Thursday, November 18, 1993
Exactly who is running the country?
by Alicia Hartman.ll,lshes Stairlothalatte mem
cowskr 4 '" '''';'ilowever a
stud Washing ton Post
that the test will
tun CI - when a First Lady
is
What ' •Alihta - with her =tett that Progress?tmeehotel her.linikunfs.
As a • 7 , This 'First Lady will tiny be the
women of *I '9o*, *Ai It *mew" political spouse. Hillary
respected thi r ilundottilliOnd Rodham Clinton is not this
character, and criticized for her "new" First Lady just because she
involvement in the political is nog involved in political life
meld. than her predecessors. Mrs.
What Hillary Rodham Clinton Clinton has not renuned her law
has become after the '92 election practice while her husband has
is not the linage that was been presidem
presented to us during the frontier First LOW have set
caniPidiP.
up the* 1U5160011401 the East
While clunpligning alongside Wing of the White House. Mrs
husband Bill Clinton for the Clinton. though, has her office in
greskkincy, Mrs, Clintmt was de the West Wing near senior staff
quiet, yet supportive wife members. Being close to "the
prepared so become the want and boss" emits a sense of power.
friendly "cookie baking" First Hillary Rodham Clinton is
Lady. qutdified to hold a high public
As the campaign progressed , office herself with her education
Hillary Rodham Clinton became and experience. She has the most
more outspoken and quite an power ever held by any First
Snflome a
Democratic women advo cate istory,t e ia alllyh as the
care
feared that the public might not reform program, . the issue that
approve of a First Lady who was could make or break President
more involved in political life Bill Clinton.
than herd had been. Because Mrs. Clinton
Traditionalists said that a possesses so much power, she
subtle influence from the First and President Clinton have been
Lady was pennittable if her labeled "Co-presidents," and the
intentions were to enhance her seam "Binary" has also evolved.
husband's interests. Conservatives call Hillary
After all, Marilyn Quayle,
Tipper Gore and Hillary Rodham
Clinton with careen and college
and graduate degrees, put their
professional lives on hold to
The gods must
by Dave Barry
Syndicated Calumnirt
What's wrong with this
country, aside from "light" beer,
is that Americans don't know
anything about foreign affairs.
Your average American can't
even answer basic questions
about geography, such as:
1. In which direction does the
Nile River flow?
2. What can the letters in
"Great Britain" be rearranged to
spell?
(Answers: 1. Downhill; 2.
"Big Than Rear.")
Tragically, we Americans are
too busy sitting around watching
worthless juvenile mind-rotting
TV situation comedies such as
"Dave's World" (Monday nights,
CBS, check your local listings)
to learn about foreign affairs.
This is bad, because what
happens abroad can greatly affect
our lives. For example, if
tensions were to mount again in
the Middle East, fighting could
break out, and it could escalate
to, God forbid, nuclear war, and
this would almost definitely
affect our TV reception.
This is why today I'm going
to present a Foreign News
Update, starting with an
important story from the Sept.
everything from a "faninazi" to a
"yuppie from hell."
Several experts say that this
"Hillary bashing" has resulted
because the role of American
2, 1993, Times of India, sent in
by alert reader Tapash
Chakraborty. This article,
which I am not making up,
states: "Villagers of Khajuria in
Ganjam district worshipped a
frog on Monday to please the
rain god Indra, as the dry spell
continued to delay cultivation."
The article further states that "a
big like frog tied with a bamboo
stick was carried by villagers
who roamed in and around the
village chanting couplets in
honor of the wife of Lad Indra."
The article does not give the
exact wording of the couplets.
Probably they went something
like:
We need rain; your wife is
peat
Here's a hug; let's cultivate!
The article also doesn't state
whether this effort resulted in
rain, but I'm sure it did. If
you're a rain god, and you have
people waving a frog around and
chanting about your wife, you're
definitely going to dump
something on them.
But whether or not it worked,
the point is that the villagers of
Khajuria DID something about
their problem. They did not just
sit back and wait for "the other
guy" to worship the frog. We
need more of that kind of
DYNIO I .3g
women is changing, especially
with First Lady Hillary Rodham
Clinton.
Clinton is a woman who
has power, yet is trying to
maintain a balance between her
career and family.
Many men at afraid of women
who have power and who hold a
"man's '
have a First Lady who isn't afraid
to speak and promote the issues
she strongly believes in.
What bothers me is that she
seems to have more power than
Vice President Al Gore and she
doesn't hold a public office.
She's even more publicly active
than Gore.
