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Wh at do vo ii
-" Care? 40th
"Wit, ERIE, PA
PERMIT # 282
I/leav
Thursday, April 3, 1997
Love at first sight:
by Jennifer V. Colvin
Former Editor in Chief
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File Photo
What's up, Dan? My nipples, Danielle...it's freezing out here and I'm so happy to see you: Jack Frost will visit Erie this
weekend as temps dip below zero. Forecasters are calling for 25 to 37 inches of luscious white stuff with gusts up to 89
mph. And if you buy this, we have a 50 cent trick for you.
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ic**************ll
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Sone Guy
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DIMPLES TELLS HIS CANDID TALE - Collission undercover reporter I.P. Hourly was able to get Dimples the Duck to
confess his soul. Dimples said "Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack" and also commented that he was out of
chapstick.
Erie, PA 16563
A man and his duck
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ALMY
Callen Erwin holds Behrend at bay
By Carley Gwin
Incompetent Business Manager
Fear struck the hearts of the
Behrend community yesterday when
a disgruntled student scaled Almy
Hall and held the campus hostage
using a high powered sling-shot.
Callen Erwin, Computer Science
06, described by many as "a comp
sci major gone mad", climbed to
the top of the nearly-complete
Almy Hall at approximately 8:00
a.m. Wednesday morning, sling
shot in hand.
At precisely 8:45 am Erwin
opened fire on the few clueless
students who still attempt to use
the Million Dollar Staircase, and
succeeded in sending a few to
Erwin's not-so-serious demands:
Opening the pool - "I wanna swim when it's hot"
More parking
Operating the tow rope on the ski slope
Six chocolate milk shakes
More housing
An accessible fast food restaurant - I don't mean the
Gorge"
An underground tunnel system to avoid the horrible weather
conditions in blustery Erie
A drainage system - "I'm tired of canoeing to class!"
Coca-Cola Classic on campus
A student newspaper worth reading (we hope The Collision
Volume XLV, No. 20
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And that's all I have to say about
that.
SHOOTER
Health and Wellness where they
were in Patty's capable hands.
Two hours later, good ol' reliable
Behrend Vice finally arrived and
tried to coax the crazed Erwin down
from the roof of Almy Hall.
Erwin refused and threatened to
kidnap Dean Lilley unless his
demands were met.
At press-time no demands were
met and Callen Erwin was still atop
Almy Hall, pitching a tent.
Behrend Vice had left the scene to
patrol the parking lots for cars to
ticket.
Are Callen's demands so wrong?
Doesn't every Behrend student
deserve a place to sleep, a place to
park, and a chocolate milkshake???