I The Behrend Beacon
Vexing video
game violence
By Anthony Cianciosi
staff writer
ith: I 64 0 , p,u.edu
It seems like such a long time ago,
hut do you remember when you could
deliver all your newspapers, take on a
barrel-throwing gorilla, slay vampires.
he a jungle commando, rescue a
princess and knock out Mike Tyson all
in one day? Those were simpler times in
the video game world, when all we
knew were eight Bits of graphics and
the same repetitive soundtrack. I bet if
you think about it really hard, there is
one game's soundtrack that has stuck
with you all these years and you can
hum it in its entirety. But as time moves
on and the technology improves, video
games have moved into a more realistic
Mario and his brother Luigi pwn some 1337 Halo 2 players in team vs mode after fragging a camper
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"Silly pizza man, you
can't eat a dollar."
Random Ramblings: Cows
So Id like he on the bus, and the bus would stop. I'd get to school half an hour
later. and the teachers would ask why I was late. I'd tell them it was the cows.
They would just sit in front of the bus. The teachers would say, "Ok." They knew,
they were used to cow crossings. When the construction workers were on our road,
because it was paved, you know, they'd ask what the smell was. It was cows.
"How can you stand it?" they asked. "It's just cows," we said. Then the cows were
near the truck.
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ONE FREE
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11-25-05
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and get the stuff you want sooner
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approach. So real, in fact, that eliminat
ing enemies is no longer an innocent
task such as jumping on or shooting a
fireball from a magic flower. Today's
video games have realistic graphics and
violence and they have become the con
cern of many parents and politicians
alike.
Rockstar Games, the company who
has created some of the most popular
games in the industry such as the Grand
Theft Auto and Midnight Club series,
released its newest game into their own
violence universe recently. If you ever
wanted to feel what it was like to be a
part of a West Side Story type gang
without all the choreographed dancing,
(which would more than likely cause
you to get killed in public regardless if
in a gang or not), then Tte Warriors is
By Michelle Vera Suroviec
photography editor
mis 121 @'psti.edu
le at any retail store in America
3.3.-26-05 Mgt
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-Eric Bell
with other (f -r
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The wo)le t . 11() unim gill 'et it
imamLlza.Amllo,i=miladhimimliatlzAok.milmmgmaAidealmaku
the game for y
New Program Unveiled at Behrend
Last Friday, the School of Humanities and Social Sciences
announced a new program geared towards students who
want a Penn State degree without any of the effort. This new
program gives students the opportunity to get a Master's
degree in an increasing subject: the obvious.
love knowing that I have mastered the obvious. I think
this will really help me in the real world. Hey, your shoe's
untied," said program director, Ms. Hilton. Ms. Hilton was
formerly teaching these graduate-level classes at several Ivy
League schools, including Harvard. As to why she decided
to turn down the seven figure income offered by Harvard and
share her knowledge with Bchrend students, her reply was,
"Snow is hot! Snow! That's so hot!"
A student can earn their degree by attending an intensive
three-week course offered at night. Topics such as colors of
Canadian curly fries invade
Food is a great thing. There's nothing more glorious than
Americans shoveling
sizable pieces of cow or
grass into their mouths.
However, there is a food
that threatens the very
existence of America
itself. That food is curly
fries
Curly fries co::ie from
foreign and exotic places
like Canada; whereas
American foods like hot
dogs and squid guts
come from American
places like Indonesia.
However, Canadian
curly fries are slowly
taking over America.
"They've been doing it
for years," said an FBI
agent by the name of
Richard Litz, who wish-
es to remain anonymous.
"But it wasn't until now
that the killer Canadian
curly fry horde emerged A Canadian curly fry attacks a trio of business students near Dobbin,
in full force."
