Thursday, November 9, 1995
Terrori
Terrorism used to be
something that people in the
United States never thought
about. “It can’t affect me," they
thought. “It’s happening over
there, in some foreign country or
something.”
Indeed, what the American
people usually refer to as
“terrorism” has not exactly been
common here in the United
States. When the word terrorism
is mentioned, a person will
typically think of some Islamic
weirdo who wants to kill
everyone. Not only are these
thoughts racist in nature, they
also are far from the truth.
Terrorism refers to the killing
of innocent people for political
gain; generally, this definition
can apply to many organizations,
from the “Sons of Gestapo” to
the United States government.
What has happened in the past
five years that can qualify as
terrorism in the United States?
In Pensacola, Florida, a total of
two doctors and an elderly pro
choice escort have been shot to
death as part of a ploy to terrorize
the pro-choice movement into
submission. This is not often
considered “terrorism,” but what
else can you call it? The doctors
were doing their jobs, which are
perfectly legal. The escort was
Amy and Cathy
Dear Amy and Cathy,
Last week, we had a social
gathering at our apartment The
next day, we woke up to find our
cardboard cut-out of Mrs.
Doubtflre had been abducted.
Now, I am without my only role
model and mother-figure. What
should I do? I feel a crisis of
identity coming on, the results of
which could be catastrophic to
my stability. Please, please,
help!
Worried and unable to
afford psychoanalysis
Dear Worried and Broke,
The Serial Cardboard Cut-out
Kidnapper strikes again! I
believe there was a professor in
the Humanities Department who
had the same problem last
semester. Hmmm?
We do understand how horrible
this must be for you, you poor
dear. You are probably having
hot flashes and everything. So
let's take minute and plea for the
safe return of Mrs. Doubtflre...
If anyone out there knows
where Mrs. Doubtflre is, please
contact us at the Collegian office.
We'll arrange her safe return to
this poor young man.
We know it's traumatic to lose
a loved one. But, really, it will
-Adam Levenstein
there to escort women into the
abortion clinic; escorting is done,
on a volunteer basis, as a
political statement. I am an
escort in Pittsburgh myself.
The one event that has truly
awakened the phrase “domestic
terrorism” is the bombing of the
Oklahoma City Federal Building.
Timothy McVeigh, the alleged
bomber (a conviction has yet to
be established), is a far-right
wing activist with ties to the
militia movement and the Branch
Davidian cult in Waco, Texas.
Although the true reason has yet
to be given, it has been hinted
that the bombing was revenge for
the government massacre of the
Branch Davidians.
Another terrorist that has
received recent attention is the
anonymous letter-bomber known
as the Unabomber. The
Unabomber is alleged to be an
anarchist, and somehow is basing
his violent acts on the anarchist
movement. It is also quite
possible that the Unabomber is
more than one person, all of
which are “copycats.” Little
about the Unabomber is known.
Of course, the most recent act
of terrorism that has arisen
nationwide attention is the
hijacking of a school bus in
Miami, Florida. The hijacker,
all be okay. We promise. What
you should do in the meantime,
is look at this as a growing
oppurtunity. It is time to move
on. (There is no guarantee Mrs.
Doubtflre will come back to you
in one piece.) It is time to move
past corrugated cardboard. We
say, throw caution to the wind!
Go out and get yourself a stuffed
monkey! We guarantee in a
week, you'll forget all about tired
old Mrs. Doubtflre.
Amy and Cathy
P.S.: Rumor has it, Joe Patemo
has a thing for Mrs. Doubtflre.
Dear Amy and Cathy,
The food selection at the Gorge
is dwindling from semester to
semester. It's difficult for a
commuter student to get a good
meal these days. Is there a
conspiracy here? How do you
suggest I survive, nutritionally,
during the day?
Bland Palette
Dear Bland Palette,
What!?! Don't tell us you can't
survive every day for four months
on English muffins and watery
Opinion
unarmed but claiming to have a
gun, was a waiter and owner of
two Chinese restaurants who
“couldn’t take the pressure.”
