VOLUME LXXII
THE 'CARLISLE HERALD.
Published ovary Thursday morning by •
WENKLEY SCIV'AL.LICE,
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DON'T Q UARREL 'BOUT" THE
LITTLE„FAR3f.
=II
hrodienn, don't VI out 'boot It, or quarrel
' here to-day,
--
It: civil toward cook other, and lioten wit I Foy:
You know 00 will it I do—that it's wrong lII+ woY
to speak,
And If you have dinvitee to make—why intake 11. on
=IE3
malt, nt lenct, 1111 Pither'n roltl;Pst put it
off—pray 110
And ulmt k yonr', doubt you'll got but wall n
Jay or two
ea inure respect for mother, for Mien old and
eal: and' I,
A ad s ail take foul ad viinlui,e, just because there is
=
eixamplo shom
For what's the good cif qunnelmg, I'd really ltke to
You alllutre lull an I 'plenty. so lh•n what need
complain
Or the paltry share that's in Ihe bolos, tr io inother
try to pip
pnerer than the pletrattt tate, )et dhe mall
hare niy i part;
Pit nark nod toil 'nioug .trangi•rn, with n merry
'clitierfol heart ;
If I only llve I,non tYnl she von cnII pliw,
her own,
gladly Flys her )11 my share, that she may haYs
111 , 111 e:
•
1 don't know nitwit ithmt the leer, fur I tutor
Is eta to :nitro!,
And know more about the way that's fellowe
as a role.
I Ililot, Na II tho plan• right out •nd share
it, so I'm tld,
And that would throw out mother, boy., and lenvr
hr, hi the roll:
Nuw I can't .1 . 0 how thisis right ; i.htt °timed AM
She 1;LItl, rju attire, theme !net three note., endoreell
'Zquire
And lath, often ;old un so; heelleti. he elwe)
maul,
Ile hoped that she would eufTer nenght, when lin
wtoi With the dead.
And that's of .. reason why, I think, he left no
„ will !behind ;
Bevan... 11311 lho)11Or 0 rich 0.011, - 01; MA therefore
WOUIII he hind.
Ilq did olTatotes,hy,AriAlngnll.to
her,
❑at thought. w.• lwre, w ith out, accord, w. tdd glt
=MI
Now I kung I'm not a isc War, lop; .'en thing.
I ;unto - eland ;
=t=lll
of inswing land
thin I know, tin ocros with a how, nu~l Lain
MEI=
{Vitt not bring much to onto ortlB, not connting
roth-_ ,
' :Ike nt3 Ilttlo port of It—a groat duel with it,
rot I, no•ver had the chance to earth that father
gay° to )n1; ;
' 1 ale, sys }lad to teap at home, mud ii ork Ilu
llno long toy.
And for if got but board and till\ 01 no
hau you Can my
Inl If I am dm youngext onv, WW iLb nut n ee• t
CM
gird my Old, to mther, uox ' and gar and od;
btedd;
Awl you needn't think L•rnnne I plead, tlett I Ju.t
mint it bore,
N No! heaTe—though hard 'twill ho, fur her
This 'round wilh rusrritid s nn, itin't xlmr
th ,, n1111. ,
And nadlo.r's near +lxty .3 . ..dra, and aid as
=3EI
.lin ought 1.. Ln u . st I,tue—her own—to
MI=MIIIIIII=IIIIIII
=MEI
Then I.•t iVO mete to ho, —rm., tt ho
will f.• 11.. me'
I giry my 'lila, 10 ! My I,nuJ is tu
ISOM
I'an•ra Itattag hot 11 paltry snot—a mite or
Whoever's I ain, can raise his owe
And hut it hand rt.lll+llllol Iu plitr‘h but up tlu•~
And bowhern lo,ked uud ontrrylod, and wondered
=9
All q.t..l xeased, tho broth.. knelt, and (1.1. d
thexroo:lei hepra)or
Per %Ith. netther, .itel the both,: and pence
lII=EIRO
,-- I N THIC WRONG HOUSE.
I=l
Major —John Parkinson was a good
looking bachelor, and had lived forty
live years, but on, who had taken such
good care of himself that he , 'was really
quite a young.man.
nle hail gone out to, India when only
dwell .years old, and was now returning
attirir a thirty years' alicuce, the posses
sor of an ample fortime, most of which
ha had already sent to America for in
vestment.
The Major did . not like hoarding
houses, and had, therefore, written to
his agent in New York to purchase and
have fitted up for him a comfortable re
sidence in some gooeneighborhood, .
On a cold, rattly November evening the
Ghundaree entered the harbor, bringing
the Major once more to his native land.
He eagerly hastened to the office of his
agent for information regarding the loca
tion of his new home, determined to pass
the first night Of his arrival under his
own roof.
-On reaching the office ot Mr Smith,
his agent, be learned that ho was ahsent,,
- but.tho-key - had been left for him,accom
panied by
. a note, regretting that business
:,. in the country compelled the writer tb re
linquish the pleasure of 'personally greet.:
ing the Major on his arrival. but•assur
leg him that he would find his house in
complete or( or, with servants to admin
. later to his vents.
pl
'ena orry the agent bad not
. been
able to
I
t him personally, the Major
made •
41
• thili:hest of it, and turned to the
car d . at*od to the key for instructions
its ~o ' 4 . 6 location of his residence, and
,w *kitten thereon : " No—Wakely
sr ..i i . ~ .•
•
street ~_„ but tout number, unOrtunately,
the' catd did not say I "However,"
''',' muttered the Major, "I can't go vary pir
wrong,. as:H. says between lludpon and
VaUdam streets. At the worth it is only
trying the doors along with my key un
•••• till come to the right one." •
And the Major strolled 'briskly off
. tlgongh the rain, humming to himself,
"Muir, awed Mime." ,
, ',.., •. '
•
IMO
T~l
(------
After much inquiry of policemen and
consulting of directories at corner drug
stores, and studying of cabalistic char
acters on the street lamps, our Major
succeeded iii discovering. Wakely street
broad, lutudsoine street, lined on
each side witli Zbstantial looking- brow u
stone houses.
" A very good neighborhood," thought
the Major, approvingly ; " very good,
indeed. I don't . object to this sort of
thing at all. Smith is cfrllliily - a eripi
tal judge of real estate. -Now I wonder
which of these houses belong to me ?"
They were all painfully alike—,all with
andsonie bay windows on the first liner;
inposing (lights of stone steps, and ves-
tibules of blue and white checked mar
ble. The Major crept softly up the steps
of onp and applied his key under the sil
verplatod
knob.
It wouldn't lit. This certainly could
not be the houim ; moreover ho felt un
pleasantly like a burglar as he !sneaked
down the steps.
lleltried the second door, and then the
third. Both obstinately declined to yield
to the gentle persuasion of - the key.
