I The Behrend Beacon
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press: or . "
the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. - The First Ammendment to the U.S. Constitution
We're the man now, dog !
By Chris Hvizdak
Opinion Editor
Relic' is a scarce commodit\ these days. There
arc plenty ()I reasons \\ ll\ it's tough to hold
stock in one's lc11 0 \), ratan. community. faith or
government. Scandal, corruption, ignorance: take
your pick. I suppose it's easy to blindly support
such things if von don't ask questions or look
too deep. hut v hen it comes down to it most
things in this world are rotten or geared toward
the betterment of the ICw and definitely not you.
So it came as a shock this weekend when I
quite unexpectadth experienced full fledged
belief in a coninumio, You see, I was downtown
when a man approached me and asked if I had
accepted Jesus Christ as my per... no - that was
n't how it happened. In actuality. I returned
home late Saturday from a night on the town
with my special lady and noticed an instant mes
sage from a friend. That fateful IM read "THE
WAR HAS BEGUN. - Assuming that some dire
geopolitical circumstance had erupted in an
international military conflict of which I was
then unaware, I launched Fire Fox to check the
news. Of course, even war isn't as important as
the humor wehsite "You're the man now
dog.com'' (hereafter referred to as YTMND) so I
went there first and discovered that the war of
which my friend had messaged wasn't between
clashing nation states, but rather
militant interact communities
The situation that unfolded
hefOre 111 V es was truly story
book in nature. A coalition of
honorable and willing web com
munities (good guys), finally out
raged with the extensi\c trans
gressions of a reviled rogue web
com munity (bad guy), had hand
ed together for a full scale assault
on the evil doer. "What's this
yon might ask. Here's the deal :
Members of YTMND, along with members of a
half dozen other web communities that provide
forums for members to share their original
humor, retaliated via internet attacks against
eßaumsworld, a wehsite which is notorious for
posting humor content without the permission of
The Behrend Beacon
Published Weekly by the students of Penn Stale Eric
%ssistaiii Managing talitoi
sI)
Beacon
Penn State Erie,
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Send Suggestions to opinion@psu.edu
"It was on this
day that truth
conquered prof-
iteering that my
heart grew three
sizes."
Annie Sevin, Editor in Chief
Rob Frank, Managing Editor
Courtney Kaplin. Advertising Manager
Randy Martell. Public Relations Manager
Kim Young. Adviser
c‘%s Eclitor
.leimilci
Patrick Vsrcll,ici
Sports Editor
Chi'. I alma
Opinion Editor
11‘i/kl,ik
.artoonist
/ark Merit/
Photography Editor
Michelle Vela Sur i\ 'et:
OPINION
its authors, and reaping mil
lions a year in advertising. \ -
intlC (Sec
cbaumsworldsucks.com.)
It iti tiflportant to note that
the originator of the YININ I )
community staunchly opposed
these Internet attacks and crit
icited them as a "vulgar dis
play of power. - hich they
most certainly were. I.
myself, did not participate in
the offensive and find the
likely repercussions of such
behavior to far outweigh the
potential gains. What's done
is done, however. Despite the
inherent vulgarity of the
attacks, they . were effective.
The action that touched off
this war was the unauthorited
posting of a Lindsay Lohan
graphic that originated at
YTMND on the Minim web
site. The Internet attacks
resulted in the eßaum website
being sporadically inaccessi
ble and eventually cßaum
removed the Lindsay Lohan
graphic that had so enraged
the greater internet humor
COMMIInitV
and everyone
rejoiced in
Ye!,
VICtOIV
this is all pettN, foolish. childish
lunacy. Mere could he signifi
cant legal reprisals against the
ineinhers of YININD and the
other communities \kilo partici
pated in the attacks. It a ‘ery.
