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-nSO-6mns
B OLTON HOUSE.
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A continuance of tho public patronage is refpect
fttily solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
U' BiKHAN NOCK, WYOMING CO., FA.
VHU establishment haa recently been refitted an
A furnished in tbe latest style Every attention
*>'! be given to the comfort and convenience of those
WJO patronize tho House.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor :
Tankhannock, September 11, 1861.
WORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
ME.SIIOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA.
w ®. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r
fPW r * ,um ®d the proprietorship of the above
.u *L' the un dersigne l will spare no efforts
all whr 6 °f U " e a,n "Rteaable place ol sojourn to
U who may favor it with their custom.
Win 11. CORTRIGHT.
June, 3rd, 1863
MEANS' HOTELT
TOWANDA, TSA
lb B. BARTLET,
iUteoftu. BBRAINAKD HODSK, ELXIRA, N. Y.
PROPRIETOR.
Ji h S n^ ANS nOTEr ', ■ one of the LAROEST
i< *, ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
an l * ln moß ' modern and unproved style,
are spared to make it a pleawat and
■-1® atopping-piago for all,
BIIIELL & Miimin ceil
A LARGE
STOCK OP
SPRING
GOODS,
JUST RECEIVED AND
Fop Sale
t ///:. //',
|
ALL KINDS OP
!
Produce
TAKEN IN EXCHANGE
FOR GOODS
AT
BUNNELL Jt BANNATYNE'S
TwtiAanttoci, ?$■
Sail.
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. -- WEDNESDAY, AUG. 28,1867.
A SNAKE IN THE GLASS.
BY JOHN O. BAXB.
Come. lintoii a while to me, my lad,
Come, listen to me a ape!l !
Let that terrible drum,
For a be dumb,
For your uncle ie going tc tell
What befel
A youth that loved liquor too well.
A clever young man wag he, my lad,
And with beauty uncommonly blessed,
Ere with brandy and wia
lie began to decline,
And behave like a person possessed,
I protest
The temperance plan is the beet.
One evening he went to tbe tavern, my lad,
lie went to the tavern one night,
And drinking too much
Rum, brandy, and such,
The chap got exceedingly "tight,"
And was quite
What your aunt would entitle a "fright."
The fellow fell into a snooze, my lad,
'lisa horrible slumber be take;
He trembles with fear,
And acta very queer;
My eyes bow bo shivers and shakes
When be wakes,
And raves about great horrid snakes !
'Tis a warning to you and me my lad,
A {.articular caution to all—
Though no one can see
The viper but he—
To hear the poor lunat ie bowl,
' How tbpy crawl
All over the floe r ana the wall
The next morning he took to his bed, my lad,
Next morning be took to his bed,
And he never got up
To dine or to sup.
Though properly physiced and bled ;
And 1 read,
Next day, the poor fellow was dead.
You havo heart. oft 1 e snake in the grass, my lad,
Of uie viper concealed in the gris,
But you mL„t know
Man's deadliest too
Is a snake of a different class ;
Alas !
'Tis the viper that lurks in the glass!
A TOUCHING PASSAGE.
How eloquently does Chateaubriand re
ply to the inquiry, "Is there a God f*
"There is a God! The herbs of the val
ley, the cedars of the mountain bless Him;
the insects sport in His beams; the ele
phant salutes Him with the rising orbs of
day; the thunder proclaims Him in the
Heavens ; the ocean declares His immensi
ty ; man alone has said, 'there is no God !'
Unite in thought at the same io.tant the
most beautiful objects in nature: suppose
that you see at once all the hours of the
and all the seasons of the year ; a morning
of spring and a morning of autumn ; a
night bespangled with stars and a night
covered with clouds; meadows enameled
with flowers and hoary with snow ; fields
gilded by tints of autumn ; then alone you
will have a just conception of the universe.
While you are gazing upon that sun which
is plugging under the vault of the West,
another observer admires him emerging
from the gilded gates of the East. By
what inconceivable magic does that aged
star which is sinking fatigued and burning
in tbe shade of the evening, reappear at the
6ame instant, fresh and humid with the ro
sy dew of tbe morning 1 At every instant
of the day tbe glorious orb is at onse ris
ing, resplendant at noon-day, and setting
in the West; or rather our senses deceive
us, and there is, properly speaking, no East
West, North, or Sonth in the world. Ev
erything reduces itself to a single point,
fiom whence the King of Day sends forth
at once a triple light in one substance.
