FRIDAY, MARCH 16, 2001
What are we
serving tonight?
Chicken,
or...chicken?
Kundman
On Monday,
November 27 th , (my
22 nd birthday!) I
received an email informing me I had won
tickets to Thrasher’s Skater of the Year
Party (SOTY). SOTY is basically what
you would get if you combined the
Emmys with a high school kegger but
replaced the snooty actors and actress with
a ton of famous skateboarders and
gorgeous women. The only obstacle I
faced was the fact that the SOTY was in
San Francisco that Friday, and I had no
transportation. Fortunately, I am a
Sagittarius, and I attack problems with the
ferocity of a drunk monkey. By Thursday,
I had found cheap tickets, a place to crash,
and a ride from the airport.
I began my journey at 10 a.m. Friday. 1
purchased a 35mm point and shoot from
Best Buy, and as I was sprinting out the
door, the bag split, sending my camera
tumbling to the ground.
1 arrived at Pittsburgh Airport one hour
early, and my flight arrived one hour late.
The man at the airline counter assured me
1 would make my connecting. (“Making
up time in the air” is a cruel hoax perpetu
ated by Satan and people who work at
airline ticket counters. Worm Holes exist
on Star Trek, BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE!
I paid $4.50 for a Murphy’s Irish Ale. I
boarded my flight. I arrived in Cincinnati
at the same time my connecting flight was
to leave. I sprinted through the airport, but
still missed my connecting flight. I called
the woman at the “help" desk mean
names, (mind you, my flight was origi
nally scheduled to arrive in San Francisco
at 6:18 p.m.,and the earliest I would be
arriving was 10:48 p.m., causing me to
miss a significant portion of SOTY) I left
a message on Brian’s (my ride and partner
in crime for the weekend) voice mail to
inform him of my new flight arrangement.
I sat in a bar at Cincinnati’s airport for
four hours with Anthony, the guy who sat
next to me on the flight. I finally boarded
my flight to San Francisco. I had an aisle
to myself. 1 had a high school age couple
directly behind me who bickered inces-
santly in that awful high school manner.
I arrived in San Francisco four hours
and thirty minutes late. Brian was not at
the gate. My cell phone battery died
immediately after landing. I proceeded to
the baggage claim. Brian was not there. I
proceeded to the gate. Brian was not there
I paged Brian for an hour and a half. No
Brian. 1 called my aunt and uncle who
lived 30 minutes away. No answer. My
card ran out. I quickly ran out of
change, had no small bills, and phone
cards were $2O for 40 minutes. A cab ride
to San Francisco would have been a
million dollars. Cab fare to my aunt and
uncle’s would have been $5O or $60.1
slept in San Francisco airport, Delta
Airlines baggage claim 16, until 7 a.m.,
when Brian showed up.
Brian thought my flight number was
1609, not 1619. 1609 was supposed to
arrive at the same time, was a different
airline entirely, and was canceled. Brian
waited for the flight he thought 1 would be
on. Which I wasn’t on. Brian drove back
to Monterey (an hour and half.) At 4 a.m.,
he called my parents. He assumed I was
still in Pittsburgh, that my flight had been
canceled. My parents paged me, and I told
them the situation. They called him back,
and he drove back up to San Francisco.
On the way back up, he ran out of gas and
had to walk 45 minutes to get gas for his
Had I charged my cell phone battery,
paged the entire airport, called Brian s
correct number (1 dialed his old number
when I was in Cinnci), rented a car,
scheduled a flight for Thursday rather than
Friday, yelled when I was in Pittsburgh to
get a different flight directly to San Fran,
or any one of other things, I would have
made it to SOTY.
Much props to Emusic for the free
tickets, Jake Phelps for throwing a killer
party, Lindsey at High Speed for the free
Thrasher gear, Best Buy for having crappy
bags, Delta Airlines for sucking, my Aunt
Loretta and Uncle Jim for putting me up
with three days notice, and Brian for
enduring some of the same hell that I did.
Kundman’s column appears every three
weeks
THE WRbOU SCANDAL TAKES ITSTbLLON TUETUNtORSENATE PRCrt NEWVcftK...
#
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Tell us what you
think!
Send a letter to the Editor!
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behrcol 12 @aol. com
Friends don’t shake hands, friends gotta hug
Besides the nine days of separation from
midterms and having to trek through six
feet of snow to class, I anticipate Spring
Break most because 1 get to spend time
with my best friends. One goes to school
five hours away in the sticks of Ohio, the
other lives only 15 minutes away, but has a
conflicting schedule. But for those nine
days, I get to spend countless chaotic hours
with two of my favorite people.
