I The Behrend Beacon
Constantly stereotyping the sexes
By Chris LaFuria
sports editor
c , 151 (f, p,u.edu
When women approach men,
they immediately place a
stereotype on them. Every man
is labeled by these women as an
animal on the prowl. There are
the nice guys. the jocks, the
nerds, the momma's boys. etc.
Every cliche stereotype can he
used to describe each man that
is approached. What the major
ity of women fail to realize is
that, while they are completing
their thorough analysis of the
opposite sex, men too have
their way of conjuring a label
for the women they approach.
Some of these stereotypes are
beneficial for the dating and
relationship process because it
helps the male obtain insight as
to the type of woman he is
about to approach. On the con
trary, some of these labels that
are applied may he underesti
mations because entering the
dating scene is like shopping
for a new car. No matter how
convincing the car salesman is,
never he an impulse buyer.
Furthermore, without taking
the car for a test drive, any
potential buyer may miss an
opportunity for the car of their
dreams.
In the world of dating,
women can he divided into dif-
ferent species due to their com
mon behaviors and virtues.
The key to a successful car
buying experience, or relation
ship, is learning the many vari
eties of species into which
women can he divided. These
stereotypes may not be applica
ble to every woman, but these
are the most accurate descrip
tions of the sort of woman of
which the entire male gender
should he cautious.
The first species of woman
that all men should he aware of
is the high-maintenance beauty
queen. Don't get me wrong.
it's always a plus to court a
pretty lady, however, there are
certain signs to be observant of
to avoid being sold a clunker.
First of all, if you arrive at her
house and she is still in the
process of preparing her make
up and whatnot, chances are,
you will be frequently inter
rupted at the dinner table with
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her numerous and random com
pact mirror checks. The type of
woman that initiates conversa
tion with a comment about their
outfit or particular makeup
ensemble should definitely be
avoided
Unless you are an avid arm
wrestler, the next type of
woman comes with a truckload
of caution. Although evening
attire isn't the most essential
aspect of the date, being some
what vigilant of attire is expect
ed. If the girl shows up to the
date wearing Adidas sweats and
an athletic T-shirt, be cautious
of how you are greeted. If you
are greeted with a welcoming
hug and a bright smile, the date
is not lost. However, if she
shakes hands as if she is meet
ing a friend for a date at the
batting cages, jump back into
the car. Dinner conversations
about WWE and the Ultimate
Fighting Championship were
probably on the itinerary.
Cautious not only of the
amount of makeup, but of the
color of the makeup. The next
species of woman can be spot
ted by observing her finger
nails. Take a look to see if she
is wearing black nail polish.
Unless she is an avid Ashlee
Simpson fan, chances are, if
she leaves to use the restroom,
you can't be too sure whether
she dumped you or is in the
bathroom writing dark poetry at
razor point. Be aware of the
mood she is in. Sometimes,
with this species, it can be
deceiving.
While on the subject of
deceiving appearances, the next
species can be quite deceptive.
Somewhere in between Jewel
and Alan's Morrisette lies the
type of intellectual, Starbucks
fiend that will challenge your
intellect more than any profes
sor can. Surefire signs of this
type are detected easily. First,
notice her messenger bag. It it
has pins and buttons with The
Shins' insignia on it, she is def
initely this species. A few
other accessories are coffee
cups and cigarettes. Unless the
dinner consists of Tic Tacs and
Listerine, chances are you're
not going to want to hear a
secret from her. Also, if she
immediately asks what your
political affiliation is, chances
are you'll be more inclined to
PLII)E1 frll
vote than calling her hack.
Unless you plan on frequent
visits to the Emergency Room
and nights of holding a girl's
head over the porcelain throne,
avoid the next species of
female. If the only way you
received the woman's number
was because she was too intox
icated to know better, this girl
may be an alcoholic. If her
ideal date is a game of Quarters
or Beer Pong, I wouldn't expect
much dialog other than, "Can
you pass me another brew?"
There is nothing wrong with
enjoying a few drinks with a
prospective date (within the
legal age limit, of course),
however, binge drinking and 10
to 15 shots a night doesn't reg
ister as a successful relation
ship.
One type of woman that
should be avoided like The
Plague can be referred to as
"The Clinger." After the first
date, you may be hooked.
Chances are, she's not only
hooked you, but reeling you in
like a mad fisherman.
Evidence of this type can be
spotted if she calls your phone
13 minutes after you walk her
to the door. More evidence can
be found from a thorough
examination of the dinner con
versation. Avoid the stories
about ex-boyfriends that lost
interest. With her details about
how many times she called him
and how she stood outside his
door for three hours, we can all
tell why they lost interest. It's
always positive to have some
one that looks after you. But if
she becomes a shadow, chances
are you may want a new zip
code.
Just like the insects of the
world, the amount of stereo
types for women is infinite.
However, like the mosquito and
the Africanized bee, there are
many species that should be
avoided due to potential dan
ger. Even though tastes for
women may vary from male to
male, it is always necessary to
have some guidelines for what
to expect from different types
of women. The satisfaction
from driving a classy used car
may be exceptional, but the
agony of breaking down right
outside the used-car lot is dev-
astating
Sunglasses no longer just protection
By DeAdra Walker
fashion columnist
dim I 03 (0 p,ii.edt,
Despite the lies brought forth in the form of
Tuesday night's freak snow flurries, we are in fact
functioning in the month of April. That means that
spring, Erie's illusive season, is
upon us. The teasingly warm days
that place young men running
around outside of their dorms toss
ing around footballs and in shorts
will be seen more often. Young
ladies twirling in light flowing
skirts will soon become more fre
quent, as will the appearance of the
sun. Obviously. with the coming of
the warm weather and the wearing
of these skirts comes a barrage of
accessories that are used to accen
tuate these skirts. One of this sea-
son's most popular accessories is a pair of super
huge sunglasses.
Now. like many college students. an income
will provide for some sort of livability and thus
have a part time joh. In working at a local depart
ment store. I have the pleasure of watching this
particular trend up close and personall. These
Masses appear to be borrowed directly from the
sixties mod style- most commonly solid colored
and overly symmetrical. Their bulky and blocky
build causes them to fit halfway down their w car
er's face.
However, these glasses don't just play the prac
tical role of keeping harmful UV rays out of the
wearer's eyes. For the price of one
accessory, wearers are able to take
part in two different trends. They are
not only able to wear these glasses.
but also the lovely tan lines they leave
behind upon taking them off.
Because the rims fall more than
halfway down one's cheeks, the glass
es not only shield the eyes hut also the
entire face. Thus, one is left with a
face tan that would make even rac-
lines, the girls who wear these also
present a nice insect like appearance. Because of
the size of the rims, one can easily confuse these
girls with flying hugs. Who knows-- the next
swarm of bees that flies past you may just he the
trendy girls who sit in the hack of your history
class.
Friday, April 7, 2006
coons jealous.
In addition to not so elecant tan
On April 5, the Penn
State Behrend
Faculty Council
awarded students
who showed out
standing leadership
through various acts
of community serv
ice. The Honors and
Awards Convention,
which is held annu
ally every April,
took place in the
Logan House.