4 I The Behrend Beacon
55
The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to
assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. J
Women in the sexual market
Bv Evan Koser
arts editor
enika I l(K« psu.edu
"I don't get it. 1 thought women were
supposed to embody all that is romantic
and committal." my friend told me the
other week as we walked back from
Dobbins. Early on in the day. he appar
ently had been told by a girl he had
invested time in such as wooing.
flirting, "committing." snuggling on a
couch, etc that while she was inter
ested in him as well, he was merely just
"friend material" (oh but we can still
make out and have sex on occasion,
right i. Unfortunately for my friend, he
took it to heart and has been in a state of
depression ever since.
He raised a good point, though: since
when was it common for a woman to
behav e as a stereotypical man? Let it be
known that I have no opinion on the
matter other than this: I love women. 1
seriously see them as a hobby of mine.
Not in the "I'm a pimp" sense, or the
"I'm a jerk using you for sex" way: but.
in the way that I truly am fascinated by
the prospect of having women in my
life. My v iew is hard to explain, so I'll
try to put it this w ay. A woman to me is
not an object: she is not just an outlet for
mv sexual desire, nor is she the viclori
Jolio- you’re absolutly right
that presidents have to be
prudent in what they say...
An outsider’s opinion
By Jeff Kramer
stuff wrih’r
jsk.slM t" psu.edu
Hi. my name is Jeff, and I go to
Behrend. just like you. The difference
is that, unlike you. I'm from Vermont.
We do things like hang out. chill out.
relax, listen to Dispatch, hike, hang out
some more, swim in rivers, and do nor
mal people things. 1 write this column
every week to show you what a wicked
pissah living in Vermont is—it's awe
Tve noticed something in my month
and a half in Pennsylvania. People don't
do as much "outdoors-ie" stuff as they
do in Vermont. That was apparent to me
the first week I was here, hut over the
time I've spent here, it’s become very
clear: people don't often go out unless
they have to. In Vermont, we go and sit
on rocks in the woods, just to sit on
rocks in the woods. We party in hunting
camps. People drive to Trail Parking to
smoke cigarettes, even if they're not IS.
Beacon Thumbs Up
- Lower gas prices
- Hay rides
- Hockey season picking up
- Unique ringtones
ous pri/e of a sport. A woman is a per
son —with emotions, attachabilily. and
motives of her own. 1 like to be charm
ing. I like to win her respect and I like
to treat her like a goddess, though not in
the worshiping sense.
Back to the task at hand, though. The
question remains unanswered: why is it
becoming more and more common for
w omen to play —w hat once was thought
to be —a man's game? With the envi
ronment taken into consideration, one
might speculate that it's "just the way
college is." But is this really a legiti
mate justification for the behavior, or is
there something more to it? Perhaps it's
just that the idea of woman being sexu
ally introverted is just less taboo nowa
days than it has been ever before, and
it's here that 1 wish to stake my claim:
oh yeah, that's my kind of woman.
In point of fact, I'm no pig. There are
plenty of men out there who are sensi
tive. romantic, and willing to tie their
respective knots. Even I fall into that
category. I've never been one to be
afraid of taking chances. To accompany
those men. there are the women who
want nothing more than the "perfect"
boyfriend. However, there are just as
many ladies out there just "lookin' for
lov e." Not everyone wants to deal with
a relationship status. Some people enjoy
Maybe it w as just a high school thing,
but when kids would perform illicit
activities, they'd do that outdoors, too.
Stealing beers from the fridge and going
out to Baltell Woods or Chipman Hill
was common for most kids (they were
within walking distance, so there was
no driving, don't worry). About once a
week there would be a beach party at
Secret Beach behind the charred
remains of the Dog Team Tavern (the
owner killed himself and burnt the
building down after being arrested).
