FRIDAY, APRIL 27, 2001
The weekly column that asks if there is intelligent life out there
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU AGAIN, SIR: A burglar, who broke into a house in the town of
Ipoh, Malaysia, fled when the occupants unexpectedly returned home, but, in his haste, left the
keys to his getaway car behind. He had to go back and ask for them. The people refused to give
them up, so the burglar removed the license plate from his car and left.
I THINK I'LL CALL IT 'SWEAT': A man frequented a sauna in Frankfurt, Germany, to
surreptitiously film naked patrons with a miniature camera in his hair gel bottle. The staff
became suspicious, because they noticed he was constantly holding the bottle. The man was
arrested and banned from the sauna for life. He told police he was making the film for "artistic
purposes."
YOU CAN HAVE HIM, LADY: A middle-aged woman in Dong Nai, Vietnam, unable to get
her husband to give up his young lover, came up with a deal in which the wife would come
away with something at least: She sold her husband to his mistress for about $5OO. The man and
the other woman immediately set up housekeeping together, and the 41-year-old wife is now
living blissfully alone.
Figure out the quote and who said it by figuring out what these
letters translate to. Your clue: 0 equals T.
"J LB IFO OAY GLQZY FC OAY
FSYDPAYVBJIX PLSY FC KQBE, J LB
BYDYVH L SJGOJB... J PLZI'O KQBE EYCFDY
J WFJIYK OAY MLMYD."
WLZFI ZIHKYD
Last Issue's Answer: "Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers
talk while other people sleep."
PTAIN RIBMAN I. Father Knows Best
V MY DAD SAYS "I
YOU'RE A SELLOUT.
reek Column
First of all we like to say
congratulations to all the new Greek
members. We would also like to thank
Chris Rizzo and Kris Motta for all their ' l4
help this past semester.
Well, another semester is almost
over, and it seems that Greek life is
getting better and better everyday.
Interfraternity Council and Panhellenic
Council have been working hard this
last semester, but we just like people to
know you haven't seen anything yet.
Next semester we will start some new
programs like Radio Wars, speaker
series, and ARC events. We will also
be improving our old programs like
by Mike Pingree
TMS Campus
BEACON CODES
NOBODY CALLS
MI A "BAD
ROLE-A4OO/ELI
Greek Week, Walk for Diabetes, and
Rush.
Next semester we are looking
forward to having our new Greek
advisor. Interfraternity Council is also
starting up a web page to help inform
students of events upcoming on
campus.
So be prepared for great events
next semester and good luck to every
one on your finals.
Greek Facts
Think About It!!!
76% of US Congressman and
Senators are Greek
Greeks make up 80% of Fortune 500
Executives
85% of the Supreme Court justices
since 1910 are Greek
Over 70% of Greeks graduate from
college, while only 50% of other
students do
Seven out of ten listed in "Who's Who
in America" are Greek
78% of Lawyers are Greek
More than 75% of the US presidents
have been Greek
This is a paid advertisement by Intofraternity Council
r - ErTr)
u1‘.1,4,2)
Albert Camus
r&Davi
Crossword
ACROSS
1 Tenth mo.
4 Tiller's tool
7 Coupe, e.g.
10 A pair
13 Disfigure
14 Removal mark
16 Moray
17 Even one
18 Joint seals
19 Henpeck
20 "Goblin Market"
poet
22 Honshu port
24 Resolve
25 Scandinavian
28 Lend a hand
29 Vote against
30 South of France
33 Fettuccine, e.g.
36 Small boy
37 Act petulant
38 Witty Woody
39 Summer drink
40 Turns on a pivot
41 False god
42 Something to
bark?
43 Peevish
44 Theater area
45 Bound
46 Potbelly
47 In the arms of
Morpheus
49 Worshiper
53 Feel
55 Hamlet's castle
57 Be in debt
58 Inform
61 Tourist's guide
62 Actor Marvin
63 Ironer
64 School grp.
65 Go wrong
66 Boozer
67 Nincompoop
68 Cover crop
DOWN
1 Sharif and Epps
2 Tippy craft
3 Secret
rendezvous
4 Of an idealist
philosophy
5 Spoke from a
soapbox
© 2001 Tribune Media Services, Inc
All rights reserved.
6 Bridge position Solutions
7 Pool tool?
8 Creative skill
9 Make fairway
repairs
10 Clinging
11 Frail
12 Russian saint
15 Naked swimmers
21 Like the man
without a country
23 Fool
26 Like the old
bucket of song
27 Cereal grass
31 Composition for a
couple
32 _-bitsy
33 Well adjunct
34 Ray of "God's
Little Acre"
35 Inventor of
catchphrases 48 Bounds 54 Bedside pitcher
36 Sierra Nevada 50 Frolics 56 Alther or Kudrow
resort 51 Muse of lyric 59 Paid athlete,
40 All-night poetry briefly
crammers 52 Return in kind 60 Family dog
42 Thar blows! 53 Cobbler's
46 Radon and neon concern