Page 2 Behrend Briefs CollegianlDelta Chi Photo Contest: Now through Friday, April 9, The Collegian will be accepting submissions for their first annual photo Contest. The only requirement is that a Delta Chi member must be included in the photo. Winning photo will be shown on the front page of the next iSsate of The Collegian. Campus Closed: The campus will be closed Monday, April 5 through Friday, April 9 for a private party for Dean Li'ley, Chris Reber, Dave Shields, and their "friend." The`party is in honor of Lilley's recent coming out of the closet. Attention People Who Live South of the Staircase and Use it On a Daily Basis, Except When They Close it' Due to Lack of Electricity (Which Is Truly Annoying): Don't use it. It's had. Provost Speaker Series Cantinaes: n 0 W Lec eci tu e r c e sdad ai ,April 0 7 1_ at 7:30 p.m. in7dte Rood, . S e y mour Butz win "Homosexual-Overweight-Skinite Wad-N Secretly Sodomize' Th e i r N . igh b ors #ak vgs a i This Affect s the Average College How indent." Refreshment s will be served in the Wintergreen Cafe , willbe sotto • :as: .to do Campus . . ' , Hanging Of the Hoe": °n T? April 6 0 Housingand Food Services will be.spswectring a II • col umn ist lviint Duddy. p u bli c lynching of Co le g Co st The IYeching is °pee to the Pi!hlie ar5 (1 ).„.,,,,ww isth booltstare A free stontng is MaRCPPiRCti; t° ~ ' ta and ire event .‘ t place prior . - - - vailable from sedend floor 'tea in honor b Attenti°4 25t h 13ehrel. F 1(1. IFriday,Friday,lle 11 it mastener at parasite Dr * Ivlnste a B *iding• —l* ttipeWOMlS' sponsoringbehind theßeed us "ng li ve th e celebratto wa . and leeches flukes, HEY Collegian Staff: Reminder... Just forget it! There is never going to be another staff meetina Turnbull 205 at 5:30 p.m. ever again/ No one eVer comes to tea >< anyway/ So just go on with your *tiful incubi lives! We don't .net4t c, I :14444114441111;j This is a joke. This is only a joke. If this had been an actual newspaper, the stories and photos you just saw would have been followed by important news, information or instructions. News from BURIAL on page 1 Uhgamokalahee will perform an ancient Navajo ceremony and take the remains of the four Native Americans to New Mexico where they will be returned to the ground. Penn State is charging the Institute of Native American History $l2OO per year for the housing of each of the bodies. Total cost will be calculated from the time that Behrend acquired the land. A spokesperson for the University said, "If we don't charge them, then everyone will want to stay here for free. After all, many students pay housing bills and never attend classes, so why should this be any different?" from DISH on page 1 wanting to know what the dish was for. He then screamed that he saw Satan and passed out." When asked whether he knew anything about why Binder would do something like that, Joe Mycka, SGA President, said, "I don't know why he did it, but if he hadn't done it, I would have." THE COLLISION The paper that is so shocking it is only allowed to be printed once a year. Police Report by Sal U. Tayshunz Homicide Police & Safety notified the Pennsylvania State Police of a possible homicide which took place in The Collegian office. Reporting of the incident really didn't matter since the victim wasn't really missed. The incident is not under investigation. Theft A box of donuts was reported stolen from the Police & Safety Explorer. The Pennsylvania State Police and F. 8.1. have been notified of the theft. An APB has been put out for the arrest and conviction of the thief. The National Guard have been instructed to "shoot-to-kill." The incident is under investigation. The Used Book Price Guide was reported missing from the bookstore. Police & Safety was called in, but was instructed to provide security for the student celebration which soon followed. The incident is not under investigation. Lost And Found A Nu-Hart Hair Clinic hair piece and pair of elevator shoes were reported missing from the Office of Student Activities. Dave Shields has asked for anonymity. The incident is under investigation. Finally Police & Safety were called to the scene of criminal behavior in the suites. The culprit was detained by the Police & Saftey officer at the scene. After a thorough investigation all the details concerning the crime were deduced. Police & Safety solved the crime. That incident is under investigation. Students honored by cliff claven Collision Staff trivia 'master supreme Three Penn State-Behrend students were arrested yesterday afternoon, after Pennsylvania State Police found three sawed off shot guns and five knifes in one of their dormitory rooms. Loretta Russ, Terri Swanson and Jennifer Watkins were arrested in connection to the death of Collegian Co-Editor Alicia Hartman. Hartman's body had been found last Friday by Collegian Office Manager Lori Dyer and Business Manager Darlene Stremic in The Collegian office. No clear motive has been Thursday, April 1, 1993 uncovered in why these three plotted Hartman's death, but State Trooper Ben Dover stated "we think it was in connection with the bossy attitude Hartman had toward these three or they were jealous of Hartman's relations with Cissne." Two of the three suspects have given statements to the press. Swanson said she only did it to watch Alicia die. "I was extremely jealous of her hairdo," Loretta Russ stated. In a statement to reporters, Co-Editor Matt Cissne stated, "I don't really believe that those three would do such a thing, but Alicia had it coming for some time."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers