Lane's Family .Tlecllcine.
Moves tho bowels eaoh day. In order to
t>e healthy this is necessary. Acts gently
sn the liver and kidneys. Cures sick haad
tohe. Price 25 and 50c.
Nearly 100 different machines have been
Invented for boring rook.
Catarrh
in the head, with its ringing noises In the
jars, buzzing, snapping sounds, severe
hendaches and disagreeable discharges, is
permanently cured by Hood's Sarsaparilla.
Do not dully with local applications. Tako
Hood's Sarsaparilla and make a thorough
ind complete cure »y eradicating from the
>lood the scofulous taints that cause
iatarrh. Remember
Hood's Sarsaparilla
is America's Greatest Medicine. $1; six for $5.
Hood's Pills cure all Liver Ills. 35cents.
His Novel Luck,
A boy about ten years old stood by
;he side of a penny-in-the-slot machine
in one of tho underground railway
itations the other morning weeping
bitterly.
"What's the matter, my boy?"
inked a man on his way to the stair
sase, stopping a moment at the door
way.
"I put a penny in the slot," blub
bered the boy, "and it was the wrong
>ne. I didn't g-get any butter
icotch."
"Is that all, my lad?" said the man.
'Show mo the right slot and I'll drop
juo in for you."
"I'd rather d-drop it in myself,"
lobbed the urchin.
The sympathizing citizen gave him
he coin and hurried up the stairs.
And when the sympathizing citizen
lame back from his office ten hours
ater that boy was still standing by
hat penny in-the-slot machine with
iis pocket full of pennies and still
jlubbering.—Pearson's Weekly.
STRONG STATEMENTS.
Three Women Relieved of Femala
Troubles by Mrs. Finkham.
From Mrs. A. W. SMITH, 59 Summer
<3t., Biddeford, Me.:
" For several years I suffered with
various diseases peculiar to my sex.
Was troubled with a burning sensation
icross the small of my back, that all
jjone feeling, was despondent, fretful
ind discouraged; the least exertion
tired me. I tried several doctors but
received little benefit. At last I de
sided to give your Lydia E. Pinkliam's
Vegetable Compound a trial. The ef
fect of the first bottle was magical.
Those symptoms of weakness that I
ivas afflicted with, vanished like vapor
before the sun. I cannot speak too
highly of your valuable remedy. It is
truly a boon to woman."
From Mrs. MELISSA PHILLIPS, Lex
( ngton, Ind., to Mrs. Pinkham:
"Before I began taking your medicine
t had suffered for two years with that
tired feeling 1 , headache, backache, noap
petite, and a run-down condition of the
system. I could not walk across the
room. I have taken four bottles of the
Vegetable Compound, one box of Liver
Pills and used one package of Sanative
Wash, and now feel like a new woman,
ind am able to do my work."
From Mrs. MOI.LIE E. HEEREI,, POW
;11 Station, Tenn.:
"For three years I suffered with such a
weakness of the back, I could not
perform ray household duties. I also
had falling of the womb, terrible bear
ing-down pains and headache. I have
taken two bottles of Lydia E. Pink
lam's Vegetable Compound and feel
like a new w<m»n. I recommend your
nedicineto every woman I know."
s. a ijMVfIM :IMI it-V
PatOfllff
Send Postal for Premium Li»t to th. Dr. Beth
Arnold Medical Corporation, Woonaockat, R. I.
