page 4- The Behrend College Beacon. Thursday. November 19 . 1998
The Behrend College Beacon
published weekly by the students of Penn State Erie. The Behrend College
News Kditor
Will Jordan
Photography Editor
Ainhra '/affino
Associate Editor
A talk Gncnhank
Business Manager
.lainic Davis
Advisors
Robert Speel
Jim O'l.oitithltn
The Beacon is
published weekly by the students of
Penn State Erie, The Behrend
College: Farsi Floor. The J. Elmer
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9288.
Postal Informatioi ,
A view from the lighthouse
Growth at Behrend
could cause problems
Behrend recently unveiled its Mas
ter Plan, which outlines the planned
growth of the College in the coming
years. Behrend expects to have
around 7,000 students in the next ten
to fifteen years. Obviously this will
necessitate more residence halls and
classroom buildings. There is plenty
of space for new structures, as Be
hrend has more acreage that Univer
sity Park, hut the trick will be to re
tain the natural setting that Behrend
now enjoys.
In many ways, development is very
welcome. The campus will become
a more active entity with the increase
in on campus population. Also, with
the new sewer and w ater lines and the
construction of the Hast Side highway,
development around campus will add
to the quality of life.
The main concern of such growth
has to do with the classroom. Stu
dents at Behrend appreciate the small
classes, which allow them to get to
Ted Turner for President? Don’t Count Him Out
By James P. Pinkerton
Special to Newsday
Ted Turner for president? That’s
what The New Yorker says. Could
Turner founder and owner of net
works, studios and sports teams, win
ner of the America's Cup yacht race,
Jane Fonda’s husband, the man who
gave the United Nations a billion dol
lars and yet still ranks 15th on the
Forbes 400 really be interested in the
White H ouse?
On Nov. 6, Turner reeeived the
World Citizenship Award from the
Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, a
Santa Barbara, Calif.-based group
that advocates the abolition of nuclear
weapons. After his speech, writer
Anne Louise Bardach reports. Turner
told a huddle of fatcats, “I am very
Editor in Chief
Anne Riijotte
Managing Kditor
twi/r/r Join '
Features Editor
Jon Stubbs
Sports Editor
Jason Snyder
Layout Editors
Mike Perkins
Rose I'orrest
Advertising Managers
Lnn Edinyer
Cares Smith
Letter Poll
encourages letters to the editor.
Letters should include the address,
phone number, semester standing and
major of the writer. Writers can mail
their letters to behrcoll2(3’aol.com.
Letters must be received no later than
spm Tuesday for inclusion in that
week’s issue.
know professors and other students.
Rapid growth may cause an increase
in the classroom population. A major
reason many students attend Behrend
is the small college aspect. II Behrend
students want to experience a big col
lege, the will go to University Park.
Behrend currently is a good alter
native to Penn State students who do
not want to he in a large setting. It
this changes, students may look for
this atmosphere elsewhere.
serious about running for president.”
Turner was born an American citi
zen and he’s past 35; he turns 60
Thursday so nothing in the Constitu
tion prohibits him from running.
Turner surely recalls that another
brash billionaire, Ross Perot, who
announced his presidential candidacy
on Turner’s CNN, was running ahead
of the two major-party candidates in
the polls for a while in 1992. And just
this month, Jesse ‘‘The Body” Ventura
won the governorship of Minnesota
as an independent outsider.
So is it Turner’s turn ? Reached for
comment in Atlanta, publicist Phillip
Evans read the following statement;
"At this time, Mr. Turner has no plans
to run for office.” That doesn’t ex
actly slam the door shut. According
to James H. Lake, who was Ronald
The Lobster and the Music to the Dance o
Bomb Iraq and get it over with
As best as I can recall, we won
the Gulf War. However, since the
end of it seven years ago, Saddam
Hussein has been trying to boss
around the US, and we have let
him.
Every couple weeks he decides
to expel the weapons inspectors,
presumably so he can relocate his
weapon cache. He only allows
them back in when we threaten
force, but by then it is too late. We
threaten over and over again, but
never carries through with our
threats.