Nick Sang owed approximately
$15,000 to the Internal Revenue
Service, and ordered the driver to
drive to the nearest office. Just
before, he had gone to the local
church service, where he ranted
and raved as the pastor tried to
calm him down.
“He was not rational,” said the
pastor. Afterwards, he stormed
out and took control of the bus
filled with young disabled
children. Thus began the 15-mile
trek, which ended with three
bullets being fired into the
hijacker from snipers. All of this
because of a “disgruntled”
taxpayer.
Incidents like this show that
alienation is on the rise. As
people begin to get more and
more frustrated with capitalism,
taxes, and the world in general,
we will see more and more
“terrorist” incidents in the United
States. Catalino “Nick” Sang
was not the true criminal in this
incident. The main criminal
involved was the capitalist
political and economic system
that creates the alienation
problem in this country.
hot chocolate! What do you
think they're running around here
-some kind of catering service?
Geeze!
Actually, if you think about it
for a minute, I guess they really
are running a catering service.
There is just one problem. They
are catering to a bunch of straved,
desperate college students (most
without cars) who cannot just run
down to the nearest fast food
cesspool and pick up a burger.
Unfortunately, we have a
classic case of supply and
demand. These students demand
food, and they supply flve-dollar
pools of grease they tag as pizza.
We say, don’t knock it 'til you
tired it sweetie. We eat this stuff
everyday and we're not growing
any extra appendages or anything
(at least not yet anyway). So,
just cross yourself, close your
eyes, and eat it! But if you still
want Betty Crocker—you're going
to have to pack a lunch.
Amy and Cathy
BACCHUS
buries
myth
C-r-a-c-k, ooph, thud.
Did you hear that noise out
of Washington, D.C., the first
weekend of this month?
It was the sound of a
stereotype crumbling. And
about time, I say.
You know this stereotype:
College students want to party.
Where is the keg? Who has a
fake ID? Can we sneak
alcohol past the RA in our
dorm? Or, should we go to a
park?
The goal, of course, is to
drink until you are smashed.
Getting wasted is perfect,
according to the stereotype.
The party I went to in
Washington the first weekend
of this month was a blast. It's
true that the 700 college
students attending were a bit
compulsive about drinking.
The difference is that smashed
is not cool with them. They
want students-and adults-to
practice responsible drinking
and healthy lifestyles.
The event was the General
Assembly of the BACCHUS
/GAMMA Peer Education
Networic-and the kick-off of
the celebration of the group's
20th anniversity. BACCHUS'
work is premised on the idea
;hat students can play a
uniquely effective role in
encouraging other students to
consider, talk honesty about,
ind develop responsible habits
md attitudes toward alcohol
ind other health-relatated
ssues.
At this point, a lot of
itudents and faculty on this
It’s that time again...
campus probably arc
scratching their heads, asking
themselves if a group like this
has been around for 20 years,
why haven't they heard of it?
Actually, you may have seen
BACCHUS at work but you
did not recognize it because
here at Behrend our peer
education oiganization was just
established in the Fall of 1994.
We are one of the more than
700 such groups in 49 states
(and counting) in the
BACCHUS/GAMMA Peer
Education Network.
You probably know at least
one of the big projects
BACCHUS chapters stage
each year-National Collegiate
Alcohol Awareness Week and
Safe Spring Break.
We simply believe that if
drinking is on the agenda, it
should be done responsibility.
Sometimes that means a
person will not drink at all.
Sometimes that means
making sure there is t
designated driver if your group
is going out to party.
Sometimes that means not
using drinking as an excuse for
behavior that you would not do
if you had not been drinking.
In short, it means being
responsible—just what we
supposedly are learning to be
now that we are on our own.
BACCHUS wants to see that
stereotype of college kids
binge drinking buried so deep
it will never raise its ugly head
again. Anyone want to sign
up? If interested, contact
Valerie Petro at Box #l5lB
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