They came, they saw, they kicked some butt... \l f i
or they begged to see their pictures on actual newsprint
Everything else you probably did not want to know about Crafty Barnardo and Miguel Sanchez
by Ben Ktmdman
editorial page editor
Ina BUDPOT budding not so long ago,
a Labs• new‘poper was found next to
the Behrend Beacon box, and then, in
one short, sweet semester. the
BUDPOT Behrend Underground
Dispatch Post Obsen , er Times) grew
up to accomplish...well, we don't really
-J esus " bum; but it was pretty damn fiumy. We
44 , ren't going to let the men behirul the 'pot get away
without one last intetTiew
R.K. A wise man once said "graduating college in four
years is like leaving a party at 10:30." How long has the
BUDPOT staff been in school, and how much longer do
they plan on staving in school?
Crafty liarnardo: This was my seventh semester at
liehrend, although that's not my official standing. I'm
transferring to Robert Morris in the spring, where I'll
probably have to go three semesters before graduating.
Miguel Sanchez: Forever! One more semester.
\k'a all of the money you spent to publish the
BUDIN Yr worth it'?
Miguel: Nope
B.K. Did you get any compliments from professors, or
just complaints ut 'juvenile humor" and "wasted talent'?"
Crafty: I had one teacher tell me she liked it, but that's
B.K. How many hour a week went into producing the
BUDPOT?
Miguel: Between writing the paper. getting it printed.
dktrihuting, GMing. updating the \ vebsite, etc. probably
B.K. I loss ii try cases of beer iltri bottles of liquor went
into prixhicing the lit DpoT es ery week?
Nliguel: A 11" 'lad
l'rafty: Vs.e drank a sh**load before BUDPOT ever
exlqed. ihoul2b.
B.K. I las Ixting a \s utter for a tterni -famous underground
newspaper helped anyone on the BUDPOT staff pull
any tall '
Santa Claus. After all, he crawls down our chimneys and brings us Lifts such
Chia Pets and toe socks. Now, I don't know about you, but I want Santa to continue this trend. I !,?
free presents
First off, Santa is the only obese man that's welcome to sneak into my parent's house and L.!!
So why are we feeding him treats like cookies and tarts? Do we want him to have a heart ill !,
sure don't! He's already a big guy with high cholesterol, so one should feed him celery and per h
Low-Fat Fig Newtons, if anything.
Let's treat Santa Claus better. After all, who else would hire a bunch of midgets to make purr p:
sents? I sure wouldn't! I'd be all about the Hooters girls...ho ho ho
Crossword
ACROSS
1 E xtrernely small
particle
5 Eurasian vipers
9 Easy touch
Fiji's capital
15 Fly like a butterfly
16 Small crowd?
1/ Yeah, sure
18 Actress Kudrow
19 Chestnut-and
while horses
20 Magic word
23 Lower digit
24 Astro follower
25 Sets free, as pigs
27 Early release
30 Lookalike
32 Blazing
33 Kind of squash
36 Coffee server
37 Doles (out)
38 U T book
39 Power to which a
base is raised
42 Labyrinths
44 Andes beasts
45 Dead 'uns
46 Zorba's land
48 Chinese ship
49 I see!
50 Sherlock's
science
56 Part of VCR
58 Klutzes
59 Keystone State
port
60 January in
Oaxaca
61 Married woman
62 Statuesque
63 "Boy on a
Dolphin" star
64 Pentyl
65 Open-handed
blow
DOWN
I Home to billions
2 Ernest of country
music
3 Ended
4 Bullfighter
5 Blazing
6 Trombone feature
7 Tower city
8 Knile thrust
combined
Kool
@ 2001 Tribune WOW Sevres*, Inc
AN rights reserved.
Solutions
9 Peculiar
10 So it's you!
11 Socialize (with)
12 Mortise partner
13 Sycophant's
replies
21 Nat or Natalie
22 Half-pints
26 For each
27 Actor Newman
28 '6os hairdo
29 Instigator
30 Bader Ginsburg
and Buzzi
31 Gossip-column
pair
33 Alpha follower
34 Computer
operator
35 Soviet news
agcy.
37 Silent actor
40 Pub quaff
41 Des Moines river
42 Like pre-stereo
45 Armed thug 52 Wound
46 Chairman's mallet seriously
47 Horned 53 Kind of contract
pachyderm 54 Colorado
48 Trice tributary
51 Home of 55 Canine sound
Hawkeyes 57 Afore
sound
43 Short socks
Crafty: What is this "tail" you speak of?
Miguel: We found a cat outside...does that count?
B.K. As far as "bang for the buck" is concerned, what
type of alcohol does the BUDPOT staff prefer?
Miguel: Cheap white zinfandael
Crafty: F m more of a gin person... as far as beer, I'd go
with MGD or Molson Export
B. K. Is having two marijuana references contained within
the name "BUDPOT" a coincidence or is it somehow
intentional?
