrend, though, and 1 am very
proud to have worked with
everyone on the Beacon staff. I
am glad that 1 am able to call
them my friends, and I could
not have imagined working
with any other group.
fans
ticket to see a game
One of the most embarrass
ing things is when Sidney
Crosby played for the Canadian
Olympic hockey team. The
young athlete ended up scoring
the winning goal against the
United States, clinching a gold
medal win. Instead of cheering
for him so called, “Penguin
fans” were calling him a traitor
and were unhappy with the out
come. The point is, who cares.
He’s a Penguin.
I’m not saying that no one is
a true fan. I know many people
who have been supporting the
Pens, and they wear their jer
seys all year long or have old
school T-shirts. They talk about
the season m come way before
others. What kills me the most
is that these people are suffer
ing because bandwagon fans
come in and make it impossible
for us to see a game.
inion
Chris Marchini
freshman
undecided