Tbe bright sllendor is perhaps that which
nature can present that is most beautiful
for while it gives us an idea of the perpet
ual magnificence and resistless power of
God, it exhibits at the same time a shining
image of thejglorious Trinity.,'
MARRIAGE AND LONGEVITY.
Bachelors die earlier than other men.
This is confirmed by Dr. htark of the Reg
ister's office in Scotland, who finds that the
average age of married men over twenty
years is over fifty-nine years ; that is, mar
riage adds nearly one-third to the length of
life, as a general rule, because--
Ist. Bachelors' are always in a state of
unrest, they feel unsettled.
2d. If indoors after supper thpre is a
sense of solitariness, inducing a sadness, not
actual meloncholy, with all their depressing
influence; and many, many hours in the
course of the year are P pcnt in gloomy inac
tivity, which is adverse to a good digestion
and a vigorous and bealthiful circulation.
3d. His own chamber or house being so
uninviting the bachelor is inclined to seek
diversion outside, in 6nppers with friends
in clnbs which are introductories to intem
perance and licentiousness, or to those more
unblushing associations which, under the
cover of darkness, lead to a speedy rnin of
health and morals; and when these are gone
the way downward to an untimely grave is
rapid aod certain.
On the other hand, marriage lengthens a
man's life,
Ist. By its making home inviting. '
2nd. By the softening influences which it
haa upon the character and the affections.
3d. By the cultivation of all the better
feelings of our natnre, and in that propor
tion saving from vice and crime.
4th. There can be no healthful develop
ment of the physical functions of our nature
without marriage—it is necessary to the
perfect man ; for Divinity has announced
that it was "not good for man to be alone,"
sth Marriage gives a laudible and hap
pyfying object in life, the provision for wife
and children, their present comfort and fu
ture welfare, tbe enjoyment in witnessing
their happiness and tbe daily and hourly
participations in affectionate interchange of
thought aod sentimentand sympathy; these
are the considerations whicih antagonize
sorrow and lighten the burdens of life, thus
strewing flowers and casting sunshine all
along its pathway.
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Bight. "
STORY OF A YOUNG GIRL. —I heard a
touching story of a young girl the daugh
ter of a once eminent physician, who upon
the death of her father was obliged to sup
port her mother and herself. She under
took ihe management of a Kindergarten
school, and established her mother in a
neat and comfortable home. She herself
took apartments in anotbe r section of the
city. An intimate friend af hers grew
anxious to know bow she was living. On
a card she had her address, a good street a
good house, in a respectable locality, hut
five miles away.
"Caroline tells me she gets along nicely,
her old mother had said to this friend;
"and she must, for you know that is a
very fine part of London where she is."
So Caroline was sought for.
"I found the house," said the friend who
related the story. "It is a very imposing
mansion, five stories high, and in good re
pair. A servant came to the door, well
dressed, but smiled when I asked for Car
oline.
•'She was not in; would soon be in.
"I lold her I was an old friend, and
would wait, She smiled again
"Would I care about going np so high ?
It was over the children's nursery.
"I said I would not mind, but I confess
that I was wearv long before I arrived at
the fifth floor. iTheie I was ushered into
—I scarcely know how to call it a room ;
it was more like a closet. Only in the
center could cue stand upright. It was
the garret- No carpet covered the floor,
which was scrupulously clean. A little
trundle-bed stood in one corner, covered
with a coarse white linen sheet, instead of
a counterpane. Under a calico curtain
Hr.g ' r scanty wardrobe—two black
ureases. One chair, a little pine table, a
bit of cupboard in one corner—these were
all that were visible, with the exception of
a small bathing-tub in one end of the poor
little garret. ,
"Trembling at my own impertinence, I
opened the cupboaad. One cup and sau
cer, a spoon, a knife and fork, and a loaf
of bread. Tbe tears rushed to mv eyes.