During the summer, we'd swim at
Upper Secret Beach. Lower Secret
Beach. The Gorge. Stony Beach, or
etc. —but rarely the pool. The town pool
wasn't even for people on the swim
team (they went to the college pool); the
tow n pool was for little kids. I didn't go
there once this year, but 1 swam nearly
every day.
Here's a funny story: one time 1 was
swimming with my friend Nate at lower
Secret Beach and we were pretty bored,
so we decided to follow the river down-
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Perspectives
a “no-strings-attached" romance. For
college, the latter is typically a better
choice —though I must reiterate I'm not.
in anyway, adverse to the other.
"Let’s face it," I told my friend, “if
you're desperate enough to throw your
self into a world of commitment aside
from the one that you've already given
your soul to [college], then you’re not
going to be able to handle yourself." I
insisted that if he really wanted a girl
friend, then he should perhaps try click
ing on the little square ads that frequent
ly pop up when browsing Facebook that
state, “Want a girlfriend? Chat with hot
girls on Singlesnet.com for free!
Thousands of girls in your area.” While
I've never actually known anyone to
click on the aforementioned link, it
makes me wonder (being that the site is
a dot-com) how Singlesnets make
money?
Clearly, the market exists for desper
ate and lonely males seeking some
female attention: I think men like my
friend need to understand that, while it's
nice to find a quality girl you know' will
treat you right, a "friend with benefits”
is fine too. After all, what’s better than
having someone “on call" for a good
night? Is having a nagging girlfriend
who complains that you never make
time for her better?
What?!
stream. At one point the river got about
lie inches deep, so we got out, and we
found a trailer park we'd never seen
before. Now. that's a big deal —every-
one in Vermont knows the area, every
road and how to get from one place to
another. To find some place we didn't
know was a big deal. We followed the
road out of it through the woods and up
to route seven. Then, on the way back
.we were both bitten by a large handful
of dragonfly larvae (do some research;
they're worse than leeches). That, in
combination with Jim and Seth’s leech
experience, led us to not swim at lower
Secret Beach anymore. People even
hang out around Otter Creek, though
nobody swims in it because it’s wicked
polluted, green, and all around disgust
ing. I knew somebody who jumped off
the tresell (railroad tracks on a bridge)
into the creek once and when he came
out. he was covered in slime. Gross. 1
wouldn’t recommend anyone trying
that.
Cartoon contributed by Jennifer Juncosa
The rules
By Jennifer Juncosa
perspectives editor
jdjso6l@psu.edu
1 love texting. I love that I can talk to
people during class, work, or whenever
I can’t talk to someone over the phone.
It’s the ultimate way to multi-task. I am
a journalism student who is an editor
for this paper on top of a course load
equalling 20 credits. I'd be lost without
it.
I text regularly and after becoming an
expert, I have to admit there are certain
things I hate. To know that my genera
tion is texting without follwing simple
rules disappoints me. So if you don’t
know them, here they are:
Rule number one. Try to limit your
self from texting while in the company
of others. If you are in a group of three
people, including you, it’s fair game,
they can talk to each other. Texting
while in the company of one other per
son gets annoying and the other person
feels like you are whispering. If you are
willing to share the contents of the
texts, then you can text.
Rule number two. Please don't text
“OK". It is a waste of a text and of time.
It's just annoying. If you must give a
signal that you received the message
add some fluff. “Ok, well thanks, see
you later." See what I mean?
Rule number three. Don't text “hold
on." ever. If I need to wait for an
The nice guy guide
By Neil Peters
asst, news editor
njpsoB3@psu.edu
In the world of romance, the “nice
guy" is an endangered species.
Whether due to a lack of decent parent
ing skills or the recent death of chival
ry. there are just less and less of us
around nowadays.
One reason may be that we have all
accepted the well-known fact that girls
love jerks. You don't believe me?
Allow me to elucidate for you with this
handy-dandy math equation:
"Girl + Jerk x emotion/physical
abuse = four to ten Year Relationship."
Whereas, “Girl + Nice Guy x Undying
love and Affection = Doormat.”