'''This is-beginning to get awkward,"
tholigh the perturbed Major, , wiping the
beady drops from his brow. "Suppose I
Should be obliged to sliced the night out
-here,-tr-y ing _to_getin ' m_
not careful, I shall
e lm arrested, and
spend my first night for thirty years in
my'liative land in the station house. I'll
try one moi-e, dobi and if Unit doesn't
prove to be the right one, I'll go to the
Ile slipped We key into the keyhole ;
it revolved noislessly, and the door swung
softly open upon its polished hinges,
" The right Imp , at last, as I live !"
chuckled the MalOi. "Furnished like
the Governor Gaeral - s, and nit lighted
up, by Jove. That good-hearted rascal,
Suaitk, means to give me a surprise. I
see through it all nos; hut I don•t in
tend to he surprised at anything after
Ile looked mound. The sasliglds
were burning brightly in hall, reception
room and parlors ; the soft summer-like
attno-phere of e furnace dispelled any'
lingering , idea of cold or wet ; and there
were grodns or merry-erg gists moving to
and fi m to the inspiring notes of a grand
"Siilith never fold me a ,word of the
ace,""thoug,ht 31.kjor Parkihsod ; "but
S a gorid idea—a capital idea. Called
unexpectedly into the coontry k eh' Alt
Ml's a sly dog, is Smith 1"
Ile placed his dripping umbrella in the
stand, and deliberately hung up his hat
mid overcoat on the elegant black walnut
hall rack, and tlien he came and stood in
the doorway, both hands serenely joined
under his coat tails,:and a beaming smile
upon his countenance, which showed all
the White - feellitifi Velygend
" Goodness gracious 1 - exclaimed a
portly lady, in' black velvet—" Who is
tliat in the doorway ?"
" laughed Major Parkinson,
complacently rubbing his hands; "you
intended to surprise me, but you didn't
after all. My dear madam, how do you
do?" sir ,. l don't know who you are,"
said the lady of black velvet, rather
grimly, failing to recognize the Major's
proffered hand.
• Dear me, A ullt Rosa," chirped a
youvzer lady— she certainly could not
have Wen more than eighteen, and was
as fiesh and blooming as a rosebud—
tripping forward, "Don't you see it's
cousin Jnll9?''
•
The '3lajor looked puzzled ; but it
would have been rude for him to back
churlishly out, when such a ripe pair of
cherry lips were put up for 111111 to kiss,
and such a dimpled pair of :mils were
around his capacious waist.
"I 110VOF k new that I had such a
wetly cousin," was the Major's ititci nal
; " but I, dare say it's all right,
Smith k nowt;
And here's cousin George awl Ste-
phen, and Margaret, and her girls?" cried
the cherry. lipped damsel, eagerly putl
.ing him forward. .
>• Major Pal kinson Shook hands with
them all around, feeliug that he had just
come into a large and unexpected in
heritance of relations..
"I knew the Ghundaree would lie in
o-night," cried one of the girls, clapping
aliands. " Nre have been counting
lie days, cousin John."
"The Glitimlareo! Then I'm all right,
after all," thought the perplexed Major.
" I was beginning to think that there
might be sonic awkward mistake here,
but the Ghuudaree.setotles matters."
"Oh I 'Rile's mamma !" exclaimed Die
irresistible cherry lips, dancing back.
ward and forward like m 'protty„ littlo
Dervish: " Gran ma, he's come. I knew
he would be here to night. Come and
speak to grandma, quick, John."
And the Major was pulled along by
the sleeve of his coat toward a silver
haired old lady, with- a white lace cap,
and a string of enormous gold beads
around her shrivelekkhroat.
" WI, John, I do declare I" - Cried
grandma. " Whig would have thought
the climate Or India would have changed
yllu so ? Why, you used ; to be so tall
and slim like iv'bean pole ; but I sup
pose it's hurricanes autd earthquakes,
and all tliat sort of th'ings.that. has net
tled you down so short and stout.
Major Parkinson did, not know exactly
what to say to this, so ho shook the old
lady's hind, saying
- "How do you (Ind yourself this even
ing,lna'am ?"
"And- you haven't even aslced - after
Clara, poor Clara?" chimed , in the
eighteen year old girl,
"Oh, ah, pardon me ?" stammered
our hero." "I was just going to inquire
after Clam." ,
The lass with:tho cherry lips beckoned
to a tall, find gratthful girl in the bay
window, not exactly young but still.pass
ing pleasaq, to look upon, with large
gray eyes, 'and soft drooping curls of
glossy brown.
" Clara l" lam "come, havn' t
-. you a word of welcome formousin John?"
But the graceful girl- shrank' back,
blushing and confused.
‘' Don't mind her !" said the other ono
in an Undertone. ^ • :
No, I won't," said thi3lifajor.
"She'll . bo nll right presently." ,"
"I dare say she will," answered of
hero.'
"'Put it's such nonsense I'.'--wont on
tho elf, whom the mations, addressed as
• •
"Now,:elara, you Inow it is, velum
. .
,- - ,t
, .
... . • 4 i
' , ,' , ..J ~.;: :,;. g` . ';''' I , ‘• t . '-g ,
1 4
5.
4., . ,
1 - A
. .. , ~; x 0... • t,. ky. ,
_,.. .•., ~
you are to ho' married to him in less
than a week 1"
Oho? This was beginning is grow a
little serious.
Married ! In loss than a week HO,
Major John Parkinson, who had lived a
life of contented celibacy for five and
forty years
In spite of his resolution not to_ allow
himself to ho surprised, the Major felt
the sensation rapidly creeping over him,
not only of •s i urprise, but also a species
of dismay I Married ! Ile blushed more
vividly than Clara's sell. _
Surely it was time for an explanation
now ; and he was just openGg his lips,
when Grace. whirled him round, stand
ing on tiptoe to whisper knowingly in
his ear.
" Don't you want to see the wedding
cake, Cousin John, and the wreatlo
and the veil?
Without waiting for an answer, she
tiptoed him' into another room, polling
him along by the coat tail.
It was very embarrassing, to be sure ;
but then how pleasant it was !
The veil was a heap of snowy lace,
like a cloud of vapor ; the wreath was
all orangetblossom,woven in with tiny
green buds ; but the cake ! the cake
as a miniature mountain of icing, and
-frosted flowers and cupids, chiseled iu
sparkling white sugar, clinging around
the boquet of white Ilowers on the crest.
"Only think of it," said Grace, a little
thoughtfully-, as she pulled an oraqiite
blossom into its place in the chaplet,
to fia-ve the wedding day so near after
an engagement of lifter years! Oh,
Cousin .To;tn, you ought to bo a very
app, man
." I will explain," thought the bewil
dered Major, breaking into a cold perspi
ration. " Yes,7 he began aloud, " but
" You'll shom nie the ring,, wont
you coaxed Grace, as irwith a :gulden
thought. ‘! That's 'a darling ! for oc
cotu•se you have got it in your vest
pocket. And se hat have you brought
for Clara? An India shawl ; of course;
and I hope it's very, very splendid, for
there's, nothing in all the world too good
for our Clary,L
"Grace," !aid the Major, confide!'
tially taking her hand in his, "I want to
tell you something. it's very awkward,
Tit it really isn' - t: \ my fault, and Pm sure
you will forgive me when you come to
hear how entirely I have been the victim
of eirewastances."