Cr\ lone shot. hut these sites
could C\ en he ~huff dWA 11
I lowevcr. it ?.(u have accepted
YTIVINI) into vow heart. as I have, then these
events inspire a sense of justice that is soiel
absent from contemporary America. Iloy, so''
YTMND allows users to create individual
websites. each composed of a picture. a sound
file and if they so choose. large type tort SIAM -
Stu(lenl Life I•Alitot
KI
Catendar Edi(of
Swhhan
Humor Editor
Jcrn Pohl
(op) Editors
Kati Kcic,Ncli
RadLicl
.luson
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Beacon Thumbs Up
4. A
)-
- Observing
- Beautiful
- Outdoor tennis in January.
- Free newspapers at various
locations on campus.
•
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Put Down the Twinkie!
By Michelle Vera Suroviec
photography editor
inisl 2 I psu.cdu
There seems to he a lack of human flesh to go around these
days. Back in biblical times, when people lived for a couple
hundred years or more, there must have been a bunch of skin
in use. Sure, one might fall for the blasphemy
of believing that the body is capable of regen
erating skin cells, and these cells indeed do not
come from a mystical storage device located in
the stratosphere, but that would he heresy.
Heresy. I say! And we all know, the last time
we as a planet experienced such silliness is
when someone thought the earth was round,
and look what happened to them. They sailed
right off the edge of the world.
Now hack to our body parts problem where
the problem caused by the zombie flesh eaters
destroying any possible skin surplus will not
he addressed at all, due to complicated nature
regenerated corpses bring to the picture.
Where are all these parts going'? Based on sci
entific facts with no speculation at all, it has
been concluded that excess body mass is trans
ferred between individuals. Over one said holiday break,
one said very attractive Beaconian found themself with an
influx of a few pounds whilst another equally special
imposed Upon the aforementioned picture. With
these simple tools, members have managed to
craft sites that brutally cut to the heart of politi
cal. economic, social and yes. pop culture issues
You might call it an evolution of the political
cartoon. To he fair. more often than not,
YTMNI) sites are simply funny. Or vulgar. Or
disgusting. Any which way they turn out, I find
YTNINDs to he the future of communication
(interpret that however you like), and at any rate
it's a fantastic medium for cutting straight to the
truth. another sorely kicking commodity these
dais.
In so many words, it's a simple formula with
immense results. pure and simple. There's very
little purity or simplicity in our warped world
k
gib. -al.
!: .1. 4 " ,
MLK day
weather
Beacon Thumbs Down
- Professors who only provide a
syllabus "on ANGEL."
- Poor quality textbooks
purchased via the Internet.
- Lack of dollies for dorm
move-in.
Beaconian found themself with a loss of the same amount.
We as a society can now conclude that whenever a person
loses a pound, whether it is from diet, exercise, or a Lindsay
Lohan style of bulimia, it directly goes to someone else.
This incredible breakthrough that will shock the academic
community verifies the patterns of weight gain and loss that
are happening across the globe. As the people of the country
of America continue to
expand in the waist
area, we are forced to
get our excess pounds
from poorer countries.
Because of our glutton
ous nature, other coun-
"We as a society can
now conclude that
whenever a person
loses a pound, whether
it is from diet, exer-
cise, or a Lindsay
Lohan style of bulim
ia, it directly goes to
someone else."
politicians always have
hidden agendas, and we
may have discovered the biggest scandal of all time, body fat
transfers.
Friday, January 13, 2006
ZACK MENTZ
these days, and for me, YTMND, along with a
handful of television programs and other web
sites, provide a ray of hope that blazes brightly
in the face of insurmountable corruption. So it
was on this day that truth conquered profiteering,
despite the childishness and vulgarity of this
'internet skirmish,' that my heart grew three
sizes. It's fair to say that far too many of the reli
gions, communities and persons that make up
America have so hopelessly lost the ability or
reconcile their ideals with their actions that
America itself has become a disgusting joke.
What makes YTMND so special is that it is
often a disgusting joke - but YTMND whole
heartedly accepts that.
.. ,der , s
( g! ! 1
i -mv, •
' 1 .
•S
go' wilb
if N•
"16
NP
tries are starving.
This body fat exchange
just may be what the
creators of NAFTA, a
very important free
trade agreement, had in
mind the whole time.
Forget about the eco
nomic benefits because