She who bad lived in comparative luxury,
to he reduced to this !
"No sooner had I made my observations
than Caroline came in. I shall never for
get her look as she saw me—not of pride
but astonishment.
" -1 thought I bad so completely buried
myself that nobody would find me ! she
cried —'How kind you are l'
" 'My dear girl, you could surely live
better than this!' I exclaimed.
" 'But not cheaper," was her reply.
( My expenses are next to nothing, yon
must know, and mama could not live as
she does if I allowed myself luxuries. She
is very old, and must not want the com
forts she has become accustomed to. Be
sides. I have everything I really need.
My bread and water are sure, and I am
healthy. If you look out you will see the
swallows' nest just under my wiodow. I
feed the pretty birdies every day, and I
believe they know me. My books and
papers are pleasant companions , I am
surrounded with a purer atmosphere; I
have no neighbors opposite to watch me,
and I want you to beleive that I am very
happy ; and if you see mama, tell her also
that Caroline is as comfortabloas possible.'
" t ßut, my child, do you never regret
the past ?
" 'What good would that do me ? Re
grets are useless dreams. Of course, if I
could have poor papa again'—her lip trem
bled a little. She ran to tbe closet, lifted
her loaf, and laughingly asked me if I
were hungry.
" 'Pray don't imagine that I want any
thing,' she added merrily. 'I have a little
store of fig 9 and nuts and raisins that I
eat for a dessert ; one or two of the ser
vants, are very willing to cook mo a little
meat when I want it, and I really do live
like a princess. So don't waste any re
grets on me.'
"1 came away from there," said my friend,
"feeling that I had learned a new lesson in
human experience, and that tbe-e could
be, what I had never even imagined pos
sible, happiness in lodgings—even iu a
garret whose occupant was a voting girl
of nineteen, who had been reared in a
home of affluence, and with no daintier vi
ands than a crust of bread and a cup of
cold water."
A VERY HASTY WEDDING. —A some
what novel and romantic marriage took
place in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, recently,
which may interest tbe lady portion of our
readers. A wedding was announced to
take place in the evening at ono of the
churches, and of course the seats were
crowded—for there are thousands of per
sons who will go to see a man married or
hanged who would not venture on any oth
er ordinary or extraordioauy occasion.
Among the spectators were a widower and
widow, both in the noonday of life, who
happened to sit together in the same pew.
They had a slight acquaintance, and
very naturally whispered together upon the
appearance of the bride and bridegroom at
the altar. At about the conclusion of the
ceremony the gentleman sighed audibly,
and whispered to his companion, "l'oor
things | I bate to see them start out in
the world alone ; I'd like to keep the poor
creatures company to night."
"So wonld I, " sighed the widow. "Say
w do," said the widower, a bright idea
striking him, "Agreed," responded the
widow. The first ceremony was no soon
er through, accordingly, than up marched
the hero and heroine of our story to the
altar, and in less time than a tbarce were
made one flesh, to the utter bewilderment
of the assemblage.
EXCITMENT IN A CIRCUS.
We laughed heartily over the following
ludicrous story aud would not deprive our
readers of the same enjoyment:
A number of years ago, when Michigan
waa a new country, in Livingston county,
there lived a family by the name of Clay
ton, and one called Perkins also, —as well
as a great many others.
Pete Clayton was a tall, fine looking fel
low—a noble specimen of our backwoods
men—standing six feet and two inches in
his stockings.
Pete had taken a shine to Miss Sally
Perkins, and it was known in fact that
they were engaged, but the day when the
knot was to be tied had not as yet been di
vulged.
In the month of August, 1849, June's
circus came through their town lor the first
time, and in fact it was the first had ever
passed that way, and there were a great
many people that had never seen one.
When the important day arrived, the town
was filled to over flowing with a motley
crowd, of course, and every young fellow
had his gal. Now, Pete wanted to get
married on the coming Christmas, but
Sally wished to have it put of till the next
spring. When the ticket wagon was open
the tent was filled in a hurry. Pete and
Sally bad bees looking through the side
shows and they were late in getting in, and
the performance had already commenced.
They walked around the entire ring, try
ing to find a seat, aud although they coold
seat two thousand people, every seat was
crammed full.