So, in order to assimilate to this crap
tacular environment, most have beaten
down and killed their true selves, and
put on the skin of the jerks they've
always hated and despised. But how'
can we blame them? No one wants to
die alone, but that is the fate we must
face.
Why believe otherwise? There are
mountains of personal histories that
each “nice guy" has which tells the
same tragic story. Each one of us has
had at least one girl who we cared
deeply for, and we've all seen the same
thing happen. She is used and abused
by some soulless parasite, who isn’t
even fit to own a pet, and all we can do
is sit back and watch in pain. What
makes it worse is whenever we try to
help, we are just told to “butt out.”
With all this data to support the
hypothesis that nice guys wont even
make it to the finish line, let alone place
last; the future outlook seems pretty
ulgy. So imagine my surprise when one
of my lady friends asked me where all
the nice guys were. After 1 changed my
soiled trousers, I thought about saying
“Well, there’s one standing three feet of
your current position in freshly clean
pants. Wanna give it a go?”
However, that seemed a tad forward;
so, 1 held my tongue and thought about
Friday, October 17, 2008
to texting
extended time before getting a response
then I will, but it is unnecessary to
inform me that you are not prepared to
answer at that time. It is also a waste of
time and a waste of a text.
Rule number four. If the conversation
has lasted more than five texts and
nothing has been resolved then it con
stitutes talking either in person or over
the phone. If certain situations prevent
being able to talk on the phone, the con
versation should be put on hold until
both parties can talk.
Rule number five. If the conversation
lasts more than five texts and one party
goes to call the other and the other party
does not answer the phone without giv
ing a proper reason (in the bathroom, in
class, at work) and then respond imme
diately through texts, then they are con
sidered a texting fool.
Rule number six. If you send a mes
sage and then the recipiant responds
with “what,” that does not mean that
they didn’t hear you and you need to
resend the exact same message. It
means “wow no way” or “please give
me more information.”
Rule number seven. Don't text under
the influence. Bad idea.
Texting is fun and simple. It’s some
thing my generation does reguarly and
it’s a shame that most don’t know these
rules. So please, next time you text,
keep these simple rules in mind. It
would make the world of texting so
much better.
what she said. Later, I asked her why
she said that. She stated that she’d had
bad experiences with men who
appeared to be nice guys, but were just
wolves in a gentleman’s clothing.
Maybe there was hope for my dying
breed after all? Maybe the problem was
that they just didn’t know who to trust
and could not identify the real deal
from the posers?
So, free of charge to the ladies of
Penn State Behrend who are in the mar
ket for a nice guy, but don't know
where to look, here’s my “guide to the
nice guy!"
- If he looks you in the eyes, then blush
es and looks away, he's a nice guy;
Odds are he didn’t have a whole lot of
experience with girls in high school.
He probably just doesn’t know how to
act. Try starting a conversation with
him and cut him some slack if he does
n't exactly say the right thing on the
first shot.
- If he's quiet and soft spoken, he's a
nice guy. Nice guys care for other peo
ple’s feelings. They often feel like a
jerk by telling others how they feel.
This is because they don't want to
weigh down everybody else with their
problems. This act of self-sacrifice is a
sure sign he’s a nice guy.
- If he holds a door open for you, offers
you an umbrella when it rains, helps
you if you drop something, etc., he’s a
nice guy; this is old-fashioned chivalry.
A classic calling card of the nice guy.
- If he works for any shelter, hospital,
or charity, he’s a nice guy. It shows he
cares about other people or beings over
himself. Very nice.
These are only a few of the countless
symptoms of a nice guy. Just remem
ber, no one is perfect. Even if you find
someone who does all of the things
mentioned earlier, he is not a god. If
you want to know what a nice guy real
ly is read closely, because here’s the
secret: he’s probably just a nice guy
who’s doing the best he can to do the
right thing. That’s it. So give the guy a
break and let him ask you on a date. I
promise you won’t be disappointed.
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