Grace's blue eyes grew big ; her cherry
ps parted—what could it be? '
" Welt'," she ejaculated, breathlessly.
"Pm not Cousin John at all !" said
the Major with a jerk. "It's a mistake !
'Pm Major Parkinson !" You—are—not
John Milward
"No, I'm nothing of the soft," said
oni 3fli,ibf,
I know John Mil ward very well. I came
over with him in the Ohundaree, and if
lio%; your Cousin ,Tolim you've got a
s ileudid fellow for a cousin I'
And then the Major told Grace just
exactly how_it all happened, and she
blushed and laughed, and wondered ho . w
they could all h aVe been so stupid. and
confessed that "after all, she didn't
think he had been so ..,yery much to
blame I"
Don't .yty a word, lie whispercd. Let
her ride if she want 4 to. Gi'acious,
there's room enough.
• The young lady of Out her porte
mounaio and handed her fare to Coloiod
Jack.
What's this for? said he.
'said the 3lajor, I Give it. to the driver, please.
“Except that, you oughtn't to have
kissed me back so heitrtily,” Grace ad
ded, maliciously.
"I won't next time,
lan0)1y. • t.
" But fifteen years in India—it would
of course, alter any ono so completely,"
she said; "and what can have become
of the real John
She couducted 191 n back to the
V.hero he made his excuses :is fluently as
he could. Grandma was a little in
clined to be offended at first, and Ste
phen, a muscular young man, 'unite' ed
sonic half inaudible words about punch
ing the Major's.head fur him. But fuller
explanationi-restored a friendly feeling
once more, and the ph ter f ueiliac, sen
sible-num, insisted on the Major remain
ng. '
-i:or if 3 aware not our cousin John,
you came over in the same steamer with
him, and that ought to insure you a wel
come," lie said cheerily, "Su sjt down,
sit down, Major. Vim ;no the rich Last
'lndia nab* then, who has bought the
house next dooel We've teased Gracie
a good deal about setting her
\ cap fur
the new neighbor, havj l in't, wry Granic ?"
" Papa I , ' remonStrated Gracie, color-,
ing up as bright a scarlet as a ilaniingo's
wing.
to mak - a:your -acquaint;
nee," wont on tljn, comfortable gem
Oman, "oven if tTto mailtlvr isn't quitu
HO formal, ag etiquette, hooks insist on !
illy• name is Corey—Peter Corey—and
now let me introduce you to our family
circle and file:ids !"
So in less than flee minutes, the Major,
enliven , free from' the trammels of his
falso position, was made cordially at
home,. in the merry party and exceed:.
ingly snug and jolly lie found it. '
Presently a a Filig-at the door bell an-
notinced a new arrival, and the real genu
ine cousin John rushed in, all aglow
with his rapid walli l tind dripping front
head to foot with rain drops.
"lied no met of trouble at the custom
house with my lu,ggai4e—couldn't come a
second sooner I" lie explained, hugging
grandma and Clara, and Grace 'all at
once, ~with two or three little ones
swarming over his back and leg4-the
while; " Why halloa 1 Major-Parkinseii,
how the douco, canto yam hero ?" Then
of course ensued a third edition of
eirplariations• and' comments, nod then .
they wergtnerrier thau_ovor:
-
"Of course the Major will staylere,"
cried Mr. Corey, when finally his guest
made a move to go. "To-night, at
least !" • •• -
" Of courso, of coUrso.!" echoed: John
" Mustn't ho, Grace 2"
•
"Ho must do as he pleases;" said
. 9oit younklady- demurely. •
"Yei," said the Major, .tc.l•
And ho sat down again. •
„--Major Parkinson attended the wed
ding the next week, and ho 'belied to
decorate the. draWhig room with flowers,
and he carried chairs hack and forth, and.
wont On errands, losing - . himself 'invari
ably,. on their way, and - he sent tho bride
h"Selid silver tea service, - add 'altogether
ho made himself so' useful that gni.
?Corey saidjeelitigly
•
. .. ,
"What 814011th we.have . done-without
thnt dear'Major ?" ' ..
Grace, the gipsoy, hisietod on calling
.him cousin John just the same, as over ;
CARL tr. - 4 -PENN'A., THURSDAY MORNING FEBRUARY a 5, 1872
•
but from all appearance there will be an
other wedding before the yetu'is out in
the Corey family, and Major Parkinson's
brown stone house'Will be graced by the
mistress who was first seen by the Major
in the wrong house.
MfGHTY SOCIABLE.
Tho following extract, from Mark
Twain's now book, entitled "Roughing,
It," now in process of publication. It
is an amusing illustration of a back
settler's view of NeW York Life :
In Nevada there used to be current
the story of an adventure of two of her
nabobs, which may or may not have oc
curred. 3 give it for what it is worth :
Colonel Jim had seen somewhat of the
world, aud knew more or less of its ways ;
but Colcitiel Jack was from the back set
tlements of the States, had led a lire of
arduous toil, awl had 'laver seen a city.
These two, blessed with sudden wealth,
projected a visit to New York—Colonel
Jack to see the sights, and Colonel Jim
to guard his unsophistication from wig:
fortune. They reached San Francisco
in the night, and sailed in the mourning.
Arriving in New York, Colonel Jack
said : •
l';o heard tell of carriages all my life,
and now I mean to have a ride in ono; I
don't'eare what it costs. Come along.
They stems.ld Out on the sidewalk and
ColoA Jim called , a stylish barouche.
But Colohel Jack :
No, sir , ! Nuns of your cheap John
turnouts fur me. I'm here to have a
g s ood thee, and money ain't any object.
I mean to have the noblest rig that's'go
ing. Now, here comes the very trick.
Stop that, yaller our, with the pictures on
it—don't you fist—l'll stand all expen-
So Colonel Jun sapped the empty oni
alid 11ie3not. in. . Said C'olnnel
Jack :
Ain't it gay, though I' Ilk, no, I reck
on not ! Cushions, 'and wiudot4, and
pi c tures, till you can't rest. What
would the boys say if they could see us
cut ling a swell like this in :COW York I'
fly George, I Wish they could see us.
Then ho put Ills head tint oi,the wiu
dew, and shunted to the driver—
Say, Johnny, this suits ;nest—suits
yofi - r's truly, you bi•t! I want this she
bang all day. I'm qn it, old man ! Let
'ern out! , Make 'en: go ! We'il make
it all right with yes, sonny!
The driver put his hand through the
strap-hole, and tapped for his fare. It
was befomthe gongs eaten into rot - union
use. Colonel Jack took the had, and
shook it cort,Vally. Ile said :
, You twig me, old paid ! All right
between gentii. Smell ef that -cu
how you like it !
And he put his twenty dollar gold
1 1 )iece jut° the driver's - band. After a
fit Moen t; the d Tio 7
make change.
Bother the change ! it, out.. Put
it in your posJcet..
lime omnibus stopped and a young
lallygot in. Colonel Jack - started for a
moment., then nu,lged Colonel Jim with
his elbow.
