The star of the north. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, February 07, 1850, Image 1

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    THE STAR OF THE NORTH.
Weaver & Gilmore.]
VOLUME 2.
Till? STAR OP THE NORTH
i> published every Thursday Morning, by
Weaver & Gilmore.
OFFICE— Up stairs in the New Brick building
on the south side of Main street, third
square below Market.
Ycnxts :—Two Dollars per annum, if paid
within six fnbnfltß Ttbnt the time of subscri
bing; two dollars -and fifty cents if not paid
within the year. No subscription received
for a less period than six months : no discon
tinuance permitted until all arrearages are
paid, unless at the option of the editors.
ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding one square,
will be inserted three times for one dollar, antl
twenty-five ceutsfor each additional insertion.
A liberal discount trill be made to those who ad
vertise by the year.
BEAUTIFUL LINES.
We clip the fallowing beamjful lines from
the selections in Willis' Home Journal,
where they wcro without credit. The spea
kers are a dying girl and her lover. The
ardent passion manifested by the youth,
suggests to the girl several imagios under
which she supposes that he will personify
her after death. The stanzas are in the form 1
of a dialogue—the girl suggesting the par
ticular images in succession, the lover res
ponding.—Pittsburg Pest.
"Even as a flower 1"
"No, fairest; bo not to me as a flower;
The uncertain sun calls forth its odorous
breath;
The sweetest perfume gives tho speediest
death;
The sport and victim of a summer hour.
Fairest, be not a flower I"
"Even as a star?''
"No, brightest; be not to me a star,
'Tii one of millions, and the hurrying cloud
Oft wraps the glitt'ring splendor in a shroud.
Morn pales its lustre, and it shines afar.
Brightest be not a star!"
"Even as a dove 1"
"No. purest: bo not to me as a dove.
The spoiler oil breaks in upon his rest,
Robbing the downy joys ot its soft nest,
And plunging silence through its native j
grove.
Purest, be not a dove!"
"Even as a rock V'
"No, my most faithful; be not a rock.
It mocks the embracing wave ; or stands
alone
In loveless dreary waste unknown.
Senseless alike to fortune's stniie or shock.
Changeless, be not a rock I"
"Even as—myself?"
"My soul's best idol, be but as thyself;
Brighter than a star, fairer than a flower,
l'urer than a dove, and in thy spirit's power
Steadier than rock !
Yes, bo thyself, thyself—only thyself/'*
Written for the Star of the North
Perplexities oi a Matt with n Family.
ST "EXPERIENCE."
CHAPTER I.
When I was a young man, it ever now and
then occurred to me that I ought to provide
for myselt a helpmate. I thought my char
acter and position in the world would entitle
me to look for a lady with at least a dower
of graces and talents. Miss Alden, flip par
aon's prettiest and youngest daughter, would
do: but she was garrulous, trifling, and too
thoughtless. Jane Siddoti was pretty and
sensible, but then her seven sisters were the
wildest, harum-scarum set that ever mortal
pndured to troop around him; her brothers
-vet.9 professed gamblers, and if I married
Jane, tho whole family would be a life-long
annoyance, charge and disgrace to me.—
Mary Forsyth was of a fine and wealthy fa
mily, but stupid and a little tho shortest of
female mortals, while I measured six feet
three in my stockings. Miss Rank was con
fessedly the "smartest" of our village ladies,
but it was very easy to discover that she was
a prude, brim full of coqtietlry and aftecta
• tion. Ellen Winy, the landlord's daughter,
always met mo pleasantly, hut then the com
pany of her mothor was not to be endured,
and her father was a vidian aud a drunkard.
But I was young and full of romance. I
to dislike any body on account of
discreditable relatives. 1 argued to convince
mysell a thousand times over that the sins of
tho parent should not bo visited upon the
child. I was an enthusiast ;;i every thing,
and believed most sincerely in whai my pre
ceptor, Doctor Gordon, called the perfeetibii
iiy of human nature. I commenced court
ing the favor of Ellen Wray, and much as I
despised her father, avoided quarrelling with
him. 1 believe she reciprocated iny attach
ment for her, and so we confirmed to meet—
t to live faster and happier—she to become
, every day more amiable, agreeable and lov
ing. Tho Doctor hinted that I neglected my
studies, and some of my friends teased me
about-Old Boniface, but I cared for neither.