The Warriors is a
fighting game that is
based on the 1979 cult
film by Walter Hill and
is expected to be a top
seller this year. The
game follows the plot
of the movie, which is
centered on a multicul-
tural street gang in
New York City that has
been accused of mur
der and has to fight its
way home though the
Bronx to Coney Island
(sounds like a typical
night for any Yankee
fan). Anything in the
game can he used as a
weapon to fight off
hoards of thugs, such
as baseball bats, chains,
garbage cans, televi
sion sets and even toi
lets; but mainly it's a
game to test your char
acter's hand-to-hand
By Michelle Vera Suroviec
photography editor
121 2 1 p s edu
By Dale Harvey
contributing writer
dmhso49 psu.edu
combat
This isn't the first time that Rockstar
Games has based a game on a movie.
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City was based
on the movie "Scarface." In an inter
view with the New York Times, Vice
President of Rockstar Games, Dan
Houser said, "Games are going to take
over movies as the mainstream form of
entertainment, but why is that happen
ing? Well, books tell you something.
Movies show you something. But
games let you do something..."( Like
beating the crap out of the cop who tries
to arrest you for running over a hooker
with a stolen car.) The company has
been under tire recently because interim
hackers found a sex mini-game hidden
in the computer code of the game Grand
Theft Auto: San Andreas.
That part of the game was never orig
inally supposed to be a part of the game,
but someone with a lot of time on their
hands found it and caused a huge uproar.
Senator Hillary "My name has been
in a headline with the word SEX way
too often" Clinton, has called for a fed
eral investigation into the company say-
the sky, whether dogs have hair and belong in purses and
other environmental issues are the highlights of the program.
The program also boasts impressive job placement statistics.
Everyone under the guidance of Ms. Hilton has been able to
find lucrative careers.
"Like, I told my ex-best friend this technique and she total
ly got it," commented Ms. Hilton. Part of the reason for the
program's success is the fact that it looks notable on a
resume and also gives each participant effective skills that
can help in a job interview, and also in any real-life experi
ence.
Part of the allure of the program is the hands-on experi
ence given to the participants. Field training takes place reg
ularly at shopping plazas around the city.
"I love Wal-Mart. They sell more than walls," said Ms.
Hilton.
For more information about this program, an information
al seminar will be held at Bruno's next Sunday at 7 p.m.
"It's a cafeteria, not a dog," said Ms. Hilton.
Just yesterday, for example, a battalion of killer fries
attacked Theresa's Deli, a restaurant on East 38th Street, right
near an Arby's, which sells curly fries, but is really a curly fry
army front
Friday, November 18, 2005
ing that they are trying to corrupt the
youth of America.
Is it really that Rockstar Games is try
ing to corrupt the youth of America, or
is it that the generation of kids who
played video games when it was still in
its infancy are growing up? Video
games are a way for people to sit back,
relax and enjoy doing something that
they normally couldn't or wouldn't do
in their own lives. Someone can drive a
Formula I car, relive a battle in WWII,
go on a covert operation or even steal
cars and gun down anyone in their way.
Sure, some video games may be violent
these days, but you don't have to play
them. There are other options out there.
And just because someone plays a game
that involves being in a gang or the
mafia doesn t mean that they will go on
a killing spite. I played Mario Brothers
when I was y 'Ringer, and I never dressed
up as a plumuer, climbed in and out of
pipes and ate random mushrooms I
found in giant floating question mark
blocks... All right, well there was that
one time, but that story is for another
time.
"Death to all foods but us!" one fry was heard to say as they
burnt Theresa's down.
So what exactly is caus
ing this outbreak of insan
ity? Sources say the
source of these attacks is
the curly fry leader,
known only as
"Earthquake," who wields
the legendary weapon
known as the soul stick,
an evil pogo stick that
devours souls and
ncess, and then Hot Coffee mod
spleens
"We're doing everything
we can," said Richard, an
anonymous FBI agent.
"We even pulled the two
guys looking for Bin
Ladin."
"Earthquake" must be
found before the curly fry
scourge can be purged.
Then, and only then, will
the quest for the Holy
Grail be brought to a suc
cessful conclusion.