_ .
Take. hifeir your money, madame. We
can't allow it. You're welcome to ride
here as long as you please, but this she.
bang's chartered. We shan't' let' you
pay a cent.
The girl shrunk into a comer, bewil
dered. An old lady with a basket
climed in, and proll'”red her fare.
Excuse me, said Colonel Jack. Yon
are perfectly )Veleolllo here. madame, but
we can't alloNN mi to pay: Sat right
down there, 111 11 111, (lOW t be the least
uneasy. Make yotu'rsell,.as free, at
you mac in your own turnout.
Within two minJitvg, three gentlemen,
two fat women and a couple of children
entered.
Coinu right along, 'friends, said Colonel
Jack ; imind I/9. This is a freo
blow eel. Then he e.hispered to Colonel
Nr NY Yeek ain't no pa'iifble l thiee;
don't rrelcon—it Me for it.
Ile resisted every effort to pass fares
to the driver,_ aqd mad° everybody cor
dially welcome. The situation dawded
utt tlio people, and they pocketed their
money, and delivered tlienNelves up to
coxert tliijoyment or the episodti. Half
plitietigerAetiterkl
Oh, there, is. pienty , of room, said-
Colonel Jack. Walk right in and nuke'
yourself at home. bli.l‘ . ..ont ain'tany
thing as a bloss-out unless a body has
Company. Then in a whisper to U“lonel
Jim,' But ain't these
they
Vorkers
friendly .? And dint they cool about
too? Icebergs ain't :my - where: I reckon
they'd tackle ?Chem:so, if ,it was going
their way.
Moro paisangois got in, 11101 V yet, and
still more. Both s.:ats were tilled, and
a tile cif men were mantling, up holtlinu .
On to the cleats one Ifead. Parties With
baskets and bundles were climbing np
on the roof. :llalf-NtippPessed laughter
,rippled up Um»
' Well, , for clean, cool, out-and-out
cheek, if-this don't bang aeyrhing that
()VIM I NOV, I'm an J»,inn, whispered
Colonel Jack.
A Chinaman crowded hie way iu. )
I weakeo,. said Colonel. Jiiele m liold
on, driver! Keop yf.im: seats, ladies and
gents. Just malt') yourselves • frco—
everything's paid ..for. Dris;er„ 'rustle
these folks aroundjust as long an they're
a mind tog')-f u`nTof (Mrs, you 15ucw.
Take theni anywhere l ; and if you want
more looney, .come' to the St. Nicholas,
and we'll make it all right. Pleasant
journey to you, ladies and gents ; go it
jtict,ii,s long as you please—it shan't
cost you'a cont: • -
Tho tlvo conirades got out, and Colo
nel Jack said--- . Jimmy, ; it'ii the socisb/se
.p/aco ,I - over saw.:- , ThoL,phinantren‘
waltzed in as conifortablo as' anybody. ,
il'Golirgo, l ' we'll havo,to barricade our
doors, to-nigh or sOmo of these ducks
will be iglu , ' to sloop with us. ~ ..
-. 7 .-....:-...:-..._. -.--,----
.
three hotels of Grand Lodge,
Michigan! have all. *taken down their
signs, and shut up their -houses against
travellers because thercan't soil whisky,
The local paper, however, inforinatravel
,
lors that they mod . not Stay away, as
there aro private houses• open tco receive
them, ' • • •
. ,
0 V76R THE , LULL FROIIL THE
POOR HOUSE.
So - pa to Over 11;e Mitt to (hr How..
BY BACITET A. S:grElt
'Oyer the hill at the pent•,huusn r ,
lii the twilight co diin and gray,
A WOlll3ll Is quietly lying • •
And breathi ng her life onrhy.
All oho., in tho 411,/, wool,
With nobody near to old,
And no oho to care but Qua' Father
11'12,, ho , ,th the prayer ,21,2 i said
blicid their. tar
They can't help lint feel reitione
When they leek nt the Orono] mid white witrii/p
'That cover lily etitratoni corpse. .. ,
They'll 1,111113 on 'von 0011% 111 the f untold
-3ly Charley and Idx pretty wile—
And they'll wilds, us they cry by Icy cullip,
That 1 voirlit cubic beck to tile. .
Flame!! t lay lien rent elii
I did Just thol.rtit
I,li/PW th tt, I ritiqr,l ',tin It I thrifty,
I tiled it i,d 10 ritino'cni gOOll.
Hu( n 1.11.111.1; o ill neyor listen
To half trim; tnrir nnothnr Bryn ;
And innylio I phi p;feil ';un tou holdout
.1 nd gaV, 'urn Wu ro oly prole,"
'rho ;not 1,111 e.cett,,. w,vi el okea,
And still vvvi the wint•y nit.,
; It; tip. rim it haf L•.l
mily n corpse NV, thus.
Tho liter ina,tor Nent-the ineao..J,o
To ens li of the children It ee ;
mother hail t.oatollm,l!ltylio !ate]
'leen grumpy. and three.
111111
I=
And ttny niiglit cfant• t.,
ll'ho l ' r:n )11.01t .11,011i1.111',. 1,11,
an 1113 wirt ,
Ittly Trt.t.nut , ';\ 'mlinntrtl to ro.
Aud sti I iloa• ho cou',lntalld It
.I,tl tV ail I g., ii nh•iil
Mllllllllll=lE=ll
th, 1,111
A 1un..1.11 wirlll,
A tl.l iI 111.;t ft .1 oi Th , i, 7
IN jry n,tury • t t,lny
BEHIND THE VEIL
Mr. Edge N . V ;IS late at lireaki:ant ;
)vas not an unusual occurrence. ; an
was disposed to lw erns:, that was alsi,
nothing new, so he retired behind the
neW,...paper :mil devoured his eggs and
toast without voneliplllig soy reply to
the, remarks of the fresh lookillg little
_lady opposite. Hut she pros gathering
together her forces for the livid on
slaught, and when at I,mgth 'Mr. Edge
had got down to the last pitrag,raph„and
laid aside the newspaper, it canto.
"Dear, didn't you say you were , going
to have 0 hundred doltus for my new
-
"IYhat furs 7" vat hor.ltharply was this
spoken. "011, pshaw ! What is the
tist.of bein g extravagant ? 1 have no
money to lay- (int in uncles:;
oil ones are g ood enough for any sera
1 Ige—good, soul
that she was--relapsed into obedient si
lence. She only sighed a soil iti‘vard
sigh, itinl presently hof,rait a TIONV :It Cal! k
" Henry will yon go With :lie to :iont's
?"
" C'Rut )'fill gD '2!
•-1.;„ 7... L. 1.2
Lemiter—for she had. one; thou4ll
did not often parade itself—was arinnaul..
Vim are sn fill of those little at
tentions you used to pay me into; you
never walk with me, nor ever `pick nf,
my leintikerellieli . nor notice my ilrec?.
you neve
' . \Vcll, a fa I imv Ito (IV:11' waititi
Oil a W0111:111, growled -Mr.