Tho retired back parlor of her father's
house was where on. most interesting meet
ings took place. I had made hergifuof some
valuable books, and allowed Old Boniface
to swindle me out of all my pocket money ;
for I was then yet a credulous, simple soul,
inexperienced in the plots of the world. One
day I came into the back parlor at Wray's
when no one was in. Setting down at the
table I entertained myself by looking over
.the books, paintings, drawings, tic. In lac
ing aside an album, a loose sheet accidental
ly fell out, and feeling myself a privileged
person, I had the curiosity to glance at it, for
at first I thought of no such thing as reading
a nolo discovered as this had been. But
elite* I have learned more of the frailty of
human natare 1 venter* to say that no young
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 1850.
man ever accidentally found an open note
addressed to his lady love, which he did not
read if he was alone when he first touched
it. And so, being only mortal, when I saw
that I had in hand a note marked to "Miss
Ellen Wray," curiosity convinced propriety
that reading it would not be an unpardona
ble sin. I easily convinced myself, (1 think
I took it as an axiom,) tha a wife should
have no secrets from her husband, and from
this, in some way, I deduced the conclusion
that 1 might at least read one open note direc
ted to Ellen, when I had found it where there
was not the least evidence that she herself
had intended it to be strictly private. So 1
read the note. It ran thus :
DEAR ELLEN-
I have just arrived here with my
sister, and will greet you with a kiss to-mor
row evening ; if you will meet me at Mr 3.
Jay's, and if Mr. Poe can spare your compa
ny. lam sick to see you, and he must not
he jealous of my love, since I have the old
est claim. FRANCIS EATON.
Rural Retreat, Juno 20th, 1818.
Another sheet was folded along with the
first, and upon it I just glanced at the sen
tence — "I shall be so happy to meet you"
and saw Ellen's signature to her writing.
Tho top of the sheet was torn off, and a blot
upon it; but there was proof enough that
this was the answer to her lovor's epistle,
and that she had sent him a clean copy of it.
I threw down the letters ami was frantic.
"Fooled," exclaimed I, and rushed into the
street. Strolling along and using tho ivory
heail of my cane as a socket, I muttered—
who the devil can Francis Eaton be ? It
could not be a trick, for the note was writ
ten in a largo heavy hand, and certainly not
by Ellen. The villiitn, to talk of a kiss to
her, and to make sport of duping mo! I
did not swear exactly to shoot him or to
drown myself, but I was beside myself.
Meeting my young friend and fellow student
Jones, he accosted me with—
"Well Poe, they say that girl Ellen of
yours is a great one to be letting every nice
young man kiss tier in the dark." 1 felt as if
I was in a pillory.
At the dinner table Doctor Gordon's lady
tauntingly it seemed, adverted to the charms
of Ellen Wray, and when I smothered my
annoyance by sullen silence, she closed by
saying in a sly way—
"And I've heard several young men com
pliment her, as having the finest, pouting,
and most tempting lips of any young lady in
the village."
Well,thought I, so then I'm a fool and
every bod) knows it. I counted up how
often I had met young Harvey, aud how of
ten Mr. Linn alone iri her company in the
back parlor. I sat down to write a letter
upon business, aud when attempting to pen
the date, involuntary wrote —
"O vanity of vanities, all is vanity 1"
I tried another sheet, and this time in a
mistake wrote—
"O frailly, thy name is woman 1"
1 counted up the very cents out out of
which Old Wray had swindled me—went
down street—quarrelled with him like a pi -
pirate—called him a scoundrel and a vidian,
and about half threatened to flog him.
I though, of boeoining a hermit, a reduce
to escape the corruption of the world. 1
thought of writing a book upon the depravity
of mankind. And, in fact, I thought of ev
ery thing to make mo wretched.
In the evening, for relief from the misery
of solitary reflection, I went over the way to
spend an hour with Mr. Stine and his family
1 had just got into an earnest conversation
when two ladies were ushered into the room
and, before I could recognise faces, I heard
the voice of Ellen Wray—
"Mr. Poo, allow mo to introduce you
to my cousin Miss Frances Eaton. She
wrote to me a few days ago that she would
be at Mrs. Jay's this evening, and I have in
sisted upon her going down to our house
to see the rest of her cousins."