* 0 ' L^ L^C^ ERE ;
\| best medicine aV ,|IM
jl mg an enervated
j these |)ills with ord- 3
g? inaTy purgative jjills.They do NOT act on the bowels.theTeby "v/
] further weakening the body.They build u|> the blood and p
ty strengthen the nervesi \C
t? Major A. C. Bishop, of 715 Third Ave., Detroit, Mich., is a well-known
w* civil engineer. He says : "When I had ray last spell of sickness and came
out of the hospital I was a sorry sight. I could not regain my strength, M
M and could not walk over a block fbr several weeks. I noticed some articles dtl
M in the newspapers regarding Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People, //
/ which convinced me that they were worth trying and I bought two boxes. [£>
10 I did not take them for my complexion but lor strength. After using them f7J
11 felt better, and know they did me worlds of good. I am pleased to
recommend them to invalids who need a tonic or to build up a shattered tf
% constitution."— Detroit Free Press, |
J r At All drujdiit* OT direct from the OT. Willi*™;, H«d»- v[
A. etne Comp&ny, Price fifty ctnt* per box. fu
Juat the Time.
This is just the time of the year we feel
the muscles all sore and stiff, and thon if
just the time to use St. Jacobs Oil to ra
lax them and to cure at once.
Many people are said to possess doublf
rows of natural teeth.
Doa't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Tour Life Air ay.
To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag
netic. full of life, nerve and vigor, take No-To-
Bao. the wonder-worker, that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, 60c or (1. Cure guaran
teed. Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co.. Chicago or New York
Steeplechasing is said to have originated
in Ireland.
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup lor children
teething, softens the gums, reduces Inflamma
tion, allays pain, cures wind colio. 25c.a bottle
In Birmingham, England, 37,000,000 pier
are produced daily.
To Core Constipation Forever*
Take Cascarets Candy Cathartic. 100 or 23a
II C. C. C. fall to cure, drue-glsts refund money.
Eight thousand enrrier plgeon3 are kept
for use in the German army.
fjw Goto your grocer to-day
lli and get a 15c. package of
I Grain-0
Irj* It takes the place of cof-
Vc*' fee at £ the cost.
**B? Made from pure grams it
is nourishing and health*
W ful.
Insist that your *roe«r gites you GRAIN O -
Accept no imitation. ~f
A New Us© For Postage Stamps.
One of New York's oldest collectors
has devised an entirely new use foi
stamps. Ingoing through ono of the
large bazars or department stores his
attention was attracted by an enor
mous display of easels, varying in
size from those intended to hold large
oil paintings to diminutive gilt easels
no larger than a lady's brooch. He
bought a few of the small ones at
twenty-five to seventy-five cents each,
and taking the smallest placed in it
the portrait of Queen out
of a one-penny envelope. The result
was charming, the effect being that of
a delicate cameo. Encouraged by
this he proceeded to fill out the
larger frames with similar portraits
from stamped envelopes and postage
stamps, containing from two to tei
portraits.—Harpe's Round Table.
Have used I)r.Seth Arnold's Cough Killer for
Whooping Coughwithgood result s.-D.C.K KM r.
ISTS No. Carey St.. Baltimore.Md.. July 14. lSltt.
A gun which can fire 30,000 bullets a min
ute has been inventod in England.
l'iso's Cure for Consumption relieves th»
most obstinate coughs.—Rev. 1). BCOHMUKI,
LEU, Lexington.Mo.. February 24, 1894.
Plate glass was first made in IG3B, nl
ricardy, France.
Pimples are inexpressibly mortifying. Rem
edy—Ulenu's Sulphur Soap. Of druggists.
Hill's Hair A- Whisker Dye, black or brown, 50c.
The gun of largest calibre in tho world if
tho British 17.72-inch 100-ton guu.
To Cure a Cold ill One Dny.
Take Laxative Bromo (Quinine Taoleis. A,
Druggists refund money it it fails 10 cure.
Australia possesses one-fifth of the
world's stock of sheep.
The Boy's Compliment.
One of our good mothers makes it
a particular point to impress upon her
children the necessity of always be
ing polite and courteous, particularly
to strangers, says the Adrian Times.
There called at the house the other
day a lady who invariably dresses in
perfect style and taste. This day she
looked more than usually attractive,
and when the little sou and daughter
of the household came into the room
the boy, desirous of paying the guest a
compliment, exclaimed to his sister,
"My! Isn't she a corker?"