The Beacon
Hussein just recently pulled his
antics again, and once again we
threatened him, and once again at
the 11th hour he relents, and we
say “that’s fine.” This game of cat
and mouse cannot go on forever,
The Critic
A survival guide to Christmas at the mall
It seems to creep up on us earlier
earlier and earlier each year. Thanks'
giving isn’t even here yet, but mer
chants and store owners have already
begun decking their aisles and store
fronts with boughs of holly and spray
ing snow-in-a-can on their windows
like madmen. Welcome or not, the
Christmas shopping season has ar
rived. Therefore, like good Ameri
cans, we will soon find ourselves (if
we haven't already) Hocking to the
ultimate mecca of shopping, the mall.
By now, we have all become aware
of certain aspects of mall shopping
that we wish we didn’t have to en
dure. The off-season is bad enough,
but these unpleasantries of that which
is the mall become ten times more ir
ritating during the Christmas season.
So if the reader doesn't mind, I'd like
to vent my frustrations about the mall
and humanity in general. Come, vent
with me. Let the healing process be-
Reagan’s press secretary in his 1976,
1980 and 1984 presidential cam
paigns; "Thai sounds like a guy who’s
running for office.”
Lake continued: " 'At this time’ is
a holding statement... It sounds to me
like a trial balloon from Turner.”
Full disclosure here: I’m a contrib
uting analyst for the Fox News Chan
nel, which is owned by the News
Corp., which is controlled by Rupert
Murdoch. CNN and Fox are not only
rivals in the cable news business, but
Turner is open in his scorn for
Murdoch; he once compared him to
Adolf Hitler and even challenged him
Editorial
I’d like to begin by discussing a
to a boxing match.
So, having put my cards down on
the table, let me tell you what I really
think of Ted Turner: 1 hope he runs.
With the Monica Lewinsky case pe-
So, VIMm THIHK
Amount fttfc faction
and unless we act, it will. The
weapon inspectors keep saying
that they get close to stopping
Hussein's weapon productions,
but then have to start all over again
after being readmitted to the coun
try.
We have been lenient too long,
and although I have been a big fan
of Clinton, I think that he is mak
ing big mistakes when it comes to
Iraq. By allowing Saddam to bla
tantly act carefree in the face of
the American military we are be
ing made to look like fools. Ev
ery lime we decide not to carry
through with our threats, Saddam
declares a victory, and in a way he
is not just spreading propaganda,
he is achieving a victory.
Clinton’s recent threats to Iraq
unique breed of people. Unfortu- j ng t 0 earn a little bit of cash, which
nately we see these people every- j s a dmirable. However, they are un
where and all the time, not just at the noying. But I have a perfect way of
mall and not just during Christmas dealing with them. When they ask
time: couples who dress alike. I was y OU jf you’d like to answer a few
lucky enough to witness a pair of these questions, just say, “Hey, man, I know
creatures while shopping just the it's only 9:30 in the morning, but I’m
other night. The two were in their so drunk I can’t even sec straight."
mid-twenties (that’s the sad part), Nobody wants the opinion of a drunk,
dressed in identical Cleveland Indi- Next on my list of mall-related pet
ans jackets. The wife was introduc- peeves are the people who take their
ing her husband to a friend: "Oh, so- entire family of fifteen to the mall, and
and-so, this is my husband!” So you’re wa ik side by side through the mall like
not just two morons who happened to the cast of Reservoir Dogs at two
be wearing the same clothes? All I strides per hour, blocking your way.
