FRIDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2000 The difference between a bat, a ball, a fine and a suspension Now here’s the dilemma. Do we look at the object before we pick it up to make p j sure that it is the baseball and not part of Ij '-JUt OJ BOlinaS the bat that we just saw and heard Tacnn mnvHpf* Or do we close our eyes, feel _ around and pick up whatever object we feel first? To make Clemens’ story make sense, let's suppose we kept our eyes closed. So now, we have an oblong object in our hand with sharp edges. Knowing our previous knowledge about how sharp and jagged baseballs are, we now have another decision to make. Do we take this long, sharp, jagged and surprisingly heavy "baseball” and throw it to first base to record an out, or do we keep our eyes closed and heave the ball to where our imagination is telling us first base is? Again, for Clemens' sake, we keep our eyes closed and throw the “baseball” where our imagination tells us to. Oops. Our disliked Mets slugger happens to be in the path of our “baseball” which just misses his feet by an inch or so. After opening our eyes, we see that the object we threw wasn’t a baseball, it was a bat. Oh well, someone else from our team had their eyes open and got the out. The moral of the story: a ball is round and light in weight. A bat is heavy and gets sharp edges when it is broken. Also, keeping your eyes open during the World Series is usually important for success. So with that said and a lesson learned for all, why don’t MLB officials open their eyes and come to terms with what really There’s a war in New York, and bats and balls are flying everywhere, literally. After beaning Mike Piazza in the head with a baseball this past July, Yankee pitcher Roger Clemens went one step further this past Sunday, lobbing part of Piazza’s broken bat in the direction of the Mets' slugger. Clemens, a five-time Cy Young Award winner, has recently been fined $50,000 for his actions, despite stating his ludicrous cldim that he thought the shattered bat was a baseball. It's apparent that the Cy Young Award measures only talent in pitching baseballs, not knowing what they are or what you are supposed to do with them tiller they are hit. Let’s imagine we are Roger Clemens for one moment. Our rival team containing our most disliked player is visiting us for Game 2 of the World Series. The player that we just nailed in the head with a baseball is up to bat. We know that we have to pitch clean, given the history, so we do. Unfortunately. Piazza gets a piece of the ball (with his bat. not his head), and with it sends a foot-long piece of his shattered bat to our feet Behrend Scores Women’s Soccer Oct. 19 vs. John Carroll L - Oct. 21 vs. Brockport L 4-2 Oct. 24 at Buffalo State W 2-0 Men’s Soccer Oct. 21 vs. Brockport W 5-2 Oct. 25 at case Western Reserve L 2-1 Volleyball Oct. 20 at Penn State Altoona W 3-0 Oct. 21 at Frostburg L 3-0 Oct. 24 at Pitt-Bradford W 3-2 Cross Country No meets scheduled Women’s Tennis Oct. 18 vs. John Carroll W 5-4 Oct. 21 at AMCC Tourna ment Penn State Behrend 18 Penn State Altoona 12 Frostburg 5 Pitt-Greensburg 5 La Roche 2 Men’s Golf The season has concluded Men’s Water Polo The season has concluded AUegkmy happened? As stupid as Clemens’ explanation is. there isn’t a law in baseball that allows (Standings as of October 23, 2000) WOMEN’S SOCCER School Penn State Behrend La Roche Frostburg Pitt-Bradford Lake Erie Pitt-Greensburg MEN'S SOCCER School Frostburg La Roche Penn State Behrend Pitt-Greensburg Lake Erie Pitt-Bradford WOMEN S TENNIS School Penn State Behrend Penn State Altoona Frostburg La Roche Pitt-Greensburg WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL School Frostburg Penn State Behrend Pitt-Bradford Penn State Altoona Pitt-Greensburg La Roche Lake Erie AMCC STANDINGS Conference record 5-0 3-2 3-2 2-3 2-3 0-5 Conference record 5-0 4-1 3-2 2-3 