SIX BY SEW"I,
They bad thought love lu a cottage
Would be line;
"I will help you wash the dishes,
My divine,
And we two will just be happy,
llaia or shine.
tibe, entranced, enraptured, heard him,
And was g'ad.
Bhe had read a lot of novels,
So she had,
And she knew love in a cottage
Wasn't bad.
So they stood before the preacher,
He and she;
Then they hunted for a cotu
But, ah me!
There was none they'd live
Though 'twere free!
She has given up her novels
And all that.
She has farmed out both her parrot
And her cat—
They aro living in a six by
Seven flat.
—Cleveland Leader.
jTiiiriij
"Yes, professor, I am afraid I shall
have to rent or sell the farm; my wife
is so miserable. I cannot carry it on
without hiring, aud hiring eats up all
the profits."
I looked at the speaker admiringly.
He was about fifty years old, and as
robust as n man of thirty. His whiskers
were neatly trimmed, showing a full
red cheek. He wore a jaunty hat, aud
natty cutaway coat, aud below his
vest hung a single fob and heavy gold
seal. I was proud of him. He was
such a perfect specimen of a New
York country gentleman that I wanted
to imprint his picture on my memory.
"So your wife is miserable?"
"Yes. Kinder diooping with a dry
cough and no ambition. She just
kinder drags around the house aud
looks so peaked and scrawny it gives
me the blues. It does, I swan."
"Naturally weakly, wasn't she?"
"She! Oil, 110. When I married
her, she was the smartest girl on the
creek. She used to work for my
father,and the way she made the work
stand around took my eye. She wasa
poor girl, and her industry got her a
rich husband."
Here he took out a gold watch,
looked At the time, put it back, and
adjusted the silk fob on the front of
his nicely fitting trousers.
"So she did well, getting married
on account of her industry?"
"Why, of course. She was getting
only two dollars and fifty ceuts a week,
and she became mistress of a farm."
"Excuse me, how much are you
worth now—confidentially, you know?
I am a scientific man, and will never
use such facts to your injury with the
assessor."
"Well, professor, I could crowd
fifty thousand petty hard.
"That is g< od. How long have you
been married?"
"Thirty yearn next Fourth of July.
We went down to Albany oil a little
teeter, aud I proposed the match and
Jane was willing."
"How much do you suppose you
have mado in these thirty years?"
"Hum—um—lemme see. I got tho
Davis farm the first ten years, then I
run in debt for the Simmons place, got
war prices for my cheese aud squared
up both places. Well, I think I have
cleared up thirtyt housand dollars
siuce we spliced."
"Very good, indeed. Aud your
wife has been a great help all this
time?" .
Oh, you bet! She was a rattler!
She took care of her baby,aud the milk
from twenty cows. I tell you she
made the tin-ware flop! Why, we
have had four children, and she never
had a hired girl over six months in
that time."
"Splendid, and you have cleared
thirty thousand in that time?"
"i'es, easy."
"Now, how much has your wife
made?"
"She? Why, blame it, professor,
she is my wife."
"I kuow it. But what lias she
made? You say she was poor when
you married her. Now, what has she
made?"
"Why, you beat all! Why, she is
my wife, aud we own it all together."
"Do you? Then she can draw on
your bank account? Then she has a
horse aud carriage when she wants
them? Then she has a servant girl
when she wants one? Then she ride*
out for her health, and she has a
watch and gold chain as you do? Is
that so?"
"Professor, you must be crazy. No
body's wife is boss in that shape. Who
ever heard of such a thing?"
"Now, look here. You say she did
well iu marrying rich, and I cannot
see it. If she was getting two dollars
and fifty cents per week when you
married her,and had saved her wages,
she would have bad now three thou
sand six hundred dollars. If she liail
invested it, she would have had five
thousand dollars. Now you tell lue
she is broken down, used up and
miserable, and looks so badly, she
makes you sick,and she has 110 money,
no help,and will probably get nothing
but a Scotch grauite tombstone when
she dies."
