'lutnovoxi The An tied the ; Within the fields one summer' ' dair, 1, 1; ..,.-.aLatt.ong4utiged ass began to br4y ; „111,*nlilands echoed back his a vOce, To hear ifoiade hie-heart rejoice. -what avit,y," tried the ass,-, ' "That I should,Umger feed on grass - ;, lungs are strong; my voice is ion A , At concerts I might draw. atrowd. ' • )..iitito music l how it 911s1 ~:: T ke,.valleys sleeping !along the bills I "Twas sweet . l know for look see What A ,„ sand ears for music I have got I" " great musician heard the'din,' ` iiasehlg With his violin'; lie'stopi)ed a while Upon the way bide the Ass' to : cense to' bray. ' ,"MitYriOng 'cared, friend," the fiddler said, • !T4is neighborbmid must wish You 4ead ; *For worse than;any sounding brass . ••,1, •Is your coarse braying,' Mr.' Ass: )( , • Ifi'yoti. Wish music,.cease Your ' &nd listen to my He rubbed the rosin on his bow, tried the notes both high and IoW ; ' Making a staiio dwfor a chair played a grand, soul-stirring air, ' Ere he hid ceased his tune to play . 1 'The ass began again to .bray ., .; - • No violin, nor song of bird, ' Could fora moment. then. he heard. At last the old ass dropped, his head, • And to the musician said : `''.l l ,Music is sound, my fria4d, you \ see— \ - '.Therefore all soundniiiai:Music be ; . ': or mine the world plait-be the' prandest, Because, my friend, It is.thelogda*" '`,What more couhl the musidart,aa* ? What Waller do hut let him ibray • - Be wandered ,off through tivilight wisdom ices too much for- • j i l , CONCLUSION. , . Howmfiyineerwe 'flail „•psiff ' 'p ho re t on like thiihi tying ass ! 1 ', - li . Tfieygro to men' frombrak),*(;,rt 66ys,‘, - And thiniAl/at eirains'niust cntike iinolse They gain litilik seats in synagogues ; ~.11*4 mystery:tilieii:Vision fogs; - ‘ ;',:,W.liatee'r the liekle . r.Argument, . - -' They give bpi! . stpm-of gas !. vent, ,: And wise lien irhiitie'i as they pass ' ~ Thep'3 goes a-self-conceited ass; ' 1 An . Essay on' Mules. • k Tho mule Is the most nnealthy amma in the world—unhealtny to have around.' , 'The v e ry atmosphere about a mule . is danier ous to iobabit.. • i; We hive money to bet that when nature Made the first mule some on got hurt. ' 0 d mulg is always "at Wiwi," as you will find by calling upon one of thc"critters." • He is continually - possessed of a yearning desire to stretch himself—especially his hind lega• ' r We have knOwn this yearning to make trou ble in several families. rkikfM r Oti d . whicla a innle happens to give you may very properly be called an a-bray- Imre, Be careful that yell are never. "wound up" in tali way . .- - • . 1 A. mule is a great prop et. He can prophesy a m4's:stidden.intim or death twenty feet off. . • This makes him very' profitable to doctors and undertakers. Ile is also posseped of a, great, heeling poW . The. saying that a bqglit jewel lies deeply buried in the end of a daule's tail is a delusion and a, s n tire. ' Mule meat may be a pod diet for a Fiench '' but it for. beef-rates= -- ~ sir V- Man hut not for. beef-raising . anict.es. • The less nule meet a Man b the bettei.. %Theonly Way that we could ie pursuaded , to eat a mute would be to b-eat bhn. Likewise, the only Way we 'could be got to ride a mule would be to de-ride And the darky was right when be said that the only way to "'.ub" a mule -was to "c lub" No crom - ever sees a mule kick him. The man is usually seized with obscured vis ion just at that juncture. We have seen'a man t get up alter a mule had kicked him (very rarely thougOand swear with both hands uplifted that be didn't belie Ve the animal had 'stirred a peg—he lookedeo immov able and unconcerned,. 