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www.thebehrendbeacon.com
CAMPUS CULTURE
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TELEVISION
"OH YEAH!" OH NO,
FAMILY GUY
"Don't you ever compare me to Family
Guy, you hear me, Kyle? Compare me to
Family Guy again, and, so help me, I will
kill you where you stand! Do you have any
idea what it's like? Everywhere I go: `Hey
Cartman you must like Family Guy, right?'
`Hey your sense of humor reminds me of
Family Guy, Cartman!' I am nothing like
Family Guy! When I make jokes, they are
inherent to a story! Deep situational and
emotional jokes based on what is relevant
and has a point, not just one random inter
changeable joke after another!"
South Park hit the nail on the head with
that quote. Never has there been a show
as undeservingly popular and brainless.
Family Guy is a series whose basic idea
is a complete carbon copy of The Simp
sons (drunkard father, a gambling but
voice-of-reason wife, a daughter who is a
social outcast, a stupid son, and a dog with
human qualities).
The only difference is that instead of a
baby that never talks, this one never shuts
up.
The stories, while mostly being plot rip
offs of much higher quality shows, just
feature the same kind of joke but with a
different pop culture reference each time.
"Remember the time..." insert Chuck
Norris, George Bush, Kool-Aid Man, etc.
These references hide the fact that none of
the episodes have a good story. The bad
writing of the shows can easily be hidden
and disguised with unrelated references
and parodies, which take no talent to write
and fool the casual viewer into thinking
they are watching a television show.
Numerous talented artists working
today have spoken out against Family Guy,
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Creative Corrimons: pHeLe
Even after being cancelled in 2001, Family Guy gained a cult
like following strong enough to raise it from the dead.
Valentine's Day.
Yes, it's that beloved time of year again. The time when
pink and red hearts pop up everywhere you turn, Hallmark
displays new and improved love-themed cards and girls be
come either excitedly happy or very angry at hearing any talk of
love.
Oh, the power that this day has over humanity.
No longer is Valentine's Day just about showing love and affection, but
it has become a tormenting hassle for most of the population.
"I don't care for Valentine's Day too much because it's too overly dra
matic," says division of undergraduate studies freshman Ny-ke Stewart.
"If you don't have a valentine, people are like, 'What am I gonna do?'
People expect to be with a guy or a girl."
For those who are single, this day conjures up feelings and memories
that some may wish to forget. People in relationships might enjoy the
whole "lovey-dovey" aspects of this day, but those single girls and guys
who have been through heartbreak know that they cannot escape any
reminders a week or even a month leading up to Feb. 14.
It does not really matter if you are in a relationship because
everyone has had bad experiences with love, and Valentine's Day
does nothing to help.
Valentine's Day is a holiday like many others, full of so
many sweets and sweet moments, yet so taunting in the
worst way.
American Greetings has a Twitter account
specifically for Valentine's Day and even has a count
down on their website to the second.
While Va lentine's
. Day does not have to be
about having an intimate connection with
someone, society leads us to believe this:
you either have someone, or you don't. If
you don't, then that's too bad. Ben and
Jerry's will benefit off of your lone
liness. So will Redbox.
Everyone wants someone to
share Valentine's Day with.
Anyone who disagrees
with this statement ei
ther does not realize
it or just
refuses to
admit it.
People in
rela
tion
DAN KINEM
senior reporter
SHANNON EHRIN
asst. culture editor
trying to make people realize the show is
completely overrated, generic trash.
Ken Tucker of Entertainment Weekly has
frequently panned the show, grading with
a "D" and naming it the worst show of the
1999-2000 television season.
John Kricfalusi, creator of Ren & Stimpy
said, "If you're a kid wanting to be a car
toonist today, and you're looking at Family
Guy, you don't have to aim very high. You
can draw Family Guy when you're ten
years old. You don't have to get any better
than that to become a professional car
toonist. The standards are extremely low."
Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators
of South Park, compare the show's repu
tation among other animated shows to the
way serious musicians feel about Justin
Timberlake.
The main problem is not only do many
people think this show is hilarious, but
people are constantly quoting the show
and running off at the mouth about how it
is "The best show on TV!," not realizing
that they themselves could write the show.
It is as basic as a show gets and takes lit
tle-to-no talent to write and produce.
Shows like The Simpsons and South
Park, which have talented writers working
on them actually have morals and points
to their shows. At least 85 percent of the
jokes further the plots, unlike the closer to
five percent on Family Guy.
South Park is a relevant social satire and
The Simpsons shows the importance of
family. The episodes make points and go
beyond random gag humor.