"Never mind," said Sal, „I'd just as lief
stand up.'*
Bet the gallant Pete couldn't think of it
and said,' wait a minute, and I'll get you
a chair," and off he started, leaving poor
Sal alone.
Just at this moment the clown came in,
dressed in his usual custom and dancing
aroud the ring, stopped right in front of
Sal and began to sing:
"Oh, Sally is the gal for me."
This caused Sal to blush, for she thought
the clown was looking at her, and she
hid the view of those on the lower seats
behind her and as usual OD such occasions,
the clown cracked his jokes at the offenders
untill they take tbe hint and find a seat,
but she said she would rather stand up.
At this the clown commenced Lis jokes,
remarking to the ring master:
"There's a chance for me now."
"A chance for you?"
"Yes don't you see that gal has lost her
bean, and she is looking at me, I know,"
and turning thee or four sumersaults, be
stopped right iu frout of Sal, and begau to
siog,
"Oh Sally is the gal for me'
I would have no other,
And if Sal died to-morrow night,
I'd marry .Sally's mother."
This was eveidently meant for her, raised
Sal's dander, and she burst out with—
"l'm the gal for you am 11 Marrying
my mother, would yer? You low lived
spotted schnm of the earth. If my feller
was here he wallop you for that. I would
n't stay here another minnit—nor neither
would anv decent people either." Saying
which she rushed out of the tent amid
roars of laughter.
The clown assuming a comical attitude
remarked to the ring master that his grand
father was remarkable man, and so was
my grandmother, too, but that gal beat all
bis forefathers.
At this juncture Pete rushed in closely
followed by Sal, and jumping into the ring,
he squared off to the clown and said.' •
"I'll teach yon to insult any female un
der my charge," and let fly at his oppo
nent and taking him plump in the face sent
him to mother earth, at which he jumped
on him and commenced kicked him unmer
cifully; Sal standing on the out of the ring,
clapping her hands, sung out:
"That's it, Pete, give hirajessie and we
will get married Christmas, sure.,"
At this the ringmaster and three or four
ethers caught Pete and commenced to
thrash him, when Pete's friends interfer
ed and a general fight ensued, which com
pletely broke up the circus.
TTow A GRUMBLER WAS SERVED.— A
hnsband was continually finding fault
with his wife for her want of neatness —
that his house was r.ot always kept like a
hand-box, nor his tables polished like mir.
rors. This was one day very warmly ex
pressed, and comparisons were instituted
between her management and that of a
neighboring Quakeress, whom the husband
had seen on that day The wife promised
compliance with his wishes; and on the bus
leaving the house, she put everything in
the most exact and neat order. The hus
band returned rather la'er than usual, with
a friend whom he had invited to dine with
him. To his surprise he found the front
door of his house locked— he knocked
loudly, and with great vehemence demand
ed immediate admittance, when an upper
window was raised, and out popped tbe
head of his beloved spouse, "Thee cannot
come in at the front door—thee must go
round by the gate into the kitchen." The
husband sheepishly complied, and ever af- ]
ter suffered his wife to manage her house
hold affairs as she saw fit.
"What did yon used to do, mamma, be
fore you were married P' asked a cherubie
four years old. "Well, my dear,-1 had a
very good time." "A good time !' he ex
claimed, indignantly—"what, without me!"
Th^jevifforgottogpacethislipt.
STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD
A native of Australia, Mr. J. E. Evans,
recently gave an exhibition of remarkable
strength, at the Sea Hotel, in Chesterfield,
England, to establish bis claims as tbe
strongest man in the world. He held a
fifty-six pound weight in varions positions,
at arm's length, and increased the number
untill he raised four fifty-six pound weights
above bis head, holding them at arm's
length, and at the same time standing upon
four tumbler glasses. He also held the
weights on the top of the glass, and allow
ed a glass of water to be placed upon tho
top of the weights. He laid flat upon the
floor, and let a fifty-six pound weight fall a
distance of about a yard on bis hare chest,
and tbe weight rebounded as though it had
come in contact with a piece of india rob
ber. A piece of stone, four inches thick,
was next placed upon his chest, and Mr.