"Ann could Ito polite enough to Mrs
Waters last night., when you never even
thought' to asli . " sltether I wanted any
thing, though you knew perfectly well
that. I had a headache,- I don't believe
you (sate for me as much a , you used
to''—and 2.lrs. Edge looked extremely
pretty with luaus iii her Woe eyes and
the quiver on her round, rosy lips.
"I'shaw," said her bust:mid, pee% :sit
-13.•„ iltuCt he silly, ltlaria."
`And. i« the stage yesterday, you
never :inked :nu if I tray warm, or put
my shawl around me, while tlr. Brown
teas affectionate - to his 1,.11 . 0. It was
mortifying enough, Henry; indeed it
I didn't know women were such
-foul;," said Harry, as' to drop• on his
overcoat, to escape the tempest which
tuts fast. " Am 1 the sort
of a man to make a ninny of myself dy
ing the politj to any sort of\ a feMale
creature ? you ever )51.10W we to; be
conscious n ,other a woman had on a
shawl or a.sWoMpw-tailed coat?"
— Maria ina
a HMI 15nel:et handkerchief, and Henry,
the savage, banged thad.Jor loud onougll,
to give, Betty in the kitchen, t nervous
start.
•‘ IZiduing again ! 17.10 bkiieVe \se aro
going'to have a second edition of the
deluge," bald ;gr. Edge to himself that
evening, as he anNeoneed his six foot of
iniquity into the sontlisi'est.coraer of the
ear at.,S)ity Hill. "Go ahead conductor;
can't you ore we are full, and it is dark
already ?"
"In ono minute, sir," said the con
ductor, as ho helped a. little woman with
basket, on board. "Now, sir, move
up a little, if you pleaso."
Mr. Edge. was exceedingly corn fortablo;
lind did not want to move, but the light
of the lamp falling on the pearly fore
head, and shining golden hair of the now
comer, ho altered his mind and moved
, .•
What, lnvoly oyes,", a
quoth he, men
tally, as She bestowed single acknowl
edging giallo... Real violet, the" very
color I most' admire r ! °Bless me I what,
° .'brii:fliesS have 'marrloil men like ino-tb, be
thiulting about eyes? Thero, Dile has
drawn a confounded veil over her face,
and the light is as dim, as a tallow dip ;
hut those are pretty eyes!" •
The fair possessor of those blue oyes
'shivered slightly, AIM she drew her mitn,
'tills close 'around•her shOolders:,
;--!' Are yen cold, 'Mies r Pray honor
Ine by wearing my aliawl. Ido not need
-
. She did put yoruses—also murtmired
maiiiof;9nt apuloq for troubling
but i . t , ,w14 not a rerMiet!.):
" No trouble—not a bit," said he,
ranging it on .her tempting shinildern
and then ns the - Y-onng_lady,handed her
fare to the conductor, be said to-himself
What a slender little hand I 'lf there
Is'atiything I mlinire,in a wOhnin, it, is a
Protly hand: Wonder what' kind of a
moan she has got? 'lt must ho a de
lightful ono if it : corrosponds with her
hair find o'yee—plaguo taco the voila
.
• .k„..: . _ ' ' . , .
'4:•••' • ! r. • , . ~ . .
••••A - 1
. . 1•!' ' '
. .
. . .
. .1 •••- • I'. . :.I. ~.. . - • er .
V., . . . I
f 12..•!: „ , •• 1 , r.O. ~ i ' , 41,
1 .:1.. • , ~ .
• • : e -,.!'
',': •., I .---- 4. - .. . ~ ~ . ' . ... 1
•. LI .-7, t•,,,,• 1 4 " 1 .•
, • ..I; , • ' 4f,. , ~:, ~ ~
' ... ' ..i . l .4 ' '1 ,,, • ~; A 44 , . . :i - ' - '
ski 4.1 ... •.
~ g 4 ~iv. . . 4 , t1 • A ,4, -1 / 2 '5„4.. siA ._ - - . . ' , 0
. . . . - .
But "plague," whoever that mystical
power may be, did not take possession
of the veil, so Mr. Edge's curiosity about
the blue eyed damsel remained unsatis
fied.
!` Have you room enough, Miss ?
(eiti• you arc crowded. Pray sit a littlo
closer to ino."
"I tlO you sir," s was the soft reply
coming from behind the veil—a'S Mr.
Edge reflected—like:an augQl from a
dark eland. And his heart gave a large
tlitimP as the pretty shoulders' touched
his own shiiggy overcoat jo a liesitatid;;
sort of way.
"Decidedly, tins is getting quite
romantic,'' thought he, and then with
an audible, whisper, "what would Maria
"
The rest of that long dreary ride ,was
delicious with the shoulder :IRMA .his
own. How gallantly he juinpdd up to
pull the strap for her—by some streak
it' iapperaM to be -in the very street
where ho intended to stop: And under
the circumstances we. hardly blame him,
when the cars stopped too'suddenly tliat
she caught at his arm, for the squeeze
he gave the plump, rosy Band—any man
of souse would have done the same—it
wita.such aujuviting little lily.
"Allow me to carry your basket,
Miss, iks our path lies in the same direc
„aid—Mi.—Edgei—eourtcously- re
lieving her of her burden, as -he spoke ;
"and—arid—maybe you'll find less difli
cully if you take my arml” ,
Well, wasn't it delightful ! Mr. Edge
forgot, the wet ,strects and pitchy dark
ness—Le thought he was walking on
roses. Only as he approached ids door
Le. begat; to feel a little nervous, and
wished the little incognito world not
hold on so tight.. Suppose Maria would
be at the window, on the lookout, as she
often was, hOW . would she interpret mat
ters') - couldn't _make Leer - believe
that he only wanted to be pulite to the
fair traveler. Besides, his sweeping
declarations in the morning—she will
Le sure to recall them. As lie stopped
at the right number and bade her adieu,
he was astonished to see, her likewise
run up the steps to enter. Gracious
A polio ! llc burst into a distil prespira
tion at the idea of the young lady's
"I think you must have made a mis
take, Miss, this can't, be your house::
lhtt le, was too late—sho was already
in the brilliantly lighted hall, and Corn
ing rood threw oil her dripping ltbili
mehts and 'made A-low courtesy.
" W-hy . Illy wire I" gasped Mr
• Edge.
am happy to see thiit you
Lace not forg•Olten all your gallantry to
wards us ladies, — pursued the merciless
little, puss, her 'blue eves (they were
pretly all in a dance with suppression of
"E lgo 166 E -64 tri,in - ceiling to ihYdr
search for a loop hole to retreat, but in
MEI
" Wt.ll„r lie said in the most sheepish
a tom, g. It's the first time I was ever
polite to a lady in the cars, and hang me
if,it, shan't be the very last."
" You see, my dear," said the ecstatic
litter lady,
didn't expect to,bo de
layed si long and had not any idea I
shonld Meet with such attention in the
cars, and that from MY . husband too !
Goodness. gl acious, nor.- Aunt Priscilla
will co joy. the joke I
"If you tell that old harv, I will
never bear the last of it," said Edge, in
desperation.