I have been friends with both of them for
about five years now. We all met in
preseason/hell week of soccer in high
school. One I became close friends after 1
kicked her hand and put her in a cast for six
Let me sleep for the love of God!
UJ. Oh, You
''US*'' Didn’t Know ?
Benacci
Question: What do the Lost Ark and the
average college student’s free time have in
common?
Answer: Both are very sacred.
For most of us, college life is busy
enough. Our lives consist of tests,
homework, and studying, so we often see
ourselves having to adapt to things, since
we don’t have a lot of free time.
It would seem obvious that one would
understand the value of the little amount of
free time that we have, right? Evidently
not. Now, I don’t know about the rest of
you, but lam often bothered by.. .the credit
card companies. Who do I blame for this
great annoyance? Penn State.
It seems as if every major credit card
company is trying to get my name on their
card. How do they attempt this? 1) They
send tons of mail to my Penn State
mailbox, 2) They set up a little booth in the
Fighting over something with your friends ? Want to see it debated
in the newspaper ? Send us your idea 9 and we will debate it in our
weeks —hence, I was obligated to
cany her books, help her with her
' J r» f i accounting homework, and
llllUClt ifOOlCni apologize a thousand times over
Paige Miles
*Hot Debate 99 of the weeh discussion!
behrcoll2@aol.com
i (She's still waiting for the perfect
moment to kick the crap out of me so
I know what it’s like). From that point
on. we spend every weekend going to
Otters games and chasing down the hot
goalies. Eventually, we both got jobs and
didn't see each other outside of school very
often, but while in school still managed to
cause enough trouble between Spanish and
English class. Now, we have both gone our
separate ways. We talk once in awhile when
one of us is in crisis, whether it involves
boys, school, or family problems.
Both of us have changed tremendously. I
have never seen her wear makeup or
anything besides a baggy T-shirt in my
life—hist week I first saw her wear a baby
tee and lip gloss.
Chances arc, if we were still in high
school and both of us had gone through
these changes, we wouldn’t be friends. But
now, as we both have grown up a lot and
also become more immature in some ways,
Reed Union Building, 3) They call me (the
worst by far). The companies seem to
use a different ploy with each attempt
I will outline them for you.
The first method, the mail
method, is definitely the most
feeble of the three. The credit
card companies constantly send
pamphlets to students that explain
how easy it is to obtain a credit card.
Some of these pamphlets even show
pictures of students; but not just any
students, these are smiling students. Oh,
they’re so happy because they have a card
that can buy them pizza, CD’s and clothes,
however, the pamphlet doesn’t tell or show
the negatives of credit cards such as debt
and overspending. Hey Visa, after I file for
bankruptcy, can 1 trade my card in for a
nice cardboard box?
As I said earlier, the second approach that
credit card companies use is to set up a
booth in the Reed Union Building. I have
noted that the booth is either manned by
employees of the credit card company or by
Penn State Behrend students (darn
fundraisers!), but one thing is always
constant, they try to give a person crappy
gifts so they sign up for the card.
If I were to rack my brains and rank the
three stupidest gifts that I have ever seen, I
would definitely have to go with: 3) A
water bottle, 2) A waterproof hand radio (It
‘The Hot Debate of The Week’
Every time a school shooting happens in
this country, we waste no time asking
questions about what to do with gun control.
We ask where the parents were and why a
student could be so messed up that he/she
would go to a school and start shooting
people.
We see the media interviewing the friends
of the victims, meaning the ones that got
shot, so that this country can see how much
pain has been caused by these “mad" and
“crazed” gunmen. However, the shooting at
Santana High Scuol in California has
brought up a different question. What was
the real cause for this shooting?
The cause was none other than daily
occurrences of torment inflicted upon Andy
Williams. Sure, a rough family life may
contribute, but Williams wasn’t shooting
bullets at his parents.. .he shot them at his
classmates.
We shouldn’t condone what Williams has
done. He was wrong. But we shouldn’t
look at all these students at Santana as
victims who were at the receiving end of
something they couldn’t control. Maybe the
students we see on television, crying for
what has happened were the same ones that
called Williams a homosexual, or stealing
his skateboard and shoes.
Is Williams to blame for the murders?
Yes. But would he have done this if his life
wasn't made a living hell? No. It is because
of cruel classmates that these deadly
intentions enter the minds of students that
were never given the chance to fit in.
Every week,- two editors from tlw staff will debate a topic that is hot. Students, faculty and
staff are encouraged to email suggestions for the hot topic. Send ideas to
behrcoll2@aol.com
we know that our friendship has stood the
true test of separation and time. No matter
what happens to me, she will be there to
take me to a hockey game or go shoe
shopping (running shoes only) to make me
feel better.