Ilineb, blacksmith, smashed it with two
blows into fragments. Mr. Ilinch and
Mr. Turner then cut a piece of two-inch
iron in two across his chest with the hammer
and chisel. The feats concluded by Pro
fessor Hercules lying fiat upon the floor,
and allowing Mr. Ilinch to strike him, with
with all his strength, with a sixteen-pound
sledge hammer. The blow was met by the
Professor, and the hammer rebounded with
out leaving a scratch upon his body.
WHAT TO TAKE. —An exchange says;
\ lady of our aquaintance, young, and
lovely and intelligent, called on a celebrat
ed physician to do "something" for a rush
of blood to the head
"I have been doctoring myself," said tbe
languid fair one, with a smile, to the bluff
though kind M. D., while he was feeling
her pulse.
"Why, I have taken Brandreth's Pills,
Parr's Pills, Stanburg's Pills, Sand's Sar
6aparilla, Jaync's Expectorant, used Dr.
Sherman's Lozenges and Plaster, and—"
"My Hevens! madam," interrupted the
astonished doctor, "all these do your com
plaint no good 1"
"No!—then what shall I take!" pettishly
inquired the patient,
"Take 1" exclaimed the doctor, eyeing
her from head to foot—"take ! exclaimed
he after a moment's reflection, "Why take
off your corsets!"
READ AN HOUR A DAY.
There was a lad who, at fourteen, was
apprenticed to a soap-boiler. One of his
resolutions was to read an hour a day, or
at least at that rate, and he had an old sil
ver watch, left bim by his uncle, which he
timed bis reading by. He stayed seven
years with his master, and 6aid when he
was twenty-one he knew a? much aa the
young squire did.—Now, let us see how
much time he had to read in, in seven
years, at the rate of an hour each day. It
would be 2,555 hours, which, at the rate of
eight readings hours per day, would be
equal to three hundred and ten days; equal
to forty-five week; equal to twelve months;
nearly a year's reading. That time spent
in treasuring up useful knowledge would
pile up a very large store. lam sure it is
worth tryiDg for. Try what you cau. Be
gin now. In after years you will look back
upon the task as the most pleasant and pro
fitable you ever performed.
A MEMBER of the bar once entered the
Court Appeals ofNew York while a coun
sellor was arguing an important case.
"Who is that gentleman addressing the
Court !" said he, speaking to Charles C'con
nor, who was sitting near him. "That 6ir,
is Daniel Lord, Junior, and he puts on the
JUNIOR, so that he may not be mistaken for
the Lord Almighty." It may be inferred
that these two professionals resembled neith
er Damon and Pythias, nor Jonathan and
and David, in their affection for each other.
WouLD't Own UP !—Joe Stetson was a
wild rolicking fellow, who spent most of his
time in drinking and spreeing, while his wife,
Polly, was left at home to do the chore.—
Upon a certain occasion, Joe, left home to
he back, as he said, that night Night
came, but Joe did not. The neqt day pass
ed, but, about sunset Joe came up in the
worst condition imaginable—his cloths
dirty and torn, one ey in deep mourning,
and his face presented the appearance of a
peice of raw meat than anythtng else.
Polly met him at the door, and noticing his
appearance exclaimed:
"Why, Joe, what in the world is the mat
ter?"
"Polly," said Joe, "do yon know Jim
Andrews! Well him and me had a fight''
"Who whipped, Joe?"aked Polly.
„Polly, we had the hardest fight you
ever did ee. I hit him and he hit me,
and then we clinched, Polly; ain't supper
most ready! I ain't had anything since
yesterday morning."
"Bnt tell me who whipped, Joe," con
tinued Polly.
"Polly," replied Joe, "I tell you, you
never did see such a flight as roe and bim
had. When he clinched me I jorked loose
from him, and then gin him three or four
of the mo9t sufficientest licks you ever
herd of, Polly, aiu't supper ready 1 I'm
nearly starved."
"Joe, do tell me who whipped?" contin
ued Polly.