I have never since been jealous, but I m ike
all my children learn to writs plain and dot their
i's.
The Retort Discourteous.
At a convention of clergymen, not long
since, it was proposed by one of the mem
bers, after they had dined, that each man
should entertain the company with some in
teresting remarks. Among the rest, one drew
upcn his fancy and related a dream. In his
dreaiZ? he went to heaven, and ho described
the golden s.\ reel 'r the river of silver, etc.
As he concluded, ot.O of i-'te divines, who
was somewhat noted for his penuito'.'* "ltd
money saving habits, stepped up to ?he nar
rator and equired jocosely :
'Well, did you see anything of me in
your dream!'
'Ye;, I did.'
'lndeed ! what was I doing ?'
'Y"U were on your knees.'
'Praying, was 1 ?'
'No—scraping up the gold!'
ty The California Constitution. —The lib
eral journals ot England speak in terms of
great praise of the constitution recently a
dopted by the Califortiiane. They say that
it is one of the most judicious instruments
ol government ever devised; and that its pro
visions, with the exception of those which
limit suffrage to the white man, are marked
with the highest wisdom.
PRACTICE.— I 'Madam you said that your son
was a physician, has he much practice ?'
'Why, yes, eir, that has a practice oi
smoking cigars.'
For the Star of the North.
BENTON AND HERESY.
As your excellent paper is the political cy
nosure for the tegion of country where it is
visible, every little aberation in its revolution
(lor the pole Star actually revolves about a
centre.) should bo explained, or some small
barque that guides its course by ts light
might bo wrecked by a trilling variation in
its course. Now, that bright little luminary
occupied a place when last visible a little out
of its true position. In descanting very sen
sibly upon tho proper use and misuse of
Legislative instructions, nn error, to the wri
ters understanding, was committed, which,
as he was placed in a position a little ditlet
ent from the editor, to enable him to detect
the mistake, ho feels bound respectfully to
note. Mr. Benton is spoken of, as ffldjg the
object of unmerited attack from the fljpisla
tnre of Missouri and as being assailed im
properly by a largo portion of the citizens
of thai State, and hence tinder the necessity
of stumping the State to vindicate himself
against a factions attark. Now the writer ol
this communication has no doubtefct your
sincerity in writing the editorial alluded to,
but respectfully believes its author to be la
boring under a misapprehension. Mr. Ben- I
ion, as the writer understands, has within the
last two years changed his position, and from
a radical democrat, which character he has
so well and proudly bore for the last thirty |
years, become a latitudinnrian—as wild and ]
wilder than anv Whig or Federalists—advo- j
eating the "free which is only
another name forabolttion—and the most ex- j
travagant schemes ot internal improvements ;
by tho Federal Government getting up
schemes of rail roads across the Rocky moun
tains, mote than 3000 mileß in extent, one !
line of which is estimated at 80,000,000 ol 1
dollars, all of which must be made aud up- j
held by the old lax-ridden States, and other j
extravagant schemes, all of which expenses
in the end will have to be footed by the old !
solid Slates of the Union. Besides tyr. Ben- j
ton's sons-in-law are retained and employed
in highly important stations under the admin-'
istratiou of General Taylor, which tact alone
proves that Col. Benton's family are receiving
at least, aid anJ comfort from the enemy ot <
democracy. Besides, General Atchison, his
colleague, and as sound a democrat, the wri
ter believes, as breaths the air of Missouri,"l
has taken directly opposite grounds to that
assumed by Mr. Benton. The writer knows
that the name of Benton carries with it, Irom
his past labors, a power and weight—but no
man's past deputation should give him a
claim on the support of the Democratic peo
ple when he abandons the principles upon
which his former popularity was built.— !
Henrv Clay commenced a pure aud radical |
democratic career—but be abandoned that
bright career —changed sides of the great po
litical contest that always has and a.ways
will he waged between Aristocracy and De
mocracy—and tho democrats left him—for
they loved the principles of freedom ami jus
tice better than fickle man. They kept their (
oyes steady on the pole Star of the democra
tic cause and let Mr. Clay go and reap the
reward of his inconstancy. So let us reason
in respect to Mr. Benton and any other frail
mortal who may find it convenient to sustain
democratic principles while they aro prospe
rous and then abandon them when danger
seems to threaten, or ungovernable passion
prompts to revenge The writer believes that
the Legislature of Missouri and the people of j
that democratic common wealth are vindica
ting the integrity of the democratic cause a
gaiust the flagitious attacks of Col. Benton.
