Paige Miles, Editorial Page Editor
0' Doyle rules! And so do I
Time flies, doesn't it? I remember
coming to Behrend to take my freshman
test when I was a senior in high school
It seems like yesterday, as does the
Saturday I moved into Perry -
Those were the days, weren
they? Answer: No, they wet
not. It's been my experience ti
college gets better with age- "li
fine wine," as Finch finely put
in the movie "American Pie."
Of course, he was talking
about women, and I am re
ferring to college, but I di
gress.
I came to Behrend a on my door
shy, awkward Oh, you didn't know? that morning
teenager, and lam `Koor Karl Benacci and asked me
leaving Behrend if I knew who
as a less-shy, less- performed the act.
awkward non-teen- I said no, pretending
ager. I guess that counts as something, I was sleepy, as my roommate buried his
right? head in his pillow, attempting not to
Do you remember my editorials? Any- laugh. I guess you had to have been there.
thing I wrote involving Bruno or Britney *Silence* Stop looking at me swan!
Spears was cool, wasn't it? I can make a
countdown of my three sweetest: My
Valentine's Day piece, titled "I think
Valentine's Day is Stupid," gets the third
spot. My Christmas editorial I wrote
sophomore year about the guy with the
wreath on his car who flicked off my
friends and I finishes second. Don't let
a bastard ruin your day is the winner!
Kermit the Frog enters, throwing his
arms around, screaming YAAAAY!
I have so many memories that I could
spout off, including the time I slipped
and fell down the apartment hill trying
to carry a picnic table, or the time I jump
kicked a hole in the fraternity house wall,
but I know a majority of my readers are
probably uninterested in my escapades.
But you know what? This is my final
There and back again: a student's holiday
I am in a unique position as a Behrend
graduate because this campus has been
a home away from home for me for as
long as I can remember. Long before I
was a student here, "Behrend" conjured
up images of swimming at the Behrend
pool; tromping through Four-Mile
Creek; scanning the skies atop Devil's
Backbone; picnicking in the gazebo;
sledding down the hill by the Science
building; and attending Astronomy
Open House lectures. It was a place
where, in Dad's little corner of campus,
everybody knew my name. Now that I
am leaving in my capacity as a student,
it will be a little like going back to my
pre-college days. I know I will never
be far away.
I have been shaped most profoundly
in my college career by people and the
experiences they helped to create. It is
these relationships that have pulled me
through those times and they have
been many when I was awash in frus
tration and wondering why I ever came
to college in the first place. It is these
friendships that I will remember long
after I have forgotten the formula for
the quadratic equation; the difference
between modernism, post-modernism
and post-colonialism; and the critical
commentary of Harold Bloom regard
ing "Henry IV, Part I." (On second
thought, I doubt I will ever be able to
forget that.)
And so I would like to take this op
portunity to say thank you to some of
the people who have made such an im
pression upon me, knowing that I
haven't anywhere near the room to men
tion you all. First of all, I thank my par
ents, who have seen the dark side of Erin
many more times than anyone should.
Goodbye, farewell
Well, what can I say, the time to
transfer is finally here. Two years
have flown by here at Behrend, and
now it is 6ff to University Park to
complete my education. It will be
good to get out of Erie, for I have
lived here all my life, and it will
be great to witness new challenges.
However, there are a lot of things I
am going to miss here at Behrend,
as well as Erie.
First of all, it will be good to get
away from the folks for a while, but
I am going to miss them a little bit.
They have always been there for
me, and it won't be the same, not
being able to see my cousins when
I want to, or just have a conversa
tion. Although, I know once I get
editorial, and I'll do whatever the hell I
please!
-During my freshman year, my room
mate and I found a tube of tooth
te and we squeezed it all
r our fraternity brothers'
toor and lock. One of them
ied unlocking his door the
text day, which sent the
toothpaste into the lock.
This messed up the lock
and the two couldn't get
into their room for
hours. One of the
guys knocked
-The Danielle incident J
-The Steph incident J
-The Angela incident L
-Halloween night, senior year. My
roommate and I had a little too much beer
and invaded the campus with my karaoke
system—all from the comfort of our
room. A few people who were having a
party heckled us, so we went into their
apartment and drank thei; beer. A chick
from Edinboro gave me her number that
night—maybe I should call her.
-The day I was sad because my dog
was put asleep. This ended up being a
cool night because the doorbell to my
apartment rang, and when I went to see
who it was there was a huge cake sitting
on my doorstep. After I said, "What is
this?" the cake opened up and Britney
Thanks for putting up with all my 3 a.m.
hyperventilating, my throwing of books
across the room, my "I'm-never-going
back-to-school-again-in-my-life" tem
per tantrums. Dad, thanks for making
your office a haven for me and for join
ing me for lunch on so many occasions.
I don't care what anyone says, you can't
beat Bruno's chicken ranch pizza!
Thank you to all of the faculty and
staff who have known me for years,
whether you helped me with my water
wings as a 4-year-old; gave me ceramic
figurines as a 6-year-old; took me bird
banding as an 8-year-old; watched the
solar eclipse with me as a 12-year-old;
or hired me as a babysitter as a 16-year
old. Thanks for letting me crash all your
Christmas parties and always making
me feel a part of the Behrend family.