"Polly, replied Joe, "yon don't know
nothing about fighting." I tell you we
fought like tigers; we rolled and tumbled—
first him on top, then me on top —then the
boys would pat me on the shoulder, and
holler, Oh my ? Stetson. We gouged,
and bit, and tore up the dirt in Seth Run
nel's grocery yard worser nor two wild
bulls. Polly, ain't supper most ready.
I'm monstrous hungry."
"Joe Stetson ? exclaimad Polly in a tone
bristling with anger, "will you tell me who
whipped 1"
"Polly," said Joe, drawing a loDgsigh,
"I hollered I"
TERMS, $3.00 Per. ANOTJM, in Advance.
pis* aifo Jtjretfow.
The pleasure of doing good Is the only one
that never wean oat,
■ 1 ■ • - ■ ■ -
.Speech it silver, but silence is gold. Hence
the expression, bash money.
•'Little things do much," said the lion,when
released from a snare by an humblo mouse.
The individual who was accidentally injur
ed by the discharge of his duty is still very
low.
A fine woman like a locomotive, draws a
train after her, scatters the sparks, and tran&i
ports the mails.
The boy who lost his balance on "the roof
found it on the ground shortly afterwards.
Snibbs wan to know if doctors, by looking
at the tongue of a wagon, can tell what ails
it.
Longfellow's beautiful phrase, "suffer tod
be strong," is now familiarly rendered, "grin
and bear it.'.
An old bachelor's definition of love : A
little sighing, a little crying, a little dying
and a good deal of lying.
What kind of essence does a young man
like when ho pops the question ? Acquiess
cence,
Why are milkmen like Pharaoh's daugh
ter 1 Because they find a little profit in the
water
Those ladies who have a passion for tea
parties should remember that tattle begina
with T,
An Irishman remarked of a lady who had
been very kind to him—"Bedad she's a per
fect gentleman."
Scolding, says a good for-nothing old bach
elor, is the pepper of matrimony aod the la
dies are the pepper boxes.
If your mother's mother was my mother's
aunt, what relation wonld your great grand
father's nephew be to my eldest brother's
■on in-law.
A country editor thinks that Colambus is
not entitled to much credit for discovering
America, as the country is ao large he coald
not well have miased it.
Here's thejbaDnisters, but where in the
deuce are the stairs—as the drunken fellow
said while groping his way around the beds
stead in the dark.
Never fret about what you can't help, be*,
cause it won't do you any good. Never fret
about what you can't help; because if you
can help it, do ao.
A lady trampled on a dog's tail the other
day, and the animal bit her leg. The blood
did not flow, however —only sawdust.
A Cockney, seeing ao urchin lying across a
leather, remarked that the boy could not tee
straight because be was cross hide.
At a Fourth of /uly celebration in Marion
county; 111., a young lady offered the follow
ing toast: "The young men of America.
Their arms our support ; our arms their re>
ward." Fall ID, men—fail in.
A young lady, not at all addicted to affec
tatioo, hearing a gentleman remark in com
pany, that all pretty girls who lisped likod to
be kissed, instantly annswered, 'Tho FM
heard lhay /'
There is a hoax going the rounds of the
press, that a Degro in Virginia is gradually
turning white, which seems to amaze every
bedy. But thousands of white men have
turned niggers within the last few years
without surprising anybody.
When a Wisconsin gal is kissed she looks
suprised, and says ;
"How conld you ?"
To which the swain replies,—
•'lt will give me great pleasure to show
you," and proceeds to give her a duplicate.
- . - >4-9 ■
An Irishman had left his nstlve country*
and sought an aaylum in America because it
was a land of liberty, was attaked on his ar
rival, in December, by a furious mastiff. Ho
stooped to pick up to delend himself,
but the atone was froxeo fast. "By my soul,"
says Pat, "what a awate country, where thi
dogs are let loose and the stones tied fast."
As one of the Dover, (England) volunteera
was passing along, rifle in hand, he was ac
ooated by a precocious nrchtn who cried out;
"Who shot the dog 7"
Thia saying our friend appeared by no
msans to relish, So turning he said :
"If yon are not off very soon, I'll shoot
a donkey."
Whereupon the boy, catling out to one of
his companions,rejoined:
"1 say, BiH, look here; this fellow ie id*
to commit suicide."
NO. 4.