To reiterate the genius of the South Park
quote above, the episode "Cartoon Wars"
satirizes Family Guy's writing staff by
showing manatees in tank verbs, nouns
and pop culture references by putting
them together to make jokes in each
episode.
As ridiculous as it may sound, it feels
like that could easily be the case, and if
you can't realize that then you are pretty
Nearly every plot on Family Guy has al
ready been done years before. The fact
that the show came back on the air is one
of the biggest television tragedies to date.
The only thing that can be said to people
who actually think Family Guy is a good
show is, "good for you, keep frying your
brain with this mindless drivel. It sepa
rates the people who find humor in ran
domized poorly written gags and people
l who enjoy a show that has quality and
is equally as good as it is funny."
It cannot be said enough,
'please do not support this show.
/The more it is on, the dumber its
audience becomes.
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ships
have that extra pressure to
make this day "right," when usually all
of the planning goes awry and nothing turns out
the way it was supposed to be anyway.
"People who don't have someone say it's a waste of
money," says Kevin Jackson, a senior majoring in psychology.
"For those who are in a relationship, it's a day to be extra romantic."
Valentine's Day was originally not a day of love. Although the
holiday dates back to 500 AD, gifts were not given until as recently as
the middle ages.
Granted, that is a long time ago, but Valentine's Day has evolved im
mensely since then.
At that time there were no Kay Jewelers or Hallmarks.
Life was much, much simpler and all the fuss of Valentine's Day' did
not exist...entirely. People did take the time to give small tokens to
show their affection, but this did not include lavish diamonds or intri
cate. bouquets of red roses. These were heartfelt gi ft s.
Even the words "I love you" do not have the same impact as they
used to, because they are thrown around so much. Saying those
words, at one time, was better than anything money could buy.
Flowers are lovely and smell wonderful, but they die. Chocolate
is delicious, but the taste does not last. Jewelry either tarnishes,
is lost or broken.
"It's a commercial holiday. Another way for big companies
to make money," says Willester House, a freshman major
ing in Electrical Engineering Technology
According to American Greetings, "the average con
sumer [spends] nearly $l2O on the holiday." That's
an astounding number considering how much
debt people seem to be in these days.
The overall figures are staggering, and
this will be another huge year with an es
timated $l4 billion expected to be
spent on gifts.
Valentine's Day is technically a
holiday, but really "Valentine's
Day is just another day,"
Stewart says
Hopeless romantic movie
goers can't be pleased
BRIE SPISHOCK
skfwriter
What ever happened to the
romantic film? The inspired
plots of classic literature have
all been drawn out in film,
from the simple love story
"Romeo and Juliet," to hip,
modern versions of the same
tale. These modern "Romeo +
Juliet" stories that demean the
true love story do so by pre
senting viewers with Leonardo
DiCaprio and his crew decked
out in tacky Hawaiian shirts,
wielding handguns.
True heroes of romance like
emotionally distraught Heath
cliff of Wuthering Heights have
been replaced by the creepy
vampire Edward Cullen in 71vi
light, who after 107 years. of
life still has no depth to his
character.
Using the perfect cheek
bones of Rob Pattinson, 71vi
light has made nearly every
girl in America want to be the
emotionless, dependent rag
that is Bella Swan.
After a slow progression of
settling for less and less in ro
mantic film heroes, girls nowa
days go goo-goo for practically
every "sensitive" male charac
ter in any movie and expect
every guy they meet at Wal
mart to be "the one."
The demise of the romance
film is not solely the fault of
the overdramatic and spiritless
"chick flick." There is another
culprit for the end of chivalric
romance in: film.
The male gender (like Leo
DiCaprio's character in Ti
tanic), after years of settling
for death in the cold Atlantic
waters because their size six
girlfriend refuses to move over
three inches and let him on the
door, have created their own
crude form of entertainment
mocking the traditional love
story
This is called the "romantic
ulture
comedy." Take something as
awkward in itself as love and
add outrageous scenarios like
catching your sensitive organs
in zippers on prom night or
using your girlfriend's favorite
luffa as a plunger after an un
expected bowel eruption, and
who is not going to get uncom
fortable on a first date?
Although the romantic com
edy usually ends happily, is the
crude mental abuse the audi
ence is put through to get there
worth it?
A suggestion for any of the
men out there: take your
Valentine's Day pickup lines
from Clark Gable or perhaps
Humphrey Bogart and leave
the vulgar Adam Sandler
quotes for some other day.
And ladies, read Breaking
Dawn before committing your
heart and first born • child to
Rob Pattinson as Edward
Cullen.
FILM
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