"Professor, if you was a youuger
man, I would lick you quicker'u a
spring lamb can jump a thistle."
"What for? lam statiug this case
fairly, am I not? Your wife is no
longer young. She is no longer hand
some. Her hands are as hard as a
bookagent's cheek and she has stooped
over a milk can until she has a hump
ou her back like a pedler."
"Shut up, will you?"
"She has raised four children. One
of them is at college. One is taking
music lessons iu Boston. The other
two are teaching school. She is at
home alone, going around in a tread
mill Ufa which will and in * rosewood
coffin and a first clam country
funeral "
"Stop that, professor, will yon?"
"And your wife does not look well
in that new wagon, so you take your
hired man and neighbor's girls to
meeting. Your wife never goes any
where, so you do uot get her a watch
like your own, nor a new silk dress,
nor a pony that she can drive, nor a
basket phaeton that she could climb
into without a ladder. She never goes
out. She has to work iu the kitchen,
so she gets no nice shoes like yours."
"Coufound my skin if I don't "
"When you know, and I know, that
if your wife had a chance to lest, and
had nice clothes like other women,
she would be one of the best looking
women of her age iu town."
"I swan I believe it."
"And, as old as she is, if you were
to get out the carriage next Sunday
aud drive around with the colts and
tell her you wanted her togo to meet
ing with you,she would actually blush
with pleasure."
"Blamed if I don't do it."
"Then, Monday, if you were to tell
her you were going to hire a girl, and
that she must sit in the sittiug-room
by the new nickle plated coal stove
aud work on that new silk dress you
are going to buy her "
"Professor, that's me."
"Aijd hand her a nice wallet,
with steel clasps and with five uice
new twenty dollar notes iu it, and tell
her to do her own trading after this,
because you have got tired looking
after so much money."
"I will, as sure as you live."
"And then, when the tear starts in
her eye, and the same old blush
comes out that you thought so nice
when you went 011 that teeter to
Albany, if you would kiss her "
"It's all right, professor."
"Then, my friend, I should begin
to think she had made something by
marrying a rich man."
"You're right, old man."
"Then I think you wouldn't have
a miserable wife any longer. Then
yon would 110 louger want to sell or
rent the farm, but would be showing
the mother of your children how much
you respected her for her life of devo
tion. Then she would know she was
a partner in that thirty thousand.
Then if you made your will all right,
aud she had a good rest, I think she
would some time be an eligible
widow."
"Think so, professor?"
"i'es, I know. W r ouien pity you
because you are tied to such a sorry
looking wife. Foolish old maids and
silly girls whisper behind your back
what a nice looking man you are, and
what a stick of a wife you have, and
you are just soft enough to wear tight
boots and oil what little hair you have
left on top of your head, aud go
around figuring up how long before
your wife will die."
"Say, now, professor, there is a
limit to endurance. lain going."
"I am coming down to see you next
week. Will it be all right?"
"Yes, if yon drop this kind of talk,
aud won't tell of my complaints about
my wife. I'll try your medicine,
W r ould you stick for that prescription
about the pocketbook and twenty
dollar notes?"
"How much did you say you have
made together?"
"I cave. The dress will be all right,
and the pony aud phaetou will bo
haudy for the gals. Come down and
see us, old man, but not a word about
this talk. If vou wasn't nu old man,
I'd "
Tipping the derby back ou his head
aud shaking the wrinkles ont of hia
tight trousers, he puts his hands into
his pockets aud sauntered away.
"There," said I, "is one man who
has taken the only legal aud God
given way of getting rid of a miser
able wife."
"CHAIR WARMERS."
The Maidens <>f llridgcport Iluve Dis
covered a New Grievance.
Why don't tho men propose, mamma?
Why don't the men propose'.'
One uoenis just coming to the point,
And then nway he goes.