" Very probable," was the provoking
reply of his wire.
"Now, look here, dading,” said Mr.
Edge, coaxingly, "you won't say any
thing, will you? A fellow don't want to
be laughed at by all the world. I say,
Mails, you shall haVe the prettiest furs
in New York, if you will only keep quiet
7 -you shalt, 1.11,0 ' 11111V honor."
Tic lellll'll WL : 10 satisCkietory, and Ma
ria capitulated—who wouldn't l' And
that is the way she got those line •
that tilled the hearts of all her female
friends withenvy. And perhaps it was
what nail'' t[r. Edge bitch a couiteous
husband ever since.
A S . TuPln liusnAND.—hiding. horse
back
.imt at night through the woods
iu !'avi,naw t:onnty, Michigan, I comb
into a Ltaring, in the thiddle of Which
stood a log house, the owner sitting in
the open door smoking his pipe. Stop
ping my hot. , re before him the following
conversation ensued :
" Good evening, sir," said' I.
"Gogil
"Cam 114.0.1 n g,Lcts of milk or you to
drink ?' '
•'w "Well, I don't know. Ask tho old
woman."
.1.13 , this time his wire was, standing
by his side.
While chinking it I asked ;
"Think WC are going to get a storm:"
" I tnitliy don't know. - Ask
the old woman—she eau tell."
geegs we hhall Ket ono right;
away," sOq the wife.
- 1; asked :
in it hoid have you got
cleared hare?" '
"IVell I don't really lthow. Aslc
the old woman —she knows!'
"About iducteop neves," said she,
• ,".
again answoriug.
Just: then. a ti•ogp of chikken Came
running SO sholifing around the corner
of the shanty. • • •
• "AM these your 'children," I said.
" Don't know. Ask 'the old woman
—sire: knows best."'
I did not. wait to lieutlter reply, but
drew rein, awl left immediately.
ME "SI win Itu TALI!,-._Y mi.:ill.]: now_
the golden rule : /' Do unto others as you
{Vould wish them to do to you.", Here
is a rule which is almost a• iialt of the
golden rule, but which, we will put by it
self; and bocaurb of its value, call it the
"Sdebr Rule." - "Think and say all you
can of tile good qualities of others i for-
Nt
get and n'lfffiet coo , corningtheir bad
qualities. ou Can not Conceive how
much such a course will heighten your
own happiposs, and raise you in the es
teem of your matos.• Did you over think
any more of a boy or girl because ho or
she found fault with others? Never
call your schoolmates or playmates ugly,
or cross, ncithei• to their faees; nor be
hind their backs ; .' If they :We ugly, or
Sting,y,.or cross, it does not mako them
bettor to talk or-think about it, .while
it makes You love to dwell upOn - faults of
others, and-causes 'your own soul to grow
smaller, and . you become Mitt, the foul
bird tba prefers cariouTor food." . 1
THE RIGHT
.TR3TIMONI
The ease pending before our court in
terested the people deeply. A. few
months previously Jacob Ames:bad died,
leaving property tm_ the amount of fifty
to sixty thousand dollars, all of which
was readily available. At first it was
supposed. that the old man—ho was
eighty-seven—bad died without having
made a will, as ho had often been hoard'
to remark that making a will scorned
like a preparation for death, and. as
there could be no question about thein
heritance of hie 'property, ho did not
chobse to make any such, to him, ghost,
ly testament. 'His direct, and Only legitb
mate heirs ..were two orphans, both
girls, children of his only daughter. One
of them Was a cripple, requiring almost
the undivided cake and attention of the.
other, and both W'ete beloved by all who
knew‘them. While people were feeling
glad that the orphan , sisters were t 9 be
thus grandly provided for; a map named
James Arnoldd - fillsonted a will for lira
bate, said to be the Last Will rand Tes
tament of Jacob Ames, made several
years before. This Arnold was a neph
ew-in-law c& old Jacob, the child of a
wife's sister, and had for several years
been employed as business agent and
general accountant of the deceased ; and
whemhe caused the will to-be presented,
he - produced wimmber of NI, itneb. es w_l_na
declared that they had often heard old
Ames say that lie had madelthe only
will he should make, and that JaMes
Arnold was his heir ; and what seemed
to make the matter sure, two witnesses
to the will, former servants or employe's
of the testator, swore, pOint blank to
haring seen,Ames place his signature to
the document, after which they signed
their own names. Honest people shook
their heads at this, for these two wit
nesses—a man and his wife—were not
above Auspicion. In fact it was general
ly believed that a small sum or ready=
money would buy - them, body and soul.
I entered the court room late in the
afternoon of the third day, just as the .
last witness was about to leave the wit
ness box ; and this witness was Thomas
Cloudrpan,.. the servant just alluded to.
Ile had been questioned by a juryman,
and had made a plain Statement. Every
thing was against the poor deserving
orphans, and all in favor of the despised
nephew. In fact, do honest Man, under
the evidence, mild have brought in a
verdict against Arnold:s claim.
Tho juryman who had questioned thfs
witness sat at the end of the boy ; and
close to bite, among the spectators, stood
old Harvey Goodrich, who was at that
time engaged in the paper milrof Day
& Lyon, l at Portland. I had known
him year::: before, when ho worked fur
Rice, of Newport. The juror held the
will in his hand, open, and Goodrich
east Iris-.eye-upon-•it: _saw--the.-old
paper maker start and tremble.
Let me look at that ! I heard him
whisper, for I st.'od cloiie by. .
The juror, without considering, handed
him the thicument ; and before the coun
sel could interposetud regain itA Good
rich. had seen all Ile desired, and his first
movement, after relinquishing the will,
was to hasten to she side of the orphan's
attorney, and whispered, hurriedly and
excitedly, in his ear. I saw the attor
ney, wltose name was Shipman; bend his
bead attentively, and start to his feet.
What was it ? In those few brief mo
ments the ; whole audience had caught
the fever of excitement, for itwas clearly
evident that something, of, importance
was on the tapis.
May it please your Labor, said Ship
man,' very quietly—so calmly and so
quietly that we feared it could lie noth
ing of importance, after all—l must • ask
the indulgence of the court. I wish to
present new and importalit testimony.
There was a slight ear of words be
tween the opposing counselrwf ter w•hicfy
by permission of the court, the oldi pa
per maker took the witness boX. Ile
gave his name, residence, occupation,
etc., and then Mr. Shipman placed the
will in his hands..
Mr. Goodrich, will you ... pleas() eic ; .
'mine that docuinont
I have done *o, sir
\villa, is the t ritt date of ?
September fifth, eighteen hun!lred, and
forty one, answered the witness, read
ing from the inat =lent.
Nowolr. Goodrich, will you please
infom the jury, and the court, if you
observe ;Litything else, in or-.,upon that
paper which you hold in your .hand, tbat
would positively affect the reliability of
that. written date. Make .your own
statement, in y Mir own r. ity, only make
it concise ;nut clear.