A.
Dry Goods.
Tho following incident occurred, as we
leant from good authority, in one of our
store i the other day
"Buy any butter here 1' said a country cus
tomer who walked into a dry good's store
on Market square, and looked much like a
character who knew a vast ileal more about
himself than he cated to tell.
'No sir,' replied the merchant, 'we don't
wish to hue any.'
'Want to buy any oggs ?'
'No air, we Keep a dry goods store here.'
'So I Wall then, maybe you'd like to buy
some chickens—fat as pigs aud a mighty
sight nicer tu.'
'No sir, I tell yon wo don't deal in any
thing but dry goods.'
'Could'nt I sell you a nice hind quarter ot
pork I'
'1 tell you sir, we deal in dry goods exclu
sively here.'
•Wal, what'll you give for dried peaches V
TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR,— ""The Mirror says .-
A queer typographical error ocCl'fred very
lately, which shows how great a change a
type may make. The editor was warmly
eulogizing tho otiieial conduct of a public
man and said that 'lie had lived down his
enemies. The compositor, however omit
ted the v. so that the sentence read he had
lied down his enemies.'
I
W A lady told her servant girl to look at
a vane upon a Bteeplu near her house, aud
see which way the wird was. The vane
had beett taken down, lor ttte purpose of re
pairing it ; but the girl obeyed her mistre>6
and beholding nothing but the rod upon
which she had been accustomed to see the
vane, told her mistress that "the wind was
right up and down."
Never regret whet is irretrievably lost.
Truth and Right—God and our Country.
For the Star of the North.
MATT Kit Or TASTE.
BY SECRETAIRE.
N. I'. H'illisis a most singular fellow, hav
ing very peculiai notions on most tilings, and
just as singular a niannerof tolling litem. —
Not lorm since, I came across an article from
his pen, in praise of fat, large "V tun en And
in spite of having a very hail caso, he does
certainly invest them, with particular charms
and makes them absolutely bewitching.—
Now I thought '.his a most unccbnntablepen
{JuuU ; but possibly, Mr. Willis I'-inks that
the more of a good thing, Mti 'uW-r.
Now, CJeorge (lordon Noel Byron says that
of all things, he hales a dumpy woman. For
the sake of nationality 1 should like to agree
wit IKMr. Willis; but my own unbiassed in
dividual opinion coincides with that of Lord
Byaou. In takir.g a wife my motto wonld
be. unless I alter my notion, of two evils,
choose the least. No doubt all this is a mere
matter of taste, and the imagination may cer
tainly invest the earthly goddess, whether
she ho fat or lean, with every thing necessa
ry to constitute a man's happiness.
Rut notwithstanding what 1 have said upon
this subject, upon second thought I believe
that Shakspcare, at least by implication, is
against me; supporting Mr. Willis, with the
whole weight of his characteV ; for it will be
recollected, that Desdemoim was a woman,
fill of most blessed conditions. Now, if a
woman were large, and tS.'Jf blessed, she
would unquestionably have the advantage o
ver any, who minht serve as an emplifica
tion of old king Pharaoh, loan kine. Still,
considering the risk one has to run in a' case
of this kind, 1 mean getting a wife, a medi
um would be perhaps the safest.
After all, I love a neat, nice, tidy, little
woman. One of those pretty, petite, fairy
like croaluros, who flutter round you with a
smile, ami presently leave you to sigh. There
is a happiness coupled with this misery.—
Ah ! 1 feel that 1 love the v ery sand in which
tire imprinted her delicate little foot-marks.
The dew, brushed from the grass by her, in
her morning work, is blessed above all other
dew. The sun, as he rises over tho moan
j tains, joys 'o see Iyer sweet morning face,anil
I presses, as I should like to do, a burning
kiss upon her ruby lijis—gives a brighter
1 lustra to l.or "•*. 1 will
quit, or I sh&.l have all the little girls in love
with me.
One of the G'hals.
We were, not long since, much amused
by a couple of Hoosier girls who rauie on
board the steamer, , at the little town of
, Ml. Vernon, la. They had evidently never
| bee* a thousand miles from home, and were
i making their first trip on a steamboat.