The young ladies of Bridgeport,
Conu., believe that they have dis
covered a uew grievance. They say
that as soon as the weather turns cold
the young men of their town become
devotion itself—that is to say, they
sing, they play 011 the piano, they
give every evidence of being amused
and eutertaiued—but they go no fur
ther !
Hentiment and love to theso callow
Rwains is a closed book. They toast
themselves by the lire, but it does not
warm their hearts. They strum "All
Coons Look Alike to Me," but never
touch the tender chords of "Oh,
Promise Me!" When the snow melts
and the frost is gone they go with it.
They discontinue their visits and bask
now on street corners. Tho winter is
gone an«l nothing's done.
The Bridgeport girls have dubbed
this type of young men "Chair
Warmers."
But tho chair warmer is only n rural
term for our old friend the "Detri
mental, "so well known in the fashiou
able society of New York. He is the
bane of his mother of marriageable
daughters. He is aggravating in the
extreme to the daughters themselves.
He is always in evidence, polite,
gentlemanly, conversational, but he is
always jnst coming to the point. He
never comes.
The Detrimental or Chair Warmer
never stops to think that in the pur
suit of his own pleasure he is working
n serious iiijury to the girls he affects
by keepiug off other men who might
come to the point—that extremely
line point which it is every woman's
ambition to reach.
If those Bridgeport girls discover a
method of getting rid of their Chair
Warmers they might send the recipe
down here. Sometimes. they manage
those things better iu the country
than in larcre cities.
FASHODA.
Hv# Koiio of Content ion Hot ween the Kng«
Hsh Mii'l the Freneli.
Fashoda, formerly called Deuab,
was passed by Sir Samuel Baker in
the course of his first expeditiou up
the White Nile in 18fil, but he does
not mention it by name iu "The Albert
Nyauza." The country of the Sbil
looks was then, and indeed for some
time afterwards, a hotbed of slavery,
and Baker made strong
tions on the state of this re,""— u in his
general report on slave dealing iu the
Soudan. On his return, in 1865, he
found that the Khedive Ismail had
taken action in the matter and that a
government station had now been es
tablished at Fashoda, the town being
fortified by a wall with flanking tow
ers completely dominating the river
and garrisoned by an Egyptian regi
ment.
In January, 1809, Fashoda was vis
ited by Dr. Schweinfurth, who speaks
of it in"The Heart of Africa" as the
limit in those days of the "Egyptian
Empire." The town was the seat of 0
luiulir, and the subjugation of the
Shillooks was then in active progress.
All passiugboats were at the time com
pelled to stop for several days at
Fashoda,partly to complete their corn
stores and partly on accouut of the
poll tax, which necessitated examina
tion of the lists carried by boats ol
their crews aud passengers.
In 1870 Baker subdued the Dinka
tribes inhabiting the villages beyond
the eastorn bank of the Nile at this
point, and a little later the country
of the Shillooks was regarded as finullj
incorporated in the Egyptian domin
ions.
In 1873 Yussef Effendi, afterwards
pasha, was made governor of Fashoda
and in October of the following yeat
distinguished himself by intercepting
a convoy of 1000 slaves from the Bahi
Zeruf. In 1870 the Shiliook tribes
revolted, but the disturbauee was
quelled by Gessi, who happened to be
making a tour of inspection of the
Bahr-el-Ghazel, of which he subse
quently became governor.
Iu January, 1880, Fashoda was vis
ited by Dr. Wilhelm Junker in com
pany with Gessi Pasha. At that time
the place was maintained chiefly as a
penal settlement. Dr. Junker makes
special allusion to the subjection of
the Shiliook country to Egyptian au
thority aud mentious that long jour
neys into the interior could be under
taken with an escort of a few Egyptian
soldiers only.
