It is the best of
times; it is the
worst of times
Americans seem to be doing a lot of
crying and even a lot of laughing these
days. This emotional roller coaster
caused by economic scares, yet
economic encouragement; sports
victories, yet national grievances; and
untamed hatred, yet explosive unity,
has sent us running to the bathroom
with our hands over our mouths.
We are posed with questions. "How
much more are they going to shove on
our plates?" "How much longer before
we just lose it all'?"
Well, for starters, on a more positive
note, our sense of unity and our overall
love of American pastimes and
athletics have kept us from completely
cocooning up - so be proud of yourself
for that.
By doing this we are bettering
ourselves as individuals as we unite
together to show our cowardly
enemies of the world that we are
stronger than any of them.
Secondly, learning from history and
our ancestors, we have refrained from
being overtaken by the consuming
wrath of fear and depression that so
many past generations suffered from
in times of tragedy, because they
simply didn't know better.
This idea reminds me of a favorite
quote of mine: "Those who do not
kittm history are doomed to repeat it."
With that note, I congratulate you,
America, for doing your homework,
by understanding and comprehending
past reactions to past tragedies.
It is sad that past generations had to
experience so much turmoil and grief
just so that future generations would
be able to learn from it, but
"everything happens for a reason" (yet
another quote I live by).
Just remember that every hardship
you experience now is one more lesson
that future generations will have to
learn and apply to their own lives.
Pennsylvanians seem to be riding on
their own emotional roller coaster
right now. While our Steelers and our
Nittany Lions seem to be overcoming
the odds with their athletic victories,
businesses and corporations are
closing their doors or moving out of
the state left and right.
Not only that, but people are afraid
to open their mail and visit shopping
centers and malls on certain days and
at certain times
With all of these images and fears
constantly looming in our minds and
plaguing our beings, many of us have
begun to question so much.
To one extreme and in one respect
we ask ourselves, "Can it get any
better?" only to turn around and ask,
"Can it get any worse?"
At this confusing time in American
and even in world history, the only
thing one can do is accentuate the
positive and overcome the negative.
"Yeah, right," you say, "easier said
then done." Well then, don't say it, do
it!
Surround yourself with people,
places and things that make you happy.
This will help you keep your mind off
the negative as you better yourself and
spread your happiness.
It can be the best of times - just as
long as you don't let the worst of times
take you over.
Kleck's column appears
every three weeks.
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6\ A Q S-* Ak r - from the students'
IP point of view
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Just a good ole boy
Press 'l' to
graduate
Katie Galley
Just a good ole boy...yea-haw! Yes, that's
right, I just wrote, "yea-haw," hut why'? Well,
simply and bluntly put, I am a redneck. Yes,
that's right, I just called myself a redneck. Not
just any redneck, though. I am a redneck who
is proud that they are a redneck. It's in my
roots, what can I do? But before you judge
me as some hick sitting out on the hack porch,
chewing on a piece of hay, let me explain
myself to you and let me defend the fact that
I am a redneck.
Reason number one: I was conceived and
born in the wonderful state of Georgia. That's
right, I am a "litta Georga peach. - I always
have been, I always will he. While some kids
were playing in sandboxes, I was clawing and
patting the red clay that served as dirt in the
south. But it goes deeper than that. My
King Kong was misunderstood
This all occurred to while listening to Jim
Croce one day when I pondered the line, "balder
than old King Kong." What makes King Kong
so bad? He didn't really do anything all that had.
What did he do? Climbed a building and swatted
at a few planes. It not like he stole your car or
robbed your house. He was just an oversiied,
We hate love letters.
We love hate letters.
Send letters, both positive
and negative, to the editor!
behrcoll2@aol.com
Got something to dra
We're looking for
vet proportional gorilla. Everyone gave him static
'Sweet Lou because he wasn't a traditional gorilla and
Whitaker and brainwashed the population into thinking he
was a menace. Well, I'm not buying it.
the 'B7 Ti g ers Gorillas lot the most part are sensitive animals
with no intent of hurting anyone; they just want
Mi ke Butala to protect themselves. If people were shooting
at you and flying around you in planes,
wouldn't you he upset? I know I would. Look
at other things that are oversized that do not
get any ridicule from anyone else. Things such
as James's Giant Peach, Andre the Giant and
Fpcot Center were a lot bigger than their
traditional size and did not get ostracized from
'Ws
1:,
Friday, November 2, 2001
I Cartoonists
email behrcoll2@aol.com
rl alltillMl !ICI ‘‘.as horn and raised in
North ( 'andilla, and for years I thought
'hat the word "pen - was actually
pronounced "pin - and the word - hill"
44 10‘
came out as "hell - . Southern accents
f.'''-4......f>tt - rule! Soon to come, my
~-e . , personalized license plate that
3,4:
r ': ..,:,.,..' ' .., reads, Ist Pchy. - Look for it on
; , :.:?1A:t" .
a silver Prim near you!