! At dinner our ladies were honored with a
! seat at the head of the table, and the eldest
I one, with her usual independence, cut her j
| bread into small pieces, and with a fork rea
' ched over and enrolled each mouthful in the
i dressing of a plate of beef steak before her.
i The passengers-preserved their gravity tlur
! ing this operation by dint o' great effort.—
! Perceiving that her sister was not very for
! ward in helping herself, .-be turned round to j
her and exclaimed, loud enough to ie heard
| by hall of the table— "Sal dip in the gravy—
I Dail pays as much as any on em I" This was
! billowed by a general roar, in which the cap
j tain led otf. The girls arrived at their place
J of destination, before supper, and w hen they
left the bout all hands gave three cheers tor
the girls of the Hoosier State.
On ! FOR A BOOT-JACK.—A countryman re
cently arrived at one of our third rates hotels,
laie in the evening, and inquired for a boot
jack. "Boots" soon appeared with one of
the cast-iron pattern. „
'How do you s'pose I'm going to get ofT my
boots with that tiling?' ejaculated the conn- '
| irymati.
'Boots' eyed the countryman's pedalextre- |
rnitios lor a lew moments iu\d ihen scratch
ing his head, said:
'Dal am a tact! he. ho, yaw!'he shouted.
'What the mischief are you laughing at,
you ihuuder-cloud V demanded the country
man.
'Nuflin—nuflin—only I advise you to go to
de crotch ob de street, and dar you can pull
otf item hoots! Yah! yah ! yaw !' and tho
darkle vanished.
INCORRIGIBLE.—A lad named John Meyers
was brought before Alderman Buchanan, on
Saturday, charged upon the oath of his mo
ther, with having become associated with
such evil company as to render him entirely
beyond her poWer of correction, and at times
so incorrigible that he was only fit to be left
alone in the street. The magistrate sent him
to the House of Reluge.
- —- ————
Never believe that which 6eems improb
able.
Never expose your disappointment to the
Lworld. 111 T -
E Always speak well of your friends ; but of
your enemies, speak neither goor nor evil.
Sell at small profits—for cash—and make
it known through the newspapers.
Be ashnrned of nothing but yournown er
i rors.
ILet the business of all others alone and at
tend to your own.
MR. AND MRS. BATTLE J
QR, MOUSE vs. RAT.
Mr. and Mrs. Battle, were a fond and lov
ing couplo in the town of N , who, for
about a twelvemonth had dwelt as "one
flesh" injaw matrimonial, and whose union
tints far, if a shade less blissful than that of
the turtle doves, hail afforded an example of
conjugal felicity as edifying, to say the least,
as the generality of matches. It happened
one winter evening that, having exhausted
all their usual theme of chit chit, they had
been sitting in silence for some ten minutes
together, luxuriating in "uncommunicating
muteness" of fishes, when suddenly, with
piercing Shriek, Mrs. B. sprang from her
chair, and jumped upon the side table, cry
ing out at the top of her lungs, " Lord cf
Mercy I Oh, ihat horrid being I Kill him, Mr.
Battle, kill him
The husband quick as thought, seized the
poker, ami though half frightened out of his
senses, raised it firmly over his head and
placed himself bolt upright in an attidude of
defence. For some moments he stood
speechless, with mingled wonder and awe;
then casting a glance at his wife, who stood
leaning against the wall, pale, shivering and
half frantic with terror, he at length recov
ered his wife and the use of his tongue so
far as to ask, in a voice somewhat faint and
husky—
"Who—where—what is he?"
"There 1 there ! husband, don't you see ?
there! Itisnomau—it's a horrible great
mouse. Oh dear, I shall faint away, certain!
There he comes again this way. Merciful
heavens! Oh! oh 1"
Mr. B. breathed a little more freely, after
thiß last piece of information, for to say the
truth, he was by no means a Hercules in
strength of stature, being only four feet ele
ven in h:s boots, and weighing but just one
humired and five poujpls, even after dinner.)
and as he supposed it some house robber or
cut-throat who had hid himself in the room,
that had caused his wife's freight, his knees
had begun to knock together a little, a la
BeUhazzarf notwithstanding his great show
ot bravery. But now regaining with marvel
lous quickness the use of all his limbs and
faculties, he advanced boldly in the direc
tion idicated by Mrs. B's finger, and with a
courage aud presence of mind worthy of an
Alexander, Mcoeeded by the aid of the po
ker in stretching a most ferocious looking
rat lifeless on the floor.