Crafty Barnardo
Miguel: Define "intentional"...
Crafty: What marijuana references?
B.K What is the best way to scam a drink off a 35-year
old woman at the bar?
Crafty: Chicks having their 35th birthday at the Plymouth
love Miguel for some reason...
Miguel: I only kissed that one...but she didn't even buy
me a drink!
B.K. Would you rather fight Mike Tyson or jump off a
3(X) ft high bridge?
Miguel: Well, the 300 ft fall would take longer than a
Tyson fight, do the math.
Crafty: I'd bite Tyson's ear off!
ILK Does the BUDPOT staff have an official "hangover
cure," or does it favor the traditional. Bloody Mary?
Karl's Krazy Korner!
Santa is Cool
Friday, December 7, 2001
Crafty: We continue tube mid \Hip 'll,l It .I ,
Morning Relief, combined ith 112 lilt .11 i
B.! Flow much fun a hatiel nt HP \
Miguel: Not very fun until
Crafty: Once that hapixaN • ; 114 11111
possibly be put int() word),
B.K. Was Harvard~ National I aiiitx ton tht
to start the fill1)1'01 or did
BEACON sucked'
Miguel: We WM hatiicalh 111'4)1101h\
frotn The Onion on Conan one
Crafty: On a side note, we a; it 4 ni
feedback from National I.ampt s
B.K. Which Baldwin hrothci !
into a fight, Royal Ruinhlc '
Crafty: Haven't you seen l'he
is harsh!
Miguel: Yeah, we met I\lc !quit! , in N ltql!
B.K If you could oul liqcn h
your life, what would it he'
Miguel: 'llleSong'lliat Nt: \ 1.10 . 111
Crafty: Probably ilk. Hill of 1 , .
Be Giants
B.K. What i s one thing that lit111cm! L 11,1 ,I
be more attractive to potential Emil,
Crafty: Get rid of the I.:FA I I l.,!!
away BUDPOT all scnic , ,tet
Miguel: Relcate.
B.A. Wh
habitat'
Miguel: I don't know. \ll,!t kind ,
Crafty: I think I ha‘c one IR nn , nr,
B.K. If you 1.!ot
would it tle''
Crafty: I 'VC )Wl IVI
,k
11! II I !!1
striaihten hr.; n0 , , k2 k nit
Miguel: Steven Seagal 1 . (1 11,•
Anyone cough+ 5-featly)/
Karl's ideas wit( be a+
+ackeci by rabid Yetis
and +hen, after heron
ivoau(ed, +hey watt fif
thrown in+o a bite of
manure...face down. kilt
welcome your humoroti;
submissions. Send +hem
+o ehrco (Me, a o c p
The Weekly Funnies
DITHERED TW TS
Horrific nightmares haunter! y ,
Particularly troubling was the recurring
'Duck, Duck, Mongoose' dream
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nvi~l , ii,l \(l%;!iit,wc \Vcll,,ter.
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InES:11
Blend all ingredients together (preferdhlv with hands).
P , )II into halls the sim of large tumbles and refrigerate
Optional:
Roll peanut butter halls in pON\ dere(' COCOiI Of
1 ou may also roll them in coconut and/or
dip into chocolate fondue.
We want your recipes!
z Send your submissions to
behrcolls@aol.corn.
Don't cop out and raid your mom's recipe
box. We want recipes from college stu
dents, for college students!
CAPTAIN RIBMAN In Mallstrom
LE TTS C:' OO
THIS RIGHT.
00 THE
GLOVES
FIT/
- .
Alit
'Mr
4 4
'la
II
YOU BET'
fl-
Recipes for You!
Peanut Butter Balls
Ingredients:
I c. peanut butter
I C. powdered milk
1/2 c. honc\
Preparation
GOLLY,
IT'S FROM
PRESIDENT
BUSH!
The Behrend Beacon
(;,111iitc/
Nliguel: SI,dC ('olk•gt•
"Puckei
Crafty: Dnink rhi k<
'Miguel: Sour
Craft : 14)111 the [kw,
!Miguel: Stile College
liciculi
Crafty: I ~•tture and Wi
1(0,20
"Katic
Craft: Pcp.,l
lillll . l aSis me why cause 1 don't
I lut hick
Craft:
Miguel: Kt w)nii
I 11W1let 1,,
('rafts: liaui
Nliguel: I Liin‘
Vaal
('rafty: 1)4 wi i, thc Dom
\ lipid: I hr monki.
50(...C1 Nl,llll',
lia,tain taking
Ali} ucl: \
kVe//. ‘+. hin 1)(1‘ C. 1111, (Ilia\
I HOPE HE'S NOT
GIVING ME SOME
FANCY MEDAL.
LLY O'KEE
Page lla
hei
NP-....,
rengelmeyer & Davis
HE EXTENDS
HIS GRATITUDE
FOR YOUR STAYING
OUT OF THE WAR
ON TERRORISM.
E WWW.MRBtUY.COM