1 ' • " . - A mule is a very qi.jek:s.nimal. Great quantjtiei'of thiti 'substance lie hidden away beneath histoe:callis t Cauti6n—Take our' wo l it for is, and doh 't i go hunting around in that tou can't weigh a mule with any sort of ac curacy. An ounce of mule weighs more than a pound' of any other live stock;.:` • , - .:And no matter what his ,condition may be a mule is - bound to kick the beim. ->, • 'r only beam which a mule cannot kick is :,Buthe can knock the, beam out of a man's exe with a greater alacrity , than any other:-in- • respect he is a-regular motOr poiver. great explorer the mule is - equal to , . Into '411,00, exploting_for a man he always I '-` ,The safe at place, to stand by‘a, mule:does not neis-the'i3yinaiiite Rept of tixe - four legged We have haye otteo i2riahOd_ that some "bunko". man would try to "rope in" &mule. , Elewould neverbe worth ` a rowtpit4 agaluj ;The mule:Vo , 61*.irrlioadOrUg - 22 Pr 3 sl ik Oi lte X# 4° o l , oel 'O' r c H3 g ,, I.4rhe•-*1.*:54 , 1 4 4* . i41 1 : 12 / 41 0; ' ilny.wiig . : imi0w5 ,4 01 . 4 4%)14;, t I A Bridegroom's Joy. "Are you; the writing man ?" A. broad smile on his sun-gowned „countenance, and his hand was outstretched in . way that betOkened a heart overflowing with trite. inwardnesa - "One of them," replied the: city, editbr, as be looked up and: met the beaming face ,of a fall-, fledged conntryman. . "The fellow that: writes the surciety e" "Yea" ' • "Put it Char an' shake: Idid. You're jea tip top, you are. • Why, Ella' was wild. Been reading it ;all day:, if you'll jes go down to the house, blatu'd if 1 don't believe she'd butiou. Why, whO she laid her dyes on it this Morn- , ing she was WOrseen a b.ly on: the first rabbit track of the season. 3 0h, Sol she says; 'but didn'tle sling in the big - Ords, though?: "But won't that jes - waken up old PluVanner,th l ough. They alien told me that you done things clean up to 'the handle' here *in Waililfigton/'"tut " % say,'stianger, hoir d'ye find it out so iiiith'? ' "What is it, eir? I • - 'Don't remeniVer I 'Ddn't know t I'm Solo Mon the' 'chap' was'hitched bist night."' The editor reniemb.ered thnnaNne as that of it, city merchant's son,whose fashionable wedding had Wien place the evening before, and Coin prehended the' countryman's "Yoti . recolkct me now ? Didn't,siy riodthin", nbout the runnin' away part y did , you ? a good loGkiu' gal, but didn't you just- ' stretch the blanket a little . : 'bout the bride and her. dresses. • "Great Christopher ! Why. stranger, she wanted nae-to go right back to Fluvanuer and run for the Le,gislature. "Now, I tell you what you do. Ilere,s as 2 bill; htere's nothing stingy 'bout me. You jes send one of them paprs to every man th,,F16 . -; wanner; county'.. Sling . , !;_em . 'round perlitics.l ditieiyineiit style. Me` ahfl Ella will go back to=morrow; in' coins' to Congress right off'. I will, sore's you're - born ; there's nothing 'ike gittm writ. up; in.-the , newspapers, and that'll , _ jes'.. take .11friahnei county, and.. maybe the *Mile o', old Didn'tleusitw Sattirday` night a - Detroite'r commenced get tinX drunk: so that he t OulA not-- be used as a witness a ease in . tliV - 'l 3 bliee Court :to 'he tried., yesterday.. The - main.. was -pretty '=drunk Sun-1 daY mornifig; - TalmOst sober ' by - drunki again by tught, and - yesterday noon was about - half aOd-lialf, just able • to navigate, but so be 4 ftiddled and mixed up that 'he didn't know al street car on a switch from a w4ite-headed boy with a wart on his neck. Entering a store` on 'Woodward\ avenue thetippler flaked "Sheen Johnson 'round yere?" "What Jonson?" was asked. 1- "Siiam Johnson, course?' • .. "Why, you are Sam Johnson yourielf;" • • I!Zhat so ?" exclaimed the victim, blinking wisely and seeming much put out. "Of course it's so.