Yonr l honor, and gentlemen of the
jury, commenced the witness, this piece
of paper which I now hold or my hand
was manufactined by myself and was
calcndored elan) a machine of My 'own
invention. The water-lines, in place of
the ordinary*hic ruling, was included
in my improvement. Yon will also ob
serve, upon close inspeationthough
the ink upon the surface has somewhat
obscured it—my own' stamp in water
marks. 'Your Honor call exatAino it
fur yourself. •
The Jud g e to o k the document, and
-held it np against the strong light ; and'
iniOltudarily he read aloud, so as to he
heard- by all in the room—for every
breath was misled—ll. Goodrich's
Patent. Eighteen hundred and 'forty
three I •
Yes, your Honor, broke in Goodrich,
whose ploffasional integrity wa'i nosy-in
the balance : I can solemnly swear that
that sheet of paper was not made-until
at least two years aftor the date of tho
instrnment which has boon written upon
WI face.
The paper was giyen to the jury; who
wore - all upon, their feat. A4;nOld's
counsel demanded to 'see it. Mr. Cloud
mau and,his wife got up, and tried to
leave the room,, but were prevented.
Judge audibar wore in. a state of for...
moat ; while the dense audience swayed
to and fro in eager, painful,' suspome,..
Would this old man!slentimonyhava its
legitimate weight? •
how could it be otherwise P
There was a witness more potent to t an
intelligent court and JurY , than speech of
tongiie. The contested will bore in its
innermost heart—in its " lieart of hearts"
=the emphatic evidence of the base lie'
upon its written face, Other witnesses
were• calle(i.one papar maker and two
'Paper dealers—but the' thing was set
tled. The water-lined date of the paper
was evidence enough, 7A little while
and the Judge ga4o his charge—about
.ns' brief a charge_ as I ever heard. A
little_ lodger, and wo know that the or
phan's wore the true and legally estab
lished heirs to Jacob' Ames' fortune. I
will not attempt to describe the scene
that fellowed t Suffice it for mei to say,
that the pedufed Parties Wore severely
published, while the sun of joy and glad
-4.less cast its gracious beams upon tho
beloted and'deserving sisters.
FICA7'S ,OF 31-E3falll
Memory is nearly as Much a it vale as
ever. Wity in seine men mnonuo•y should
be strong-and in others weak ; why the
memory should be stronger at one Lime
than another ; why the same man should
have a strong memory for some subjects,
and a -weak'one for others why illne'Ss
should obliterate some suijects com
pletely from the mind—are piohlems
still undergoing pationt mid attentlve
scrutiny.
The memory for figures, or power or
mental calculation, is well-known to all
of us, either by its presence or its absence2 i.
Jedediali Buxton, George Parker Bidder
wind Zerah Colburn; arc instances too
familiarill known to need detail here.
Geo rgo Watson, the Sussex calculator,'
could tell the dates of every day since he
wits-a-child,nnel-what-Ite-was-doi ng-o n
that day ; he could show many other
strange freaks of memory, but was a
heavy, ignorant fellow generally, very
vain of his one acquirement.
The nipmory of languages is quitiin
distinctfßeulty f so far as can be judged
from recorded instances. Mithridates,
we hre told, could converse in his oh ii
language to thematives of twenty-three
countries which were under his sway.
Cardinal Mezzofanti appears to have. had
this faculty in a stronger degree than
ally other person that ever lived. While
. ed neat M g -fur the priesthood' he -learned-
Latin, Greek, Hebrew, .Arabie, Spanish,
French, German and Swedish. As a
professor at some of the Italian univer
sities he constantly added to his store,
until at the ago of forty-t iree he could
read in twenty languages and converse
in eighteeh. In IS4I, when he was six
ty-seven years old, he sits as well ac ,
quainted with Portugese, English,
Dutch, Danish, Russian, Polish,
mian,.Servian, Magyar, Turkish, Irish,
.Welsh, Wallachian, Albanian, 'Bulga
rian, Illyrian, Lettish, Lappish, as with
tile languages which he had first learned ;
while to Arabi'e he added Persian,
Sanserit„Koordis, Georgian, Syric,,Chal
dee, Samaritan, Chinese, Coptic. Ethi
opic, AbySsinian, and other Asiatic and
African, tongues. At the time or his
death, in IS-19, Mezzofanti c old write
eloquently and converse fluently in more
then seventy languages.
Oilier:ire - counts lir in enti-frS'TFlr
words are pool' corn pared with this ;.nev
ertheless, many of then, me sufficiently
remarkable. John humble used to say
that he could learn a whole number of
the Mani icy Zost.in four days, and hen- .
oral Christie made a similar assertion ;
but it is not known how far cithra of
them verified this statement. Robert
Dillon could repeat in the morning six
columns of a newspaper which lie lied
read over night. During the repeal de
bates in the house of commons thirty-.
seven years ago one of the member.)
wrote out his speech, sent it to the news
papers and repeated it to the house in
the evening ; it—was found to be the
same 'verbatim as that which lie had
written out. John Fuller, a land agent
in Norfolk, could remember every word
of a sermon, and write it out-correctly
alter going home ; this was tested by
comparing his written account 'with. the
clergyman's manuscript. Sealiger could
repeat a hundred verses or more after
having read thein a single time. Seneca
could repeat 2,000 words alter hearing
thein once. Magliabeelii, who had a
prodigious memory, was once put to a
severe test. A geffileman lent him a
manuscript, which was lead and lc
turned ; Luc owner sometime afterwards,
protendhag he had lost it, begged Mag
liabechl to write out as much as ho could
remember ; whereupon the latter, ap
pealing to his memory, wrote oat the
whole essay. Cyrus, if some of the old
historians a.re to be credited, could re
member the manta of every soldier in his
immense army. There was a •Corsican
boy who could reheMse forty thousand
words, wliether sense or 11011bl:11SC, as
they were dictated, and then repeat them
in the reversal older without nmking a'
single!mistake, -A physician of IllaAa
chusettsi, about balsa century ago, could
repeat the whole of Paradise Lost wit / lt, t
out mistake, :!Ithough.lm,had not (1 , 111.1
it for olenty . years. Euler, the great
mathematieian, when he became blind,
could repeat the ',holy of Virgil's
,Eticide, and t - aoull remember the first
lino amb-last line is every page of the
particular (-Udell which lie been ac
customed to read before lie became blind.
Ono kind of retentive memory may 'tie
considered as the result of sheer hard
work, a determination towards one par
ticular achievement, without reference
'either to cultivation or memory on other
stibructa. 'Phis is frequently shown by
persons in humble life'in regard Ili the
Bible, An old beggar man in Stirling,
known some forty years ago as Blind
.4k.liolc, afforded an instance of this. Ito
knew the whole of the Binle by heart ;
' insomuch that, if a ntendi''' were read
to him, ho • could name book, chapter.
and verse . ; or, if'tho book, chapter and•
verse were named, he could give the ex
act words. A geMientan, to test hint,
repeated d'verte, purpos'ely making
verbal inaccuracy ; Allele , hesitated,
named the Ace wheselho passage is to
be thumb but at the steno time pointed
out tai verbal error. 'The same gentle
n an ced bini to repeat the ninetieth
v If the seventh chapter.; of the bOok
of .'NuMbers. Alfbk , almost instantly
replied "Theta is no such verse ; that
chapter has only eightynitieverses."— ,
AlLthe_Year.Bottnd.---
IN Illinoig,tla" (~ a is a child, -now three
'Months 'old,"tvergliing but: two pounds.