1-4 0-5 Conference Record Conference Record Overall 10-0 26-3 morons to “plead stupidity.” So how can a player get away with a $50,000 fine (pennies for a MLB pitcher) for throwing a baseball bat at his enemy? For some reason, it is as if stupidity is contagious among MLB players and officials when it comes to decision making in October. When Roberto Alomar spit in the face of an umpire just a couple of years ago, baseball held off his suspension until the opening of the next season. Now, Clemens throws a bat at someone, finishes his eight, two-hit shutout innings of baseball and can pitch another game if the series goes that far. What is the moral of this story? They are basically saying that all is fair in love, war and the baseball playoffs. We can put a five-year old in time out for swinging bats at people, but we can’t put the almighty Yankee pitcher in the dugout for a game. It's sad enough that a five-year old knows more about self control than Roger Clemens. It’s even more sad that a first grade teacher knows more about discipline than Major League Baseball’s disciplining committee. Snyder’s sports column appears every two MONEY FINE weeks THE SCOREBOARD Overall 13-4 13-5 9-6 7-10 5-12 0-12 Overall 10-4 6-8-2 8-7-1 7-7-2 1-12 4-12 Overall 16-2 9-4 5-7 1-6 1-11 7-3 15-9 5-5 12-10 3-6 4-16 1-8 2-22 0-10 0-10 vOIyVWKV BASEBALL Major League Baseball Playoffs AL Championship Series Seattle Mariners vs. New York Yankees Game 1 .Mariners 2, Yankees 0 Game 2: Yankees 7, Mariners 1 Game 3: Yankees 8, Mariners 2 Game 4: Yankees 5, Mariners 0 Game 5: Mariners 6, Yankees 2 Game 6: Yankees 9, Mariners 7 NL Championship Series New York Mets vs. St. Louis Cardinals Game 1: Mets 6, Cardinals 2 Game 2: Mets 6, Cardinals 5 Game 3: Cardinals 8, Mets 2 Game 4: Mets 10, Cardinals 6 Game 5: Mets 7, Cardinals 0 NASCAR WINSTON CUP Leaders as of 10/15 1. Bobby Labonte, 4645 2. Dale Earnhardt, 4444 3. Jeff Burton, 4394 4. Dale Jarrett, 4315 5. Ricky Rudd, 4272 6. Tony Stewart, 4210 7. Rusty Wallace, 4115 8. Mark Martin, 4042 9. Jeff Gordon, 3904 10. Ward Burton, 3809 11. Mike Skinner, 3514 12. Steve Park, 3512 13. Matt Kenseth, 3436 14. Johnny 8en50n,3389 15. Joe Nemechek, 3246 World Series Game 1: Oct. 21 Yankees 4, Mets 3(12 innings) Game 2: Oct. 22 Yankees 6, Mets 5 Game 3: Oct. 24 Mets 4, Yankees 2 Game 4: Oct. 25, Yankees 3, Met 2 Game 5: Oct. 26, N.Y. Yankees at N.Y. Mets, Bpm Game 6: Oct. 28, N.Y. Mets at N.Y. Yankees, Bpm (if necessary). Game 7: Oct. 29, N.Y. Mets at N.Y. Yankees, 8 pm (if necessary). Looking for a job? Paying above minimum wage! Apply at Eastway Lanes Kitchen help wanted evenings and weekends 4110 Buffalo Road SPRING BREAK 2001! CANCUN & BAHAMAS. EAT, DRINK, TRAVEL FOR FREE, WANTED CAMPUS REPS! Call USA SPRING BREAK, toll free (877) 460.6077, for trip information and rates. 25 Continuous Years of Student Travel! www.springbreak.com 2 All Day Peak-N-Peek Ski Lift Passes for sale. E-mail B_Tomeoo@hotmail.com for details Our thoughts are with our managing editor who has recently been admitted to the hospital, twice, for flag football related injuries. Everything is a contact sport when Frawley is inyolved. What were you doing with your finger, Mike? Miyike, Miyike, you broke your finger, not one tiyime, not two tiyimes, but three tiyimes Miyike. SUSPENSION National Football Games for Week 9 Sunday, October 29, 2000 1:00 PM Carolina at Atlanta N.Y. Jets at Buffalo Detroit at Indianapolis Cincinnati at Cleveland Green Bay at Miami Pittsuburgh at Baltimore Minnesota at Tampa Bay 4:15 PM Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants New Orleans at Arizona St. Louis at San Francisco Jacksonville at Dallas Kansas City at Seattle 8:35 PM Oakland at San Diego Monday, October3o, 2000 9:00 PM Tennessee at Washington BEHRCOLL4@AOL.COM Spring Breakers! Cancun, Bahamas, Florida,& Jamaica. 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