can say to these people is that iflever $ 0 y OU fj n d yourself following these
have a nervous breakdown and go on people close behind, trying to get
a shooting spree, you’ll be the first ar ound them, and wondering if other
I’ll be looking for. You’ve been people think that you're part of their
family. Now I wouldn't present a
warned
Now, more mall-specific, are the
people who stand at strategic loca
tions throughout the mall with their
clipboards and tell you that they ‘'want
to know what you think." Now, 1 un-
derstand that these folks are just try-
tering out, and the prospect of the
Democratic and Republican presiden
tial nomination going to Vice Presi
dent A 1 Gore and Texas Gov. George
Bush; nice fellows, but nary a good
scandal between them, at least not
yet; there’s a serious news hole to
fill. Not every potential presidential
candidate comes with nicknames
such as “The Mouth of the South” and
“Captain Outrageous.” Indeed, most
don’t say, as Turner did, that Chris
tianity is “a religion for losers.” Or
that the “Star Spangled Banner”
should be replaced with a less “war
like” anthem. Or who volunteered, in
the wake of the Heaven’s Gate sui
cides, “There are already too many
people in this world. If a few crazy
people want to get rid of themselves,
it’s a good thing.”
have improved our position
slightly. He decided to be tough
and not allow Iraq to dominate the
negotiations that would resolve the
crisis. But every day that Saddam
is still in power is a victory lor
him.
We have had no choice but to
embargo Iraq since the end ol the
war, and by doing so we have
caused famine and death to spread
across the land. The Iraqi people
are for the most part innocent.
They cannot oust a man with such
a large army. Some people are
calling for an end to the embargo
in order to alleviate the suffering
of the Iraqis, but by doing so we
are allowing Hussein to win. We
must not let him play us for tools
We cannot have him assassinated
problem without a solution. The mall
needs H.O.F. (high-occupancy fam
ily) lanes. The large tamilies can stay
to the right while the serious shoppers
can pass on the left.
My final qualm with the mall are
Is this a promising start for a White
House wannabe? The conventional
wisdom might be "no," but the pur
veyors of conventional wisdom have
been looking distinctly unwise lately.
So could Turner really be for real?
Reached for comment and context
after her scoop, The New Yorker's
Bardach said simply, "Why not?
Clinton has made the presidency
scandal-proof."
Today, the legal and perceptual in
hibitions that once prevented pluto
crats from using their own money to
run for office have effectively been
eliminated.
So while some tycoons, such as A 1
Checchi, who spent $4O million or so
to finish third in the California Demo
cratic gubernatorial primary; have
spectacularly crashed and burned.
too WWW OF '£NV
Life MIKE PERKINS
that goes against an executive or
der, but he must be removed from
power
I say, the next time that Saddam
pushes out the inspectors or tries
to impede their progress in any
way, vve don’t allow a settlement.
We must be resolved to remove
Saddam from office, and try him
as a war criminal. Only then can
the Iraqi people live without em
bargo, and only then can the thou
sands of men stationed in the
Middle East come home.
Perkins is the layout editor for the
Beacon. His column appeared
every three weeks
the perfume/cologne people that sit
poised at the entrances to department
stores, ready to pounce on you and
spray you w-ith their venom. I never
had an issue with these people until
one of them handed me a sample ol
Michael Jordan's cologne. I hardly
even touched the sample card for a
second and my hands reeked like
Jordan's back sweat for hours. I had
to use turpentine to get the smell out.
To avoid these people I suggest the
following: As the predator takes a
step towards vou. take a step back,
point to your medical alert bracelet on
your wrist, and shake your head
slowly . Say. "I'm allergic to anything
brand name." Or you can just enter
the store with your partner, the two
of you being dressed exactly alike.
They won't e\en want toget near you.
Stubbs is the features alitor for the
Beacon. His column appeared every
three weeks
many others, including 1996 presi
dential hopeful Steve Forbes, have
spent themselves into credibility.
Today, the parties are weak, spin is
strong and message is strongest of all.
If Turner could weave his own life
story; bouncing back from his
father’s suicide, he built a global
empire and then developed a social
conscience and an environmental
consciousness, into a compelling
stump speech, he could prove persua
sive to a broad group of Americans.
And, if he were willing to spend his
fortune to trumpet that message, who
knows?
But this much I do know: A Turner
run would be the best political story
since cigars and semen-stained
dresses