After a few moments, peace and order
were again restored, and Mrs. B. having sSc
ceeded, hy an astonishing degree of self
control, in quieting her nerves, was again
seated at her wotk table, busily plying her
needle, when a loud tinkling of the door
bell was followed by the announcement to
Mr. Pry. Pry had popped in, as he said, 'to
see how they all did and and have a little
social chat;' but as it turned out (unfortu
nately for the peace of our excellen
couple) he was just in season to hear from
Mrs. Battle's hps a relation of wtjat she cal
led her 'frightful adventure with the mouse.'
'No, my dear,' interrupted Mr. 8., 'a rat.'
'Excuse me, my love, but 'twas a mouse.'
'But I do assure you madam, 'it was a rat.'
'I beg your pardon, sir; notwithstanding
you assure me, lam quite sure it was a
mouke.'
'Don't tell me, Mrs. Battle ; do you think
I'm a fool, not to know a rat Irom a mouse,
aud in my own house too ?'
'Keep cool, Mr. Battle; don't get huffy be
cause I spoke a word Some how or other,
lately, I can never open my lips before you,
but you must fly into a pet. And ther. you
must be twit—twit—twitting me always a
bout your house, as if yeu were lord of ev
ery thing here, and 1 were only your humble
servant. I declare Battle, you are cross as a
Bear and as unreasonable as you can live."
'Mrs. Battle, you are enough to prooke a
saint. Three times you have contradicted
me, and '
'Ail because I said a mouse wasn't a rat.
A mouse ain't a rat, and you know it Bat
tle.'
'Mrs. Battle, there's no standing this—No!
—nor I won't stand it any longer. I will
have a divorce, it there's one to be had in
the country. I won't live with such a ter
magant. No I won't Mrs. Battle, and that's
the long and short of it."
Here Mrs. Battle fell back in her chair,
and burst into a flood of tears. Pry, finding
matters getting a little too hot; ciept slyly
out of the room, and run for home as if
from a hornet's nest. Mr Battlo paced the
room hurriedly to and fro, for tho space of
five minutes or more, with blanched cheek
and lip quivering with rage, and finally seat
ed himself by a window, and with an air of
affected concern began to whistle Yankee
Doodle. He had b :en seated hut three or
four minutes, when his wife, suddenly rais
ing up, came across the room, threw her
arms affectionately about his neck and bu
ried Iter head in his bosom.
_'My dear husband.'
'My dear wife.'
'I have offonded—deeply offended you.
Can you forgive me ?'
'Yes dear, a thousand times.'
'How foolish I was to dispute with you,
dear one, about such a trifle.'
'Yes, it was very foolish in both of us.
But never mind thank Heaven ; we've come
to our senses again. Kiss me darling—there
ail's made up. Ain't we happy now ?'
'Yes, my love. Clouds will come some
times, but thank Providence they are all
gone now. We couldn't have expeted sun
shine always. Oh, won't we have the pre
. cious times together, hereafter loving each
other so tenderly 1 There—it does seem to
me as if I were at this moment perfectly,
happy.
'Blessed wife, kiss me again, darling.
There—we've had the last of our quarels—
havn't wo dear one V
'Yes, dearest. And if we were going to
quarrel again—which never canbe— it would
be about something of mofe importance—
wouldn't it, love? The more I think of it,
the more foolish it appears, quarrelling about
so triflir.g a thing as a mouse.'
'lou forgot, my dear; a rat, you mean.'
'No my dear, I mean a mouse.'
'How can you, over aud over again r '4 was
a rat ? D'ye think I've no eyes?'
'I say what 1 mean, Mr. Battle; and I
mean, just what I say. To say that was a
rat, is the most als ird thing I ever heard. A
rat, indeed !'
'Absurd or not, Mrs. Battle, I tell you, you
are a simpleton. You don't know beans
from a broomstick!'
'Then it's becauso I've lived so long with
you, Battle. I don ; beliovo you over saw a
rat. Every-body knows they have round
tails, like a tile. But I'm an abjure woman,
and I won't put up with such treatment any
longer. 111 goitome to my father's. We'll
see then, how some folks will get along
Aud I will tell you, Battle, it was a mouse."