As a woman with such high
authority in America, she is the
gumption in this country. Take
the economy. People have been
whining about the economy for
years, but nobody does anything
about it. I'm not saying we
could get the economy going
again by worshiping a frog.
Please do not take me for a total
idiot. We have a huge, complex
economy, and we'd need a much
larger amphibian, such as a
manatee, or, if he is available,
Sen. Edward M. Kennedy.
Speaking of frogs, many alert
readers sent in an Associated
Press report concerning an
incident in Manchester, NH,
which is not technically a
foreign country, but you'll want
to know about this incident
stepping stone in leading other
women to high positions in the
United States.
She is the force promoting the
cause that women are just as
knowledgeable as men and can
hold the same jobs that men do.
During the campaign when
Americans heard Bill Clinton
proclaim, "Vote for one, get one
free," they responded negatively.
Mrs. Clinton's image was then
revolted to ate of the "traditional"
political wife.
Traditionally the First Lady's
duties have been to showcase the
President's character and run the
social side of the White House.
She was to stay behind the
scenes. The First Lady was
permitted to carve a small niche
in the political world, but she had
to remember that she held the
position she did because her
husband was elected.
Another of the First Lady's
jobs was to keep her husband
aware of what the public was
thinking; somewhat of a "reality '
_may `M
She was the model of beauty,
grace and friendliness of the
imtkimy.
First Ladies who have deviated
from the traditional role and
became publicly involved in their
husbands' careers were severely
Mn. Clinton has been accused
of "false feminism" because she
owes her position to her husband.
But President Clinton owes his
be crazy
anyway, because it involves a
woman who opened a bag a
pretzels and pulled out a pretzel
with a one-inch frog baked onto
it. The AP sent out a
photograph showing the actual
pretzel, and sure enough, there's
a frog son of welded onto it,
looking crouched and ready to
hop away, except of course that
frogs become very poor hoppers
after being subjected to the
pretzel-baking process, as has
been verified in countless
laboratcuy experiments.
My first thought, when I saw
this article, was that maybe the
frog had been put there on
purpose. We live in an era of
increasingly complex snack-food
variations, such as Jalapeno
Cheddar 'n' Onion Graham
Crackers ("Now With Frogs!').
But apparently that was not the
case with these pretzels, so the
woman took them back to the
food store, which gave her a
handsome baked prince.
No, seriously, the store gave
her a refund, so all's well that
ends well. But that does not
mean we should relax, not with
these alarming cheese-related
developments that are taking
place in England. I refer to a
May 26, 1993, UPI report, sent
in by alert reader Clyde E.
position to HRC.
Hillary Rodham Clinton was
the focal point that held the
election together. HRC rescues
President Clinton when he falls
in public, and relays what he is
thinking when he can't find the
words.
Mrs.' Clinton has engaged in
some "traditional" First Lady
activities. She has read
numerous White House
biographies and histories, hosted
several dinners, and has added her
own decor to the White House.
But the most important aspect
of Hillary Rodham Clinton is
that she has redefined the role of
First Lads in several ways. As
the first to have a career, she
represents a gasenukm of women
who are trying to find a balance
between a jot) and a family.
Hillary Rodham Clinton is a
prime candidate for the first
womart president not just because
she is a woman, but because she
has the education, experience and
ability to communicate with the
public.
Never has a First Lady received
so much attention nor criticism
as Hillary Rodham Clinton. But
perhaps instead of commenting
on First Lady Hillary Rodham
Clinton in the year 2000, we will
be addressing Madame President
Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Alicia Hamm is a third
semester communication major
Morgan, which begins:
"Fourteen people were injured
taking part in the annual Double
Gloucester cheese-rolling race."
I am still not making this up.
The article states that this race
takes place every year, and it
involves "rolling large round
slabs of cheese down a hill,"
with individual cheeses "reaching
speeds of up to 50 kilometers
per hour." Last year, 27 people
were injured.
The question is: What if this
kind of semideadly activity
catches on in this country? I,
personally, am not worried,
because I live in South Florida,
which is extremely flat; plus,
even if you could get a large
cheese rolling down here,
passing armed motorists would
blow it to smithereens. But
what if people start rolling
cheeses in, say, Colorado? What
if you get one of those big
babies hurtling down a Rocky
mountain, straight toward -- to
pick a worst-case scenario -- a
John Denver concert?
. . . friends around the
campfire,
And everybody's hiiiEEEE
(SPLAY)
Is that the kind of nation you
want your children to grow up
in? Me, too.
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