:,.' Reason number two: I
actually like the WWF. Not
only that. but I have paid
real money to see this
entertainment in person!
We are talking hundreds of dollars when you
add them all up! And yes, I do sit in front of
the television on Monday nights waiting to
see 'I he Rock (my favorite wrestler) come out
and say some funny lines and do obviously
fake moves on other grown men. And why do
I e‘cil find this entertaining? That's right,
because I am a redneck! I can state with a
.tiaiglit lace that I own not one, but two action
figures of wrestlers. Sure, both of them were
gilts, hut I display them on my dresser. One
of them even talks! How's that for cool?
Reason number three: I listen to country
inusic. { fold on though. don't freak out yet. I
don't listen to all country music because I
would probably go insane, but I do like my
share of it. 'I he Dixie Chicks and Tim
McGraw to name a couple, there's nothing
everyone
James's Giant Peach got wide publicity and
created a financial enterprise for James's two
aunts and got them out of financial turmoil,
although James did not get a nickel for his efforts.
No one said, - That huge peach is a nuisance and
the world would he better off if it had never
existed. - No one shot at it and shouted profanities
at it, unlit it broke loose and created havoc on the
DON'T FiniSN oFF
me ORANGe Mice
NOT Tem ANYONe
sq z gre'D Y,
user
The Hot Debate of the Week
Smokin' in the boys room!
A few years ago when I had the joy of living
in Perry Hall (aka the ghetto dorm), I remember
a nice spring morning when the snow finally
melted and the sun was trying to peek through.
And yet, I was still blinded by whiteness.
How can that be? Because, with the snow
gone, the cigarette butts that had been hidden
for six months were exposed. An eight-foot
radius arcluxkthe ent4srch,,w,p an appealing
mix of mit4l4l4l*SfloAtrevented the
janitors *ltgtaiiiiit bps as is done
daily duriq the Otir 464,*5
4 4 ,
There are plenty of containers for ashes and
butts outside of Perry, as there are outside of
most campus buildings. But no one uses them.
It is apparently more fun to flick the still
smoking cig into the air and watch it fall to the
grass to sputter out and die with its comrades.
And what about those nice, frosty mornings
when you are scurrying to class? You are
already huffing and puffing and just as you
reach the entryway, you try to catch your breath
and suck in a big gulp of ... cigarette smoke,
which then forces you into the throws of a
coughing fit as you attempt to maneuver your
way around the dozen or so smokers loitering
outside the building. And isn't it so cool to be
standing around an entryway in below-zero
temps, huddling together like a bunch of
moronic birds, just to minimize lung capacity
a little bit more?
Smoking should be greatly limited on
campus, if not banned altogether. Sure, you
have the right to smoke and get lung cancer
and stink and cough the whole way through
your classes. Go right ahead. But when your
habit affects my health, your rights end. And
when•your reeking and hacking distracts me
from learning, sorry, but it's my turn to stomp
on someone's butt.
College students have proven time and again
that they are irresponsible slobs. Go take a stroll
through Perry on a Saturday morning, if you
don't believe me. No one uses the cigarette
receptacles? Fine take 'em away and the cigs
with them. Then the janitors will have more
time to clean the feces out of the lobby and clear
the graffiti from the stalls.
- L. Hayes
Every week, two editors from the staff will debate a topic that is hot. Students, faculty and staff
are encouraged to email suggestions for the hot topic. Send ideas to behrcoll2@aot com
wrong with that, right'? And I suppose since
we are on the subject of music, the fact that I
also play the violin (which can double as a
fiddle) doesn't help my cause. And I do get
excited when the song "The devil went down
to Georgia" comes on the radio...or on my
CD player when I put it in there. Okay, okay,
I like more than just a couple of country songs.
It's not my fault though, remember, I am a
redneck by blood. As much as I fought the
redneck gene for years, it has been slowly
starting to leak out. But don't be expecting
me to go line dancing anytime soon that might
be too much for me to handle.
Reason number four: This is possibly the
most embarrassing thing that I have ever
admitted to the Behrend campus but I have
been to an actual NASCAR race. And let me
tell you where I went to this race. In none other
than Richmond, Va., home of the
Confederacy! You don't get more redneck
than that!