I am grateful for all of the wonderful
professors I have had at Behrend, and I
wish I could acknowledge them all here.
A few to whom I am especially in
debted...
Mr. Looney, I've worked more
closely with you than any other profes
sor at Behrend, with four classes, four
semesters of "Lake Effect," and two se
mesters of my thesis. Thank you so
much for all your instruction and en
couragement and loads of laughs along
the way.
Dr. Morris, yours are the most edu
cational and entertaining class discus
sions I have ever taken part in. Although
I have stumbled in your classes from
time to time, you have always lifted me
up; you are one of the most edifying
people I know. Thank you for every
thing, even Harold Bloom.
Ms. Connerty, you taught the very
first class I had at Behrend, and you put
down there things will prob
ably change, for I will
ize that they are onl,
phone call or an IM Me
sage away.
Second, I am going to
miss the social life here
at Behrend. All of the fiat
parties, apartment par•
ties, and going into ban
with your friends, just be•
cause you want to have
fun, and possibly have a
drink or two, or more
depending on your
mood. I will miss the
fun times at Midnight
Bingo, and the sound of
people getting irritated
EDITORIA
Friday, May 2, 2003
fftt~ff-.fl:
Spears hopped out, waving sparklers
around, and wearing a captain's cap. She
yelled, "Whooooo, Karl! Don't be sad!
Time to party!" I smiled. We played
Twister and drank orange juice together.
-So many stories unfit for printing.
There are a few people I would like to
-My parents. Thanks for supporting me
and sending me off to college. If it
weren't for you two, I wouldn't be born!
Thanks!
-Professor Sean Thomas Dougherty.
Sean, you've been a GREAT help to me.
When I took your class I thought you
were a goofy fellow, but I soon learned
you're a great professor and a great
friend. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be
going to graduate school—you did ev
erything, from letters of recommendation
to discussing which schools were worth
my time. You're the only professor I've
ever taken who told me I had any cre
ative writing talent, whatsoever. I am also
gracious you helped me on my senior
thesis—lf it weren't for, you my thesis
might be boring, but now it's a weird,
twisted and dark collection of works that
I can be proud of! Plus, you went to high
school with Adam Sandler. I thank you
for everything.
-Professor Archie Loss. I thank you for
reading my thesis stories and for teach
ing me popular culture. I think you'll
definitely notice the popular culture in
fluence in my thesis. Also, I'd like to
thank you for complimenting me on my
Beacon editorials.
-Professor George Looney. Yes, you
get props, as well. You helped me with
graduate schools and letters of recom
mendation. Plus, your classes were cool,
too. Thank you.
-Allegheny and Mercyhurst College.
a very nervous freshman immediately
at ease. Since then, you have remained
a ray of sunshine, both in class and out.
Your joie de vivre and affection are in
fectious. Thank you.
Dr. Baldwin, my fellow Lake
Wobegon-loving Lutheran, thank you
for giving me that extra nudge I needed
to go to England and for keeping an eye
on me while I was there. I've grown to
know the Bard better than I ever wanted
to, and, thanks to your passion, enjoyed
him more than I ever thought possible
I have been a part of the Beacc
seven of my eight semesters at Bel
and spent countless hours in the
con office writing, editing, and
out articles. Although I am gem
tearing my hair out at some point
ing the week, thanks to the Beacot
has brought me a great sense of com.
munity and accomplishment. I am
actually going to miss those 12-
hour-long stints in the office on
Thursdays.
Becky, we've been through the Erin
Beacon and the English program
together. How many Thursdays
have we spent in the office fretting over
the same assignments? I've gotten to
know you very well as a person and as
a writer, and I think both are wonderful.
I wish you the best of luck in the final
preparations for your wedding, and I
will be there to cheer you on when the
big day comes!
Karl, you too have gone through the
English program with me. You may have
stolen my thunder as the quietest stu
dent in our classes together, but that
hasn't stopped me from discovering that
the "Kool" so often accompanying your
name is well deserved. One day I will
because other people are
ig and not them.
Third, I am going
;s all the times spent
the Beacon; the fun
meetings, writing
stories, making
!nes with the clip art
the Calendar Page,
id being there on
'hursday nights 'till
tll hours laying out
the entire paper
and making sure
things are right. I
will miss the fight
over who has
I'm glad Allegheny put me on their wait
ing list and Mercyhurst wanted me to
go to Mercyhurst North East. Thanks to
them, I didn't go to their schools and I
came to Behrend! Thanks guys, you
saved me from a big mistake!
-I'm sorry if I forgot anyone from my
list. If I did, you can add yourself in the
space provided with the help of an ink
pen. helped Karl with
I learned so many things at Behrend,
but the most important lessons come
outside of the classroom. I learned that
most people don't know what the hell
they're talking about. Take, for example,
graduate schools. I applied to eight
places and I got rejected from the lesser
esteemed programs (for the most part),
and I got accepted to the better pro
grams. Go figure.