My other friend and I have completely
conflicting personalities; the only thing we
share is that we both hate our hometown
and the high school I attended (and she still
attends). Between practices, we spent all
our time sacrificing Happy Meal Barbies to
the boredom gods, creating chalk
masterpieces in her driveway, and throwing
various objects and the band camp crew.
When she goes to Slippery Rock in August,
she may also very well change
tremendously. Yet again, the true test of our
friendship is if she can come back for
Spring Break and we can still hang out like
we have. If I were to be stranded on an
island, these arc the two I would want there
with me (along with the male cast of
Temptation Island). These are the two that I
would want in my wedding if I were to get
married (heaven forbid). These are the two
that keep me sane when everyone else has
was so cheap!), 1) A shirt that says Visa on
it. Question? Why would anyone want a
shirt that says Visa on it?
Now, I may not be the next Karl Kani,
but I am pretty darn certain that I DID
NOT see Visa card t-shirts in the summer
issue of Style Magazine.
Most of the individuals that are working
the credit card booth are well aware of my
above observation, so they’ll do anything
that they possibly can to sucker an
individual into signing up for a card. Such
attempts include begging, flirting, and peer
pressure.
How can peer pressure be used? Well,
once a few students that were working the
credit card table observed my friend and I
and called us over. They made small talk
and asked us a few questions, and then
they asked us if we wanted to sign up for a
credit card. We declined, so they started
pleading “come on, order it, you can cut
the card up if you don’t want it.” What did
I do? I had to remember everything
(pertaining to peer pressure) that I had
learned from watching after school
specials on TV. Thank you stop sign
method, if it weren’t for you, I may have
been swayed and signed up for a credit
card.
Last, and worst by far, are the phone
calls. I don’t know about the commuters,
but all on-campus students get phone calls
Kids will be kids?
Why should kids who shoot other kids get
sympathy instead of punishment? In almost
all of the school shootings in the past four
years there have been numerous people that
have been killed. And we are supposed to
pity them because they were picked on and
teased?
While spd mean, teasing
is something thatjSfmds Idd has been
through. And white millions UpOh millions
of children manage to make it out of high
school and into society every year, we are
supposed to feel bad for the ones that
couldn’t handle it in the proper way?
All of the kids that have committed
shootings have been of an age where they
know the difference between right and
wrong. And all schools offer something
called guidance counselors who will listen
to problems and usually try to help. And if
they can’t talk to the counselors how about
a priest, a parent, and friend, or any number
of the eight hundred numbers that offer
help? There is no excuse for this sort of
violence in school.
Instead of coming in and shooting up
their schools these kids should be looking
for another outlet for their anger. Sports, or
exercise or anything! Take them on the
Maury Povich show; just don’t go around
killing people.
While our human minds will
automatically try to place the blame for this
sort of tragedy on something, it is misplaced
when pity is taken on ‘bullied kids’.
decided to snub me.
The other realization I came to over
Spring Break was that as long as I have a
few good friends that I can trust, I don’t
need the other who plaster fake smiles to
my face but quickly turn around and stab
my back. It much reminds me of fifth grade
when we would kick each other out of our
cliques because their clothes just weren’t
good enough or they weren’t as athletic as
the rest of us. These people all have
become acquaintances or completely
forgotten; they no longer matter in my daily
life. If I was to dwell on all of the petty
little things that some of my former friends
have done to me, I would me an absolutely
miserable and bitter person.
Those who choose to act in a second
grade manner although they have become
adults will play no role in my life once I
leave this campus. Hopefully, I will never
cross paths with these people again. In the
end, it is my good friends who will still be
there for me to chase hockey players and
throw sacrificed Barbies at the band camp.
Miles’ column appears every three weeks.
from credit card companies,
I always receive the calls (no matter
what day of the week it is) at
approximately an hour after I have woken
up (which is always forty minutes before
my first class). It’s as if the credit card
companies know when they should call me
Thanks Penn State.
I always know when a phone call is the
credit card company. How? They mess up
my name. It goes something like this:
(Phone rings) Me: Karl world, may I
help you?
Credit card company employee: Hello
Mr....Benachieyeeeee, you have been
approved...
Me: Oh, did I say Karl? Oh silly me.
Karl now tours with Britney Spears. He
doesn’t need a credit card. She buys him
whatever he needs. And they are going to
get married and have lots of kids and...
(Pause...l hang up the phone).
I’m going to break it down now. Students
go to college to get an education. We are
busy. We don’t need to be bugged by credit
card companies.
I think that it’s wrong of Penn State to
allow credit card companies to mail us, call
us, and bug us on campus. I don’t want a
dam credit card, and if and when I want
one, I’ll let you know. Until then, buzz off!
Benacci’s column appears every three
weeks.