- Who did you think yon - were l? „ "Qbv'ner Cass !" "Well, -you aren't." -- "Zben rm. Johnson, am ?" "Yes sir." "Sham Johnson?" "Ves sir." "And I zbon't 'mount to much, do I ?" "Well, not a great, deal." "Just a. common man, eh ?" "Yes ; you are about an average man." I The inebriate held on to a chair and looko sorrowful as he said "I'm sorry. Thought all time I Wig Mizzer Gov'ner Cass,but if I'm Sham Johnson I won't try to put on any more style. 3lncher bligcd to yoiL Might went 'round here hull year 'tbont 'knowing J. • was Sham Johnson lin hadn't 'formed me P nib Little Grocery. Ele was a clean-looking colored man of adi vanced age, and . When he entered a wholtiiale house on Vesey street, New York, one of the clerks politely informed him that the situation of porter was atready filled. , "Does .I lOok like a man \ who'd be regared aS a porter ?" demanded the 'stranger. - ! excuse me." "You is discused, sah. Whar" is de foren4p ? Over dar, eh ? No, liar, I don't want in be i)or ter; l'se One ob de eblal men of Newark ; snd I'se here on 'portant business." - lie , wanted goods. There were lots of tvlods there, and it was very , easy to suit 'him is to prices, but he had no .money, and no noun , mendations. I pay is sure in sixty days," be.urged. f`gut you can give no security." • i What you wants of security.?•.Won%l the • - gcioda be dar ?" • . "Yo may may have sold them!" • ,"Den Won't de Money. be dar, all cOuhted out on de. counter? An' it s de money ain't,;, dar, \ won't I be dar? it.te ifs'. _Sin% dar, an' de ole woman's gone, an' de children • can't be fOund, can't I be (rowed into bankruptcy an' all smashed up ?" • . • But bq didn't getsany goons. - , , • - 4111 w - It is said that during leap yearlyoun,g ladies have the right to exercise privileges of Young men ; but we don't see thetwloattng on the street corners or;around stores. A young lady is too much of a geritlernan for that. I • a. 4. "Can you_see . me, dearest ?" said a :Chicago .man to his dying wife. "Tell me, can you see ine?'!" No, she faintly whispered, "1710, can Smell your breath." . Wages are ten cents a. day in China :'but ~erith those ten' , cents 'you staistribe tor ti daily paper, buy, _astair of striped stockings,l4ittiess a play that lasts, nineteen Ileum and hay° a mfortable sum left ,to send 49 the. benighted dienizensot the Neiv World' to be used fir , siongry purpose& l'hase usually deserve most from their friends, who meet least of them. ' t • TIIE I)l:v:c.4*Ti,::-4' .... _ . , 1111 ,. Ai . W. ,Tc,DICKEIRDIAVPS. , . .. .. , .1 - -.. 7 -• -...:•••• -,-_. • -1 .. 1 , .., '•. i. , . ,, - .)A -• - ,• E '•• • ' • : 1 f ' ~ New 11111ord, Pa, c ;z = CO be found the largest and best as ' • - •159itment of Furniture consisting of , •I • • t- • ' 1 'Rato R n OOM C , • AND , AIPCING HAldßis HAI, ; • '-• FURDUTIME, „ • II —AO be found. in the County, all new t •• 1 and of the latest patterns 04, be ,sold • very cheap for CASH. All, goods as' represented. • : & W. T. ,DIO'KgeR k IOR. i 876. JOB PRINTING 'A SPECIALTY. . With Our,four, presses, a large assortment : . of plain fancy job type, borderi, inks, paprs, eards,'ete., and experienced workmen, we are ,preparetlto do M # . i Kinds of Job Work ti't the LOWEST PRICES. Promptly, upon ' receipt of Order, (by mail or otherwise,) we can furnish Wedding Invitations, \ 'EnveloPWßill Heads, Statements, Note Heads, BOx,..Labels, Snow Cards, Admission Ticii etti,iltall 'Tickets, LaW Blanks, Auction Large Posters, Small Posters, , Bottle Labels, Calling Cards, Address Cardg, Business Cards, Invitation' Cards, Pamphlets, Business Circulars, Wrappers, Tags, Dancing. Programmes, etc:, etc. HAWLEY 435 . CRIJSER, Democrat Office. . May J.R.liairmas. 3 li Gl.Biammie I J. N.