I also learned that some people don't
want you to succeed. I don't know why
this is. In some instances it might be jeal
ousy, while in others it could merely be
the person doesn't like you. At any rate,
one must work harder and ignore such
criticism, and if the person or organiza
tion isn't worth your time you should
evaluate the situation and invest your
self elsewhere.
Related to the above illustration is the
matter of worrying about what other
people think. When I arrived at Behrend,
I cared what others thought about me. I
don't know why, but through my years
here I've realized it doesn't matter what
other people think. After all, no one
knows you like yourself, and if you don't
care about the criticizer, you shouldn't
care what he or she thinks or says about
you.
Before I go, I will tell my readers
what's cool and what's not, here at
see you and Becky signing your books
at Barnes and Noble.
Rob, I assumed my role as news edi
tor under your watch. Thanks for your
patience and your flexibility. It has been
a pleasure working with you. And, for
the last time, you did not make me cry!
Kevin, you've brought an incredible
zeal and commitment with you when
you joined the Beacon, and the paper
has benefited greatly. You went from
tant to my boss in just
my assis-
McCarty
sweet person, and I have loved work
ing alongside you over the past several
semesters. Good luck with your remain
ing semesters. Jen, thank you for all of
your help this past year. I don't know
what I would have done without you.
Erinn, I don't know what I would have
done without you either. You're always
willing to take on an article, no matter
how much work you have to do. Thanks
for all the movie nights. I'll sing
karaoke with you any time!
Courtney, the mantle of news editor
passes to you next semester. You are a
very good-natured and responsible per-
as many other things.
Last but certainly not least, I am
going to miss all of my friends here
at Behrend, including the sisters of
Alpha Sigma Alpha. You girls
mean a whole lot to me, and I will
miss all of the times we have spent
together; formal, social events,
even just being there at the table
in Bruno's to have lunch and/or a
little chat. I will miss the times I
sang karaoke for all of you, just be
cause it is fun and I want to do it. I
will miss the fashion show staff
and the hard times we spent pre
paring for the show, and will miss
not being able to do it again next
year.
Photoshop
open, as well
I would like to say thank you to
The Behrend Beacon
Behrend and beyond
What's cool about Behrend?
-Police and Safety.
-The band that plays at the basketball
games.
-Band camp
-RC Cola
-Nothing on this list
What's not cool about Behrend?
-The 'machine' in the apartment laundry
room that sells expired merchandise. Go
check it out to see what I'm talking about.
-Behrend girls. Alternative: Gannon
and Mercyhurst girls—at times,
Edinboro girls. Anyone who gets of
fended by this joke is siiiillllyyyyyy.
-Those who don't like my editorials.
These people like the things that are 'cool
about Behrend, along with the things that
aren't cool about Behrend, too, and they
wouldn't understand the laundry room
joke.
What makes Behrend a good place (se
riously):
-Bruno's
-The Junker Center
-Jack Burke
-This year's Alumni Fellow of the
-The maintenance golf cart.
-The restaurants that deliver to cam
pus.
-Me
Some of my readers might be curious
about what's next for Karl after gradua
tion. Well, I am the smartest man alive!
I'm going to graduate school in the beau
tiful state of Georgia, which is chalk full
of peaches, Confederate soldiers, and
sweeeeeeet talking ladies who live in
nice enough weather to exercise 365 days
a year. Mmmmm-mmmm-mmmmm.
son, and I know the section will flour
ish with you as my successor. Scott,
you've done a super job with sports, and
you will make an outstanding SGA
president. Keep up the great work.
Lauren, it's been great getting to know
you this year. You are a great person and
you will do a fine job as editor-in-chief.
Christine, I have known you since ninth
grade, and your kind-heartedness has al
ways struck me. Good luck in all that
you do. Earl, I will miss seeing you on
Thursday nights. Thanks for burning the
midnight oil with us!
Dave, I have been a huge fan of yours
for years. When I learned I would be
working with you on the Beacon, I
couldn't believe my luck. It's been a
genuine joy getting to know the man be
hind the name and an honor to have my
articles tweaked by your master hand.
You'll always be my favorite journal
ist.
Dan, I have only had the pleasure of
knowing you for a semester and a half,
but I can sincerely say that you are the
classiest guy I have met in my four years
at Behrend. You are the calm in the
chaos that is Thursday. Don't ever
change. Keep raising the caliber of the
Beacon with your top-notch reviews. I
will read them one day in the New York
Times.
I have now gone on far longer than I
should have, and said far less than I
wanted to. I hope you will forgive me
on both counts. Let me just say, in an
approximation of the words of my be
loved Bilbo Baggins, that "[four] years
is too short a time to live among such
excellent and admirable [people]." God
bless you all.
all those who have cared so much
about me and the time for being
your Calendar Page Editor, as well
as your friend. Of course, there are
some things I will not miss at
Behrend, like the tasty food at
Bruno's, and other things, but on
the whole, I will miss Behrend a
lot. Don't you worry though, I will
keep in touch with people, and I
will be back to visit as often as I
can, and also remember that I am
"only" four hours away, for the
people who decide to take a little
road trip. Well, in my last words at
Behrend, I would just like to say
thanks to everyone, good-bye, and
farewell.
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