Its length is bat seven inches, and its
face about the size of a watch crystal.
Its tiny arms aro to slender that a :3111;111
finger ring lnay he slipped - on either of
them up, to the shoulder.. This little
creature is already uniking quite a noise
in its part of the world,,and hualiids
have called to see it. The parents are
, 'of.staildarci s o. ,
NUMBER 7
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
A NOD Fellow-- 7 .7llornliens.
IIiItEDEEMAI3LE bonds—Vagabonds.
Tim land of Nod—Au auction shop.
CHICAGO taxes ono'cent•dn a dollar.
FI'PTY American wolleges addiit wo-
OE
MUTCAL friends —Elcroscuc and coro
OM
A GOOD wife 11th health, is ulaWs best
wealth:
Goon musicians execute their music,
the bad ones murder it..
Room for improvement is probably
the largest room in the world.
CLEM; YM EN, like brakeineb, do a good
deal of colliding. •
War is old ago like a dog's tail?
Because it is in-firm.
.A. ca:r that frequently dips in the day
time—a brick bat•
WOMAN first tempted 111111110 eat. "Ile
took to drinking on his own tiecount.
WHAT can a man have in his pocket,
o t,
wl nit is empty? A big hole.
:on your business or your business
wi not honor you.
'fnitEE' Inilh un of dollar.; in letters,
canto last year to the dead letter office.
T E gicatest curiosity iu the world
has at last bOiin , fo!iud. It is aV^ Divan's.
BAPBERS make many friends, but
serape morc acquaintances.
- 1113,"P - 710 -- tirottia1's, ti t. at — your - baby
kindly, but Uot, cordially.
Tun use of tobacco is prohibited in
the hall of the 'lowa Legislature.
A 6.ItAZIIEn in Sumner county, liansas,
has lift y-one thonsancthead of cattle.
Mu. JOAQUIN MILLEn is reading his
own poems tO California audiences.
IN this country there are over 00,000
tninisten , , one to every 000 people.
CLEAN hisuss next to goaliness, and'
soap is next to charity.
A MI:RICANS are eaiti to have a .atrahge
fondues.; for lyceum.; and pies.
111 - ir.rmwrzsi.t is always a „kxint.atrairrs*
and jut there is only one hasty to it.
ONE tidy ought not to envy another
lady's roan Itoi e, becauso. it i.a not her'
own.
a vessel has a fall compliment
of men, can she he said to he in at:roma:l
MIES
MAti.n.v a ppor 1;1;1 and abc NV . III 'go up
with you ;, a rich mie, and . she'll go
down with you.
117u] can't eat enough in one week to
last a year, and you can't advertise on
that plan either.
FIFTEEN fires with-in four months at
Paterson, ha \-c caused an aggregate loss
0f.5210,000.
. THE British .711useunt ha., an airy il
R 1 I formerly,b6louged to otiV of the
Pharoahs.
AN English pickle maker does a busi
ness of three millions a year, and no ono
the fatter fur it.
rescued from a burning home ,jut, be
fore the roof fell.in.
AK Indiana cdittr announces : "
leave to-morrow for the . country hog
show, and Mmtt to title the prizts. • '
Cly.r.LEs LAM,I says : "A. laugh is
wm th a Inumired groans in any state or
the market.—
MILS. G says ber husband is
exactly like a tallow candle, because lie
always will smoke when he is going out.
"Fto.t - nos won't lie," is•net supposed
Lo apply to a rtshionable woman's figure
says the Mobile Register.
AN Indiana youngster nischiewously
set the family piano on (Ire. By playing
on it vigorously it was ei.Cinguished.
Wriv is hot bread like caterpillars?
Because it is the grub that makes the
butter-tly.
is too many lament Ale instanees, , the
last scene of all this strange,' eventful
history" is—kerosene.
WHAT is that, which has three feet
aml cannot walk, sixteen Mti,ls antl'ea`•
not .serat ch y4rd-stiek:
WHyl6 a la aver like-a sawYer Be
cause whichever way he to 'us, down
MUM come the dust.;
I'uE Chiistian maxim,live and la
live, — is ignored by mauy ollisll peo
ple nuw-u-ditys. -"--•
I. crawled into a sugar hogs
head, and his th . fq exclamation was,
"lnt, for a thousand tongues
" grog up ugly if you make
faces,l l said a maiden lady to little
niece. " Did you make faces when you
W Cll , a gill, aunty . t"'
Jinn (a.LN G 8 says that opera music
don't have any more etrtiet, upou him
than, castor oil , would have upon a
graven lunge
CurtisTlANsuulto, Virginia, lilL4
croble tad:L.3'l4.'l)l)ler who has built
himself a mrst, and is gravely sittiug
upon four :14)1,1c,,
AN Indiana gill, who 11;,dibecn
bit the lb um b of her faithless lover.
She probably w:mted 'to secure: as much
of Lis hand as i.ossible.
A cm,mGYNIAN LV 5 1151:01.1 NVllailer the
triemlans of his church W1'11.7 unitudl 'lie
amv.erc.l thaVants were in l rfeetly Lulitod
•
" You say, — jui4,o to a wit
`t that tlie 11Liintift tesih.tvil inge.
minis use of eirettmAantial - evidenees
state jest exactly v.:hat you mean by
?‘ Well, :said the Wil 111'
oxaot meaning is that liiilietl."
Tifoxias Naafi, the
great, carie.attrist, is thus ticacrihad by
his frieuti Nagby : •
" Nast is a luau about tbiriy•four .
years or ag,;, aaq about live feet Hewett
-inches in height.. lie hag.a keen, sharp _
eye, and a'good German face, has black
hair, and is dapper and . ncat in his per.
don. I think he was born in Bruslaii t
Germany, and came OVCV here when ho -
Was about - TA ikeyears orago.
wanted Min to be a jeweler ; but-he - was
already betrothed to art. Frank'teslie,
I think brought him out first, at tho
time ho sent hilts 'to England to , Make
pidtures of the great. neentin-SayerS
prize. fight. • And then when th6,'war
broke out,ttle Harpers sent him South
to sketch battli#
Ho lives, I think, hi One Hundred and
TWeuty-lifth street,
.New York, 'in a
mottipit frame—house. , .llis wife and.
constitute his family. They
have no- Servants. AL the end of tile
lbt, on scbleb his honsii stands itt a one
story brick building, where ho does his
Work. :He hits-there the quaintest Col
lection of curiositictirchielly Of art, that ,
could be:imagined. His' Wife is a lady
of- rare Pitelligence, who assists him .
greatly in his labors. She is ii„ relative
of James Parton. Nast is a man of in,
dominablo Courago.and,rare intelligence.