•And I tell you, Mrs. Battle, it wasn't a
mouse.'
' 'Ttvas a mouse.'
' 'Twas a rat.'
1 "Twas a mouse.'
'Rat.' ,
'Mouse.'
'Rat.' -jM
'Mouse.' 'Rat.' 'Mouse,' 'Ra<Pllouse.'
'R—' <M—' 'll—.'
Just at this moment a stage coach drew
up before the door and the appearance of an
old and long expected friend, who, alter a
long absence, burst suddenly in tho room,
and put an end to hostilities, and threw both
parties into a temporary good humor. To
this day, however, the cause of Mrs. Bat
tle s fright has never < eased to be a prolific
source of contention Mr. Battlo insisting
most strennously that it was a rat, and Mrs.
Battle protesting with equal pertinacity that
it was a mouse A hundred times they have
squabbled till almost ready to broomstick
each other, and a hundred times they have
jusr matte att up ngatn, arrd'asttrrt each oth
er's forgiveness, when an unfortunate allu
sion by one of the parties to the cause of
their quarrel has caused all the smothered
fires of indignation to break forth afresh.
Butter Making.
Scene tip in Vermont—(Aunt Deborah sal
ting butter. Enter Mrs. Noodle.)
Mrs. Noodle.—Now, then, aunt Deborah,
that is just like you, for all the world. You
salt the butter that you sell better 'n what
you eat. hy, Mr. Noodle always tells me
that salt costs money.
Aunt Deborah. —So it does, hut our Bill is
pretty cute ,and lie says, when salt dont cost
nior'n a cent a pound down in Boating, and
we get twenty-five cents a pound for it in
butter, we can afford to put in some.
Ugly Looks aiul a Good Heart.— A lady with
eyes that resemble peeled onions—and a
nose as crooked as a politician's creed a
chin like a hoe, and a mouth stretched from
ear to ear, and opening like a jack-knife,will
be sooner respected and beloved by those
whose opinion is worth ono's pains to secure,
if she possesses a good heart and a kind dis
position, than if she were as beautiful as
Milton's Eve, with a cork-screw disposition
and a heart of lead.
PAY FOR "LOBBYING."— Hugh W. Evans, a
lawyer, has brought a suit in court at Balti
more, to recover SIOOO of the Susquehannah
railroad company for attending the Legisla
ture of Maryland as a "lobby member, and
securing tho passage of a law favorable to
the company. Among the items of expense
enumerated by him, are several charges for
oyster and champaigne suppers, given to re
fractory members.
I V M. de Lamartine, it is Baid, goes to
Asia Minor in the Spring, to take poseesston
in person of his tentorial gift from the Sul
tan. The domain lies in the immediate vi
cinity of Smyrna and is nearly 54 miles in
circumference.
Or A Colored D. D.—The Senates ot the
University of Heidelberg has conferred the
title of D. D., on Mr. Pennington, a runaway
slave, who is minister of a colored congre
gation in New York, but at present in Edin
burgh.
EST Thomas Moore, the poet, is in the
enjoyment of good health, physical and in
tellectual, al his cottage at Sloperton, takes
his daily walk along the terrace which bor
ders his pretty garden, and drives as usual
each day in a small pony carriage.
W A Greek Maid being asked what for
tune she would bring her husband, replied,
"I will bring him what gold cannot purchase
—a heart unspotted, and virtue without a
stain, which is all that descended to me from
mjr parents."
Rest satisfied with doing well, and
other* to talk as th*y will.
[Two Dollars per In—,
NUMBER 2.
INDIAN ELOQUENCF.
A female of the party of Mohawk Indi
ans which was through this region a short
time ago, recently addressed the following
neat and eloquent remarks to a Philadelphia
audience.
"You see before you a native of the for
est. Expect not much from mo. My
is far away. In the woods, where wild
mals roam, and wild flowers bloom ; whore
the bee sips its honey—there is my home.
