I The Behrend Beacon
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof: or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the j
right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. - The First Ammendment to the U.S. Constitution
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The State of the Union
By Patrick Webster
asistant managing editor
paw 175 @psu.edu
A long time ago, the State of the Union
wasn't even an address. The President
was just constitutionally required to
inform the Congress at least once a year
as to the state of the American Union.
This could be done in the form of a let
ter, a report or, if he wanted to, in per
son. Not until Woodrow Wilson did the
practice of personally addressing the col
lected senators and representatives in
congress did it become customary.
However, some-
where along the The president was
way, the President's
duty of delivering an
address to Congress
regarding the State
of the Union became
nothing more impor
tant or practical than
a mid-term cam-
paign speech and a
media circus.
The Union is
strong. Now let me
talk about how great
I am and what a
great job Fm doing
for the next hour.
Sadly, the address given by President
Bush on Tuesday was no better.
Everything he said, from the honoring of
a great American and wife of the Rev.
Martin Luther King Jr., Coretta Scott
King, to the vow to increase research in
ethanol in order to reduce dependence on
foreign oil, which has been made by
every president since the Nixon adminis
tration, was scripted for the sole purpose
of bettering public relations with the
White House.
No honest discourse on the problems
in our Union. No straight talk or
accountability for mistakes made in the
past year or new issues to be dealt with.
No, first and foremost, this was a PR
event. This wasn't a speech about the
State of our Union. This was a speech
about l' m-only-polling-at-39%-so-rd
better-remind-everyone-how-awesome-
I-am-and-let-them-know-how-danger
o us - the - w orl d- would - be - w i thou t - me .
He even chided Congress for not passing
his Social Security privatization plan
that didn't have the support he needed
from his own party, let alone the
Democrats.
The obviousness of it all sickened me.
Even Laura Bush, who would undoubt
edly he the focus of several camera
zooms and photo opportunities. made
just constitutionally
required to inform
the congress at
least once a year as
to the state of the
American Union.
best to marginal
ize themselves from their constituents.
The Republicans on one side stood and
applauded on cue to everything the pres
ident said with both the dependability
and emotion of a room full of robots,
devoid of free will. The Democrats, on
the other hand, did their best to convince
the world that they had all the maturity
of kindergartners, as Hillary Clinton
contributed by giving a sarcastic and
sickening smirk after every statement the
president made.
Even the Capitol police got in on the
act, making sure to arrest now-famous,
but of questionable capacity for inde
pendent thought, anti-war activist Cindy
Sheehan before the glorified campaign
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- Mailbox buddies who don't pick up
their mail.
- Roomates' guests leaving the toilet •.
seat up .
- Leaky Brunos cups
- Teachers all testing in the same week •.
- Bruno's being a half hour late with
CIAO's pizza •
speech could commence, along with the
wife of the senator she was invited by.
Of course, they released her the next day,
after realizing that she hadn't actually, if
you wanted to he technical about things,
broken any laws, and they issued an
embarrassing apology. Oops. That's just
what we need, guys. Another little seed
of doubt to cause people to wonder if it's
now illegal to hold political views that
are opposite of those of the party in
power.
Not that you care. None of this politi
cal stuff affects you. Try not to think
about the Republicans in Congress vot
ing along party lines this week to make
the biggest slash in federal student aid
and college loans in hisory. Don't worry.
It doesn't concern you. Go hack to
sleep.
IMEEI
ting beside two
very important
people: an Iraqi
woman and an
African
American man.
Undoubtedly
this would
reflect well on
the president!
What a champi
on of diversity!
At the same
time, the assem
bled congress
people did their
Submission
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share their views on this page.
Letters and commentary pieces can
be submitted by email to opin
ion@psu.edu or directly to the
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concise the submission, the less we
will be forced to edit it for space
concerns and the more likely we
arc to run the submission.
All submissions must include the
writer's year in school, major and
name as The Beacon does not pub
lish anonymous letters. Deadline
for any submission is 5 p.m.
Tuesday afternoon for inclusion in
the Friday issue. All submissions
are considered, but because of
space limitations, some may not be
published.
All submissions must include
consent to be edited before they
can be edited for publication.
The Behrend Beacon
Published Weekly h\ the students of Penn State Erie
Beacon
Assistant Managing Editor Calendar Page Editor
Patrick Webster Siobhan Conway
Penn State Erie,
The Behrend College
First Floor, The J. Elmer Reed Union Building
Station Road, Erie, PA 16563
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Stop Global Warming
By Michelle Vera Suroviec
photography editor
mis 1 2 1 @psu.edu
The errors of mankind which stem
from the decisions leading to World War
II are starting to come into full effect.
Back in the day, there was a good reason
to fight other countries. Now, wars are
started when one particular political
family decides to spice up their Risk
hoard game by using real pawns.
World War II in particular created a
shortage of good men. There's still a
shortage, but not even sending all the
first-horn sons to charm school will ever
fix that. After the end of the war. women
were so lotiely that they decided to not
he picky, and thus the Baby Boomer gen
eration was born.
The Baby Boomers created a gold
mine to marketers. They promoted crazy
nick-nacks and the parents of the tod
dlers snatched up diapers, refridgerators,
houses, and other silly wastes of money.
Everything ran smoothly in history for a
while, and the bumps were minimal.
Sure, a few guys got shot for no particu
lar reason, and the ladies opted for funny
hair and shoulder pads but history was
devoid of major self-inflicted catastro
phes. Now, present day, when science
has failed us in a cure for aging, or the
development of moon colonies that
would have fueled the investments in
crater-front properties, we face a new
Friday, February 3, 2006
Annie Sevin, Editor in Chief
Rob Frank, Managing Editor
Courtney Kaplin, Advertising Manager
Randy Martell, Public Relations Manager
Kim Young, Adviser
News Editor
Jennifer Haight
Sports Editor
Chris LaFuria
Opinion Editor
Daniel Mitchell
Humor Editor
Jerry Pohl
■
NP
problem.
The Baby Boomers did their best to
make the world a better place. They did
the things good Americans do. They cre
ated families of their own, accumulated
massive credit card debt, and had gam
bling and/or drinking problems. What
happened because of their existence
would have been impossible to predict,
but it's time to take action. As they aged,
the men suffered mid-life crises which
ended as soon as a shiny red car was pur
chased, but the women suffered an even
crueler fate, the curse of a long life. The
physiological makeup of a female allows
her to live longer (not including when
she murders her inferior mate) but it also
allows women to overheat.
Once a woman's potential is used up
and she starts to become useless to the
world, she develops a condition called
menopause. To some it may be a natural
event of nature, but to others it is a threat
to the stability of the world. One of the
symptoms is a phenomenon called "hot
flashes." These short periods of height
ened heat are more dangerous to the
planet than aerosol hairspray, oil spills,
and broken beach glass combined. The
intense energy generated from hot flash
es is the sole cause of global warming.
Thus, the only way to stop the glaciers
from melting is to destroy all women in
menopause. Either they go, or
California does.
Student Life Editor
Sean Mihlo
Copy Editors
Kate Kelecseny
Rachael Conway
Justin Plansinis
Photography Editor
Michelle Vera Suroviec