Erika Jarvis, Features Editor
Don't mess with Texas
by Ryan Russell
advertising manager
I can not describe how good the Skins. The Combo was a great way to
Texas Roadhouse restaurant is in 500 start our meal, and things only got better
words
But I'll damn well try. One table in every Texas Roadhouse
The Texas Roadhouse is located on is deemed "Willie Nelson's Corner,"
Peach Street; right next to Erie's other and we were lucky enough to sit there
new business venture, Krispy Kreme. during our meal. This is the only table
PHOTO BY RYAN RUSSELUBEHREND BEACON
Outside the Texas Roadhouse at night.
God Bless America
I laying already entered and seated,
Lauren Packer, who came with me to
give a second opinion on the
Roadhouse, and I ordered our drinks.
I decided on a draft beer, and the
waitress asked if I would like "The
Duke." I had no idea what she was
talking about, and she explained that
it was a larger beer. I assumed the jump
was small, from ten ounces to sixteen.
Wrong. The jump was from ten
ounces to a whopping twenty two
ounces. Wow is all I can say.
Oh, Lauren ordered some kind of
margarita, but after seeing "The
Duke," I can't type what I thought of
her drink. She said it was_gpod though.
I called it girlie and made fun of her
and the drink all night.
To start, we ordered "Combo
Crossword
ACROSS
1 Cover the tab
6 Players
10 Sail support
14 Brouhaha
16 Seagirt land
17 Tool
18 Imitate a top
19 Village landmark
20 Expels
22 Caster piece
25 Clear the
blackboard
26 Lumberjacks
29 Vocal protest
31 Rugged rock
32 Run without
clothes
33 Gadgeteer
Popeil
36 Nocturnal
mammal
38 Sham
40 Ogle
41 Timberland
45 Earth lump
46 Most favorably
47 Active folk
48 Teatime treat
51 Liam of
"Schindler's List"
53 Ring around the
sun
55 Eliminator
59 Niagara sound
60 Valid
63 Kans. neighbor
64 Stradivarius
players
65 Writing table
66 Part of A.M.
67 Eight-piece band
DOWN
1 The nearer one
2 of the litter
3 Otherwise
4 Hyde, to Jekyll
sSprings, FL
6 king Arthur's
court
7 Stein filler
8 Next generation
member
9 Carryall
10 Stephen King
novel
11 Source for the
fam. pet
Appetizer," which included Chicken
Critters, Rattlesnake Bites, and Tater
from there
in the whole restaurant like this. The
table is complete with photos of Willie,
old Farm Aid VIP passes, and other
pieces of memorabilia, which really
helped enhance our dining experience.
Of course, so did "The Duke."
I ordered the Ribeye Steak and Ribs
Combo meal, while Lauren ordered the
Southwest Chicken meal. Her meal
consisted of a chicken breast topped
with jack cheese, black bean sauce, sour
cream, and green onions.
When I saw the ribs and steak for the
first time, I knew instantly that I
wouldn't he able to eat my whole meal.
The ribs literally fell right off the bone,
leaving nothing but pristine bones on
my plate. They were sweet, seasoned
-perfectly, and were also gone in
approximately five seconds.
The steak was a challenge, since I had
0 2003 Tribune Media Services, Inc
All rights reserved.
12 Tent openings Solutions
13 Uptight
15 Male moose
21 Nincompoops
23 Continent of
Ger.
24 AAA info
26 Field measure
27 Picture of a
physician?
28 Urban purse
item?
30 USN rank
32 Superior type
33 Reign over
34 Stench
35 Non-verbal
answers
37 Regularly
39 Like some
forecasts
42 Stimpy's pal 48 Young haddock 56 Enormous
43 Map dir. 49 Sam or Alistair 57 Din ending?
44 Totally 50 In-person exams 58 Relax
disinfected 52 Successor of
46 Arctic coat Ramses I
47 Masquerade 54 Thomas
outfit Edison
'l,
Friday, September 26, 2003
;Crazy Newspaper Face stabs
editor in chief
I by Crazy Newspaper Face
I would like to apologize for my actions.
My last article titled The Fabulous Life of
Boiler Hall was printed in the Beacon last
week, and the problem with that is that it was
edited. The higher ups at the Beacon were
doing some bureaucratic ass kissing by
changing the content of my article. I think
they were afraid that by exposing the truth
about who was really living in the boiler room
in Reed, they would make themselves the
target of a wide-spread conspiracy to off
students who produce or participate in the
publication of any material that would expose
the truth about this campus.
That's right the article's names were
changed to protect the not so innocent. The
original draft contained the names Jack
Burke, Ken Miller, Chris Rizzo, Stacey
McCoy, Diana Malinowski, Archie Loss, and
Robert Truitt. I just wanted to bring this fact
to light; so that if any of you were wondering
why the article didn't make any sense, it
would become clear.
That brings me to the matter at hand: why I stabbed Lauren Packer, Editor in Chief of the Beacon. Well I'll tell you I was
pretty steamed when I found out my article had been changed and published without my consent. I went down to the Beacon
I office to find Ms. Packer, and she wasn't there. I was late to a meeting in the Junker Center so I ran over there.
When I was walking into the meeting I glanced at the pool, and saw her. She was practicing her moves for water polo. I
thought to myself, "where is her horse?" but there were more important matters at hand. I went to talk to her about the
changes to my article.
Then she said, "Oh, that's you. I didn't recognize you. You all look the same to me."
I
I was outraged. Was I going to take this from her? I called her a racist cracker.
She retorted, "Hey don't call me a racist, some of my best friends are newspaper faces."
1 That is when I jumped into the pool and stabbed her in the head. I
I I just wanted to write and say that I'm sorry for stabbing Ms. Packer, but this just goes to say what happens when youl
I violate the ethical rules of journalistic editing. I
L ./
already eaten so much, but I ate it crew comes over, shines a spotlight on
nonetheless. It, too, was as spectacular you (literally), makes everyone in the
as the ribs; cooked exactly as I had restaurant say "hi" to you, and also
asked, and perfectly seasoned and invites everyone to give you an official
flavored. Texas Roadhouse "Yee Haw!"
Lauren also enjoyed her meal, while The previous paragraph really did no
maybe not as much as I did, but she justice to the birthday celebration the
den nately enjoyed the overall employees run. Even this article did no
experience as much as I did. real justice in explaining how
"The meal was good, the atmosphere spectacular the Texas Roadhouse is,
was great, and I really enjoyed the since you can't cut the article out and
singing, too," she said. cook it to your liking.
That's right, if you go to the So in final analysis, take my word for
Roadhouse on your birthday, the entire it. The Texas Roadhouse is the place to
61 One for the
Germans
62 Came down
contributing writer
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Crazy Newspaper Face takes his editing rage out on Lauren
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Free
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The Behrend Beacon
Beacon
go for steak, chicken, or anything you
have a hunger for, like "The Duke."
I give Texas Roadhouse four out of
four stars.
- 3 1 ( - 1r 1r 1r
out of
4 stars
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