• Comm% Barnes, Blanding & Co., platbit and 6taaitt irotho, EESTABLIMIND IN 1840;1 MANUFATI.T.RERS OF ALL KINDS OF MARBLE AND, GRANITE MONDIVIENTS. BOOKERS OF SCOTCH GRANITE, 26 Chenango St., Near. Depot, Marcil t B. BINGHAiII.TON: N. Y. W STEAM MILL. PL_OTER, FEED AND 'LUMBER. I A - Rare Chance.. The? undersigned, having just completed a , new STEAM MILL. at ALLEN'S CORNERS, will keepon hand a goud supply of Fresh Oround Cayttra Plaster. sufficient to meet the demands of all who desire it in this section. Also a supply of Feed. Lumber not on hand will be salved to order. on short notiee. Post Oftieetaddress.'Montrose. Pa. 'March 8th,1478.-2m. AGENT 50 subscribers Cully. Best literary paper. 1 On yslso a year. Three $lO chromes free. { Munyon 6c Spondier, Pubs, Phila. Pa. 20 AGENTS Wantea for THE CENTERNIAL BOOK 015. BIOGRAPHY, or the lives•of the great men of oar first 100 years, `Sen d for circulare. P. W. ZIk.G. LERi& CO., 518 Arch street, Phila. 20 Y Sermons and prayer meeting M OLi If ••‘...3 talks froni the Tribune verba tim ieports. 500 pages $2. Just out. 3000 aol before publication. AGENTS WANTBD. E. B. TREAT, Publisher, 805 Broadway, N. Y. 20 110SYCHOMANCY.or SOUL CElARltifigfi. Bo* oitb i'er sex may fascinate and gain tbe•love and affec tiona of any person they choose Instantly. Thisatm pie. mental acquirement all can possess. free, by mall. for tic. together with a marriage guide; Pgyptian Ora cle. ;Dreams, Hints to Ladies. Wedding Night Shirt,&c, A Ter book. Address T. WILLIAM & CO., Pubs. Phi adelphia. " 22 $5 TO Anszyra wanted for u . new . nninnees,in which any Man or Vroman ca,, t.,ssily ttl 1 0 never canvassed before, made s,l 50 in A :• one hour :an experienced anent made 1 • . $72 75 in 15 hours. Particulars free. C. DA y 4 7. ekr e G in Mn ow nager i. 0&D uo n a nn t e o t, li e: SUID 0 eponsible and reliable,, and think he 0f .1.4.E.4 fers Azents extraordinary inducements.' —N. Y Weekly Suit, Apr II 19,1876. . 19Vir3 ' . Agents wanted for the New Historical Work Our WESTERN BORDER. . A complete and Graphic History of American Pioneer Life 1.00 "ir PIUS 4961131r.cnt • Its thrilling conflicts of Red and White Foes- , Exciting adventures, icon's-, pioneer women and boys. Indian war-paths. camp life, and Erma. A book loreld and young. Not a null page. competition. Mormons sales. Agents wante&everywhere. Illustrated Circu lars free. J. C. McCURDY & CO. Phila. Pa. 22w4. Men are earning $4O, to $l2O per week . 1 1 selling 1 r rizr AND ITS Rif.SOURCES. Complete in the thrilling history of 100 eventful years also the Exhibition,--grand in description of our migh ty:resourcei in' agriculture , commerce, minerals.mann faOturing. natural wonders, curiosities. etc., all richly illnstrated: A Century Map and Birds-eye View free: 1,900 more - agents wanted quickly for this and our stan dard Life of Livingstone, '60,000 already. sold, also new Bible, 2;000 illustratiop.l4, Rae no equal. Exalt terms Write to }TUBB &RD BRUS., Publishers, Phil. 22w4: F OR 1 COUGHS. COLDS, HOARSENESS, AND ALL THROAT DISEASFA. WELL'S tARBIILIC__,- TABLETS. PVT UP ONLY IN SL U E BOXES. 'I A: TRiEri, A ND SURE REMEDY. I Sold by ;Druggitits geuerally,'and JObstott.llolloway it co. Philadelphia, Pa. • ' AGENTS WANTED FOR THE I -'. • E NTENNIAL -. .., S HI TORY OF THE u •S., .. The t'r4t intere.lt in our thrillintt history makes this Of. fiititest tiolling book ever PulYlislied. It contains, a to n accouul of tbe (hand centel•nial Exhibition._ I CA,TITION.--Old. Incomplete and , Unreliable work re being, circulated ; see that tboAtookdfott bily.- con ttli us 442 rino En,„, ,,, ravi lig '.- and 92.)04eitt : . Send for, Plraulara 'and extra terms to—whfs. , : • ~ ,s.(ldiesa natiPi) itblie4 DK co., elill, I ..rt 3, 121,..- •t •• . it •, 1 , ; • '' ZIMINNT MANTLES, &C. ALSO. Dancliir k Co. JTNE 4, ( C. -) ,- --, \ ~,, , -. ••.). :AA. - :( 4 ) 6: .)•• 4 ,...;,..-f.. , . - - , _. - ....... . .. .. ..... . , _ ~ . . .. CRUST ND