It wasn't a one-time thing, though. I initially
went to it because my boyfriend invited me,
and being the good girlfriend that I am, I tried
it so I could get involved with things that he
likes. Big mistake! After we left Richmond, I
found myself watching the races on television
on Saturdays. At first it was just the last 10
laps or so, to see who won. Then it turned
into flipping it on every 10 minutes or so to
see if anyone new was in the lead. At this rate
Andre the Giant, a phenomenal wrestler and
world-renowned actor, was not heckled on the
wrestling mat nor was he exiled out of the United
States. The most ridicule he received was in the
"The Princess Bride," where his incredible size
was unappreciated by local townspeople when
he was dubbed the strongest man alive. In the
movie he WAS exiled, but "The Princess Bride"
was a fictitious fable of greed and organized
crime. In real life, by the respect of others and
the rational that he was an accepted member of
the United States, oversized objects should not
be condemned by their size, especially when they
cannot help it.
Now for Epcot Center, symbolized by a big,
silver ball. This landmark is not only accepted
for its size, it is appreciated by young and old as
a salvation from work and a place where
happiness and family bonding can be correlated.
People actually pay money to Epcot Center to
see the attractions and state-of-the-art visual
effects. They patronize this spherical monstrosity
and create pilgrimages to Florida to experience
the mechanical wonder. They also pay homage
The Behrend Beacon
When I hear the suggestion that smoking
should be banned on campus my immediate men
tal reflex is to think, "What kind of ludicrous idea
is that?" And then I answer myself, "It is an idea
from someone who thinks that he is better than
smokers and wants to push a feel-good rule
through the Behrend system to attempt to save
the world from evil tobacco."
Let me Nw,..,5tatc 4 , ,, ., Ia no oke. I hate
cigarettesi;'oo , f;'O e fact that a
tobacco habit ca LA ney and do a
number 49* t h n ealth. But I
do believe g 1 theithis ers outweigh
the preferences of some non-smokers. I respect
the decisions of others. I do not go off on self
righteous tangents about how some choose to
smoke and ruin their lives, give others cancer
through the unproven theory of second-hand
smoking, sell their souls to the devil for a light,
and offer their first born son to hum a smoke, etc.
etc. etc
Here is the deal: Some people like to smoke
and some people don't. The ones who do not
smoke try to bend the rules and the system to their
liking. That is wrong. This campus takes great
pride in its many forms of tolerance, and then
can we not tolerate smokers? It is legal to smoke
if you are over the age of 18, so what is the beef?
If students want to smoke then let them smoke.
We do not need another rule on this campus.
The ones who believe that smoking should be
banned on campus will try to make the argument
that we who support smoking are pro lung can
cer. That argument is bunk, we are pro rights and
anti needless rules. What will they pick on next
the cookies in Bruno's? Maybe they will try to
ban fattening foods on campus because they are
bad for one's health. I guess the ones in the pro
cookie camp will be called pro heart attack.
Pro heart attack or pro lung cancer, either way
all should just let people do what they do as long
as it does not harm others. Let those who smoke,
smoke, and those who eat cookies, eat cookies.
To use a trite phrase, live and let live. Smokers
of the campus unite!
I will watch entire races on television by
Christmas. I even know the names of about
20 racers and I know that there is no racer
named "Bobby Dale," as I originally thought.
The best part of the race for me though, was
getting invited to sit next to a man with very
little teeth and tattoos of entire race cars on
his arms, because he heard that it was my first
race and he felt the need to lend me his
headphones so I could listen to the drivers talk
to their pit crews. The horror. The horror.
So, where do I see myself in the future, with
all this redneck oozing out of my veins?
Driving a car with my "Jst Pchy" license plate
on the back and my airbrushed 'Redneck@O'
license plate on the front. Probably getting
engaged during "Cock Fight Night" at the
local bar. Wearing wife-beater tank tops and
flip-flops in the middle of winter. You name
it; it is unstoppable at this point.
I am sure that if I sat here for another 20
minutes or so, I could easily come up with
about five or six more reasons why I am a
huge redneck, but I have to get going because
the NASCAR race at Phoenix is almost over
and I need to see the cars cross the finish line!
So remember, ya'll come back now, ya hear?!
Galley's calumn appears
every three weeks.
to Mickey Mouse, a false God and idol. By the
age of 4, these people's children have committed
heresy against their own religion while humming
the tune of "It's a Small World."
All of those things are accepted into society
and some are even beloved landmarks while an
animal, which has feelings just like you and me,
is killed shamelessly. You should all be ashamed
of yourselves, prosecuting an innocent animal
with no trial, no jury, and no appeals court, just
execution.
People like big houses, big cars, Big Macs and
big checking accounts, however big gorillas are
singled out and judged impractically. So in
conclusion, don't disrespect King Kong for his
size. You need to accept new and different things,
and a 100-foot tall gorilla is a good place to start.
Broaden your horizons and look for the
misunderstood homeless orphan beneath the
gorilla. Leroy Brown and junkyard dogs are bad,
not exorbitant gorillas.
Butala's column appears
every three weeks.
. ' F ' P. i
-G. Reschenthaler