In May, 1882, the Malidist rising
having gained ground, Yussuf Pasha,
governor of Fashoda, was ordered to
advance against the Malidi. This 110
did, but on June 7 he was suddenly
attacked by the rebels and utterly de
feated uear Sebel Gadir. An indica
tion of the importance attached by the
Egyptian government to Fashoda is
afforded by the fact that within a few
days very considerable reinforcements
were hurried up from Khartoum and
placed under the command of Rashid
Pasha, afterwards governor of the Red
■ea provinces.
On the 23rd of November, 1883, Sir
Evelyn Baring telegraphed to Lord
Granville that certain measures of
withdrawal were suggested. "Boats
will also be sent to Fashoda on the
White Nile to bring down the garrison
to Khartoum." But mouths elapsed
before the final evacuation of Fashoda
took place,and by that time Khartoum
itself was seriously menaced.—Lou
don Times.
Mistake of a Mud Wasp.
It is generally supposed that iu
stiuct unerringly teaches birds and in
sects the best way in which to build
their homes or nests, and also to pro
vide for their offspring. The following
incident, recently under personal ob
servation, will show that iustinct is
not always infallible.
A friend placed three small empty
vials iu an open box, ou a shelf, in an
upright position in close contact, and
they w ere uncorked. A short time af
terward it was a matter of surprise to
find that these had been appropriated
by a female mud wasp. She had placed
a goodly number of spiders iu the
centre vial, doubtless intended to
serve as food for her future brood;
then proceeded to deposit her eggs in
those on either side. She next closed
tightly the mouths of all three recep
tacles with a hard lime cement. Hav
ing finished her work, she then doubt
less veut on her way, satisfied all had
been done for her offspring that a
thoughtful mother could do.
But just think of the sensation of
those little wasps when they come into
existence, for, while starving in their
sealed cages, they can plainly see,
through the impenetrable walls, the
bountiful supply of food which was
provided for their use.—Scientific
American.
Kducalii'i; Denf Mute* l>y Telephone.
The medical officer of one of the
leading deaf and dumb institutions
of England states that he has obtained
material aid from the seemingly im
probable source of a loud-speaking
telepoue in the treatment of his pa
tients, in the education of such deaf
mutes as possess a fragment of hear
ing power, the telepone being found
to possess many important advantages
over the speaking tube ustially em
ployed. In the first place, iu arrang
ing for this purpose, the wires from
several receivers can be coupled up tc
one transmitter, aud thus a teaeliei
can instruct a group of children at the
same time; then again, it is uot uec
essary for a teacher to ajiply his mouth
closo to the transmitter, so that pupilt
have a full view of the facial expres
sions and lip movement, which is not
possible when having to direct his
voice iuto the mouthpiece of a speak
ing tube or trumpet. While seeing
the movement of the lips, the patient
has the sound conveyed close to his
ear drum—a most advantageous com
bination,—Scientific American.
THE BULL-RING AT HAVANA.
No more shall reek in Cuba's (.tie
The bull-ring's barbarous court,
For we shall smash the hideous pile
t And crush the hideous sport;
And there shall we a diamond lay
And bleachers build withal,
And Cuba's nimble nine will play
The noble game 3? I^all.
The dying bull shall bleed uo more
To slake their odious thirst,
But death their bosoms will deplore
When Dully dies at first;
And grief funereal will incline
And bow their doleful heads
When old Havana's Baseball Nine
Are buried by the Beds.
No more shall slaughter's gory hand
Unsluice the crimson flood,
Save when the righteous cranks demand
A treacherous umpire's blood:
Nor shall their wild resentment cry,
Their fierce displeasure howl,
Save when Molony muffs a fly,
Or Mullins muffs a foul.
The sanguinary mob no more
The plaudit's din shall raise,
But Coogan's run that ties the score,
The terraced cranks will praise;
And Murphy's throw, and Beilly's bunt,
And Dooley's triple whack,
And McN'auiara's sliding stunt
Will rnako tho welkin crack !
No more shall carnage rupturo yield,
Nor butchery enthrall.
When on the reconstructed field
The umpire cries. "Play ball!"