The hunter is there—tho wigwam is there
—and there, like the treo, with leaves nearly
gone, whosu-limbs are bent, and hang, and
droop, with its sap almost run out—rs Mr
mother
O, my mother! though thy daughter be
far away, thou art remembered, —loved '
prayed for, by thy child. I wish we could,
like the birds, make sweet music for our
pale-faced sisters and brothers. But we onlv
warble.—We see so much that is great —so
much that is beautiful—big villages—big
wigwams—big churchos, and their bells fil
ling the air with ther calls to come and wor
ship our Great Spirit—as to make us feel
how little wc are. O, yes, you are many—
we are few. You aro wise, and knoi
much—we aro ignorant, and know much—
we are ignorant, and know little. But is
not your Father "our Father?" Wo, too,
say "Our Father who art in heaven." What
means this beating, fluttering heart? I
Iremble wi It fe.tr. And now it is more qui.
et. I hope, O, yes, I hopo that you will not
lorjet, in this, my rude speech, that I am a
child of the forest. I thank you very much,
ladies aud gentlemen, for coming to hear us
sing. Expect not much from us; we can
not sing—we only warble. The bird, when
he sings, fills tie grove with his mellow,
perfect notes, at d does not peck at the lit
tfe nestling when : t tries to imitate what it
hears.
Letters from Benjamin Farnklla.
The Boston Post publishes five copiee of
unpublished letters from Dr. Franklin, which
have recently been found in that city. They
contain much of the originality of style pe
culiar to that eminent man. The following
one seems to have been addressed to a lady
with whom he was on intimate terms preri-
I ous to his marriage, and who was still single
I at ihat date r v
PHILADELPHIA, Oct. 16, 1755.
Dear Katy—Your favor of the 28th June
came to baud, but on the 23d Sept., just 3
: months after it was wiitten. I hadtvvo weeks
before written you a long chat and sent it to
the care of your brother Ward. I hoar you
.ore now in Boston, gay and lovely as usual.
Let me give you some fatherly advice : Kill
1 no more pigeons than you can eat. Be a good
girl, and don't forget your catechise; go con*
stantly to meeting, or church, 'till you get a
good husband ; and then stay at home and
nurse the children and live like a christian.
Spend your spare hours in sober whist, pray. •
ers, or learning to cipher. You must practice
addition to your husband's estate by industry
and frugality, Subtraction of all unnecessary
expenses. Multiplication —he will soon make
you mistress of it. As to division, I say with
brother Paul, "Let there be no division a
mcng ye,'"but as your good sister Hubbard
(my love to her) is well acquainted with the
rule of two, I hope you will become as expert
in the rule of three, that when I have again
the pleasure of seeing you I may find you
like my grape vine, surrounded with clus
ters, plump, juicy, blushing, pretty little
rogues, just like their mama. Adieu,the bell
rings, and I must go among the graze one*
and talk politics. B. F.
"THINKS I TO MYSELF."
We are indebted to a worthy and observ
ing friend for many of the following useful
hints:
When I see a mass of chips accumulated
in a farmer's back yard, remaining year af
ter year, thinks Ito my self, if the coarser
ones were raked out, they would serve for
fuel, and the finer parts with addition of soap,
suds, &c., from the house, would afford a
valuable source for manuro.
When I see a convex barn yard, thinks I
to mpsolf there is comparatively but little
manure made there.
When I see banks of manure resting a
gninst a barn during the summcrseason, ser
ving only to rot the building—thinks I to tut-,
self that manure might be belter employed.
When I see the drainings of a barn-yard
finding their way into gullies and rivulets,
while with small expense they might be
thrown into a valuable swell or declivity,
thinks Ito myself, that farmer is blind of
his own interest.
When I seo plowing done, year after year,
in the same track, beside a fence or gully, till
a dyke of considerable height is thrown up,
and of course a corresponding leanness in
the interior, thinks 1 to myself, thbre is vraot
of husbandry. , J
When I see a stone wall topped out with a
single tier of round stone, thinks I to myself,
the upper foot in the height of such walls
ought never to have hen put on, and look
out for dull teythes and loss of hay.
When I see a fruit tree loaded with twice
the top necessaryfer bearing well; and this
perhaps half dead, thereby keeping the nee
dy rays of tha sun from the under crop,thinks
| I to myself, there is an indication of badhus
bandrft
I When t see sfones piled around the trunk
Jef a fruit tree, thinks I to myself, here is an
[invitation to suckers and to mice, and if dull
| sevthesshmiW follow, it would not be strange.