But hearts .ill thrill, and radiant eyva
Will glow like festal lamps,
When o'er the hills the pennant flies,
And Cubu's nine are champs !
—John Ludlow, '.n Puck.
HUMOROUS.
She—Are you food of cauoeiug.
lie—lmmeuse. You don't have to
take oft' your clothes when you bathe.
"Georgie, don't you see that Jane
is taking your candy?" "I don't cnre.
It's the kind that always make 3 her
sick."
The Maid—What makes you think
she hasn't any children? The Matron
—She was telling me how to raise
mine.
Why is a horse tho most curious
feeder in the world? Because he eats
best when he has not a bit in his
mouth.
"I can't understand Claudia?"
"Why not?" ".She always is so much
more intimate with desirable people
than they are with her."
Karnes Tormer—The true art of
acting is to make an audience forget
you are an actor. Watts—You seem
to do that easily enough.
"The doctor," said the young moth
er, "says baby ought to have one cow's
milk for his daily drink. Now,really,
isn't that entirely too much?"
"But how can you have the heart
to deprive the poor heathen of their
land?" "They would never learn the
dignity of labor if we didn't."
Madame Theosophia—Toll me, have
you never seen a \ ision? Never wel
comed some strange Spirit from the
Unseen World. Mrs. Sinclair —Never.
But then I entertain so little.
Back Seat—Where did you get your
earrings, and when did you have your
ears pierced? Front Seat (scornfully)
—Talk tandem, please. They were
punctured about a month ago.
First Criminal—So Bill, the cracks
man, is in the toils at last. Second
Criminal—Yes, he escaped arrest so
many times that lie tiually got fool
hardy aud rode his bicycle without a
bell.
"Now thf.'. you have lost your job
as surgeon in the regiment, what do
you expect to do?" "Oh, I'm all
right. I've opened up a little oflice
just around the corner from afootball
playiug college."
Once upon a time a man rose polite
ly and oti'ered his scat in a street car
to a woman. "Oh, thank you," cried
the woman at once. This fable teaches
among other things that uncoil ventiou
ality is infectious, so to speak.
"I guess," said Rubberneck Bill, in
his most rasping tones, when tho
waiter handed him a napkin, "I guess
I got maimers enough not to wipe my
hands on your durn tablecloth, with
out you haudin' me that thing."
"J am astonished," said the scofl'er,
"to hear you compare our glorioua
country to a small boy getting his face
washed." "Me?" said the oratorical!
patriot. "How? When?" "When
you said it was impossible for the na
tion to stand still."
He—There is something I have
wanted to say to you for a long, long
time. She (demurely) Well—don't
—don't you think this is as good a
time as • is any to say it? He—That
mole on tue left side of your nose —I
know a uurgeon who can remove such
tilings without a bit of danger. They
adjourned sine die that evening.
Complexion of Spanish Women.
You find in many parts of Spain
blue-eyed and fair-haired women, and
we have in Mexico specimens of these
hereditary daughters of the invading
Goths, who have brought down to our
times, in their eyes, the memory of
blue summer seas beneath shorelanda
icebouud in the long winters. And
the fair hair is common, too, and
somehow one never gets over the feel
ing, iu listening to the soft Spauish
coming from the lips of a bine-eyed
and light-haired woman, that she has,
perhaps, learned it as a foreigner in
her early youth. But no; she is as
much a Spaniard as the women whose
eyes reveal the descent from the Moor
or the Carthaginian, or as she who
has the strong profile of the Romau
conquerer.
A fair woman is called in Spanish
"una guera," pronounced "oonah
gwajrah," or else "una rubia." Both
terms are common. Among a race
where the dark skin prevails, to be
fair is a mark of beauty,and one often
hears people speaking of some lady
iu terms of praise a." "la guera." To
call a baby "fair" is to capture the
heart of the mother. A fair complex
ioned man is "ru guero," "oon gway
roh."—Correspondence in New York
Sun.